24
by DarkBard0
Summary: 24 hours turns out to be a very, very long time. Femslash warning - JJ/Emily. Don't like, don't read.
1. Teaser

**Title: **24

**Fandom: **Criminal Minds

**Pairing:** JJ/Emily

**Spoilers:** None

**Summary: **24 hours turns out to be a very, very long time.

**Rating: **15/M ish, I think

**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything. No copyright infringement is intended. Song is **24 **by **JEM**, I do not own it.

**A/N **– Not exactly sure when it's supposed to be set, because it took me a long while to realise I was using Gideon and not Rossi! So, not sure about that one.

**Thank You **– To **sofialindsay **for beta reading, you kick ass!

_''Been given 24 hours _

_To tie up loose ends _

_To make amends_

_His eyes said it all _

_I started to fall _

_And the silence deafened_

_Head spinning round _

_No time to sit down _

_Just wanted to _

_Run and run and run_

_Be careful they say _

_Don't wish life away, _

_Now I've one day_

_And I can't believe_

_How I've been wasting my time_

_In 24 hours they'll be _

_Laying flowers _

_On my life, it's over tonight_

_I'm not messing no I _

_Need your blessing_

_And your promise to live free_

_Please do it for me_

_Is there a heaven a hell _

_And will I come back _

_Who can tell_

_Now I can see _

_What matters to me _

_It's as clear as crystal_

_The places I've been_

_The people I've seen_

_Plans that I made _

_Start to fade_

_The sun's setting gold _

_Thought I would grow old, _

_It wasn't to be_

_And I can't believe_

_How I've been wasting my time''_

**24**

**New Jersey **

**Wednesday**

**10:45pm**

There was nothing special about it. Nothing stood out. There was no uniqueness or individuality to be seen anywhere. Some lawns differed from others, but not in any grand ways. Some had children's toys scattered over them, some had more flowers than others. All the houses were the same. All that bright, clean white colour. All had the American flag stood to attention, its material flapping every now and then in the faint breeze of the night. All except one.

It was your typical, lazy suburban street. It could have been any quiet neighbourhood street. Where kids could play and neighbours were friends. It could have been in any city, in any State.

This one, however, was in New Jersey. And its quietness was disturbed in such a way that many of its residents curiously stood out on their front porches, watching the commotion before them. The street now wasn't solely lit up by its lampposts. Now it was splashed with the red and blue that flashed on top of police cruisers and a couple of unmarked SUV's. Also, the bright lights that a crowd of reporters used as they broadcast this commotion to their various stations.

It was strange. Foreign even, for those residents to find their street was now the centre of attention across the country. Nothing ever happened here. Apart from, something _was _happening. Something had _been _happening for some time now. They just never realised it.

As the police barricaded the area around the last house on the street, the one devoid of a flag, the paramedics waited anxiously in their ambulance. The SWAT unit that had been deployed to this shocking state of affairs waiting patiently by their mobile command unit, where their leader and the FBI were trying to negotiate.

The members of that FBI team consisted of three males, currently wearing their protective vests. Supervisory Special Agent and unit chief Aaron Hotchner stared toward the house, that impenetrable, steely gaze serious and foreboding. Next to him, Derek Morgan did much the same, his expression both worried and angry. He paced back and forth, hands on hips as he became increasingly impatient. Their attention was stolen by Jason Gideon, who sighed as he put the hostage negotiation phone down before looking up at them glumly. His expression showing that of regret and almost sadness.

''What happened? What'd he say?''

Morgan demanded, now ceasing in his up to now relentless pacing. If he had been allowed to, he would have charged the house and taken out the unsub himself. He was tired; beyond worried and so far from pissed off it wasn't even funny. He wanted to do something, _now_. He wasn't going to get that chance though, and as he watched Gideon rub his forehead and slowly inhale a breath, he braced himself for what was to become. Because when Gideon looked like that, he knew it wasn't anything remotely good.

''He won't speak to me. Or anyone. He simply asked to personally talk to one person.''

Gideon related, his voice eerily soft and calm for the intense, dangerous and personal situation they found themselves in. A situation that had unfortunately confronted them before.

''Who, Jason?''

Hotchner's chin rose slightly in serious curiosity, but beneath that he knew what answer to expect. It brought a rather uncomfortable feeling into his gut, and quickly he assessed any other option in his head.

''He asked to speak to JJ.''

A small breath that he had been holding escaped Hotchner's mouth, and if it was possible, his staunch frown became more pronounced. That was the answer he had been expecting. It brought a potent distaste, and a great reluctance with it. The last thing he wanted to do was to send one of his people in there. Especially JJ. He knew she would go. But that was the problem.

Casting a weary look toward Morgan, he could see the same thoughts shooting across his troubled eyes. Added to his expression was something close to panic, and an obvious streak of protection.

''You're not serious? You're gunna let JJ walk in there?''

As Morgan had cast his look over to Gideon, he recognised that look immediately. That resigned look he got when he was about to do something that could be considered impulsive and out of the norm. Like sending JJ into a dark house with a violent unsub waiting for her. That kind of impulsive. The anger that the younger man was feeling flared up quickly, knowing that Gideon was going to do just that.

''What choice do we have? Get her over here, now.''

Seeing no other choice, Hotchner nodded and turned away as he pulled out his cell phone. He was having the same worries that Morgan was, but there really was no other option.

**''**I do _not _like this man. Not one bit.''

Gideon nodded at Morgan's protest, watched him point a finger in the air in his physical objection. He had anticipated the objection, of course. Morgan right now was thinking more like an over protective big brother. It was one of his qualities, really. He couldn't step back from his personal feelings to see that this was their only cause of action.

''What's to like about a hostage situation?''

Morgan snickered, flailing again angrily as he put his hands on top of his head. Taking in a deep breath, he released it slowly to try and calm down.

**''**That's not what I meant, and you know it. We're talking about willingly handing over another FBI Agent here.''

He pointed out, a little calmer but only barely. He knew there was no way he was going to talk his superior out of this. But despite himself, he tried. Things were bad enough as it were. What started out as a bad enough case, had plummeted into a devastating one. To be honest, right now, Morgan wasn't even sure how it had ended up like this. Leaving them helpless and having to barter and play the unsubs game. He wanted to rip his goddamn throat out for it. He was so angry. Angry at him, and angry at themselves for not being able to stop this somehow.

''Exactly. Another FBI Agent. JJ can handle herself; she's good at this Morgan. He feels a connection to her, she can use that. She's the best one to go in there.''

Gideon pointed out, his voice still calm in hopes that it would calm Morgan down. If he got any angrier he was likely to explode. And he couldn't have another one of his Agents' compromised right now. He couldn't have Morgan loosing it, he needed him to stay in the game so that he could handle whatever was about to happen.

It wasn't as though he wanted to do this either. He was of course aware how dangerous it was to grant the unsubs request. But he also knew there was nothing else to be done, and he also knew that what he had said was true. JJ could handle herself, she was smart and cautious, and she did what needed to be done. He believed in her abilities, despite knowing that he could overlook them sometimes. He had watched JJ grow and progress since she had joined the BAU team. Even when she was new, she had been extremely gifted at her work. She was a determined young woman, and he trusted her. He knew she could get the job done.

As they remained in the holding pattern, and Gideon reflected and Hotchner talked on the phone, as the media speculated and the residents looked on, Morgan could only turn in little circles praying that this situation would be resolved happily.

**11:15pm**

It seemed like a lifetime between Hotchner placing the call and a police siren blaring into the opening of the street. The cruiser moved slowly through the crowd, the Officers at the barricades trying to shoo the eager reporters and spectators out of the way so it could get through. A moment or two later it did, and as it parked up the barricades were put back in place. A few calls for attention from the newshounds could be heard, as well as camera flashes, as both JJ and Reid got out of the police cruiser and moved quickly to the mobile command unit.

''JJ, are you _sure _you want to go in there?''

Foregoing niceties in such a tense situation, Hotchner instead got right to the point. He looked at JJ seriously, unwilling to let her go in there if she didn't want to go in. Once again though, he found himself knowing the answer before he heard the reply.

''Of course I'm sure. What do I need to know?''

Despite looking like she was treading on hot coals right this very moment, JJ's tone and expression was set to that of pure determination. She was nothing if not professional. She was focused and ready to do whatever the hell needed to be done. The blonde didn't even flinch as she looked at Gideon intently, wanting to be armed with more than just the vest Hotchner started to put on her and the gun she carried.

**''**He feels a connection to you. He's seen you on the TV, spoken to you, he thinks you care. Thinks that you understand him for some reason. He's confused; he doesn't know what's going on. He may not know what's real and what isn't, he wants you to make things clear for him. Be caring, but not overly so. Stay focused on the facts, reassure him. Connect with him if you can, but don't feed directly into his neurosis. Let him confide in you, let him know what's happened. But don't forget what he is. Don't forget he's a dangerous psychopath that's spiralling out of control.''

JJ nodded, listening intently to what Gideon said, and taking heed of the warning he gave her. She really didn't need to worry about that one; she couldn't forget that if she tried. Taking in a breath as Hotchner finished securing her into the protective vest, she turned slightly toward Morgan that touched her shoulder to get her attention.

''JJ, you're going in there with no communication. He won't allow it. So you'll be on your own.''

JJ knew from the look in Morgan's eyes, and the tones running through his voice, that there was more to his words of information and warning. Silently he expressed his anxiousness, his protectiveness and utmost his care and support. There too was a deep reminder of his affection for her as his friend. A friendship she greatly valued.

''I understand.''

With a decisive and firm nod, she too let her feeling go unspoken knowing that he would already understand. Then, her attention was gained by that of Hotchner, who got her to turn slightly to face him now. She often joked about the stern looks Hotchner had, and how stoic he could be. She teased him sometimes, comfortable enough to be able to do it and knowing that he never doubted his respect for her. What she rarely said was that those looks actually reassured her a lot of the time. They reminded her that he was almost rock like in his nature, always there and ready to support. She wished he would smile a little more, despite knowing he did when he wasn't being watched by many people. But a smile would have put her off now, and she actually took comfort in his expression.

**''**If there's any sign of trouble, _anything_, we'll storm the house. Do exactly as you're told to do. Remain still; make sure tactical can see your hands.''

''Got it. Anything else?''

Watching JJ take a deep but quick breath and sensing she was ready, Gideon took her by the shoulders firmly but caringly. This was a hard situation. Worse than normal. Despite having full trust in her, he also knew how trying it would be for JJ to go in there by herself. He knew that she could loose it in the space of a second. He knew her feelings could understandably get the better of her. It would be the same if any of them had to in there, but the temptation was so much more significant for JJ. However, he mentioned none of this. There was no need. The only words he had left for her, was the express permission he knew she needed to hear.

''Get Emily out of there, any way you can.''

_''In 18 hours they'll be_

_Laying flowers _

_On my life, it's over tonight_

_I'm not messing no I_

_Need your blessing_

_And your promise to live free_

_Please do it for me_

_In 13 hours they'll be_

_Laying flowers _

_On my life, it's over tonight_

_I'm not messing no I_

_Need your blessing_

_And your promise to live free_

_Please do it for me_

_I'm not alone, I sense it, I sense it_

_All that I said, I meant it, I meant it_

_And I can't believe_

_How much I've wasted my time_

_In just 8 hours they'll be_

_Laying flowers _

_On my life, it's over tonight_

_I'm not messing no I_

_Need your blessing_

_And your promise to live free_

_Please do it for me_

_In just 1 hour they'll be_

_Laying flowers _

_On my life, it's over tonight_

_I'm not messing no I_

_Need your blessing__A_

_nd your promise to live free_

_Please do it for me''_


	2. Fun With Friends

**2) Fun With Friends.**

_ ''Love is the most elusive of all things. You'll stumble upon it _

_ if you've all but given up looking, but you'll never find it if _

_ you look too hard.''_

Wesley Creeksfield.

**F.B.I Headquarters**

**Quantico, Virginia**

**Friday, 4:15pm**

**3 days earlier**

Considering that her office was pretty much the definition of organised chaos, JJ appreciated the constant calm it provided her. Maybe to the unobservant eye, her office was just somewhere to shove her files. A quiet place for her to work, and be able to talk to the various people she had to talk to on a daily basis. However, to her it was much more than that.

Over the time she had been working here, it had become her sanctuary. It gave her somewhere to collect herself. And as she looked through countless case files, one just as horrific as the next, she felt safe to express her real feelings on it. It gave her the safety to express her initial shock, or horror or disgust or all of the above without anyone there to tell her she was weak. She didn't consider it to be a sign of weakness, after all she was human and had to see all of these images and read the details to with them. However, she was still reluctant to do it in front of the team for some reason. She wasn't ill confident, she wasn't self deprecating or approval seeking. It was just something she tended to keep to herself.

Day in and day out, she dealt with the bombardment that the unit took. She dealt with every single case, chose which were most important, most crucial. She chose which case went to which Agent. She also had to deal with a lot of desperate police authorities, angry families, news hungry reporters and demanding staff. Having the solace of a quiet room that was hers, it was relieving. That was, when she managed to stay in it for 5 minutes!

As JJ began organising some of the paperwork on her desk, collecting together the sheets of paper and photographs, and various objects on it, there was a faint tapping at her door that made her look up. She found that her smile was instantaneous, seeing that one Emily Prentiss was leaning in a little bit through the already ajar door.

It felt like a lifetime ago that she had smiled. A real smile, not a reassuring smile for a family member, or a smile with an underlying threat beneath it that she tended to give reluctant reporters or law enforcement individuals. The smile that basically scared them into doing what they were told! Worked like a charm. But Emily? She never failed to provoke a genuine smile from her.

It had been a gruelling four days, and they had arrived back here around lunch time. After half an hour to get themselves together, they had debriefed and were now free to leave after finishing their reports. She was grateful to have the opportunity to leave early for once.

''Ready to go?''

At the question, and the inquisitive raised eyebrow, JJ nodded distractedly in response as she began to fuss over putting things right on top of her desk.

''I will be in just one second.''

Emily stepped inside the office a little further, still keeping hold of the handle as she smirked. Intense, dark eyes focused on the blonde before them, and a smirk caught her lips as she just watched JJ frown lightly in concentration as she put a couple more things in order before she looked up again, now extremely pleased with herself. Emily didn't even try to hide her amusement mixed with a smouldering intensity that made the younger woman smile shyly, obviously unsure of why she was being stared at like that.

''What?''

The brunette simply shrugged casually, letting the rush of affection she felt flood her eyes. She had often stumbled across moments like this. When she would find JJ doing something so simple, so routine and barely significant. But she liked those moments. The moments that could be unappreciated, or lost, pushed aside for bigger memories. Emily wasn't sure when exactly she had turned into a hopeless romantic, but she figured it was right around the second she had laid eyes on the strikingly beautiful blonde that she had fallen so very hard for.

**''**Nothing. It's just…you're cute when you get all OCD about your desk.''

JJ scoffed almost indignantly, drawing her head back a little as she blushed and brushed some of her hair back into place. The comment was sweet, and the warmth in the tone made her feel appreciated. Emily had a way of doing that. Lacing something onto that distinctively sexy voice of hers. There had been so many times that she had used that talent to say something to JJ, be it when they were around people, on a case or simply when the words were better left unsaid. It was something that she loved dearly about the other Agent. That and a few million other things too.

As JJ switched off her desk lamp, keen to get out of there and start the weekend, she looked back at Emily, portraying a look of disbelief.

''I _so _do not. And I don't have OCD, thank you very much!''

She squeaked playfully, making Emily shake her head lightly again as she chuckled softly. As she was about to reply though, both Derek Morgan and Penelope Garcia caught their attention by appearing in the doorway. Emily was ushered further into the office, giving both of them room to step in. JJ simply looked on with her own amusement now, wondering when her office had gotten so damn popular, as she shrugged on her suit jacket.

**''**Ah, my two favourite lovebirds!''

Garcia gushed sweetly; ceasing the playful looks Morgan and Emily were throwing at each other and making everyone roll their eyes. She took no offence however; she knew they thought she was funny. She had names aplenty for her two best gal pals, ones that she had no hesitations on airing them out loud. In the right company, of course. It was just a very good job that neither JJ or Emily were easily offended!

The offbeat, perhaps slightly insane, computer genius was still immensely proud and honoured that she had been the first person to find out about their relationship. She had seen the signs. Actually, she could have walked in to a few of them, they were that blatant. How anyone else hadn't noticed completely baffled her. For a bunch of elite profilers, they really sucked sometimes. Because JJ and Emily? Obvious from the moment they introduced themselves!

''S'up guys?''

JJ wondered, bringing back some focus between them. Garcia and Morgan had obviously dropped by for a reason, because it wasn't that often they stepped foot in her little domain.

**''**Me and Miss Indiscrete here were wonderin' if you guys were up for a drink tonight? ''

At being called indiscrete, Garcia readily slapped Morgan lightly in his perfectly toned stomach, with a pout across her face that rivalled a five year olds being denied cookies.

**''**Watch your mouth Hunk-o-licious or you don't get any treats tonight.''

Immediately, Morgan held up his hands in defeat, knowing when he was beat. How this woman had managed to wrap him around his finger so fast was seriously beyond him. But Garcia had a way of doing that to everyone. He could honestly say that not one of their team would dare go toe to toe with her and hope to win. Not even Hotchner.

'''Kay woman, simmer. So, what'd you say?''

Morgan ignored the teasing scoffs this two friends threw him for getting reprimanded, instead moving swiftly on to try and make them forget about it. He looked between them hopefully, almost pleadingly. After such a difficult case, he wanted to head out and have some fun. Forget for a while about what they did, and what they had to see and deal with on a daily basis.

**''**You've actually been beaten to the punch; we already have plans with some friends of mine from the good old academy days.''

JJ informed them, picking up her bag and stepping around her desk in an effort to get closer to the door! For a little while, she had thought that she would end up calling her friends, yet again, to cancel their plans. It was hard to make arrangements with people when you didn't even know which part of the country you were going to be in from one day to the next. However, on the way back on the plane, as she had been contemplating cancelling tonight anyway, Emily had insisted they should go. This was the umpteenth time that drinks amongst her friends had been scheduled, and although they understood what JJ's job entailed, it was getting somewhat annoying. Plus, going out and being normal for a night was exactly what they needed. The chance just to be themselves, the chance to act like a couple and just have some fun. So that's what they were going to do.

''Really? Oooh, meeting the friends!''

**''**Nervous?''

Both Garcia and Morgan stared toward Emily, wiggling their eyebrows teasingly and giving her their best expectant and curious looks. It was somewhat discomforting. It was also something that had never actually occurred to her before. Emily had never had the chance to be nervous. After all this time being in a relationship with JJ, she hadn't met any of her friends from the academy. Only a couple from outside the job. But thinking about it, JJ spoke highly of these particular friends. And even though she wasn't going to say it, Emily could tell that her girlfriend desperately wanted them to all get along. Emily opened her mouth to respond, then frowned for a moment as she stopped, before taking in a little breath and opening her mouth again.

''Well I wasn't. Until now.''

She responded honestly, now feeling the creeping pangs of nerves curling around her stomach. She had never had the chance to be nervous before, because they had always had to cancel the plans. Trust the pair of 'friends' to point it out for her. They both laughed, and she was brought out of her momentary daze as Garcia put her hand on her arm, looking up at her reassuringly.

''I'm sure you'll do fine Baby Cakes.''

**''**Yeah, just don't go blowing it by saying something too geeky.''

As soon as the words left Morgan's mouth, Emily's expression turned to that of terror. She could never not say anything geeky. People _always _found out she was a geek. For some reason, the wrong words always came pouring out of her mouth, making people bored or uncomfortable or even annoyed.

''Oh god…''

Rolling her eyes, JJ moved forward, placed her hand on the small of Emily's back and pushed her gently forward as she gestured her friends out of her office in a shooing motion. If she had any hope of controlling the meltdown her lover was probably about to have, she needed to get her out of here right now. No more listening to Morgan and his teasing. Giving her no more time to think about all the various ways tonight could go wrong. Because it wouldn't. She just needed to convince Emily of that.

**''**Thanks guys, I really appreciate that.''

The blonde deadpanned, eyeing her friends with a pointed glare that only made Morgan laugh.

**''**Anytime girl, anytime. How 'bout drinks tomorrow instead? I'll even spring for the first round.''

Emily grunted lightly through her grimace, penetrating brown eyes still reflecting that of terror, obviously now resigned to her fate.

''Sure, why not? I can drown my sorrows after making a pitifully embarrassing impression of myself.''

She mused, almost pitifully. JJ often wondered contrasting Emily's personality could be. One minute she's the cool, confident FBI Agent that is in perfect control of the situation and her emotions. The next, she's shy and gentle, quirky and sweet. JJ didn't think she'd ever forget how clumsy Emily had been on their first date because she had been so ancy and excited. She thought about how sweet she was, particularly in those moments that felt like a private bubble when they would just hide under the bed sheets and talk. The gentle fleeting touches, or kisses. And then there was the awkward, babbling, nerdy side of Emily, which was showing itself now. Thanks to Morgan.

**''**It's going to be fine. _Morgan_, go away!''

She shot the responsible party with a murderous glare, making him hold his hands up for the second time, quickly scooting off before she had a chance to berate him. It wasn't that she was actually mad at him. He knew that. But he had started Emily thinking about being nervous and things that could go wrong ahead of schedule. JJ had fully expected Emily to start freaking out about making a good impression. But she had wanted it to be later. She'd wanted to get home and relax first. Wash away what had happened this past case, and just spend some time with her lover without thinking of anything. Although, a couple of interesting thoughts popped into her head on just exactly how she could get the brunette to stop thinking about disaster scenarios!

It hadn't taken Jennifer Jareau very long to realise that she was attracted to the beautiful, fascinating new profiler when she had first arrived. In all honesty, JJ had only needed the glimpse of the brunette when she had been stood in Hotchner's office to notice just how beautiful she was. But that had been bumped up when she had had chance to actually talk to Emily alone, when she had walked her through procedures and protocols before anyone else had arrived. Immediately, the chemistry was evident. Or at least, to her it was. Back then she had been convinced it was a one sided thing, and Emily was just being friendly. Things had taken a turn however, quite shortly after that. When the looks started. The touches. When they would stand too close together, when tones started saying much more than the words they spoke. Until one night, when they had been the only ones left in the bar the team had gone to, Emily had blurted out the truth of the attraction she was feeling. Not because she was drunk, but because she was excited and scared all at the same time. Excited because of the prospect, and scared in case she had the signals mixed up or that she would be rejected. JJ had quashed those fears immediately though.

She had never expected to have anything like this. After her last relationship failed, JJ had to admit that she had almost given up on them. Her work had completely engulfed her life, giving her just the excuse she needed not to make an effort. The truth had been though, that she longed for someone to spend her life with. She saw her friends starting to settle down. Her siblings were all married, and she had come from a stable household with both her parents still happy and in love. That's the example she had grown up with. So of course, she wanted it. Never in a million years had she expected to have it, or to have it with Emily. That fleeting glance in the office had been just that, a fleeting glance. She had tucked it away in her head as a passing thought. How was she to know that Emily would be back? How was she to know that from that moment onward, she was the build a friendship and a relationship with the older woman?

Coming back into reality, JJ watched as Garcia kissed her fingers and reached out to press them to Emily's nose before trotting off after Morgan, waving goodbye cheerily over her shoulder as she went. The gesture made JJ chuckle, shaking her head once more at the antics of her best friend. In pretty much every respect, JJ counted herself lucky. Despite certain differences and awkwardness, she had a supportive family that understood why she felt the need to get out of their small town. She had some great friends, including the team which had become like a second family. Her best friend was like another sister to her. She had a job that she loved, and despite being harrowing, was satisfying and important. And she had Emily, the woman she loved. The woman she had been able to give her heart to without feeling terrified. The one she had told her darkest secrets to without feeling exposed. And she felt privileged that Emily had been able to do the same. Because despite what people thought or presumed, Emily's life had never been easy.

''When do you think they'll catch on that we know they're together?''

Hotchner posed the question as he stood with Gideon, as they both smiled and waved at Emily and JJ as they walked past the BAU glass doors and toward the elevators. There was a thoughtful tone to his question, musing and speculating. However, there was a hint of hilarity running through it too. The situation was indeed a little laughable. JJ and Emily thought they hadn't noticed, but neither had they noticed the signs at the two superior profilers actually had. It was like an odd form of catch 22!

''Eh, whenever they're ready to notice.''

Gideon responded lightly, flailing a hand dismissively in the air as he did. Secretly, he was actually proud of the two Agents'. For being brave enough to let themselves fall in love. To take that chance. Because in this unit, it was so much easier not to do that. He personally knew a little something about that. He had given everything up for this unit, and he was still uncertain as to whether he thought the price had been too high or not. He wanted to catch killers. He _needed _to catch killers. The question was however, had he needed to give up everything to do it? It was a question that he didn't want any of his younger colleagues to have to ask themselves.

''We'll have to keep our eye on them.''

Hotchner warned, his initial fears springing back up into his mind. He had voiced these of course, when they had first discussed the relationship between the two women. Really, they weren't supposed to let it happen. They were supposed to stop it, and if they couldn't they were supposed to report it. Like they were supposed to report Reid's drug use. But they were a family. And they did what they needed to do to protect that family.

''It was bound to happen Aaron. Finding a loved one at your workplace is the most common.''

Gideon pointed out casually. It wasn't like this was the first office romance. It happened all the time. Feelings were feelings, after all.

''This is no ordinary workplace.''

Hotchner looked at Gideon properly now, reminding him of things he didn't need reminding about. Of course he was right. This was definitely no ordinary workplace. They were put in constant danger. They made life and death decisions almost everyday. Lives depended on them, and if one of them made a mistake, it could result in those lives being lost. Letting personal feelings get in the way was risky. However, Gideon was still less worried about that than the younger unit chief. Hotchner had to think like that. He had to think of the dynamics, the problems that could occur. What if a personal fight was dragged into a case? Or they broke up, how would they work together? What if anything happened to the other? Would they sacrifice an innocent party to save the other? That's the sort of thing he was supposed to worry about. But Gideon? He was free of those restraints. He could look at it from a different angle. And that different angle were the women themselves.

**''**But they're no ordinary women. Have a little faith, will ya?''

Before Hotchner nodded briefly, Gideon swore he caught the edge of a smirk on the serious mans lips before he walked away.

**Washington DC**

**9:15pm**

Regardless of the anxiety she had been feeling earlier, after being introduced to JJ's friends, it hadn't taken very long at all for Emily to feel comfortable around them. And that didn't happen very often. She could be perfectly polite to people, friendly and warm even. She could do that without giving them any suspicion whatsoever that she actually felt uncomfortable, or shielded herself away from them. Call her a cynic, but it wasn't often that she did feel comfortable with them right off the bat or didn't feel the need to blend into the background so she could suss them out first. It was just her nature, and not because she was a profiler. Emily had been honing that particular skill since she was a child. It had come in handy, being the daughter of an Ambassador.

The seven new people she had been introduced to though, didn't make her feel uncomfortable. They were pleasant, smart, funny and welcoming. She could see in them a lot of the same traits that JJ held, which was why she supposed they were friends in the first place. They shared much the same sense of humour, and had a lot in common. They were just as open as JJ was when she was being genuinely open, so instantly Emily knew they had nothing to hide. They were just a bunch of good people, up for having a good time together.

The group were currently occupying a large, round booth in a corner of the bar/club that they had decided on meeting in. It was hidden away, and earned its reputation through word of mouth from the kind of people that liked this kind of place. Somewhere that wasn't a meat market, that you could just sit and relax in, or hit the dance floor. The atmosphere was comfortable and energetic, and it was very easy to relax here. The music being played overhead was funky, with seductive beat but still light enough to keep the happy atmosphere. And the people that came here were laid back, unbothered by any type of couple that they saw.

After a couple of attempts to get dressed, before those particular efforts had been hindered by a certain blonde, Emily had finally reached her goal. Considering where they were going, the brunette had chosen a pair of dark, rather form fitting jeans that she knew for a fact made her girlfriend drool. And deciding to go with that theme, she had picked out a deep red halter top with a rather seductive plunge. Revenge was sweet, after all! Although she couldn't with all honestly say that she wasn't somewhat aware of JJ either, since she had decided to wear a gorgeous but still casual black dress. A dress that let her eyes wonder hungrily, but remained teasing yet promising. So, she had to admit that it was actually JJ that was winning their little cat and mouse game tonight.

Right at this moment though, Emily's full focus was on the animated man across the table from her, who was currently making everyone laugh as he gave her a full blown rendition of a story from JJ's academy days. Mark had everyone around him in stitches, even JJ herself although she was highly embarrassed at having her youthful indiscretions aired out in front of her girlfriend. As Emily eagerly listened to the continuing story, about an apparently infamous party, JJ simply covered her face with her hands, laughing and shaking her head in utter humiliation.

''So there we are, and then suddenly JJ is on top of the table _completely _wasted. And she just starts going wild, I mean _wild_! Strippers wouldn't have a thing on her at this point!''

Mark continued, enthused at everyone's unwavering attention. Even though all put two of them had been at this party, and had seen for themselves an outrageously drunk JJ on top of the table! The memory still made each one of them laugh, especially when they had it replayed back by Mark, who told stories scarily well.

**''**Oh my god…''

JJ's voice was muffled by her hands as she continued to shake her head, now thoroughly embarrassed, especially by Mark's choice of words. She had spent a good portion of the afternoon telling Emily that she had nothing to worry about. That she had no reason to worry about meeting her friends. If only she had realised that _she _had something to worry about Emily meeting her friends! It had been a given, really. Them being them and all. JJ knew she should have expected this. But somehow, she just hadn't thought about it. Wishful thinking she supposed.

As soon as Mark finish his sentence, Emily's head whipped around to stare almost accusingly at the still hiding blonde with shock and gaiety running through her dark eyes.

**''**You stripped?''

JJ's head shot up from her hands immediately as Emily laughed through her stunned demand. Obviously, she was taking great pleasure in finding out these charming little events from her past, and was picturing it happening in her minds eye. JJ knew she would never live this down. But still, she felt the need to defend herself of at least this, so she pointed a finger toward her girlfriend, playfully indignant.

''No!''

Swinging her finger toward Mark now, warningly, as she continued to laugh with everyone else. Despite the humiliation, it was still funny. Cringe worthy maybe, as she remembered her actions at this said party and wondered what the hell she had been thinking. But it was still funny.

**''**You probably would have, if the music hadn't have changed though!''

Mark insisted, seemingly unafraid of her warning. Regaining a little of her composure, if she actually had any left right now, JJ rubbed her forehead before picking up her beer. If this was how the night was going to continue, she seriously needed the alcohol to help her through it!

''I cannot believe you are telling this story.''

Came her muttered objection around the beer glass. Despite that she was centre of attention, and she was having things outed about her to Emily, JJ was completely relaxed. She was definitely glad now that she had taken her girlfriends advice and kept the plan to meet her friends. She hadn't seen them in what felt like ages, and it was nice to just hang out and have a good time. Gone were all thoughts about the case they had just finished with. Or any thought really, about work. She was comfortable here, and it felt good. She didn't need to pretend or think about her responses. She could just loosen up and enjoy sitting against the woman she loved without having to think or worry about it. It was so natural to be close to the brunette now, like that was the way life was supposed to be. Her body tended to seek out Emily's on its own accord.

''He hasn't finished telling it yet.''

One of the woman that was sitting next to Mark sat forward slightly, an evil grin plastered over her pretty face that made JJ widen her eyes immediately.

''Don't. Don't you even think about it!''

Looking curiously at JJ, her interest even more piqued now as her jaw dropped slightly in wonder, Emily saw the flash of pure panic run through expressive blue eyes. That look alone made her turn to Mark and Victoria, eyebrow quirked as she grinned just as evilly.

**''**Oooh, do! I so want to hear the rest of this.''

The enthusiastic, yet slightly devilish tone and request gave Mark all the prompt he needed. Emily though, earned herself a little nudge in protest from the subject of everyone's attention.

**''**Okay, a little later, the parties simmered you know? People are hooking up, passed out, chatting. JJ is nowhere in sight. Still, a couple of the guys try making some toast in the kitchen. Totally burn the toaster, so the fire alarms start ringing. JJ practically _leaps _out of her dorm room, this deer caught in the headlights look in her eyes, wrapped only in a bed sheet. And she's all like 'what's going on, what's going on'.''

Briefly, Mark looked at Victoria, silently giving her the cue to continue. The light brown haired woman chuckled as she leaned forward a little more, making sure she was in earshot of everyone, but especially Emily.

**''**_Then _one of our trainers virtually falls out of the room behind her, also clad in nothing but a bed sheet. A certain female trainer, no less.''

Before Victoria had even finished the end of the story, JJ had buried her head in her hands again, thoroughly ashamed! She could not believe, out of all the stories they had chosen to embarrass her by, it had been that one. It was so typical of them.

**''**I hate each and every one of you!''

She muttered humorously through her barrier, as Emily looked at her again with that same stunned expression. Tonight was seriously working in her favour, as it turned out. Not only had she been introduced to a lot of really cool people, but she was getting some rather quality ammo on her girlfriend too. It seemed that she was gaining ground on the beautiful blonde beside her, who looked rather adorable in her humiliated state. Of course, she was well aware of just how un-innocent JJ was. People could expect JJ to be the perfect, All American good girl. With her smooth looks, blue eyes and golden hair, and all around pleasant nature and smart intellect. But there was a lot going on beneath all of that. It was her shield, that she used constantly because of their work. It helped her to deal with everyone she came across, including the vultures that hounded her for exclusives. However, JJ was somewhat less than innocent or shy!

''You _slept _with an FBI trainer?''

Emily didn't know why she was so shocked, really. JJ had never lacked passion, she was voracious. Raw and intense. A stark contrast to how she was now, nodding as she still hid behind her hands. It wasn't all that often that it was called out in front of people.

''That was the night us guys knew we'd never score with Jennifer Jareau!''

Another man, Steve, voiced, making JJ look up and point at him in objection. He had been sitting back, letting his friends do the talking, just happy to enjoy the hilarious memories from their training days. It had been quite the ride, that was for sure.

**''**Oh that's _so _not true. You never scored with me because we were all too close as friends. Not because I don't date guys.''

Steve nodded in agreement, holding up his hands in defeat. It was quite true, after all. Their group had formed almost instantly, since they had gravitated toward one another due to similar quirks and tastes. Their friendship had been set in stone almost. It had been one of those unique times when everyone knew they were still going to be friends in years to come. Obviously, things hadn't been perfect along those years, but they had managed to survive.

''It's true; you're not a very fussy dater.''

Steve teased lightly, getting an offended grunt from his blonde friend. JJ reminded him a lot of his sister, which was why he always had a spot of brotherly affection for her. He doubted that even given the chance he would date her because of that.

**''**I'm _too_ much of a fussy dater. Just not when it comes to gender!''

Satisfied with her defense, JJ lifted up her beer again and took another drink. The lull in the conversation gave everyone the opportunity to calm down a little, and regain themselves from laughing so hard. Silently, now thinking of her currently relationship status, JJ slipped her free hand under the table to rest on Emily's thigh as she leaned into her a little more affectionately. She smiled as Emily did, letting her girlfriend take her hand and entwine their fingers together.

''So, Emily. You're pretty lucky then, getting through JJ's vigorous screenings.''

The third man, Cole, asked lightly seeing the intimate, loving look that passed between them as they looked at one another. They had that knowing sparkle in their eyes, and as he thought about it, he had never actually seen JJ look so happy. There was something about her eyes, her whole demeanour even, that spoke volumes about how she was feeling. And all of it was connected to the woman beside her. He was sure he could speak for everyone when he thought about how glad he was to see that. Relieved even. Because they of course, were the ones that had seen their friend go through a gut wrenching break up and bury herself in work for solace. It wasn't as though she needed someone to save her, or complete her, but she did need someone. And Emily seemed to be perfect. He could tell everyone liked her, it was hard not to. She was different, that much was obvious. He didn't need to watch them look at one another, sharing a look that obviously carried their own little language through it as Emily considered her answer.

''Yeah, I think I'm pretty lucky.''

Emily didn't break the connection she had with JJ's eyes, unable and unwilling to break it. She did feel pretty lucky. Just like JJ had never expected this, she hadn't either. If someone had told her that she would find, as clichéd as it sounded, her soul mate in the BAU before she had joined it, she would have laughed in their face. It wasn't as though she didn't believe in it; she just never thought she would find hers. That all consuming, unconditional love that people talked about? She had honestly thought it would forever evade her. She had waited an awfully long time to find someone as amazing as JJ. Someone she could share herself with, without needing to hide. Because that was what she had done all her life. But JJ made her feel like she could do or say anything. When she looked at her, she really saw her. She respected her. So yeah, Emily thought she was a little more than lucky. And she was also happy to accept the kiss that the blonde leaned in for.

**''**Okay, I am going to the bar for another couple of pitchers. Who's helping me?''

Cole asked lightly, promptly getting a raised hand from Victoria.

**''**I'll give you a hand.''

The pair slipped out of the booth, leaving Steve and Mark as well as the three other women that were with them too. Clair and Molly were both part of the initial 'gang' from the academy, but Sarah had been around long enough to have been fully initiated into it. She wasn't an FBI Agent like everyone else, but like Emily, she had fallen for one, Molly. It was definitely an interesting group.

''Hey, do you wanna dance?''

Reluctantly, JJ pulled away from Emily's mouth, curiosity getting the better of her. Stood at the opening of the booth stood a young man with bright yellow hair and a very distinctive dress sense. He looked at Steve confidently, expecting the older man to accept his invitation like he hadn't even considered being turned down. That confident only got a little stronger when Steve shrugged lightly and nodded.

''Sure, why not?''

Everyone at the table gawked at him as he started to down the rest of his drink, signalling to the good looking guy that he would join him in a second. He didn't even realise that everyone was staring at him in disbelief until Molly flailed.

'_'__Steve_!''

Giving them a far too guiltily innocent look as he started to stand up, Steve once again shrugged casually.

''What?''

**''**You are _not _seriously gunna dance with that guy?''

Clair demanded, pointing out in the general direction of the dance floor.

**''**Sure I am.''

At the response, one that almost mocked them for not understanding the simplicity of the concept, JJ flailed a hand at him too.

''You're not gay!''

She only got a cheeky smile in response, as he started to edge away from the table.

''Well an offer to dance is an offer to dance!''

The table erupted into laughter again, as they watched him strut away happily. Steve really didn't have any reservations. He wasn't the type of guy that worried about how he was perceived, and didn't feel threatened by gay men. He just didn't give a damn. Which was why JJ thought she should just have expected such a response, but she shook her head at his antics anyway.

''Unbelievable! Hey, is there anything I should know about? You know, between Cole and Victoria?''

Quickly, as the thought popped into her head, JJ let the question roll out of her mouth to hopefully get her suspicions denied or confirmed whilst said people were at the bar. She had noticed a change between them, and frankly, she was crossing her fingers for it. Because it had been a long, long time coming. The problem was, Cole and Victoria weren't the sort of people to be rushed into anything. They had to figure it out for themselves, and think over whether to act or not. If she had tried to meddle, it would have backfired.

''Obvious, isn't it? They think they're being stealthy, but they're not! Probably making out at the bar right now.''

Clair responded giddily, making JJ lean out of the booth to look over to the bar. She laughed lightly, pulling herself back as she nodded and pointed behind her with her thumb, clearly amused.

**''**Oh my god they _are_!''

She confirmed, wondering when her friends had gotten so sloppy at cover up operations. Really, making out at the bar? It was just asking to be caught. She definitely had to start teasing and hinting things toward them when they came back, see how much she could get them to squirm before they caved.

''More beer Emily?''

Mark held up the almost empty pitcher that they had left at the table, having already topped up everyone else's glasses without asking. He had known them far too long to need to ask if they wanted more beer! Emily though, he obviously didn't know so well. And he didn't want to make it seem like she had to drink more if she didn't want to.

''Oh yes!''

Pushing her glass forward eagerly, Mark just smiled, the faint worry now evaporating into nothing.

**''**Heavy drinker, I like it!''

JJ snickered playfully, nudging Emily as she gestured toward her knowingly.

**''**Yeah, she's only drinking this much 'cos she has to go to lunch with her Mother tomorrow. And tell her about me.''

She announced, gaining a chorus of 'ooohs' from her friends. Emily had first told her of her intention a couple of weeks ago. One night when they had been sprawled over her couch, drinking some wine after a rather pleasant dinner. It had surprised JJ, because she knew how hesitant and even scared Emily had been of telling her Mother that her only daughter's preferences didn't exactly match up with her expectations. Emily's feelings over her relationship with her Mother were…complicated, to say the least. There was always something that seemed to be missing, was the impressed that JJ got from her girlfriends descriptions. She could see how torn Emily was between hopelessly loving her Mother, and resenting her. It was obvious that she just couldn't muster up enough resentment to hate her. Despite herself, Emily always seemed to hope in vain that something would change. JJ wished she could do something to help, because she hated seeing her like that. She wanted to take away the pain and discomfort that her girlfriend felt when it came to the subject of Ambassador Prentiss.

''That's not a good thing, I take it?''

Emily grimaced at Clair's given question, thinking of just how big of an understatement that was.

**''**Well, I might take my gun with me. For protection!''

Emily was met with a round of winces, as JJ rubbed her back supportively and leant into her again. Before she even got the chance to start, Emily decided to not think about it. She didn't want to start worrying or thinking about what could happen tomorrow right now. She had been having far too much fun, and as they said, the night was still young. So, turning to JJ a little so her mouth came close to the blonde's ear, she decided to do that the best way she knew how.

''Hey, you feel like showing those youngsters out there how it's done?''

That, and she just really wanted to dance with JJ. She pointed out to the dance floor, in indication of what she meant, and was instantly met with an eager nod.

''I certainly do.''

Emily smiled softly, eyes glistening as she let JJ take hold of her hand and lead her out of the booth and onto the dance floor. There was something almost euphoric about dancing with the blonde in front of her. Emily had always loved dancing as it was. There was something about getting lost in a beat and letting your body move as it needed to that was extremely therapeutic. But coupled with doing it with JJ? She hit a verbal wall, unable to really define the feeling.

The couple moved easily together, comfortable in their closeness and embrace. They swayed and weaved in time to the music, adjusting accordingly to whatever beat came their way. The undercurrents guided them both smoothly, bodies totally in tune with the rhythm. Hips moved fluidly, setting the movements for entire bodies. They were like cats, perfectly attuned with their bodies. Hyper aware of the effects they were causing on one another, each movement a tease and a promise at the same time. Sometimes they moved quickly, toying with one another with the faster beats. With the slower ones they did just that, moved slower together. Almost grinding at tips. So very torturously slow that they bit their lips to try and keep some semblance of control. The bond they shared, the connection, rooted in their friendship and their lover for one another, was evident in their eyes. Eyes that only looked apart when they had to. Or when they fell into intense, overwhelming kisses. Mouth devouring mouth hungrily.

When they had finally come back to themselves, realising that they actually weren't the only two people left on earth, the couple headed back to the booth. Again, the group had fallen onto easy conversation, and had been content also in talking in smaller numbers too. Emily had fielded a lot of questions about herself, of course. She was after all the newest person here. And JJ's friends had to go through the ritual interrogation that friends did to make sure someone was good enough. JJ had pointedly started asking Victoria and Cole questions about their love lives, which had been fun. Watching two usually skilled people struggle and squirm had been hilarious. And of course, ultimately, they had broken. All in all, JJ had been rather pleased with herself and hadn't mind being smug about it. It had been a great night, in the end.

Now, a little drunk and extremely amorous, the perfectly contrasting blonde and brunette stumbled through Emily's front door. If they had been able to keep their hands from roaming each other, or stop their mouths from exploring each others heatedly, they might have made it across the threshold with some decorum intact. However, short of world apocalypse, and possibly not even then, that was never going to happen. The craving for one another was far too strong, now in total control.

After the set of keys and their respective bags were dropped to the floor haphazardly, JJ kicked the door shut before pinning her lover up against the wall, satisfied by the small but noticeable grunt. The action caused Emily to pull her mouth apart from JJ's, the need for air now overriding the need to kiss her. And as she dragged the air into her lungs, she let her head drop back slightly, giving JJ the access she wanted to kiss and nip along her neck.

''I really liked your friends.''

The brunette panted, letting her hands wonder down the length of JJ's back until she reached the small of it, and pulled her closer, longing for more contact. She needed to feel her weight, her warmth. There was a small murmur from the blonde, who was obviously reluctant to cease her ministrations.

''Ah ha.''

Lifting up her head, JJ coaxed Emily into another consuming kiss, making their tongues duel for dominance, as she let her hands slip down an oh so perfectly toned body so she could tackle the problem of the brunette's belt. Before she reached her objective however, Emily managed to turn them around quickly, pinning her up against the wall before leaning into her.

JJ's hooded, desire coloured eyes just watched Emily's as she let her hand wonder down her leg, inching back up under her skirt. Automatically, JJ bent her knee, foot flat against the wall to prop it there, and groaned a little and bit her lip as Emily raked her fingernails along the inside of her thigh torturously.

**''**We should meet up with them more often.''

Emily was the one to entice JJ into a kiss this time, though every time she got near her mouth she pulled away a little bit, mischievously. She couldn't help but smile as JJ sighed sharply, and felt a hand wrap around the back of her neck to pull her in properly. There was a distinct pleasure in being able to wind the blonde squirming beneath her up; Emily loved working her up until she had her exactly where she wanted her. She could never help but anticipate exploring soft, toned honeycomb skin. Skin that she had explored perhaps a thousand times before, but never ceased to amaze her. Emily knew everything, remembered everything, about the body beneath hers. The way JJ tasted, and what she felt like inside. She knew the sounds she made, how she moved, writhed, below her. And she knew what it was like on the other side, when it was JJ that was taking her time to make her writhe and moan.

Now though, JJ took the control from her again. Hands slid down her body, eliciting a shiver from the brunette, before winding her fingers beneath the hem of the halter top. Gripping the offending material, the blonde quickly peeled it off of her lover, pleased that Emily moved to aid in the process. Once it was off, JJ tossed it recklessly into the shadows. But instead of moving in to kiss her girlfriend again, she pinned her with a pointed look as her hands smoothed over the pale skin of her abdomen, making the muscles there flinch and twitch expectantly.

''Baby, I _really_ don't wanna talk about my friends right now.''

That was all Emily really needed to hear. It was also the end of any real conversation, as they stumbled up the stairs and into the bedroom.


	3. The Courage Of Convictions

**3) The Courage Of Convictions.**

''_Things never go so well that one should __have no fear, and never so ill that one __should have no hope.''_

Turkish Proverb

**New Jersey**

**Wednesday**

**11:20pm**

''You all set?''

Hotchner enquired, sensing the finality of the situation out here. There was nothing more to be said. Nothing more to do. Now it was time for JJ to take over the situation. She knew the case inside and out, she knew what to expect, she knew what to do and what she could do. No one could predict what would happen when she walked in there. It was never a certainty. Unsubs lied and manipulated situations. JJ could have been walking right into a trap. Emily could have been dead already, for all they knew. Or, she could walk in there and manage to talk him down somehow. It happened. Negotiations worked a lot of the time. It could in this instance. And if it didn't, he knew JJ wouldn't lack the resolve to finish the situation by force. The only other uncertainty there was, were her feelings. She was stepping into a house where the woman she loved was being held against her will.

''I'm ready.''

Casting a look between her male counterparts, she handed over her cell phone to Morgan as they started to walk her to the edge of the garden. She didn't concentrate on the fact everyone was now watching her, she concentrated on collecting herself. She knew she couldn't go in there without her professional cool. Her emotions were stirring something rotten in the pit of her stomach, and they had been from the moment she had found out Emily had gone missing. Not one had they relented, causing her to feel sick and fraught. But this was the only chance she had to get her back safely. It was hard, but JJ knew she couldn't let her personal feelings get the better of her and make her act unprofessionally, because it would sabotage her chance to get her back.

As they reached the point of no return, where she had to continue on alone, she received four supportive if not glum expressions. They really knew how to inspire confidence in someone. But if they had tried to look at her like this wasn't a possibly grave situation, she would have been annoyed. This was what it was. A last ditch effort to stop a psychopath from adding Emily to his victim list. So it turned out that the solemn looks were actually relieving.

After hitting knuckles with Morgan, his personal way of saying 'I'll see you soon', JJ took out her gun, and accepted the small flashlight that one of the SWAT guys gave her. Without looking back at the men rallied there, she began to advance up the path toward the dark, looming house. Right in these very moments was when she remembered her training instinctively. It never left her. It all came to her automatically, taking control of her movements. It compelled her to secure the space she stepped into slowly, making sure the unsub wasn't lurking in a corner or a shadow. Her guns aim became her focus point, and she didn't move without it being trained on her intended direction first. Underneath her gun hand, she held the torch firmly, pointing it forward in the same way so that she could see.

JJ could feel the adrenaline pumping through her, making her hyper aware of everything. The chill of the air that stroked along her cheeks and bare arms. The close, putrid smell

that knitted through the house, telling her it hadn't been cleaned for quite some time. The metallic smell of blood that made an unsavoury taste in her mouth and struck a distinct note of fear and panic in her stomach. She listened to the stillness of the air, differentiating between the floorboards that creaked under her own feet from any other sound that could indicate she was being approached. Her eyes narrowed, carefully scrutinising everything that the light from her torch hit, and the shadows outside of it. Naturally, she kept her own breathing low and rhythmic, as she inched forward into the house, not wanting to give away her position by making any loud noises.

Stepping into the living room, which was shrouded in as much darkness as had found the entrance of the house, JJ now saw a soft glow of light seeping through a door toward the back of the room that was slightly ajar. Her eyes readjusted quickly, after her preliminary sweep of the room, and she began to move toward it, somehow knowing that was where she needed to be.

''Miller Anderson?''

Her heightened hearing picked up a shuffling noise from behind that door as she called out into the silence. Her heart began to thump harder against her chest, anticipating what was to come. He was in there. He was in there with Emily. And the thought caused her to brace herself. For what she was about to see. And to keep her emotions in tact, to remain professional, for Emily's sake.

''Who's that?''

The voice scraped along the air, scraggily and uneven. Actually, to its audacity, it even held a trace of panic and fear. He was keeping an FBI Agent hostage, and _he_ was scared?

''This is Special Agent Jennifer Jareau. You asked for me.''

Coming to a halt just outside of the door now, JJ stopped thinking about how much she hated Miller Anderson, and started thinking about what she needed to do. She kept her voice even, neutral, remembering what Gideon said. She needed to develop some kind of trust with this guy. So she waited, listening intently to the brief silence that followed, knowing that she couldn't just walk in without being told she could and invade his space.

''Are you alone?''

The scraggy voice demanded.

''Yes Sir.''

''Okay. But if you're lying to me, I will blow this chick's head off.''

Gripping her gun tightly, JJ let out a slow breath and closed her eyes, really having to force herself from doing something stupid.

''Steady Mr Anderson, I'm entering the room.''

Not giving herself the time to stop and think, JJ slowly pushed the door open, sliding just as slowly into the small room. What she supposed could be used as some kind of little office or dining room, or maybe a utilities room. Whatever. It didn't much matter right now. The house, its rooms, none of it mattered. Only the people bathed in the eerily soft glow of the side lamp standing in the corner of the room mattered.

Again on autopilot, JJ's training kicked in, and immediately she scanned her surroundings quickly but efficiently. To the side, there was an old, rickety table. On top of it was a cell phone, and the portable phone that had obviously been thrown into the house earlier so Gideon could talk to Anderson. It didn't escape her notice that shoved almost to the back of the table rested Emily's credentials, her weapon and her jacket. Things he had taken from her, stripped from her. He didn't know that inside that leather wallet, beneath the credentials inside it, was a picture of Emily and herself. A shot taken at a party at Garcia's apartment. Emily liked carrying that around with her, she liked knowing it was there. And it was a very literal symbol that behind her job she had someone that loved her. He didn't know that. Or that the jacket was her favourite one.

Emily herself, sat motionless on the only chair in the room, gagged at the mouth. There was an unnatural slump to her posture, and she was pale. Paler than JJ had ever seen her before. And she looked like she had been wet recently, and only just drying out. The glittering sheen of water on the stony, uncarpeted floor attested that apparently, that's how Anderson had wanted it. No wonder she was pale, it was freezing in here. Being kept cold and wet for even 24 hours did horrible things to you. It weakened you. 24 hours could be a very long time, and Miller Anderson had used that time well, it seemed.

Emily was covered, from what JJ could see of her, in cuts and bruises. There was a cut hidden somewhere in the hairline of her forehead that was bad enough to have oozed bright red blood, which had dripped down along the side of her face. Her right arm looked extremely swollen and slightly out of line, which made JJ automatically believe it was broken, whilst there was a wound in her left shoulder that looked similar to that which a knife left. Blood had set into her shirt around it. This was not how Emily Prentiss was supposed to be. It just didn't fit properly inside of JJ's head.

For some reason, pictures started to pop up into JJ's mind, as her widened eyes just stared at her girlfriend in her current state. Pictures of Emily laughing easily as Morgan would tease Reid about something. Or the look she got when she drank too much coffee too fast while trying to get out of the door on time so she wasn't late for work. The concentration that washed over her eyes when she watched or read something that compelled her, that made her bite her bottom lip softly. The look of pure irritation she got when she was pissed off, even when directed at JJ herself. How she looked in a ridiculously expensive evening gown when attending some event or another. The stupid dances she would do whilst cooking or taking a shower, and add the unbelievably off tune singing she would come out with in the latter. This? Right now? It didn't fit. And neither did the scruffy looking man standing behind her, gun pressing into her head threateningly.

''Are you wired?''

Swallowing, hard, JJ shook her head as she looked directly at him now. He twitched and flinched, seemingly unable to remain totally still. He was scruffy, but not enough so that he particularly stood out. She supposed that was one of the reasons he had been so difficult to find. Somehow, even in a devolving state, Miller Anderson managed to blend in.

''No, I'm not. It's just us in here.''

Her voice was much calmer than what was going on inside, but right now she was just thankful she was well practiced in feeling one thing and showing another. Clicking the torch off now it wasn't needed; she kept her gun trained on him and her eyes observant of any movement he could make, but also of Emily too. She could tell he believed her, after a second or too of a weary look, he finally relented and nodded.

''Good. Now we can talk about this bitch they sent after me.''

**Washington DC**

**Saturday**

**7:30am**

She loved her job, honestly she did. But sometimes, that shrill sound of her phone that she swore could pierce through anything, made her want to scream. It wasn't the delightfully soft and warm feeling she felt from being wrapped up in the bed sheet or Emily's limbs that made her surface from an unusually restful slumber. It was that damn phone. Incessant and demanding. It was the sound that made both of them, albeit reluctantly, begin to stir.

Groaning lightly, Emily made a sleepy, rather uncoordinated effort to untangle herself from her girlfriend, immediately missing the contact as she did. She shifted and rolled away, giving JJ the freedom to roll onto her side to reach out and grab the offending item from the nightstand. She didn't even need to look at the phone to answer it, and instead rubbed her eyes in order to wake up a little more.

''Hello?''

Blinking rapidly, a small crease of a frown worked its way across smooth forehead, before she propped herself up onto her elbows.

''Yes, this is Agent Jareau. Its okay Sir, what can I do for you?''

Emily, now lying on her back, glanced over at the clock before she sighed and ran a hand through her hair. She had almost managed to forget where she worked since last night. Almost managed to forget that they were pretty much always on call. Always expected to be ready to jump into action. They had been called in plenty of times at odd and unpleasant hours before. And she didn't mind that, honestly she didn't. Emily had worked extremely hard to be where she was, and she couldn't even think of not being in the BAU. But it didn't mean she had to like it all of the time. She had a life too. A pretty good one, that she deserved to live sometimes. That JJ deserved to live. But, that was the sacrifice they'd made to catch serial killers. Still, she reserved the right to be grumpy.

''I understand that Sir, but I do really need you to have the files sent to my office. Yes Sir. It does, and I completely sympathise, but I can't do anything without those files first. Yes Sir. I promise I will look at them first thing on Monday morning. Okay. You too Sir. Bye.''

Diplomatically yet firmly and effectively JJ managed to end the phone call quickly and let herself drop back onto the bed. It wasn't that she was actively trying to fob the man on the phone off, as he reeled off details and practically begged her for her help. She just really couldn't _do _anything until he had done what she had told his colleague yesterday. There was simply nothing she could do about it until then. So there was really no point in spending a great amount of time with him on the phone now, at 7:30 in the morning. Still, his tone stuck with her and she felt kind of bad that she couldn't give him any real relief.

''Desperate Detective?''

Emily wondered lightly, rolling back around so that she rested on her side, now able to look down on the blonde. Her grouchiness had faded the moment she saw the haunted look in JJ's eyes. She saw every single case, dealt with each and every one. She dealt

with the people that the rest of the team didn't really have to. Listened to the pleading requests for help, and had to act accordingly. It took an inordinate amount of strength, and Emily respected JJ greatly for having that strength. She didn't think she could do as well in her position. Still, she also knew that it hit a hard note inside of JJ when she couldn't do anything much to help other than to promise she would look at a file.

''Desperate Police Chief. Practically begged me to come to New Jersey.''

Switching her powerful gaze from the ceiling and onto Emily, JJ drew solace from intense dark eyes, even though the older woman grimaced a little bit.

''Is it bad?''

The soft grimace became a full blown cringe as JJ sighed heavily and nodded.

''It sounds bad enough. I promised him I'd look at it Monday and I will. But until then, we're not talking about it.''

Not needing to be told a second time, sharing JJ's desire to leave work until Monday, Emily leaned down and drew her into a soft, languid kiss. Gradually, her hand snaked along on top of the sheet, halting on the blonde's stomach and resting there comfortably.

The moment felt timeless. As though they were cocooned safely in their own little bubble, surrounded by a loving and sleepy atmosphere. A stark contrast as to how the same atmosphere had danced along with them last night. There was no rush or urgency, just a soft and lazy comfortableness. One of the in between moments that both of the woman valued so much. Because really, it was the in between moments that often counted the most in life. They were doing absolutely nothing important or productive, just laying here in bed. But it didn't matter. Because what it was to them was what counted. Both showing and feeling their love, their respect and warmth, that was important. It was what sustained their relationship when they didn't have a chance to stop and really show it when they were working. It was what reminded them why they did what they did, and also that not all hope was lost. They would think on these moments, and be able to continue on.

''I love you.''

Even though Emily whispered it, after pulling away just enough and moving closer to JJ's ear in order to do so, it still felt like the loudest thing anyone had ever said to the blonde. It always did. Always resonated and echoed through her. It was another one of those magic things Emily could do with her voice. Lace behind it so much more than words could ever portray. Because really, anyone could _say _they loved you. They could tell you that, the words blinding you from the real lack of truth behind them. Like Billy Jenkins had, her first 'serious' relationship back in school. It had taken quite some time to figure out that he was lying to her, and that he didn't exchange his 'love' only with her. That's how she had been able to tell after that, if people were telling the truth. If they sounded anything like him, she knew there were lying. And although JJ knew she had been loved before, no one came as close to how powerfully Emily loved her. Or how powerfully she loved her back.

Gently, JJ took the brunette's face in her hands, pulling her back just enough so that they could look at one another properly. And immediately as she locked eyes with those fiery dark ones, her insides almost melted. All this time, all the times Emily had looked at her like that, and she still got blown away by it.

''I love _you_. And that's why I want you to know that you don't have to do this today. You don't have to tell your Mother anything. Not if you don't want to. I'd understand.''

And she would. She wasn't one of these people that demanded their partner to tell their family, no matter what. JJ was highly aware of what this particular bombshell could do to Emily and Ambassador Prentiss's already rocky relationship. She knew that when it came to her Mother, Emily tended to revert back to feeling like an insecure child. Desperately wanting to obtain something resembling the picture perfect Mother/daughter relationship, but also knowing it was never going to happen. And that hurt her. As much as Emily tried not to show it, JJ knew that it did. Not everyone was as lucky as she was, to get along with their family. Sure she was different from them, and that threw up a little awkwardness, but at the end of the day JJ knew her Mother loved her. Knew she only wanted the best for her, and to be happy. Emily didn't have that. And that's why she by no means ever expected her to tell her Mother. It was more than likely to antagonise the relationship, and she didn't want to hurt Emily like that. Nor did she want her to think that she expected her to do it.

''I know you'd understand Jennifer, but I'm still going to tell her. I want to tell her.''

Brushing back a strand of sunshine coloured hair, Emily thought about JJ's words. She could see very clearly, every thought through piercing blue eyes. The truth was, she had thought about this for a long time. So she had thought about it in every which way she could. The downfalls, the bonuses. Not that she expected many bonuses, other than being able to tell the truth and not have to hide what she considered the best thing in her life anymore. Emily seriously doubted anything other than a huge argument about it. She expected to have to defend herself, JJ and the relationship. She actually expected a lot worse, but if she started thinking about that right now, there was no guarantee that she would leave the apartment to accomplish said plan. And it was something she desperately wanted to do.

''Won't it add to an already strained relationship?''

Continuing the stroking motion through JJ's hair, Emily nodded and winced ever so softly. 'Strained' was somewhat of a softer word than she herself would have chosen to describe her relationship with her Mother. In fact, Emily often mused on how little she knew the woman. The great Ambassador Elizabeth Prentiss. Her childhood hand been spent with her nanny, and various caretakers around the many houses she had grown up in. There was always work or networking to be done that took her Mother away. Her Father too. Not that she particularly cared about him anyway. It was her Mother she had always longed for. Emily knew she had no real idea what would happen today, because she didn't know her Mother well enough. She just expected the worse, because it had become habit. And she didn't see it being particularly acceptable that the only daughter of such a highly renowned woman to be dating another woman. She _was _a Prentiss after all.

But mixed in with all of that, glimmered a tiny bit of hope. As it did every time she expected 'this time' to be different. How it remained in the awesome face of countless amounts of disappointments, she wasn't sure.

Blinking lightly, to come back into reality, she looked back at JJ again who was patiently waiting for her to resurface. Looking at the woman she loved suddenly made all of those fears and doubts go away. There was no way she wasn't going to do this. She had to. Despite the more than likely pain she would suffer from it, she wanted to do it anyway.

''Probably. But JJ, I don't want you to be a secret. You're not some dirty little fling, we're not joking around here. I need her to know that. I'd like her to see it.''

It was a lot more than only wanting her Mother to see how important this was to her. To see how happy she was, and in return be happy for her. It was a lot more than trying to

reach out to her by telling her the truth. It was JJ too. She said exactly what she thought, they weren't joking around. This wasn't some fling they were having. It was real, and they both knew it. And personally, Emily was getting a little tired of hiding it. Sure, Garcia, Morgan and Reid knew. Along with some outside friends, like JJ's last night. But they didn't get to see them very often, so it could feel like no one knew. JJ's family knew, but they were all back in Pennsylvania, in the little down she had 'escaped' from. Recently, Emily had started to feel like it wasn't enough. And she didn't want JJ to think she was too scared, or wanted to hide it. To her, this was the exact next step she needed to take. To punctuate her feelings, and because she simply couldn't resist anyway, she leaned down to place another light kiss on JJ's lips.

''Okay. I'll be here, whatever happens.''

Seeing the resolve in Emily's eyes, and secretly feeling rather happy about it, JJ accepted her decision. It was an indescribable feeling, being put first like that. JJ knew that Emily would happily jump in front of a bullet for her, automatically put her behind her when entering a dangerous situation, and back her up protectively when it came to overbearing reporters, family members or local authority members. Even though Emily knew she didn't need to protect her, it was still instinct to do it. But this? She didn't have to do but she was willing to. And this meant the most to JJ, because she knew it was harder for Emily to do, and it could result in a lot more pain. She had never made to feel as special as Emily made her feel.

''I know.''

''Are you scared?''

Emily scoffed, smirking lightly as she nodded and rolled her eyes a little bit.

''I am _terrified_!''

Behind the joke hid the truth, so JJ decided to alleviate that the best way she knew how. She slid her hand behind Emily's head, and pulled her down to draw her into another kiss. Nothing particularly heavy, but not as light and quick as the last one either. Just slow and languid, deep enough to convey the meaning behind it. And she knew that the brunette understood by the way she responded instantly. The touches and the looks, the feelings behind words, they weren't the only way they communicated without speaking.

''How about you stay right here, and I'll go make us some breakfast?''

Finally, when their mouths parted so they were able to draw in air, JJ did speak. She tucked a strand of dark silk behind Emily's ear, quirking her eyebrow expectantly as she made her offer. Emily simply raised an interested eyebrow, her look nothing but playful and seductive.

''Breakfast in bed? What'd I do to deserve that?''

It came out as a low purr, one that made JJ shiver instinctively. However, she didn't lose the meaning she was supposed to be portraying. She wasn't going to let Emily divert her from her plan, simply because she never really believed she deserved anything she did for her.

''You just…you really know how to make a girl feel special.''

Although her tone was light, her meaning was heavily pointed. JJ was glad that Emily smiled, rather than trying to get out of the compliment like she sometimes did. She was

glad that it seemed to register that JJ valued greatly what Emily was doing, why she was doing it, even at the risk of personal pain. She placed another kiss on her girlfriend's lips, before rolling away and getting out of bed, intending to make good on her promise of breakfast.

For once, Emily actually stayed in bed while JJ made their breakfast. Together, they relaxed for a little while, chatting over the low volume of the television they had switched on. JJ told Emily a little more about the friends they had met last night, and what she thought about their first introduction. And of course, Emily had immediately picked up on the chance to tease her girlfriend over new found information!

After eating, and having let her breakfast go down properly and getting dressed, JJ set out to go for a run. She smiled as she set off, music blaring in her ears and the thoughts of a certain brunette that had barely let her get out of the apartment in her head. By the time she had completed her intended time and distance, and gotten back to the apartment, Emily was standing in the kitchen finishing a glass of orange juice. Judging from the fact she was now dressed and holding her car keys in her hand, JJ got the impression it was time for her to set off.

''Well, this is it. Wish me luck?''

After setting the glass down in the sink, Emily ran a hand through her hair before she brushed some imaginary lint off of her shirt. Without even knowing it, the usually confident Agent bit her bottom lip slowly, dark eyes gazing across the space with an almost pleading look. Her body language had already tensed up, and she hadn't even arrived at her Mother's house yet. She looked awkward and doubtful, and had that air of skittishness about her that always seemed to surface especially for the Ambassador. The small sigh that escaped her told of her belief that she didn't think she was presented well, even though she was dressed impeccably and looked absolutely beautiful and flawless. But then, Elizabeth Prentiss could be a harsh judge that often found fantastically inventive ways to strip her daughter of her confidence.

Walking forward, still panting from her run, JJ wrapped her arms around her girlfriend to draw her into a tight hug. She smelt so clean and fresh, and the perfume she wore didn't take away her natural, delightful fragrance that always comforted JJ.

''Good luck baby.''

Emily pulled back only to move forward again, pulling JJ into a deep, intense kiss that she really needed before she embarked on her mission.

''Thanks. I'll call you later, okay?''

Reluctantly pulling away, Emily rustled up that resolve she had felt before, resisting the urge to just stay here and strip JJ of the Yale sweater she so often tried to 'liberate' so that she could 'help' her shower. But instead, she picked up her bag and adopted the amount of seriousness she needed to go through with this. She was doing this for them. It needed to happen; she couldn't hide from her Mother forever. And hopefully, it would stop all the set up attempts for all the lovely (actually arrogant) young men from respectable (elitist) families that could offer her a better life (make dependant and barefoot at the kitchen) than working for the FBI. That would also be a bonus.

'''Kay. I love you Emily.''

Looking back, Emily just smiled that knowing smile, and then stepped out of the apartment.

**New Jersey **

**Wednesday**

**11:20pm**

Once again, JJ looked at Emily, worried about how dishevelled she looked. She was absolutely sure that there had to be more injuries that she couldn't see. And even though she couldn't see all of them, the brunette still looked like she had gone for a few rounds in the boxing ring. It was obvious that she was in pain, despite being very much out of it. JJ thought Emily must have known she was in there, because she kept trying to lift her head up long enough to focus, but kept failing miserably. It gave JJ the opportunity to see her eyes though. And the normally sparkling orbs that she loved so much were now dull and hazy, giving her a clue to just how weak Emily herself was. Because no matter how Emily got hurt, her eyes were always the last to go.

''She works with _them_, doesn't she?''

Anderson shattered to momentary silence, making JJ flinch ever so lightly and then look back up at him. He looked angry, the disgust in his voice not being hidden one bit as he referred to his captive.

''No. Mr Anderson she isn't a police officer.''

JJ responded immediately, reluctant to miss a beat. If she looked like she was hesitating, he could interoperate it as her hiding something. The last thing she needed was for him to start freaking out and not disbelieving her. With a gun pointed at Emily's head, she couldn't make one false move.

''You're lying.''

''I'm not. Listen to me, please. She's FBI, just like me. Special Agent Emily Prentiss.''

He looked confused, his overwhelmed, chaotic ridden grey eyes obviously whirling with thought. Like he was thinking back, like you did when you recognised something. Like he was trying to place Emily's name somewhere, because he had heard it before. And he had heard it before; JJ knew that for a fact. She had made sure of it. But he was scattered right now, both scared and angry, and clearly continuing his spiral in devolution. Just like Gideon had told her. She had to be careful. She had to out think him. Especially now, as he looked between herself and Emily, tightening his grip on the gun he pointed at her, a new resolute look washing over him.

''I saw her with Dolton. She's in on it, I know it.''

As she shook her head, noticing that Anderson had tightened his grip, she did the same. Her gun was still trained on him, her arm and hand steady in their conviction. She was a good shot. Actually, she was a brilliant shot. If she wanted to, JJ knew she could fire and hit her intended target without worrying she would hit Emily in the process. But still, she didn't want to take the chance that something would go wrong. So she waited.

''I know what they did, Mr Anderson.''

''What?''

Gaining his full attention with her new tactic, JJ took full advantage of it. As he lost some of his concentration, his gun hand wavering slightly so the barrel dropped slightly from the merciless aim at her lovers head, the blonde inched forward ever so slightly, stopping after a second as to not be caught.

''Detective Dolton and his team? I know what they did. I believe you.''

Anderson looked at her, both surprised and comforted, like he was relieved that someone had said they believed him. It made JJ feel sick, that she had inspired some kind of comfort in him. Not only had he pretty much tortured her girlfriend, he was a dangerous predator to women.

''You…you do?''

''Yes. And so do the people I work with. We've taken them into custody; you don't have to do this. It's over.''

''It'll never be over. I just…no one understood. No one ever believed.''

He sniffled pathetically, that trace of anger sliding back into his voice as he realised that he had let his aim drop slightly and readjusted it. However, he hadn't noticed JJ's slightly different stance.

''Then talk to me, Sir. Just, let her go. You don't need Emily if you have me. She needs to go to the hospital.''

As soon as the words came out of her mouth, JJ knew she should have stopped herself from sounding so personal and desperate. It came out as a plea, rather than a request. However, she couldn't muster up the energy to care, because she knew that it was exactly that, a plea. One that elicited a reaction out of Emily, as she noticed her try to lift her head up and focus again. Her motions were so droopy and uncoordinated in the most unnatural of ways. JJ knew Emily was trying to object. Somewhere in there, she knew her girlfriend could hear everything being said. Despite being influenced by drugs, it would have registered somewhere exactly what was going on. And JJ knew she wouldn't like it one bit. Never in a million years would Emily ever agree to JJ taking her place as a hostage. But JJ didn't much care right now. Because she would gladly take her place, if it ensured her safety.

''She stays.''

Anderson refused flatly, unwilling to give up his prize captive. She was here for a reason, after all. He hadn't just taken anyone. He had taken the bitch he had seen with his rival. The man that had taken away everything that was good in life. She was part of that, and he intended to make her pay for it.

''But…''

''_She stays._''

At Anderson's angry yell, and the fact that he pushed the gun harder into Emily's head, JJ nodded and ceased in her efforts to try and negotiate Emily out of there.

''Okay, okay.''

''Put…put the gun on the table.''

The blonde hesitated slightly, reluctant to give up her gun. If she did, she was powerless to stop Anderson. Her expert aim and skill would be useless without an actual gun, which meant she would have no chance in stopping him if he went to pull his own trigger. However, if she didn't relinquish her gun as instructed, he still had the advantage of being right next to Emily. Could she really take that chance?

''On the table, now. Or I shoot both of you.''

She really couldn't. Nodding slightly, JJ held her sidearm up as she edged toward the table. Feeling something shift in her as she put it down on the table, she knew things had gone from bad to worse. Now she really had no other option than to talk a devolving psycho down.

''It's okay Mr Anderson, let's just stay calm here. Okay?''

Her soft tone made him take in a deep breath, and he lowered the gun a little bit, much to JJ's relief. So perhaps without being armed, he saw no reason to keep the weapon pointed at Emily. Which was good. Which also meant if anything wrong, he would need a reaction time to life it up and pull the trigger. But she was hyper alert right now. His reaction time was also her reaction time. And JJ was willing to bet she was faster than he was right now. That, and she hadn't stepped too far from the table, meaning she was now much closer. As Anderson looked at her, she noted that he was shaking. His eyes were puffy and reddened, like he had been crying or something. He looked exhausted, like it was getting harder and harder for him to think and sustain himself. As she scrutinized him carefully, she almost missed the look he was giving her. The look that was reaching out to her, that almost admired her.

''You look like her, you know? She was _so_ beautiful. The only beautiful thing about this sorry world. And they took her away from me. The things I…_they_ did to her…she…I…_god_…''

Flinching as he shouted and screamed, shaking his head before he held his hands to each side, the little outburst stopped almost as soon as it started. He let out a breath before sucking it back in, trying to get a hold of himself.

''She didn't deserve that. Kate was a good person. She was innocent.''

JJ took her chance to try and connect with him, wanting him to focus on something else other than the people he hated. He said he loved his wife, so that was what she wanted him to think about. Not for one second did she believe he could actually feel what he thought he felt for her. But she was damn well going to play on it. And her statement sounded believable, because she actually did think Kate Anderson had been a good person, and an innocent pawn in such a deadly game.

''Yes. Yes, exactly.''

''So is Emily. Look at her. She came here to find out who did that to your wife Mr Anderson. She came to find out the truth. She never even met Dolton until Monday, I promise you.''

At the link between Emily and his wife, along with the firm conviction in the blonde's voice, Anderson looked down at Emily as he had been instructed to do. Although unsure and nervous of the idea that she was an innocent party. That she could be paralleled to his wife. As he continued to look, he didn't notice JJ inch a little closer again, using his distraction to her advantage once more.

''Why should I believe you?''

He whispered hoarsely, looking back up again.

''Because her ID is right there. Because you asked for me for a reason. You knew I wouldn't lie to you. You can trust me.''

''I'm so tired. I just want it to stop.''

JJ simply nodded, knowing he was tired. Everyone was tired. Everyone was raw. He had lost his wife, and although she found him to be hollow, he obviously thought he felt the weight of that. It had obviously triggered something in him, even though she didn't necessarily believe it was pain. But she failed to feel sorry for him, and instead felt sorry for his dead wife. He really had been innocent, and so was the woman _she _loved. He wasn't going to make this right by killing her. It wasn't justified, or righteous. He was just causing more pain. A pain that would intensify into something JJ couldn't even begin to imagine if she lost the brunette in front of her.

''Please Mr Anderson. Let her go.''

**Washington DC**

**Saturday**

**12:05pm**

The house was filled with silence. All but the soft noises that floated in from the open windows, echoing through the still of the house. The antic Grandfather clock that was set in the hall kept a steady, unwavering rhythm, and Emily found herself almost breathing to that same rhythm. From her position at the dining table, she could see said clock stood proudly in the hallway. She remembered the clock from her childhood, where it had stood in each house they had ever lived in. Even the one in Egypt. It was one of her Mother's prized possessions, along with the Faberge eggs that stood on display in her office. There were a few art pieces and statues that she had collected also, that Emily remembered being told she could admire, but stay away from. But it was the Grandfather clock that now; she kept glancing at to seek comfort.

''Are you waiting for something?''

Elizabeth asked pointedly, having seen her daughter look out to the clock for what must have been the hundredth time since they had sat down to lunch. She had noticed, even upon her arrival, Emily seemed somewhat distracted. She was unusually tense, even though she did tend to be quite tense on the best of days. But now, as her daughter once again looked at the clock, she found herself sighing in mild frustration. It was like Emily was a child again, playing with her food instead of eating it while her head rested in the clouds. Her question though, piercing through the silence, forced her to look at her in surprise, now having been brought back to reality.

'''Scuse me?''

At Emily's seemingly oblivious question, Elizabeth quirked her eyebrow, refusing to let the confrontation slide. She gestured between Emily and the clock she found so interesting.

''Well you keep burning holes into that clock. Are you timing your visit?''

Emily just smiled nervously, wondering why on earth her Mother would suggest she was timing her visit. It was such an unusual thing to say.

''No, of course not.''

''Is there something wrong then? You're uncharacteristically skittish, even for your standards.''

At the remark, which held the tones of the one usually used to criticise her for something, Emily sighed softly and put her fork down, as she starred down at her lap for a moment.

''Obviously something is bothering you Emily. And I know that we don't have the strongest Mother and daughter relationship, but I'd still like to think you would turn to me if you needed to. I'd like to be there for you, if you need me.''

Taking a chance, seeing that her daughter did genuinely seem to have something on her mind, Elizabeth extended the preverbal olive branch. It stung a little as Emily looked up at her, full of surprise. Like she had never expected to hear that spoken from her. Granted, it was her own fault. She had never given her child any reason to expect something different.

''Do you really mean that?''

''Of course I do. What sort of question is that?''

The desperate hope, need even, went unmissed by the Ambassador because of her own insecurities and regrets, leading her to snap a reply at her daughter.

''The kind a daughter has to ask because she never knew where she stood.''

Emily replied without missing a beat, her tone picking up into a harsh one.

''I never meant for you to get that impression, Emily.''

Looking down again, Emily snickered. That was such a typical thing for her Mother to say. She had even softened her voice for it. Like she was supposed to feel sorry for her, because it hadn't been her intention? Emily knew she shouldn't be bitter, she also knew it was probably true. But really, how did her Mother expect her to be fine with that answer?

''What other impression could I have gotten?''

''Is that why you hate me so much? Because I gave you the wrong impressions?''

As quickly as she had looked down, Emily looked back up. Her jaw dropped slightly, forehead furrowed in confusion and hurt. Not hurt for herself, but for her Mother. The bitterness she had felt a moment ago dissipating immediately. It was replaced now with a strong sense of guilt. How could she ever think she hated her?

''_Hate you_? I don't hate you. I never did. I just…all I ever wanted was for you to notice me. It would have made it all worth it. The moving around, the loneliness. I wouldn't have minded if just once, _just once _Mother, if you'd have shown me you loved me more than the job. That I was more important.''

She stated ardently, suddenly feeling a rush of confidence to say what she truly felt. That was all she had ever wanted from her Mother. To be seen. To be valued over her job, just once. She didn't hate her for never giving her that, she didn't know why. Most children would have. But she had never lost that child like attachment to her Mother, never lost the desire to please her. The desperate need to be approved of by her. That's why she had been disappointed so often. But she kept trying anyway.

''What can I do to show you that now?''

At Elizabeth's offer, which Emily took as a silent acknowledgement that she knew what she said had been right, the brunette decided not to focus on that right now. Simply having her Mother offering this to her now, and actually letting her know that she knew she had hurt her was enough for now. So she took in a breath, cringing slightly as she decided instead to embark on her current mission. Now was a good a time as any.

''Well I guess you could not freak out when I say what I came here to tell you.''

Elizabeth smirked almost triumphantly, pleased that she had been right.

''Ah, so there is something on your mind.''

''Yes. Right now…right now I'm the happiest I've ever been. I'd like you to keep that in mind.''

Planting the seed into her Mother's mind, Emily hoped and prayed that she would remember it in the moments to come.

''What're you trying to say, exactly?''

Elizabeth demanded, suddenly concerned over what particular bombshell Emily was going to drop this time. Like the time she had turned down Princeton for Yale. The time when she declared she wasn't going to be a politician, but an FBI Agent. Those bombshells that she was far too good at dropping, quietly defiant and too stubborn to change her mind. She had that kind of feeling again.

''That I met someone? Someone that I've fallen really, really hard for. Someone that I know I'm going to spend the rest of whatever life I have left with.''

Suddenly blinded by relief, Elizabeth grinned happily, completely missing the fact that Emily was so nervous and was barely able to sit still.

''Honey that's wonderful. What is his name?''

Gulping a little, Emily felt the flush of anxiety sweep through her, causing her to flush slightly as it did. The effect was slightly dizzying, and she thought to herself she should be able to handle her own Mother considering the type of people she dealt with everyday.

''Yeah, this is where you show me that I'm more important. _Her_ name, Mom. Her name is Jennifer.''

Emily blinked in shock as her Mother spluttered rather ungracefully.

''Are you okay?''

Somewhat freaked out, Emily half stood from her chair, ready to jump to her Mother's side. She lifted her arms a little, her fingers sprawled at the ready, but she was at a loss as to what to do exactly. Ambassador Prentiss had never reacted in such a way. Not in front of her, at least. As her Mother then began to get a hold of herself, Emily reached for the water jug in the centre of the table and filled a glass with the clear liquid, which Elizabeth picked up and drank down quickly. Emily simply sat back in her chair, blinking at her Mother in surprise.

''I do hope that was a joke, Emily.''

Elizabeth finally stated, now regaining her composure and touching up her hair. She looked across the table, only to see an unyielding look in her daughter's eyes and face as she shook her head firmly.

''No, it wasn't a joke. It's real.''

Obviously not thrilled, Elizabeth looked down at her salad, processing what she had been told. It left Emily to watch her helplessly. It was out now; there was no taking it back. And although there was a distinct feeling of pride and relief rushing through her, there were also strong pangs of dread too. Her Mother didn't make a move or a sound, and the pregnant silence was too much to bear. Finally, not being able to take it anymore, Emily flailed her hands in the air.

''Say something.''

She pleaded desperately, rather running the risk of being admonished than facing that silence any longer. It worked though; it made her Mother look up as she cleared her throat.

''This Jennifer. She's not your…first…''

At the turning hand gesture her Mother gave as she let the sentence drift off, Emily picked up her meaning quickly.

''Girlfriend? No.''

''So it has taken you this long to say anything to me?''

At the accusation, the FBI Agent felt torn between feeling guilty and defensive. This was not what she had expected when she had run through scenarios as she had driven here earlier. Her Mother being offended that she hadn't been clued in to her personal life was definitely not among her outcomes. Her defensiveness however, outweighed her guilt at not having said anything before.

''I guess I never really saw the point.''

''And why is that?''

Once again flailing her hands and snickering in exasperation, Emily finally found the courage to be pissed off. She had had arguments with her Mother before, of course. She wasn't always the devoted little child. She was an adult too, capable of sticking up for herself and her decisions. Just because she didn't get the approval she often sought, didn't make her cop out of anything. But it wasn't often that she brought up the dysfunctions of their relationship either.

''Why do I have to spell everything out for you? Surely you must see why I never told you. Why I never tell you _anything_.''

Elizabeth sighed at Emily's raised and angry voice, rubbing her forehead slowly.

''You don't realise how much I already know about you. You think I never noticed you? You're wrong. But that is a conversation for a different day.''

She revealed mysteriously, making Emily drop her jaw again, now overcome with curiosity.

''But…''

Emily was halted before she could ask her questions by the hand that Elizabeth held up to stop her in her tracks, unwilling to talk further about the subject.

''You participating in relationships with women…well it explains a lot.''

Forgetting that she was mad for a moment, Emily turned to looking downright perplexed, quite defensive and rather paranoid!

''Excuse me?''

She hadn't meant it to come out as an aghast squeak, but it had. Elizabeth simply rolled her eyes at it.

''It isn't what I hoped for you, Emily. This isn't the life I wanted you to lead. Have you really thought about what you're doing? What the consequences are?''

Coming back to herself, Emily frowned seriously again, a little put out by the question.

''Thought about it? Since when do you get to choose who you're attracted to? Or fall in love with?''

''I know people say it isn't a choice, but…''

Now really angry, Emily shook her head, sighing irritably as she licked her lips before glaring across the table. This was a soar issue for her, on any good day. Having herself challenged was one thing. But having to defend herself to everyone, including her Mother, on her affections, on her relationship, got really tiresome. It was a ridiculous debate, if she had ever heard one. Love was love, right? If it was hurting nobody, if it was equal and healthy, wasn't that good? What right did people have to criticise or presume?

''No, no buts Mother. I'm sick of these people, talking about something they don't know. Throwing words around like unnatural. You want to talk about what's unnatural? Men purposely keeping a woman awake while he butchers her is unnatural. People hunting other people for sport is unnatural. Child murderers, rapists, terrorists and arsonists are unnatural. If people only knew what was going on out there, they'd reserve that word for people that truly deserve it.''

It was true, and an extremely valid argument in her eyes. Sometimes she wished she could open people's eyes to exactly what was going on out there. To the horrors she had seen, to the depraved, shockingly callous and downright evil killers she had to hunt down and stop. She went out there, every single day; she gave up much of her life and opened herself up to this sickness and filth, to keep people safe. To stop the world from having to see these horrors. And what did they do? They just judged her on one thing. They weren't thankful she was willing to put her life on the line for them. They just made her as unnatural as the felons she caught, because they didn't understand. It was inexcusable, people were supposed to be better than that.

Seeing her daughter so worked up, Elizabeth held up her hands slightly, indicating that she gave in. It had never been her intention to provoke her like that, she never realised it was so important and raw.

''Okay, okay. I get the picture. Still, Emily. It makes your life so much harder. And children. What about children?''

''Just because I'm dating a woman doesn't mean everything stops working, you know? Look, this is what it is. I'm sorry if it doesn't fit your standards or your expectations for me. But can't you just for once look past that, and see that it's what I want? That it makes me happy?''

Emily let the tiredness show through her eyes, making it evident that she didn't want to bicker about this any longer. She didn't want to fight over it, defend herself over it or go through every single detail like that one. She just wanted something that Elizabeth recognised. Despite the fact Emily thought otherwise, and would never say it, she was in an extremely exposed and vulnerable position right now. And she desperately wanted to be supported.

''I can try, Emily. I just wish it weren't the case. But if this is what you really want, I can make an effort.''

Elizabeth wanted to give that support, found herself actually giving it, although not wholeheartedly. It still left an unsavoury taste in her mouth. Made her feel rather uncomfortable. But it was that stubborn look in Emily's eyes that she responded to. She had no choice but to at least try and accept this. Otherwise, she knew her daughter would take it as the last straw. She would have left here without a single word, and Elizabeth knew with foreboding that she wouldn't have heard from her again unless absolutely necessary.

''Do you have to look so pained when you say that?''

It came out rather meekly, which she supposed was better than coming out angrily. She didn't feel angry anymore. She felt drained. Who knew this was so exhausting?

''What did you expect, exactly?''

Elizabeth wondered objectively, watching with interest as Emily just sighed at the question and rubbed her forehead.

''Nothing. I stopped expecting anything a long time ago.''

She whispered sadly, an uneasy silence following in its wake. What was the point of her Mother saying she would support her, if it wasn't actually true? If it was a hollow gesture, why give it at all? It actually made her feel worse than being told outright she was having nothing to do with it. It was bad, when that was the preferred option. Emily briefly wished that she had never been born to a cold and calculating politician. Instead to an actually supportive Mother, that would have been happy she was happy. Then, as soon as she thought it, she cringed inwardly and took it back. For better or worse, this was her Mother and she actually loved her. Briefly, the temptation to just leave became overwhelming. But just like her last thought, she took that back too. She had to deal with this, one way or the other.

''Jennifer. You're in love with her?''

''Yes.''

''She feels the same way?''

''Yes, she does.''

''Then why don't…''

Emily started to rub her temples, her eyes long ago fixed upon the napkin on her lap.

''Then why don't you tell me about her?''

Emily's eyes finally worked their way up to meet her Mother's, ceasing in rubbing her temples now. Elizabeth was obviously having difficulty finding her footing. Her demeanour was a lot softer, her eyes warmer and a faint smile started to make itself known, causing Emily to look hopeful again. She hesitated at first, weary of the offered question. Then, seeing that her Mother was willing to try, she knew she had to too. It wasn't perfect, but it was a start.


	4. Shattered Illusions

**4) Shattered Illusions**

''_It is a sin to believe evil of others, but it is seldom a mistake.''_H.L. Mencken

**New Jersey**

**Wednesday**

**11:40pm**

It was an eerily still feeling that floated by, touching the Agent's that were still stood at the foot of the house. The police and the SWAT guys remained in a holding pattern, awaiting some signal or commotion with rapt breath so they could head into action. The crowd at the barriers even seemed to be holding their breath, in an almost calm, subdued way. It was odd. Because scenes like these, they were usually fraught with chaos. People moving here and there, shouts through the air and questions being hurled by onlookers and reporters alike. This was different. Somehow, everyone could sense it was different.

''Yeah?''

After his cell phone pierced the air, Morgan pulled it away from his belt and flipped it open, not even bothering to check who it was. Intense dark eyes remained focused on the front door of the house; the one he had stood by and watched his friend walk into over twenty minutes ago.

''Please tell me my girl is okay over there? She's out, right? Tell me she's out.''

Garcia begged almost pathetically, the tone of sheer worry and fear not going unnoticed in her voice.

''How'd you know?''

''Derek, look around. There are reporters everywhere. JJ walking into that house is _all _over the news.''

Due to the current situation, Garcia forewent her usual nicknames and niceties, instead just pointing out the obvious. Morgan turned slightly, and looked across at the reporters talking into their cameras like he had only just realised they were there.

''Damnit. What're they saying?''

''That Emily is reportedly the hostage, and Miller Anderson demanded JJ to go in and negotiate. They haven't said anything since though. Are they okay, Derek?''

Morgan sighed, hearing the desperation in her voice. It pleaded with him to make everything okay, but he couldn't. He couldn't tell her that their friends were okay. They had all been searching for Emily, and during that time, he had no idea what had happened to her.

''We don't know yet Baby Girl. Nothing has happened since JJ went in there.''

''Oh god…''

Even on the other end of the phone, he knew that there were tears brimming in those frantic, tired and terrified eyes of hers. He wished he could make it okay, or be there to comfort her. She was all alone back at Quantico; at least they all had each other.

''Hey, hey, they'll be fine. Okay? I promise I'll call you as soon as I know anything.''

''I'll be watching.''

Garcia promised, before he heard a small sniffle. Sighing, Morgan disconnected the call and looked up at Hotchner, who had been watching astutely.

''What's going on?''

''Garcia said this is all over the news, Hotch. Emily and JJ's names are all over. They know everything.''

Briefly, he wondered how the story had broken. No one had known about Emily's disappearance. No one outside of law enforcement, anyway. As far as they had been meant to know, Emily was simply too busy conducting her investigations to be seen or heard from. JJ had made sure of that. So how did they know she was in there? Sure they had JJ because she had arrived after. But he supposed it didn't much matter anymore. They had their names, and it was airing right now.

''Has anyone called Ambassador Prentiss?''

Reid wondered, an odd frown sliding onto his forehead. He hated to be the one to bring it up, but now that they knew everyone knew Emily had been taken, it was only a matter of time before her Mother found out. And there would be hell to pay if she found out without them telling her. Personally, he didn't want to be on the receiving end of Ambassador Prentiss' wrath. He had only met her once, and that had been intimidating enough. Together with Emily's stories of her, and the fact that he had seen Emily when she was in a bad mood and figured she must have taken at least some of it from her Mother, he never ever wanted to piss the older Prentiss woman off. Yet aside from that, he knew he would never want his own Mother to find out through a news broadcast, it was cold and cruel.

''No, I don't think so.''

Gideon replied, after they looked between one another as if the thought had never occurred to them before.

''Don't you think we should? Before she finds out her daughter has been taken hostage on the television?''

With a grim look, Hotchner nodded once, shouldering the duty of Reid's suggestion. He had a point, after all. And he was the unit chief, he had dealt with the Ambassador before so he knew what to expect.

''I'll make the call.''

Watching his leader walk away, Morgan sighed before turning to his other one quickly.

''I don't like how this is dragging out Gideon. What if JJ can't talk him down?''

''We need to give her a chance.''

The calmness in Gideon's voice made Morgan's frown become more defined, as he flailed and tapped his watch like it would actually help. Like Gideon didn't already know for himself how long it had been.

''It's been like 20 minutes. We should do something.''

Sighing, with just a trace of annoyance there, Gideon looked at his young colleague. He knew he was wrought with worry. He was an Alpha Male and his instinct was to protect the ones he loved. He was arrogant and hard headed, and just wanted to get in there and bust some heads open. But right now was when he needed to be rational and calm, for the sake of those he endeavoured to protect.

''If we storm the house we could get them both killed. We don't move unless it's our last resort.''

**Washington DC**

**Saturday**

**7:35pm**

The sky had slipped into a light darkness now, one shade of blue growing darker until it would reach the colour of black. The early evening air had brought with it a crisp freshness, and Emily found it comforting as she walked across the huge driveway toward her car. It helped to wake up her senses, reminding her also that she had stepped back out into the world. Having spent to long cocooned in her Mother's house, warm and ignorant to the outside world, she felt like she had just woken up.

Slipping into her car, the brunette started it up quickly, as her body began to relax now she considered herself back in her own territory. Sitting deep into her seat as the car engine purred, Emily sighed slowly as she lifted up her phone. A small flicker of a smile reached her lips as she noticed she had received a text from JJ, not having noticed before now. After reading it quickly, Emily felt the absolute need to seek out her girlfriend. It felt like now she had come back into reality, her entire body realised that it just needed to be next to JJ's. It was odd, what someone's physical presence could do to you. It was something outside of everything else, even sex. It was just something in her bones, that always registered that JJ was there. She was solid, she was in being. She could be touched; she could be seen and smelt. And despite that she looked like she could break so easily, she wouldn't. And when in those moments that Emily needed to feel that physical presence and fell into a needed embrace, she felt like she was being held by the strongest of fortresses. That within those arms, nothing bad could ever happen. She would be forever protected from harm, from time, from feeling. To her, JJ was the strongest force of nature there was, and right now, she needed to be close to the storm.

Concentrating on the dark roads before her, Emily shut off most of her higher thought. After a day of brutal honesty, arduous gut spilling and startling realisations with her Mother, she just needed to let her brain rest. She had always loved driving. As soon as she had been able, Emily had started to take long drives out on quiet roads, surrounded by nothing but space. She loved the openness out on the road. The hum of the car, the sparkling lights in distances during the darkness. It all felt so comforting. Her body would feel like it was moulded almost, into the car itself, and in complete control. It settled her thoughts, settled her feelings. Gave her a peace of mind when she most needed it.

Unfortunately, her peace wasn't to last. Pulling to a slow stop behind a line of traffic, Emily tried to peer around the other cars to see why the normally easy going road was backed up. She saw nothing. Now her peace was lost, and her one objective of getting home to her girlfriend had been put in serious jeopardy. And as she thought that, Emily began to get irritated. She began to fidget in her seat, getting irritated as she began to drum her fingers on the wheel. Eventually, seeing as the traffic was only crawling inch by inch along the road, caused by what she concluded was some kind of accident now she made out some flashing lights and lots of commotion, she picked her phone up again

and pressed JJ's given speed dial. If she was going to be stuck here, she wanted to hear her voice as well as let her know what was taking so damn long.

''Hey, did you get my text?''

Setting her phone onto the speaker, Emily nodded as though JJ could actually see her, as she set the phone down so she could give her full capabilities to her car. Getting into her own accident was seriously not high on her list of things to do.

''Yeah, I did. Dinner with Morgan and Garcia at 8 before drinks.''

''So you're on your way?''

Emily cringed slightly, as she once again tried to peer around the other cars. As she realised that this wasn't going to be over quickly, her shoulders sagged in disappointment. On the other end of the line, she could practically hear the warmth and relaxing atmosphere JJ was in, obviously coming from the restaurant they were supposed to be eating in. There were chattering voices, rattling glasses and rich laughter taunting her down the phone.

''Eh, not exactly. I just left my Mother's house. There's an accident up ahead, things are moving very slowly. Honey I'm gunna be late. Are you already there?''

''Yeah we're just sitting at the bar waiting for our table.''

Sighing as she rubbed her forehead slowly, the older woman became resigned to her fate of being stuck on her own for an unspecified amount of time.

''Okay. I'm sorry. I'll get changed and be there as quick as I can. Start without me. Just order whatever looks good!''

Hearing JJ chuckle made her smirk again, picking up her spirits a little bit. Emily blamed her needy and wishy washy mood on how tired she was, drained from the marathon conversation she had had with her Mother.

''I will. How did it go with your Mom?''

Again, as though JJ could see her, Emily shrugged nonchalantly.

''Meh.''

''Meh?''

''I'll let you know when I get there. Make sure something in a large glass that's strong is waiting for me.''

She requested, although it came out more like a suggestion. Right now, she didn't have the energy to go through it all again. Not so quickly after, anyway. And not over the phone, either. It had actually gone decidedly better than she had anticipated. After the rocky start, things had begun to get a little easier. Emily had found it surprising how easily she had began to answer her Mother's questions, about all sorts of things but specifically JJ.

''Will do. See you soon.''

Emily smiled slightly, nodding faintly as she concentrated on moving the car foreword slowly. The temptation to abuse her position and title crawled across her mind briefly,

but she kicked it out as she thought of it. It would indeed have been an abuse, simply for her personal impatience. That's not how she tended to operate. She knew she would be there soon enough, and it wasn't as though JJ was mad at her for being late. Until she arrived, she would be fine with Garcia and Morgan to keep her company.

''Bye.''

After disconnecting the call, JJ let her eyes linger on her phone as though she were looking at Emily. The smallest of frowns reached her face, as she thought about the underlying exhaustion running through her lover's voice. Maybe not a tired, kind of tired. But a tired that indicated that today had been a lot for her to undertake. But unfortunately, there was nothing she could do about it right now, as much as she longed to.

Looking up at her friends again, the blonde smiled as she tucked her phone back into her bag. Garcia, as flamboyantly dressed as always, was perched on her barstool sipping from what JJ could only describe as a largely ostentatious tropical drink. It was bright in its colour, with lots of different things sticking out of it. So really, it suited Penelope Garcia down to the ground.

''How did what go with Mom?''

Her friend demanded from around her straw, eyebrows perched up in overwhelming interest. Ear wigging was one of the woman's better known 'talents', as she liked to put it. So JJ wasn't in the least bit surprised to have been asked.

''I'll explain when Emily arrives. However, she is going to be late but she told us to start without her.''

''How'd she do with your friends last night?''

Morgan wondered lightly, before taking the last gulp of beer he had left. From where he was standing, next to Garcia and opposite JJ's chair, he needed to lean past Garcia to set his glass down onto the bar. As he did, Garcia gasped, letting her eyes roll backward and a look of pure joy wash over her face playfully.

''Great. They all really liked one another.''

Pulling back, and giving Garcia a teasing nudge, Morgan smiled back at JJ.

''So she didn't embarrass herself like she thought she would, huh?''

The blonde scoffed, rolling her eyes and flicking one of her hands. Suddenly, the indignation of being the one to be humiliated last night came back to her full force.

''No, but then she's really not as bad as she thinks. Actually, I was the one that went through the ritual humiliation. There are things she knows about me now that she will _never _let me live down!''

Like almost stripping on top of a table. Emily was apparently gripping onto that one for dear life. She knew sooner or later, the request was going to be made, she could feel it. Not that the idea of working Emily up good and proper by performing her very own striptease didn't have its appeals. And of course, there were always favours returned. So JJ thought it would be a very acceptable deal.

Completely taken with her thoughts then, JJ was surprised to be snapped out of them by Morgan, who nudged her in the arm. Coming back to herself, she realised with some

embarrassment that she was being waited for expectantly, after they had been called to their table. Clearing her throat and tucking a strand of hair behind her ear as JJ delicately slipped off her stool, not before asking the bartender to send an ice water to their table!

After getting over her initial fluster, JJ settled into her seat and resumed chatting and laughing with, and at, her friends. Despite the fact that she kept glancing at her watch, smiling shyly at Garcia who caught her a couple of times, she was having a good time. It was nice, just to have fun. And tonight was almost turning into an extension of last night. Only, with a lack of Emily by her side. It was nice to relax, really. After Emily had left the apartment, JJ had set about getting showered and dressed. She had gone about some chores at her own house, and just enjoyed milling around for a change. She had wondered constantly what was happening with Emily and her Mother of course. She had had to resist the urge to call and check a couple of times. So she was actually thankful that Garcia had ordered her to come out, even though Emily wasn't home yet.

''Wow lady, you look _hot_!''

At Garcia's appreciative and rather suggestive coo, Morgan looked up as JJ turned around so quickly it was surprising she didn't sustain whiplash. It had been almost fifty minutes since they had talked on the phone, and the blonde found herself wondering just how in the hell Emily had managed to get home, changed and here in under an hour. But then, she really didn't care so much, because she was just glad she was here.

Chuckling, a slightly flustered yet amused Emily Prentiss slipped into her seat as she rolled her eyes, dropping her jaw slightly at Garcia's comment. It's not that she thought she was particularly unattractive or anything. But sometimes she had a slight malfunction trying to process just why in the hell people thought she was hot. She was comfortable enough in herself, and that comfort extended to knowing she didn't have to be scared of hitting on anyone, and knowing that she could pretty much wear whatever she wanted to. But sometimes, especially when JJ looked at her in such an awe stricken way and told her how beautiful she was, she found herself at a loss.

''I don't know how, but thanks. Hi.''

Smiling across at Garcia, Emily then turned her attention onto her girlfriend. Instantly, as their eyes met, she let out one little sigh, and felt her entire being relax. She had managed to get here, because she had been on automatic rush. Everything she had done she had done very quickly. Which had included hopping around JJ's bedroom, since her house was the closest, pulling on her clothes after leaping in and out of the shower. She actually hadn't given much thought to her attire. Just shoved on a knee length dark skirt, an one of JJ's v-neck, three quarter sleeved pull over shirts that the blonde tended to look rather divine in. But hey, if it earned her the approving stares she was receiving, she considered it a job well done!

''Hi.''

JJ smiled sweetly, leaning in to place a delicate kiss on her lover's lips. She forgot about everything else, the restaurant and even her friends dropping away from her in the wake of Emily's arrival. And as she pulled back, she gave the brunette an expectant look as she placed a hand on her knee gently.

''Everything okay?''

Emily nodded, leaning forward to take hold of JJ's wine glass and steal a few sips. Neither one of them noticed Morgan and Garcia look from them, then between themselves for a moment, obviously confused.

''It's…better than I expected it to be.''

Emily summed up, the softest of smiles gracing her lips, with an honest and enthused look in her eyes that told JJ it really had been.

''That's great.''

Not so subtly, Garcia began to clear her throat, obviously on a mission to gain her friends' attention. She quirked an eyebrow as JJ looked at her, not ecstatic that she was out of the loop. She liked to know absolutely everything, that was her nature. Goddess' needed to know everything, of course!

''Oh, I didn't tell them yet. Thought you might want to, or you know, just in case…''

Emily nodded in understanding as JJ let the sentence run off, not needing it to be explained that it had remained between them in case something went wrong or if it didn't happen at all.

''I get it. It's not huge guys, don't worry. I erm…I went to see my Mom today, to tell her about JJ and me.''

Considering that she had declared that it wasn't huge, she was confronted then by two extremely shocked faces. Apparently, they had never seen that one coming. But really, who would? Especially when it came to her Mother, who she knew none of the team envied her of.

''_Really_? How'd that go down?''

Morgan wondered, forgoing teasing her and aiming for something a little more supportive. He was interested, like he always was with his friends. But there was something about Emily that had always piqued his interest. She was full of surprising little facts, quirks and was armed with some really fascinating stories and experiences. He liked that about her. And also her personality. The one that was so down to earth, despite her being born into a golden spoon family.

''Well apparently she wasn't that surprised.''

At the unmistakably unimpressed and flat tone, JJ snickered. Receiving a murderous glare from her girlfriend, she patted her chest and pretended to be clearing her throat instead, but she knew Emily wasn't having any of it as she eyed her suspiciously. At some point, JJ knew she would be able to bring it up and tease her over it. Because really, could she claim it was that surprising? In no way did JJ think her girlfriend was butch, but she kind of was. There was an undercurrent in how she carried herself, that could put a subconscious seed in people's heads. It certainly had in her own. But it didn't detract from Emily's femininity by any lengths. But obviously she was a little paranoid about it doing just that.

''So, she's cool then?''

Morgan wondered, making Emily turn to look at him again, therefore letting JJ off the hook.

''_Cool_ is a word I would never associate with Ambassador Prentiss. She's…adjusting. Obviously, she would rather not have to deal with her only daughter dating another woman, but she said it was okay. Sort of. So in other words she'll put up with it. Though it's the first time I've seen her almost choke on thin air! Oh and JJ is coming for dinner on Sunday.''

In under a second, the blonde in question went from smirking playfully with Garcia, to looking at her girlfriend with a look of sheer terror and panic across her face.

''I am?''

She gulped and squeaked at the same time. Suddenly, taking on a pack of ravenous dogs coming at her all at once seemed incredibly easy.

''I was too afraid to say no!''

Emily admitted, then cringed slightly at the mortified look on JJ's face.

''I should have asked.''

Forcing herself out of her stupor, JJ cleared her throat and shook her head.

''No. No it's fine. It's just…well your Mother scares me!''

''Yeah, get used to that. It doesn't stop.''

At Emily's playful warning, the four of them chuckled, easing JJ's worries a little bit. The fact of it was, she would pretty much walk through fire for Emily, so taking on her Mother was doable. And after what Emily had done today, spending the entire day with her Mother to tell her about them, JJ thought she could handle one little dinner. And she wouldn't be alone, whereas Emily had been today.

''C'mon Jayj, Em's worth it. You wouldn't give up on her just because she has a powerful, terrifying, over bearing Mother who could have you killed so we'd never find your body, would you?''

Garcia demanded cheerily, earning herself a round of odd looks and blinking eyes. JJ however, used to Garcia's insanity, shook her head to snap out of it. That, and the more she thought about it the more she would realise that she would indeed never be found!

''Nah, in for a penny, in for a pound.''

''Right on!''

Morgan cheered, lifting up his glass and clinking it with JJ's as he got her to do the same. Emily laughed, seeing JJ roll her eyes as she sipped some of the wine she had managed to steal back for herself. Emily managed to catch the attention of a passing waiter, looking up at him hopefully and indicating she'd have whichever one JJ was drinking. She was pleased that he caught on quickly, and nodded before going along his way. Then, as it dawned on her what JJ had said, she pouted at her with a small frown.

''Hey. Did you just call me a penny?''

Eventually, JJ managed to placate Emily as she had sulked at her indignantly, claiming she was deeply insulted by being called a penny. The four of them went back to making idle chitchat, again laughing and telling stories happily. JJ and Garcia ganged up on Morgan, relating a story back to Emily about a time they had managed to freak him out one Halloween before she had arrived at the unit. This was even before Elle had been in the unit, before Gideon had lost six Agents' out in Boston. It atmosphere remained comfortable and friendly over their dinner, but when it came to talking about desert, Emily insisted that they go elsewhere, promising them they wouldn't regret where she had in mind.

The older woman lead the trio to a cosy little club she discovered when she first moved back to DC to start with the BAU. It was slightly out of the way, funky and offbeat. Very seductive, but relaxing at the same time too. Much like the place they had been last night was. All different types of music got played, so long as it wasn't generically turned out rubbish. Something Emily was all too thankful for. Being somewhat of a music lover, it was one of her biggest pet peeves when everyone went nuts over a generic, mediocre at best band or artist. So she had been distinctly happy when she had found this place, since it shared her feelings on the subject matter. Another one of its perks, was the to die for homemade chocolate cake. It had a reputation amongst those that found the club, as serving the greatest cake in the city. Something which neither Emily or JJ could disagree with. It had been Emily to introduce JJ to her favourite little haunt, on their fourth date. The blonde had fallen in love with it, causing them to frequent it quite a lot.

Now, bathed in the red tinge from the lights, the friends and colleagues managed to snag a comfy little booth over looking the dance floor. After ordering two slices of cake with ice cream (two would be sufficient enough, considering that the slices were _huge_), Morgan and Garcia decided to go with the beat, hitting the dance floor whilst they waited. It was a slow and seductive beat that vibrated through the establishment, making the two of them sway together, with Garcia practically suctioned to Morgan's chest. Like she needed much of an excuse!

''Do you think Garcia could cling to Morgan anymore than she is?''

Emily mused, a long smirk curving along her lips as she looked on with amusement. She had honestly never met anyone like Penelope Garcia before, and she never expected to again. The little whirlwind was one in a million, never to be imitated. She was unique, and the brunette found herself lucky to know her.

''Probably, if she tried! I wouldn't put it past her.''

JJ responded with a snort, looking over curiously. She knew full well how perfectly capable of _anything _Garcia was if she set her mind to it. Blue eyes moved however, away from her friend and onto Emily's as she turned around to look at her, still chuckling softly.

''You wanna dance?''

''Later. I'm enjoying having you alone right now.''

''You are, are ya?''

As always, JJ felt a shiver run down her spine and then flow through every other fibre within her body as the low, suggestive purr that Emily couldn't have made sound sexier if she had tried, as the brunette advanced upon her.

''Uh hu.''

Was the only thing the usually composed, well spoken press liaison could utter before Emily's lips met her own. And how did she stand in front of a million cameras so often again? Her girlfriend had always had a knack of taking her words away from her, disarming her almost, against her advances. Not that JJ tended to try to fight them off very often! Why on earth would she want to resist?

Now completely lost in, what had to be described only as a _very _heavy make out session, neither woman remembered the club or people around them. Only lost in each other, and the sensations they provoked. Probing mouths and lustful hands. They forgot all

about the order they had placed, just happy to be here together. They didn't even realise that they were giving their waiter a rather spectacular show. The man stood, not knowing exactly which way to look, trying and hoping to get their attention. Finally, he cleared his throat loudly, finally getting noticed by the amorous couple.

Managing to separate themselves from one another, both Emily and JJ had at least the good grace to flush a little pink and look embarrassed. They said nothing as the guy placed the two huge plates of cake down, smirking before he turned on his heel to head back from wherever he had come from. And as Emily let out a long breath, JJ laughed lightly whilst she lowered her head slightly, rubbing the back of her neck.

''Wow, I feel like I just got caught behind the school bike shed by the principal again.''

She muttered loud enough to get a grin from Emily, and an amused snort out of Garcia as she shuffled herself back into the table. She and Morgan had been about to return to the table, but decided to wait until their friends stopped making out, figuring that they deserved their privacy seeing that Emily had quite clearly been put through the wringer today. Yet, they didn't seem to stop for air. So it had been a rather hilarious event to watch the waiter interrupt them.

''Again? Aww Kitten, someone was a delightfully bad, naughty, dirty girl growing up!''

Garcia teased, with an almost proud tone floating through her voice. Her comment earned a scoff from Emily, who pointed toward JJ as she shook her head lightly.

''You know, she looks all innocent and naïve. So not true! She strips on tabletops!''

The trio laughed as JJ pouted, now talking her turn to playfully sulk. She folded her arms across her chest in defiance, turning away from Emily's attempts to placate her. It had been the damn chocolate cake that was her undoing. She hadn't been able to resist the bit that Emily offered her on the fork, and after that, she had forgotten what she was supposed to have been offended about.

It wasn't long, after the cakes and ice cream were devoured, that the four of them got back into chatting away over their drinks, comfortable in their surroundings and now completely full after their desert. After a while though, succumbing to the beat of the music, Morgan and JJ hit the dance floor together after they were respectfully turned down by the two ladies left at the table. Both had just wanted to sit for a little longer, happy to just really relax. Garcia had a lop sided smirk plastered onto her face, as she just sat watching Emily watch JJ. Something danced in those burning brown eyes of hers, a sparkle that seemed to have taken up residence deep inside of them since Emily and JJ had started dating. Not being able to keep it secret for long, Garcia had known pretty early. JJ had practically burst, wanting to share with her best friend. And Garcia was all too happy to listen, and of course, situate herself in the situation!

''You know, JJ is like a sister to me. We basically adopted one another as soon as we met. She's my best friend, my girl. There's nothing I wouldn't do for that woman.''

As she spoke, affection flooding her voice, Emily looked away from the woman she loved on the dance floor and up at Garcia. The technical analyst knew she had the brunette's full attention, Emily was always aware when people needed to say something, and always gave them the space to say it.

''We've known each other a long time. There's not a lot Jayj hasn't told me. And I've seen her through a few people. And as her best friend and honouree sister, I feel compelled to threaten the life of those who dare to come near her in any kind of romantic way.''

Although there was clearly no menace in Garcia's voice, Emily felt compelled to raise a curious eyebrow to question if this was what was happening now. Garcia had simply ordered her not to hurt JJ when she had first found out, something which she intended never to do. But there had been no threats on her life.

''Is this a delayed threat on my life?''

Emily asked carefully, almost objectively. She felt no offence or insult, or defensiveness. She was well aware how much Garcia loved JJ, and how much JJ loved Garcia. She didn't feel threatened by that, and she had never endeavoured to pry into that union, or try to change it. It was theirs, and she had no right to try and touch it.

''No Honey Bee. I'm just sayin', you're the only one I _don't_ need to threaten. I trust you with her.''

Garcia smiled as she corrected her friend, smiling sincerely as Emily just stared back at her, evidently touched by the statement. And she was. Having Garcia's full blown approval and trust to someone she considered part of her family wasn't something Emily dismissed. She knew how sacred it was. She didn't have any words though, to reply to such a statement. So instead she just smiled in that particular way that she knew Garcia would understand. And that's how it remained for a moment, both smiling at the other in understanding, before they began to chat again. However, their conversation was interrupted and cut short by two very enthusiastic other halves, that had dragged them out of their seats and onto the floor. Needless to say, that's where most of the night was spent.

**Washington DC**

**Sunday**

**9:35am**

As the soft lull of her lovers voice reached her, distinguished and pleasant, Emily looked up from her newspaper, although not obviously. She creased a corner down just enough to peer over it, the hint of a loving smirk covering her lips. JJ was completely oblivious to her appreciative, roaming eyes, looking quite content as she read her own paper at the opposite end of the couch. Emily could tell the blonde didn't even realise that she was singing along to the radio quietly, but loud enough to be heard and listened to.

It was a soft and comfortable feeling that filled every inch of the apartment. And they were content in being sprawled at either end of the couch, legs tangled in the middle. They had risen a little over a half hour ago, but neither of them had made any attempt to get dressed for the day. Emily was quite surprised that her girlfriend had actually behaved long enough for them to throw on the shorts and vests they had on, so getting ready for the day was practically an impossibility. Not that she minded. This was what Sunday's were meant to be all about. Besides, she figured that they both needed their rest after last night. There had been nothing tranquil about anything they had gotten up to last night. Or this morning, due to a certain blonde that would remain nameless. The one that was so consumed in reading the paper still, that she had absolutely no idea that she kept getting louder and louder. Together with that, JJ started to bop her head in time with the music, which only served to make Emily smirk fully now, captured by the sight and her attention completely abandoning her paper. Not being able to keep it in any longer, Emily chuckled softly, enough to make JJ look up, instantly realising that the brunette had been staring at her.

''You're watching me again.''

She pointed out softly, quite matter of factly. Emily gave her her best lopsided smile she had, while shrugging ever so slightly; not at all embarrassed she had finally been caught.

''Well you sort of radiate, it's hard not to stare!''

JJ cast a doubtful look, arching an eyebrow questioningly, not at the compliment but at Emily's chosen description at what she had been doing.

''Stare?''

She repeated, clearly unconvinced that it was an exactly apt portrayal. It had been hard at first, having Emily look at her like that. It hadn't made her uncomfortable or anything, she had just never understood why. There was this all consuming, powerfully insatiable look that Emily always reserved for her and her alone. Never had she seen anything like it aimed at anyone or anything else. And JJ often had to wonder what exactly the brunette saw in her to look at her like that. Making her feel so wanted and craved for. It made her feel like she was the only person on the earth.

''Eh, okay so it was closer to leering. But in my defence, you're you and also, you were singing.''

Emily replied easily, adopting her natural charm to defend herself. She again, showed no shame or embarrassment about the fact that she had indeed been leering at JJ.

''I was?''

The blonde asked quickly, suddenly blushing a little bit as she realised that she actually had been.

''Sorry. I'm surprised your ears survived.''

At the self deprecating comment, Emily nudged her lover with her foot, biting her bottom lip slowly as she moved.

''What're you talking about? You can sing.''

She contradicted challengingly, making JJ scoff and roll her eyes.

''Yeah according to you.''

''According to anyone that hears you. I like it when you sing.''

The last part was said with such an honest softness, that JJ stopped whatever retort had been about to come out of her mouth, and smile instead. She knew full well that Emily liked it when she sang; she had told her plenty of times along with having requested quite a number of times for her to do just that. JJ wasn't exactly the most confident about her 'talents' at singing, but it was usually far beyond her to be able to say no to Emily. Usually, her girlfriend asked when she really needed something to hold onto. When something so awful happened, that it threatened to haunt her very soul and never let go. It was insane, that that was what they had to face everyday.

''Thanks.''

Reluctant to let herself start falling into the trap of what they had to deal with at work, JJ instead sighed as she tossed the paper aside, letting it flop onto the coffee table. Pushing some hair out the way of her face, she looked over again toward Emily.

''Death, terror, politics and more death. I deal with enough of that at work. Can't they ever put anything remotely cheery in there?''

She complained grimly, figuring that if she stopped reading the paper she would have a fighting chance to not think about what awaited her at work tomorrow. Right now, she wanted to cling onto the weekend for all she was worth, determined spend every last second of the down time living a life that constantly got put on hold and value the fact that she had someone in her life that countered the darkness of her job. That someone grunted squeakily, grimacing as she shoved her own paper aside.

''I doubt it. They're a little out of practice.''

''Here we have the reason I decided not to go into journalism.''

Lifting a surprised and curious eyebrow, Emily shifted into the corner of the couch a little more, trying to imagine JJ being one of the reporters that she dealt with all of the time. It was an odd image to conjure up.

''You were going to?''

''I thought I was. Being young and idealistic and all. I studied my ass off to do it. It was a sure thing.''

Shifting her own position, now laying her legs down from the bent position they had been in, JJ thought back to the aspirations she had had back in college. Although she had never considered herself as being naïve, JJ certainly knew she had been young and idealistic.

''Huh. I just always assumed this is what you wanted to do. What changed?''

Emily wondered, now very fascinated in hearing about it. She took the opportunity to start stroking her fingers lightly over the smooth skin just above her girlfriend's ankle, tracing patterns there subconsciously.

''It just…it didn't seem to be enough. Not for me, anyway. I felt like I wanted to do something to help change things, instead of just reporting on them, you know?''

For a second, JJ had let her eyes drop as she frowned, trying to sum up the feeling that had changed her outlook back then. That's the best she had been able to get to a good explanation. Something had compelled her to do something different, leading her right into the arms of the FBI. She had never looked back, not even at the worst of times. Looking back up, she could see an understanding look reflected back at her. She knew Emily had felt that same drive, leading her to do something so far from what she had been expected to.

''Yeah. Yeah I know.''

After Emily had nodded thoughtfully, she pulled herself up and began to wonder toward the fridge.

''What'd you want to do today?''

JJ asked, although with a trace of absolute uselessness running through it. The blonde knew damn well that getting Emily to do much on a Sunday was a very difficult task indeed. Sometimes she succeeded, and they ended up going for a walk or a drive. To a museum, or having lunch out or something. But on a lot of Sunday's, the older woman preferred to pretty much hibernate, stealing the day solely for themselves.

''Urgh, its Sunday JJ! Absolutely _nothing_, is what I wanna do. I don't even wanna get dressed! This weekend has been draining enough by itself, never mind when it was on the tail end of a four day spree killer hunt in Seattle. I just want to veg.''

Turning over what Emily pointed out, JJ nodded, having to agree that the brunette had a point. And despite that the weekend had seemed to be all about them, this was the only real time that they had to spend with one another alone. She wasn't about to give that up for anything!

''Sounds good to me.''

Looking up as she heard rustling, JJ had to smirk lightly as she saw a pure look of concentration on Emily's face as she focused on snapping some chocolate off of a large bar she had retrieved from her fridge.

''Hey, it's a little early for chocolate, isn't it?''

Now leaning into the counter, Emily looked over at JJ like she had too heads, obviously disgusted at the suggested notion that it was too early for chocolate.

''_Too early_? And how are you my girlfriend again?''

She repeated and demanded challengingly, but with a mischievous smirk as she bit at her chocolate slowly. She watched as JJ just shrugged casually, looking across at her matter of factly.

''You like blondes and you said I was good in bed.''

She stated simply, making Emily break into a wide grin. It was completely true. That's exactly what she had told JJ in jest one night when the blonde had asked her why she had fallen in love with her. The mood had been light, and she hadn't managed to resist the urge to answer like a wiseass. Even if it was a statement that was completely true. Her real answer had followed shortly after JJ had laughed, nudging her in the stomach. The simple truth of it was, Emily could only respond in one way. She had fallen in love with JJ, because JJ was JJ.

''Oh that's right, yeah.''

She replied cheekily, smiling devilishly as she now thought how true that was. She had to admit, she had always had a strange weakness for blondes. She guessed that just like most people, she had a type. Never had she dismissed anyone because of it, but when she added it all up in her head, there had been a lot more blondes in her past than anything else.

''Since you're up, I'm out of coffee!''

Emily blinked herself back into reality, now noticing that JJ was smiling at her all too sweetly as she stretched out her arm with her mug in her hand, wiggling it in her general direction. Rolling her eyes, Emily walked over to the back of the couch to take the mug, leaning down while she was there to steal a quick kiss that JJ was only too happy to oblige to.

''It's a good job I love you, otherwise I might object to being your slave!''

At that, JJ simply snickered disbelievingly.

''Yeah, right.''

During the course of the day, which went surprisingly fast, the objective of not really doing anything was certainly reached. The pair had lounged about contentedly, happy to just talk and be close to one another. They listened to music whilst they cooked some dinner later on, reflecting on bits and pieces that they had read, or telling one another about experiences they had had outside of each others presence. It felt nice for them both just being a normal couple, even though they knew they weren't. In more than one way. And even though they didn't mention work specifically, they could both feel it looming on the very edge of their awareness, waiting. Refusing to acknowledge it though, both Emily and JJ just continued on happily. Sipping wine and enjoying the lone moments they took to just be close, sharing a hug or a kiss.

The entire week caught up to them both quickly, as late afternoon turned into evening. Emily had opted to get a shower before going to bed, which JJ so very rudely barged in on. After that, when they were both dry and comfortable again, they climbed into bed tiredly and flicked the TV on. Emily sat up a little bit, watching intently to the random episode of some law enforcement show that she had no idea about. JJ was tucked into her, arm strewn across her stomach with her eyes barely open enough to even see the television. Whilst she was starting to give way to slumber, Emily was staring at the TV, mouth agape and looking rather indignant as the storyline of some terrorist plot unfolded. She grunted and squeaked every now and then, apparently appalled at the long scene on display in which the suspect spoke in Arabic, having one of the characters translate for him.

''What the…?''

Flailing a hand angrily, Emily's forehead furrowed in annoyance. Pretty similar to when a child would get irritated that someone else was playing with their toy.

''That's _not_ what he said!''

She stated, making JJ try to open her eyes a little bit more in order to stay awake. Taking in a sleepy breath, she patted her offended girlfriend on the stomach gently.

''It's not real Em.''

''Yeah, but still. I mean c'mon, doesn't the guy speaking the damn language at least point out that the translation is wrong?''

She demanded, almost like she expected JJ to actually know the answer to the ins and outs of making a television show.

''It's a TV show. No one cares.''

''They get paid to care. You don't see me translating something wrong do you?''

JJ found herself smirking, despite herself. She staved off the brink of sleep a little longer to indulged the pissed off brunette. It was so adorable when she took things like this to heart, which was why she wasn't supposed to watch this kind of crap. While JJ could just let her brain shut off, Emily just needed to point out the inaccuracies that she spotted.

''Em, baby, just turn the TV off and go to sleep. You can go to work tomorrow and do what they're only playing at doing.''

Looking down at her lover, Emily started to softly stroke through JJ's silky hair before she broke out into a wide smile.

''You mean I can be a kick ass FBI Agent, all cool and heroic and stuff?''

She asked lightly playfully, only to be met with a soft and sleepy grunt in reply.

''I wouldn't go that far, you big geek.''

''Hey!''

Prodding JJ along with her voiced objection in payback, she smiled as the blonde laughed softly before lifting herself up enough to duck in for a slow and lingering kiss.

''You're a sexy geek though.''

She whispered sweetly, giving Emily a look that told her that it was perfectly true. It made her shrug happily, no longer 'offended' by being called a geek.

''Works for me!''

Rolling her eyes, JJ just smiled as Emily switched off the TV and settled down, rolling around into a comfortable position and wrapping her arms around her, burying her chin into the crook of her neck. Before she slipped into a blissfully restful sleep, JJ thought to herself how amazing it was to fall asleep in the arms of her lover. The safest, comfiest place on earth.

**F.B.I Headquarters**

**Quantico, Virginia**

**Monday, 8:35am**

Hovering at the little kitchenette, Emily concentrated on the soul objective of getting the coffee from the pot out into her cup. Blinking slightly to force herself to come around properly, she shoved the pot back onto its stand and lifted up her hand to cover her mouth as she yawned, her free hand picking up the sugar dispenser and pouring it in.

''Late night?''

Looking up, the brunette smiled at Morgan and the leery look he harboured as he wiggled his eyebrows teasingly. Rolling her eyes slightly, taking absolutely no offence, she turned back to her coffee as the other Agent began to pour out his own.

''No. Just exhausted from the weekend. Had a lot going on, you know?''

Turning around, the now impeccably and professionally dressed FBI Agent leant against the counter, wrapping one arm around herself as she held the coffee up near her mouth with her other. She had been in the office for coming up to ten minutes now, and the weekend already seemed like a distant memory. She had given JJ a gentle nudge as they had parted at the elevator, and hadn't seen her since.

''I hear you. Feels good though, right?''

Morgan asked seriously, lifting an eyebrow in question as he looked at her. She knew that he understood this weekend had been huge for her. JJ too, but especially her. She had admitted to him before, when they had been sat in an SVU doing surveillance for what had been the longest five hours of her life, about just what she thought of JJ and their relationship. About her past commitment anxieties, and that she had never felt the need to say anything to her Mother because nothing had ever been serious enough. Not that she hadn't been in a serious relationship before, she had. But eventually, those

anxieties had always mounted on top of her and broken the relationships. With JJ though, she hadn't felt any of that.

''Feels amazing.''

''My girl.''

Emily laughed gently at Morgan's corniness, but didn't miss the look of pride and happiness twinkling deep in those dark eyes of his. She shook her head gently as she high fived him, not wanting to leave him hanging as he lifted his hand up. She would never hear the end of it if she did. Just as she did, both of the Agent's noticed as Reid dashed through the bullpen toward his desk, like someone had lit a fire under his ass. As he plopped his satchel down onto it quickly, he looked up to see they were staring at him with raised and curious eyebrows.

''Where's the fire Reid?''

At first, the young man looked entirely perplexed, his eyes looking around as best they could to try and see if there was an actual fire. Then, realisation filled his eyes as he realised it wasn't a literal question.

''Huh? Oh, I thought I was going to be late.''

''Reid, there's hardly anyone here. We don't get briefed till 10, so we're usually good until then.''

Reid simply gave the older man a pointed look and a raised eyebrow. It was a look that most teachers gave to their tardy students.

''I have time standards.''

Emily snickered into her coffee, nodding in amusement as she chuckled softly, looking up at Morgan who was getting the impression he was being ganged up on.

''Yeah Morgan, you're usually the last to arrive. What'd you do, wet the bed?''

She teased mischievously, not being able to resist. She and Reid had a point, Morgan tended to stroll into work after everyone else, but just in time to grab a coffee, sit at his desk for five minutes and then head into the briefing room as JJ's summons.

''Oh you think you're so funny!''

Emily merely shrugged lightly, moving off and over toward her desk. She looked at Reid as he began fussing over something in his satchel, and became curious immediately. She always wondered what he carried around all of the time in that satchel of his. Sometimes, she didn't think he carried anything at all, when he didn't need to. She thought that it was his version of a grown up safety blanket.

''What'cha got in the bag, Spencer?''

She wondered, gaining his attention. As he looked up, he got this incredibly sweet but dorky glimmer in his eyes as he bounced on the balls of his feet eagerly.

''Oh, I went to a comic convention this weekend. I got some cool new concepts, they're really very unique.''

He answered excitedly, obviously glad to share.

''Ooooh, show me!''

Morgan, still standing against the kitchenette counter, rolled his eyes as he looked rather put off watching Emily practically leap to Reid's side, gaining a geeky look of her own. He shook his head, almost disappointed, as he watched them start to chatter about it, as Reid pointed at the comic, telling Emily all about it.

''Oh my god!''

For her part, JJ had been sat at her desk combing through her files. Since she had left on Friday afternoon, four more had appeared. She had been gone for two days, and four cases were screaming out for her attention. As she sat in her chair, rubbing her forehead as she glanced around her office, she was taken back by the sheer amount of files she had stacked in there. Oddly enough, she knew what each stack was and where it was going. She kept scarily good track of the cases that landed at her feet. She had to. But she also had to go through the four new ones before she touched any other ones, so she knew who to give them to and if any of them warranted the primary teams presence.

At the last case, JJ sat with her elbow propped on her desk so she could support her head with her hand, as she grimaced slightly. The pictures struck her immediately, the details too harrowing to hand off to any of the none SSA's. This was definitely their case. The same case that she had been pulled out of sleep about on Saturday morning. With a sigh, she reached for her phone and dialled quickly the number she read off the report. It only rang twice before it was picked up. JJ then got the distinct impression that her call was being waited for.

''Hi, this is Agent Jareau from the BAU; we talked on the phone on Saturday morning? Yes Sir. I received your case file and I've been going through it this morning. I just wanted to let you know that I'm going to present it to the team in about…an hour. No, there's not much doubt we'll be there. I can contact you after, to let you know though. Erm, okay, can you give me his number? Captain Rosenberg, got it. Yes, Jennifer Jareau, you can pass on my number if he wants to contact me. Okay, thanks. You're welcome. Goodbye.''

Disconnecting the call, JJ took in a deep breath as she starred at the number she had written down. Then, her eyes moved over toward the pictures of the victims again. Their eyes begging her to help them. It was going to be one of those cases, she could tell. But she knew she only had an hour to get ready. She needed to assign the other cases to the other Agent's at her disposal, matching the details of them to their particular specialities. She chose to forego giving any to the main team, they already had their work cut out for them.

''Looks like we're off to the Garden State.''

**10:10am**

Each member of the most elite profiling team sat at their round table, minus one. Everyone, including Penelope Garcia, sat in their usual seats, looking between one another aimlessly. It was a rare day that JJ was late to her own briefings, and usually, she had a rather good reason. Or rather, a usually bad reason, considering where they worked. Still, the team began to get restless, having already waited to be briefed on their new cases for ten minutes. Just as Gideon checked is watch though, having been about to suggest someone go hunt down the one woman who actually knew what they were about to work on, JJ strode into the room carrying a stack of files along with her. Immediately, each and every one of them picked up on her air of grim professionalism and urgency.

''Sorry I'm late; I just got off the phone with New Jersey PD. I'll explain why in a moment, first I'd like to get you up to speed with the case.''

JJ apologised and bulldozed on quickly, unwilling to trade in any banter at the moment. She wasn't wearing this grim expression for nothing, and it had been difficult for her to know how to even start the briefing. After she handed out the files she carried to everyone, she tapped a couple of keys on the computer, updating it with the newer information she had just received since she had been here last to set up.

''So what's kicking in New Jersey JJ?''

Morgan wondered, his light tone fooling no one. He looked at his friend as she turned around from the computer, an eyebrow arched as she picked up the remote.

''Nothing remotely good.''

Turning slightly to the screen, at an angle where she could also see everyone else who were currently skimming through their given files, she pressed one of the buttons, immediately making five images of different women pop up onto the screen. The pictures set all in a straight line, side by side.

''Okay, over the stretch of 3 years, 5 women have been discovered. Only, the killings seemed to have started in 05 when three of the bodies were found. Then nothing in 06 only to have the two other bodies found this year. All between 26 and 30. All redheads, pretty, smart, no other real connection so far. Laura Wilks, Ashley Kent, Maria Torres, Hillary Petersburg and Julie Suarez.''

She began, her tone at the height of seriousness and professional. At catching a movement in the corner of her eye, the blonde looked around as Emily lifted her hand up slightly in order to get noticed as she frowned into her file, not looking up from reading it.

''So the killings started, escalated, stopped, started and escalated again?''

She summed up in her question, obviously surprised and confused, not hiding the slight squeak in her voice.

''Isn't that like, freaky odd?''

Garcia wondered, sharing Emily's frown and confusion. She had been in this unit long enough to know when something was out of the ordinary. And this was most definitely out of the ordinary. The petite blonde looked up as Gideon nodded in response to her, peering from the file and around the table then up to JJ.

''Very. What makes NJPD think these women are linked together?''

Hesitating with her response, JJ clicked her remote and indicated toward the screen again. This time, the pictures of five smiling women were replaced by those of gruesome crime scene photos that changed each time she clicked the remote. The disturbing images made everyone grimace slightly, but especially Garcia who let out a meek gasp/squeal as she looked down at the table quickly.

''The amount of extensive torture. All five women, exactly the same. Whipped, raped, strangled and stabbed. There are friction burn marks on their wrists and ankles, indicating restraint. Also, a burn in the centre of their foreheads. It looks like some sort of ring design. Sir…these women…they're being hoisted up and lashed almost to the point of death.''

JJ couldn't help but let her professional demeanour waver slightly, letting it be shown just how ghastly she felt about these string of murders. Briefly, she imagined what these poor women had been through and shuddered. Every murder was abhorrent to her. It made her sick, which was why she did what she did. But there was something so distinctively creepy about this one, and she hadn't even told them everything yet.

''And when he strangled them almost enough, he slices them open to finish the job. And they're being branded.''

Hotchner added, his tone as staunch and unflinching as ever.

''Yeah, it seems that way. However, there's two more things that make this case even freakier than 'freaky odd'.''

JJ warned, earning herself a round of exasperated looks.

''There's _more_?''

Emily voiced for the whole team, both eyebrows quirked in morbid curiosity but also with a cringe that signalled she wasn't actually sure if she wanted to hear this. She didn't have to be JJ's girlfriend to know what the look she was wearing now was a very bad one.

''A week ago, Kate Anderson was discovered in a quiet subway station that doesn't have any traffic throughout the night. Completely naked, with injuries that seemed to at the time match the other victims. Only on further inspection by the M.E, there were discrepancies. Other than the fact that she's three years older than the oldest victim, and also blonde rather than redheaded.''

JJ began to fill in, clicking some more pictures up on the monitor for them to see.

''Says here the wounds on her back were done by a knife? No whip this time.''

As Morgan chimed in, pulling details out of the file, JJ put the close ups of said discrepancies up so they could see the differences.

''Exactly. She was raped with some sort of foreign object, too. Beaten more than the others and also, the burn mark on the forehead, it's different. Almost the same, but not quite.''

Everyone looked at the side by side view of the two burn marks, which were clearly different designs burnt into the foreheads of these unfortunate victims. Hotchner frowned deeply, flailing a hand in the air.

''What the hell? The burn from the ring is obviously a signature. They're not supposed to change.''

Drawing in a breath, JJ widened her eyes briefly.

''Well, hold onto your hats folks. The reason I was late was because another body was found around an hour ago.''

Clicking once again, the picture on the monitor caused a collective gasp through the room. Which had been exactly the way she had reacted. At first, she hadn't believed she had been sent the right information. She had actually asked the Captain that had called her, as she'd been halfway out of her office door, if he had accidentally emailed her the wrong case file.

''Detective Robson Delly, age 35. Lashes to the back, sodomised, gutted and branded on the forehead. The same brand as the other five women before Kate Anderson.''

Morgan gained the attention of his team as he dropped his pen down, sitting back in his seat with a truly stunned look across his face as he began to wiggle his hand about in the air.

''Whoa, whoa…a guy? All those women and then he goes after a guy? Gideon, Hotch, you got any ideas because I'm drawing a blank.''

Morgan, Reid, Garcia, Emily and JJ all looked toward the two older, more experienced profilers almost like they were looking at their parents for answers. But the two men looked between each other uncertainly, not managing to come up with an answer between them. When even the teams leaders had not even a theory or suggestion in mind, their younger colleagues knew it was really bad.

''I'm not sure. But we're going to find out. Wheels up in 30 minutes, we hit the ground running with this one.''

Hotchner ordered, uncomfortable with the concept that he couldn't immediately think of something on this. As he began to stand up, signalling to the others that they could move, JJ gestured in his direction, suddenly halting everyone's movements as they looked almost afraid that she was about to interject more weird details.

''One more thing? The press coverage on this one is _huge_.''

''Unsurprising. Do they know everything?''

Gideon asked thoughtfully, still mulling over the case details.

''So far, the signature burn and the lashings has been kept quiet.''

''Good, do your best to keep it like that. You know what to do.''

''Yes Sir.''

JJ nodded firmly, already thinking up ways of how exactly she would be keeping those particular details out of the press. Her mind immediately pulled out names in her mental filing system, of the reporters she knew in New Jersey. The ones that owed her favours, the ones that she knew she could intimidate into shutting up, and the ones she knew she could squeeze information out of if needs be. She began thinking of a plan she would immediately affect in order to deal with them, so they would feel satisfied at being addressed and think they had all the details of the story. In actual fact, she would simply give them enough to be happy, leaving everyone free to investigate in peace. And upon thinking on the investigation itself, JJ began to search for her own theories and suggestions as she followed everyone out of the door.

**New Jersey**

**Wednesday**

**11:55pm**

''She…she didn't really want to leave me, you know? She just didn't understand, at first. About the other women, you know?''

Anderson spoke pitifully, an almost child like sadness reaching his voice. He sniffled, looking across at JJ with a manically pathetic expression in his chaotic eyes. She nodded, but chose to remain silent.

''But I couldn't let her go, she had to understand. Women…they get under your skin. Do bad things to your brain. Bad things to your soul. Like her…''

His tone drifted steadily from sadness to bitterness, cantering along to anger as he shoved Emily a little bit, making JJ flinch. Quickly, she managed to clamp her mouth shut and stop her body from charging toward him, remembering once again that she had to remain cool and collected. She had to stand here, watching Emily so badly injured, with no gun, listening to a deranged, twisted little man complain that his wife dared to leave him. It took every inch of will power within her to remain silent.

''She wasn't like that though. She was pure. She was so beautiful, like a drop of sunshine. You're like that too. God you look so much like her. That's why I knew I could talk to you. You won't pollute my mind, will you?''

As she looked at her, affectionately, JJ felt her skin try to crawl off her body and leave. It actually pained her that he had found some kind of comfort within her. That he actually felt connected to her, safe with her. She in no way wanted to provide that for him. She didn't want him to look at her like that, like she was some sort of saving grace to him. The only thing that made her swallow that, was because Emily was at stake. And the irony hit her of what she had thought during the weekend. The thought that had crossed her mind that she would walk through fire for her lover. Well, here was that fire she had to walk through.

''No Sir.''

Anderson smiled lightly, pleased and relieved with the answer. Like he was thankful to JJ, just for being her. And also a self satisfied look, saying that somewhere in his head he was congratulating himself for knowing she was different and getting her in here.

''What's your name again?''

''Jennifer.''

Right then, JJ wished she could have lied. As soon as she said her name, she wanted to pull it back in. It felt wrong, him knowing it. It felt wrong that he smirked pleasantly, looking at her like they were old friends or something.

''Jennifer. That's nice. Not as nice as Kate, but still nice. Names are important. They define you. Like yours. Did you know it derives from the Welsh name Guinevere? Fair and white.''

He offered freely, off the back of his hand, suggesting to her that he had an odd fascination with names. Now the thought of this moment would never leave her. Now every time she thought about her name, she would remember that a killer had told her ever so politely what it meant, after he had kept her girlfriend hostage for a whole day and tortured her. She felt that anger stir within her chest and stomach again.

''No, I didn't know that.''

''Kate comes from a shortening of Katherine. It means _pure_. And she was, so very pure.''

As he thought about his wife once more, a couple of tears slid from his eyes as he sniffled again. For a brief moment, he was lost in his grief. But only for a moment. Reality quickly started washing grief to resentment as he regained himself. With a sneer, he lifted up his gun again, holding it tighter as he pressed it against Emily's head firmly once more.

''And her? Emily you said? You know what that is? Huh? It's _rival_. Her name means rival. She's not pure, or fair. She's here to do bad things.''

He began to yell angrily, like he had just realised a new fact that made her guilty. Seeing that go through his eyes, JJ shook her head vigorously, holding out a hand as she took half a step forward, worried he was going to fly off the handle.

''No, Mr Anderson, no. Wait. Think about this, please. She came to help your wife, remember? She came to investigate what happened to her. That's why you saw her with Detective Dolton. She was the one that told us what happened. She's the one that knew first, Mr Anderson.''

That anger she had been feeling, trying to suppress, seeped into her voice as she raised it to him. JJ felt the change in the atmosphere, like things had suddenly just gotten a hell of a lot worse. Anderson was ready to pull that trigger, and she could tell he was going to do it soon.

''_No_! She blames me. Like everyone else. I did it. I did it all. I killed them, and now she's…she's gone…''

Shaking his head, he began to struggle to pull himself together after confusing himself over what he was saying. Like he just could not accept the reality that surrounded him, as though his brain had completely shut itself off from the truth.

''Do you know what it feels like, Jennifer? To have someone so pure in your life? Someone you love so much, that it made everything else seem insignificant? Just, completely pales in comparison to anyone or anything else, making it all fade away.''

He demanded, the gun he was gripping still seeming like it was the biggest thing in the room since it was pointed at Emily's head. JJ wanted to scream at him, scream that that person for her was the woman he was threatening to kill. She wanted to make him realise that if he killed her, she would feel as empty and useless as he did without his wife. He would be destroying her, too.

''Yes, I know what that feels like.''

She responded in a firm but hushed and angry whisper, glaring at him furiously. She couldn't. She just could not tell him who Emily was to her. It would endanger her life, and JJ didn't want him to know. She wanted to keep it as far away from him as possible, keep it safe and clean. But this, this was getting her nowhere. She had been disarmed, he had not relented in his belief Emily was his enemy. In fact, he had seemed to convince himself even more that she needed to be eliminated. Clearly, negotiation was not working, and wasn't going to. So JJ did the only thing she knew she could, and that was to let the anger fill her up. She began to let it seep throughout her, unmistakable and truly powerful. She would use that anger, it would help her. She needed it for the plan that formed in her head. A plan that was probably ill advised, but was pretty much her only option right about now.

''She…she tried to leave. But she was only confused; I know she felt it too. I just had to make her understand, that's all. I had to convince her to stay. She made things better. But…I'm not…I can't be responsible.''

Now full armed with her fury, her anger as a protective girlfriend, friend and FBI Agent, JJ looked upon him with sheer disgust as she sniggered at him.

''Yes, you are.''


	5. Safety Net

**5) Safety Net**

''_Trust the instinct to the end, though you can render no reason.'' _Ralph Waldo Emerson

**On route to New Jersey**

**Monday, 9:345am**

Unusually, the plane was subdued, a quiet lull hitting it. The members of the team, mainly sat by themselves, had buried their heads into their case files, frowning in thought as they read them over again and again. Hotchner was heard sighing now and then, as he scowled at his file as though it was its fault he was so confounded. He had his paperwork strategically set out on the table before him. Gideon was sat opposite him, sitting sideways so he was stretched out slightly across the two chairs. He too was oddly quiet, also stumped on the facts that JJ had provided them. It seemed that her statement earlier had been exactly right, nothing remotely good was happening in New Jersey. When not one of a team of profilers could suggest anything, then the city was in serious trouble.

Reid, who was sat on the chair behind Hotchner's, frowned as he stared out of the window, no longer needing the closed file in front of him to go through the facts. His brain scanned through the details, trying to piece them together like a jigsaw. But every time he thought he was about to get a whole picture, he found a piece that just refused to fit. It was extremely annoying for the boy wonder. Morgan was much in the same way, sitting on the other side of the isle. He had decided to put his music on, hoping that it would help him relax a little so he could think easier. After all, sometimes the answers came to you when you weren't thinking about the question. But nothing at all was coming to him. He simply looked up, offering a rather weak smile at JJ as she walked past him, giving him a warm smile in return before she continued on down the isle.

At the back, opposite the long couch type seat, Emily had sat herself in the corner chair and had taken to gazing out of the window to the clouds. Sometimes there were breaks in the fluffy white shapes, letting her see the world below. She wondered sometimes, when they were high up in their jet, if anyone below suspected that the plane flying high above them was on route to catch a serial killer. It must have been bliss, to be so ignorant sometimes. They were so very unaware of the depravity people had to offer. And sometimes, only sometimes, she envied them of it. In the face of such a horrific case, as they always were, the normalcy she had felt this weekend evaporated instantly. 

''Well, Captain Rosenberg almost proposed to me he's so happy we're flying up there!''

JJ said softly as she got close enough for Emily to hear her. Due to the lack of response, the blonde looked up after looking at her phone she was still holding, and slipped into the seat across from the brunette. Instantly, she noticed the thoughtful look in dark eyes, the one that had made her completely lose herself as she stared out of the window. There was a soft but distinct furrow of her forehead, and a withdrawn, slightly sullen and worried look tracing her beautiful features. Her file sat on her lap, although it was closed. It was the look though, that JJ recognised. One way or another, she always recognised it, in or out of work. Mostly in work, after they had seen another harrowing image. Another body, another broken family, another child that would grow up without a loved one in their lives. Or when something got into Emily's head. A fact, something said by someone or the unsub themselves. JJ knew her girlfriend grappled with the question of just how different killers and profilers were from each other. And that was the kind of heavy look she had in her eyes now.

''Em, you okay?''

Nudging Emily with her foot gently, automatically knowing words alone wouldn't be enough to gain her attention, JJ waited patiently as she tucked her foot under her again as the older woman in front of her blinked slowly, starting to come back into reality. As she looked around, eyes adjusting to the different light in the plane, and realising JJ was waiting expectantly with a concerned look flooding her features, she smiled rather unconvincingly.

''Huh? Oh, yeah. I'm sorry I completely zoned out there. What were you saying?''

She uttered lightly, hoping that the ruse would work. Although, with the look JJ gave her as she tipped her head sideways, clearing not buying it, she wasn't going to be that lucky. It wasn't often that she would go out of her way to try and hide something, not from JJ. But she didn't want to burden her this time. She didn't want to come off as weak, or over protective or anything like that. But there was a feeling carving itself into the pit of her stomach, and she couldn't make it go away.

''Emily Prentiss, don't you dare try fobbing me off with that charming smile. What's wrong?''

Giving her girlfriend the best 'this is me, don't even try it' look, JJ watched as Emily sighed softly. Briefly, the heavy look wavered, letting a more amused and also thankful look appear for a moment. Then, it subsided and slipped back into the worryingly heavy look. And for a moment, JJ didn't think Emily was going to actually say anything. She opened her mouth, taking in a small breath before hesitating and closing her mouth again. Licking her lips slowly as she frowned, clearly grappling with what she should say, and whether she should be honest about it, she finally opened her mouth to speak again.

''She looked a lot like you.''

After letting her eyes duck for a moment, Emily looked back up at JJ as the words left her mouth. Her tone was still quiet, soft almost, in complete disparity from what was going on inside of her. In her head, her thoughts were loud. They whirled around her head, not only trying to put pieces together about the case, not only trying to figure out what this ominous feeling was in her gut and not only already missing the time spent with her girlfriend and friends this weekend. There were thoughts there too, making themselves known loud and clear, something that hadn't been mentioned by anyone. And from JJ's confused frown, she herself hadn't even picked it up.

''Who looks like me?''

''The last female victim, Kate Anderson. I mean, _really_ like you.''

Emily reiterated, surprised slightly that the blonde hadn't realised it. She thought maybe JJ had indeed noticed but put it away somewhere in order to get on with her job. She saw a lot of victims in the files on her desk. Every single one of them. And a disturbingly large number of those victims were women. There were probably a lot of them that looked like her, or someone she knew. 

''I guess she did. But she isn't me, and I'm right here and I'm fine.''

Letting out another sigh, which came out a little more irritable sounding than she had intended, Emily nodded once firmly.

''I know that. I just…its jarring, seeing signs of someone you love in the dead face of a murder victim. I don't have a good feeling about this case.''

And she really didn't. She just couldn't figure out why she had such a bad feeling. It wasn't like none of them hadn't had these feelings before. But Emily had to note that the one she felt now, was slightly different from all the others she had had. Whether it was because of this last victim looking a lot like JJ, or something else, she couldn't work out. She felt like a dog chasing its own tail as her thoughts moved around her head. Her eyes peered out of the window again as she let out a slow breath, almost physically feeling the distance closing in between them and New Jersey. As she turned back, with yet another sigh, Emily forced herself to push the thoughts out of her head and put a lid as best she could on the strange feeling in her gut. There was nothing she could do about it, and if it was being caused by similarities of the last victim, she needed to pull herself together. So she decided to focus on something else, rather than let a dark rain cloud hang over her head.

''You know, I think we should say something to Gideon and Hotchner. About us?''

She murmured softly, glancing over to the two studious older men sitting in the middle of the plane deep in thought. After she had said it, she bit her bottom lip lightly, before moving her eyes back to JJ to gage her reaction. 

''What, you haven't had enough of that this weekend with your Mother?''

The blonde replied humorously, letting the brink of a smile cover her lips as her penetrating blue eyes sparkled sweetly yet mischievously. Her smile widened slightly as she watched Emily do the same.

''I know, the last thing I should want to do is go through all of that again. But, I just think it's for the best. We're not children, Jen. We don't play games. It'll make our lives so much easier if they knew.''

She pointed out level headedly, figuring that the bonuses would outweigh the downfalls. The downfalls being that Hotchner was supposed to stop, or report, inter unit fraternization. But then, Hotchner wasn't as exactly by the book as he appeared to be. He had never reported Elle Greenaway's possible outright murder of a suspect after she had been cleared. And he had never reported Reid's trouble with the drugs he had been shot full of during his terrifying time in Atlanta. And Emily would dare to wager that there would be a few other things that Hotchner had decided to keep under his hat too. She felt pretty confident he would endeavour to protect them.

''Okay. Well, when we get back we'll tell them.''

''Yeah?''

JJ frowned ever so softly, not expecting Emily to be surprised by her agreeing it was a good idea. After all, Emily had made a compelling argument for the cause, and she had known Hotchner even longer than the brunette. She knew he would protect them. Probably after the long assed lecture they would get about not letting their personal life interfere with the job, and to remain professional at all times, especially in a crisis situation involving either of them. That would come first, of course.

''You thought I would disagree?''

Emily shrugged casually, shaking her head as she did.

''No, not exactly. I just guess I'm still shocked sometimes.''

''Shocked about what?''

''That you see something in me that makes you want to stick around. Haven't had much experience with that.''

Looking down for a moment, Emily reflected on the vast and varied amount of times like that that she had experienced during her life. Some of it was her own fault, because she had flat out refused to let her guard down. She had fled from commitment, or suddenly realised that she wasn't happy in her situation. Other times, it hadn't been her fault. It had been someone else to run, or just outright hurt her, once or twice in the cruellest of ways. Experiences that still haunted her, still hurt her when she thought about them. Making her worry sometimes that history would repeat itself.

''Hey, look at me.''

Knowing that relentless and determined tone in JJ's voice, the one that told her that if she didn't look up she would be made to, she decided to do as she was told. Only she looked up into the softest of gazes, with the strongest of backbone behind it. Endless promise glittered within those shining pools, firm in their belief and determined to show it. It wasn't as though she thought JJ was going to hurt her like that, she really didn't. But who hadn't let their past experiences bite at them sometimes, bringing all of that back to the surface?

''You're going to be putting up with me for a very long time. Got it?''

JJ spoke with the same firm, yet indescribably softness that her eyes shone with. Unyielding and completely heartfelt. There was absolutely no doubt in Emily's mind that she would indeed be 'putting up' with JJ for a long time, and there was not one single better thought she had ever had. 

''Yeah, I got it.''

Smiling triumphantly, JJ nodded; as though she was proud she had got that completely clear and stopped any kind of fret about it.

''Good. You know, if we weren't on this plane right now, I'd kiss you.''

That sparkle of mischievousness entered JJ's eyes again, the one that Emily had realised not long after she had met the blonde, didn't stray too far for too long. It was embedded in there, and it had been one of the first things Emily had noticed about JJ's eyes. Besides how brightly they shone. How it went unnoticed by so many people she had no idea.

''Do it anyway!''

Joining in the now mischievous banter and raising it a stake, she wiggled her eyebrows suggestively, with an impish smirk tugging at her lips. Especially as JJ raised both her eyes brows, offering a look that was silently calling her a smartass.

''Funny!''

''Anyone want a coffee?''

At the mention of coffee, JJ attention was promptly stolen at Reid's offer as he stood up from his seat. Her head shot up immediately over the back of her chair like a little mere cat, making everyone chuckle lightly. 

''Every damn second of every damn day!''

After JJ had been sufficiently teased about her addiction to coffee, a fact that she couldn't contradict if she tried, the team settled down again. They began to talk between each other sporadically, noticing bits and pieces about the case that they thought was worth a mention. It didn't take too much longer before they were buckling their seatbelts again for landing, and then they found themselves in the State of New Jersey. They got their stuff together, piling into their cars and heading for the police station, once again in silence. Which then was a great contradiction to the hustle and bustle they walked into upon arriving, walking into the bullpen and looking around, not realising that their presence had surprised a few people into going still and quiet. All but one cocky looking guy, who edged toward them wearily.

''Can I help you?''

The man demanded sharply, looking at them with an already contemptuous sneer. He was an imposing looking man, tall and filled out. His attitude was easily spotted, and probably could have been from a mile away. He scowled at the Agent's, who were all lined next to each other apart from JJ, who stood out before them, almost like she was leading them.

''We're the BAU from the FBI. Are you Captain Rosenberg?''

The blonde frowned, her head drawing back as she got a wave of discomfort that flowed from the man in front of her. She felt frustration flare inside of her stomach as he looked at her, arching an eyebrow as he clearly wondered why a woman like her was addressing him. Thankfully though, she spotted an older man rushing out of an office in the far corner aiming their way. He looked slightly dishevelled and tired, his shirt sleeves rolled up and his suit jacket absent. 

''No, that would be me.''

He corrected, moving to step in front of his pissy Detective and offer a hand out toward JJ politely. 

''Jennifer Jareau, we spoke on the phone. These are SSA's Gideon, Morgan, Prentiss, Hotchner and Dr Reid. Is there somewhere we can set up?''

Reeling off everyone's names in turn, hardly having to look behind her to remember their positions, JJ decided to lose the preamble and get right to it. It seemed that this case was going to be one of those that they couldn't waste a single moment on. Not that they ever did waste time, but sometimes there would be nothing to be done until the morning broke, or they discovered something new. This however, was so damn confusing that they needed to set up as quickly as they could so they could work through it.

''Whoa, whoa. You called the _FBI_?''

The Detective made his presence known again, glaring at his Captain as he moved around to the side of him, unwilling to be kept out of sight. It didn't take any effort to see how pissed off he was, as he again, sneered at them before challenging the older man. Clearly, there was no love loss between them as they squared off to one another.

''Yeah, I did.'' 

''This is _my _case.''

''Not anymore Dolton.''

Feeling the space become more and more tense, and fearing something was about to snap, Gideon raised his hand to gain both irritated men's' attention. They didn't have the time for this pissing contest.

''Actually, we're only here to assist. Your men will still make any arrests.''

He pointed out, receiving a timely grunt from the disgruntled Detective Dolton.

''You're damn right.''

After giving Dolton an off look, Captain Rosenberg indicated for the Agent's to follow him across the bullpen, where he lead them toward a side room that looked big enough to provide them with a good working space.

''You guys can take this room; I took the liberty of pulling everything we've got together for you.''

He gestured toward the boxes on the large table, sitting readily for them.

''Thank you, that'll help.''

Hotchner nodded on his way past the Captain as he stepped into the room, followed by the rest of the team barring JJ, who still stood in the doorway facing Rosenberg. 

''Thank you for accepting the case. Not that you're going to get a warm and fuzzy welcome from those guys.''

''It's not something we're unaccustomed to, don't worry.''

JJ shook her head softly as she flicked a hand, feeling somewhat sorry for the overworked looking man and what he had to put up with. There had been plenty of times when someone in the local authorities didn't want them there, but there was something particularly unpleasant about Detective Dolton.

''Good, I'll leave you guys to do your work. I'll be in my office when you need me.''

He pointed back behind him, making sure JJ knew which office it was, before he closed the door behind him on his way out as she started inside. When the blonde turned around, she saw that everyone had begun to dive into the boxes, dividing the information up between themselves. She blinked at the amount of papers they were all holding, or had been strewn out in front of them. But then her focus was stolen by Emily, who was still stood up and rooting through some of her papers, grimacing as she lifted them up unhappily.

''Look at all this crap. I don't think I've come across a report yet that's actually been filled out properly.''

She grumbled, a soft tone of disbelief mixed with exasperation as Morgan gave a grunt in agreement, making her look across the table at him. 

''How the hell are we supposed to work this with sloppy information?''

He demanded, wiggling his own wad of paper in the air. 

''We start from square one.''

The suggestion was pretty much the only one Gideon had to offer. They had no choice; this case was bad enough without being greeted with a complicated wall of paper.

''Gideon and I will go out to the latest murder site and see what we come up with. Reid, I want you going over all the information and see what you can piece together, also come up with a geographical profile. Prentiss, I want you working the Anderson angle and see what you come up with. Have the lead Detective help you. Morgan, JJ, speak to the families.'' 

Hotchner had given them their orders in such a rapid fire manner, that all he received where stunned nods of agreements before he turned quickly and marched out of the room with Gideon in tow. However, after the two had departed, Reid sighed, sitting down slowly as he looked over the scattered mountain of paperwork.

''Yey for me.''

He muttered glumly, feeling the distinct need for coffee already.

''Hey, at least you get to stay here. Looks like I'm teaming up with Detective Not-So-Delightful out there.''

Emily mused, peering out of the open doorway and screwing up her nose as she looked at the Detective in question. As soon as she had clapped eyes on him, she knew there was something she just didn't like. He made her skin crawl, and there was something in his eyes that made her shiver uncomfortably. 

''You alright with that? I can catch Hotch and see if we can swap?''

Gesturing toward the doorway, Morgan looked like he was indeed ready to go and catch their supervisor up and request the change in assignment. Inwardly, it made Emily smile. Morgan was a good guy, who was just trying to make sure his friend wasn't uncomfortable. There was absolutely nothing more to it than just wanting to help her out. He didn't think she couldn't take it, didn't belittle her in anyway. Not like some people would have. Emily wondered sometimes, just how the Bureau managed to stay on its feet, with all of its back stabbing, competitiveness and underhanded politics. She herself had been witness to countless office politics and sabotage. Just over ten years and it was hard to miss.

''No, I can handle it. Besides, I think he picked me for a reason.''

She speculated slowly, a small frown covering her forehead but a weak smile flashing gratefully toward Morgan. Emily had learnt to spot the signs when Hotchner was doing something for a specific reason. These seemed to be one of those times. Evidently, he had picked up on the Detective's attitude too, and he had mentioned already that this was his case. The way he had looked at JJ had tipped her off that he wasn't exactly in the way of thinking women were equal. No, Hotchner had definitely wanted her for a reason.

'Kay, good luck. Let's do this JJ.''

Satisfied with Emily's answer, Morgan nodded and then turned to his assigned partner before slipping his sunglasses on. JJ nodded, looking ready to get going. The two of them waved goodbye casually, heading out toward the door together as Reid and Emily returned the gesture before they both looked back at the heap of paperwork scattered across the desk. For her part, Emily didn't exactly relish the fact she was with the obnoxious Detective, but she didn't really envy Reid of his task either. She began to think about the facts she had been presented with. The ones that seemed to flow, the 

odd ones, and figured that it was indeed best to go about investigating them differently for now. Rubbing her forehead, Emily thought about what she needed to do. How she needed to approach not only her assignment, but also Detective Dolton.

''I'm gunna start with the morgue, considering this victim is so different. Work my way from there. I'll catch you later.''

Figuring it was probably the best place to start; Emily waved distractedly at Reid, who had already begun to submerge himself in sorting out the papers, and headed out into the bullpen. Mustering every single tactic she had learnt over the years to hide what she was thinking and feeling from people, and determined to figure out what exactly was giving her the wiggins about Dolton, she strode over to him and requested his accompaniment. The pure lecherous yet misogynistic way he stared at her was enough to make her gag, but she tucked it away carefully, showing no signs of such a reaction. This is when her compartmentalizing skills came in handy. After he had said goodbye to his heckling cronies, she followed him out to the front of the station toward his car. Putting off the inevitable, which was actually having to talk to him, she pulled out her phone instead and dialled a familiar number.

''Speak and be recognised, mortal.''

Garcia's cheery tone floated down the line, instantly making Emily feel better. 

''Hey Garcia, its Em.''

''Aww, Princess Gorgeous, what can my unparalleled magic genius do for you today?''

Smirking widely at both Garcia's recent choice of nickname for her and the bold but rather accurate statement of herself, Emily chuckled softly as Dolton pulled the car out onto the road. She was still acutely aware of his imposing presence, but it was getting a little easier to deal with. She didn't scare easily.

''Could you go hunting for information on Kate Anderson for me, I need to figure out why the unsub broke away from his type, method _and_ signature.'' 

''Anything specific in mind, or one big information dump?''

''Anything you can find, really.''

''Got it. I will send out the bat signal when I have something for you my precious.''

''Thanks Garcia, you're the best.'' 

Disconnecting the call with a smirk, Emily thought briefly about her eccentric friend. She always enjoyed talking to Garcia, even if it was about a case. She had studied languages and linguistics for a long time, but never had she come across anyone that spoke like Penelope Garcia. So flamboyant in her vocabulary and not even having to try. Emily took the chance to pick up on it as much as she could; she never got board of hearing people speak, especially when it was set apart to everyone else.

''What exactly do you guys think you can find that we haven't already?''

Dolton broke through her thoughts, his gruff, East coast accent jarring her back to reality. She could practically feel his defensive walls. 

''We're not here to find something you haven't found, Detective. We're here because we're specialised in analysing behaviour.'' 

As she spoke the party line, Emily found herself for once, not believing in it. Usually, that was the case. They didn't want to barge in to an investigation and take over, flaunting that they could do better. That's not what they were about. They didn't like to do it. In this case however, she thought it was different. They were here to find out something they hadn't, simply because of the seemingly crappy police work that had been given to this case. The fact that she would get a kick out of pissing this jack ass off when they did break the case was an incidental bonus that she was looking forward to.

''So?''

''So studying what we call victimology and studying the unsubs behaviour, understanding his motivations, his need to brutalise and kill…we put all of that into a profile that helps us find him.'' 

Dolton grunted disbelievingly, shaking his head as he turned a corner in the road.

''No offence honey but…''

''Agent Prentiss.''

Emily corrected, managing to keep her irritation only half hidden. She was prepared to put up with him on the investigation, she was prepared to profile him and pull bits of information out of him because it was a means to an end. She also intended to ask why he had done such a piss poor job so far, when the time was right. It was fine. She would put up with the discomfort of that for the case. She was an adult; she was a capable woman and a very capable FBI Agent. But like hell would she let him get into a pattern of calling her names like that. Not because they tended to offend her, they didn't. She had been called honey or sweetheart or doll or some such name by the people she dealt with before. She just didn't like the way he said it.

''What?''

''My name isn't '_honey'_, its Agent Prentiss. Drop the Agent if you want, just don't call me honey.''

Looking across at him, Emily could already see that she had spoken in vain. But she could also see he was overcompensating. He didn't know what to do with the fact that she was confronting him. That was good; she had started to get under his skin.

''Hit a nerve there or somethin' _sweetheart_?''

Yet as he chuckled, picking up in his 'manly bravado', she couldn't help but sigh and rub the bridge of her nose.

''It's going to be a _long_ day.''

Emily had no real idea just how true that would turn out to be. It was close to 5pm when she finally dragged herself back to the precinct, scowling profoundly as she stalked her way through the bullpen. Neither she nor Dolton exchanged words as they separated, him heading off back to his three buddies as she made a bee line toward the side room she had left so long ago. She was so wound up that she took little relief as she set foot inside, quickly shutting the door behind her as if in an effort to protect herself from more of Dolton's antagonistic behaviour. Sighing tiredly, she looked at everyone as they all peered up from their work.

''Hey.''

Morgan frowned, lifting up his watch wrist quickly.

''Wow girl, you've been gone like, _all _day.''

Emily blanched, struggling to pull off her suit jacket as she began to walk around to the only seat available at the table slowly.

''It's only been a day? 'Cos a few hours with Prince Charming out there feels like a year in hell.''

Immediately, Reid jumped up and pranced over to the coffee pot that had appeared since she had been gone, making quick work of pouring her out a cup and placing it in front of her as she sat down. Looking up at him, she smiled gratefully yet tiredly as she wrapped her hands around it.

''Thank you.''

Lifting the cup up to her lips to take a sip, the brunette began to take notice of the large white board standing in the room, with familiar writings squiggled all over it in different colours as well as a rudimentary timeline. Stuck to the side of it was a map with bits and pieces coloured in carefully. Next to that white board stood another, with bits of paper stood to it in a Reid like orderly fashioned way.

''Wow, that's some progress you've made there.''

''Not as helpful as you might think.''

Hotchner countered glumly, also looking toward the boards. Not that Reid hadn't done a good job, he had. A great job, actually. He had managed to pull some significant information out, and make sense of it. It was the actual information itself. Most of it was inaccurate or half done, and it didn't lead them anywhere anyway.

''What'd you mean?''

''It means we haven't been able to figure this guy out. Morgan and JJ didn't come up with much talking to the families. These girls were exactly the same, yet worlds apart. They shared nothing. The half assed paperwork doesn't help us either, although Reid has done a good job putting the pieces together. But there are serious holes in each of these investigations.''

Gideon summarised, flailing a hand softly as he spoke. Clearly, the seasoned Agent was unimpressed and unhappy with everything they had found so far. 

''This is just plain weird. For the first five victims, we can work up a profile of the S.O.B that did it. It's just the last two. They throw everything out of place.''

Morgan grumbled, frowning like a pissed off bear that had been provoked to come out of hibernation early. He didn't like being lost. He didn't do uncertain. Derek Morgan was a very clear cut guy. He liked things the way he liked things. And he liked having things sorted out in his head, so he could make sense of it all. There were, of course, grey areas for everything. But he still managed to get his head around those. This, he couldn't and he didn't quite know how to deal with that.

''Did you get anything that could help in that respect today?''

Hotchner wondered, chiming in again as he looked back across the table toward Emily.

''Other than saying that Dolton has been _actively_ trying to block me this entire time, I would rather hold off on giving you my thoughts right now. At least until I've finished working my way through the information Garcia conjured up on Kate Anderson.''

She spoke carefully, thinking about the information she had already picked up. Which had been an extremely difficult. Her long day hadn't turned out to be long just because he was a sexist pig. He had actually tried to stop her from doing her job. And that, that just didn't sit right with her.

''What do you mean, Dolton was blocking you?''

Gideon picked up immediately, frowning as he watched Emily think about it to herself.

''I'm really not sure. But he seriously didn't want me poking around. I know he's pissed off because it was his case and all, but really. Something creeps me out about that guy. Plus he's a chauvinistic, racist, ageist piece of crap.''

Emily stared off into the distance, recalling some of the moments that Dolton had tried to steer her off her path. She let one of her hands slip away from her mug to flail softly in the air as she spoke, obviously perplexed by the situation. Garcia had checked in a couple of times to say her search was still on going; evidently Kate Anderson was a hard person to research. The technical analyst now had a bug about the twists and turns she had come across, determined to find out why it was so difficult. That had been the only saving grace to Emily keeping her sanity throughout the day. Having someone to talk to for a few moments, and finding out what bits Garcia had managed to pull up. She had at least started to get a picture of the victim in her minds eye, but had to fight to get the rest.

''His two buddies aren't much better. I'd like you, Gideon and I to compare our notes tomorrow morning then. Morgan, you work on the Delly murder. Reid, keep doing what you're doing. And JJ…''

Being interrupted by a knock on the door, Hotchner stopped short and turned around as Captain Rosenberg stuck his head through as he opened the door slightly.

''Sorry for interrupting. I thought you'd like to know that there is a fleet of reporters camped outside the precinct.''

JJ sighed softly, rolling her eyes as she stood up instantly, recognising her cue. She had already talked to the press, pulled out some names that she knew she could deal with. She had also intimidated and threatened pretty much every Officer in the precinct to keep their mouths shut and leave the reporters to her. Stressed how important it was to keep certain information to themselves until it became needed to share. It seemed that the reporters on this case were now eager for an update, and would no doubt go about grilling her for some new information. For some reason, she always loved that part. The back and forth between them, and the fact that she actually held all the cards, even if they thought otherwise. In all honesty, she liked to play them. And she liked that because they could be so damn smug. JJ fully believed in the freedom of speech, in being honest and arming the general public with as much information as they could. The media served as a tool do to that. But something had been lost in translation. Most of the press she dealt with wanted the glory, and it pissed her off. There was absolutely no glory in the midst of such brutality. And she was so very aware that sometimes, giving out less information was actually better, safer. 

''Agent Jareau will deal with them, thanks Captain.''

The Captain nodded, disappearing from the doorway. JJ still smirked as she picked up her suit jacket, shrugging it on quickly and pulling out her hair in one swift motion. Discretely, she glanced over at Emily, letting something shine within her eyes that she knew she would recognised. They had gotten pretty good at communicating silently when they were surrounded by other people. Carrying their own intimate language within their eyes, that no one else could break. Just through the one look, JJ told Emily that everything was okay. That she knew that the crappy day she had spent with Detective Dolton was praying on her mind, and eventually when they were alone, she would help her deal with that. Silently, she told Emily that she was there, available to be held, and that she loved her. And as she received a grateful and understanding look back from bottomless dark eyes, the blonde took a breath in and edged her way over to the door, beginning to compose herself for the battle she was about to walk into.

''Party time!''

**Hotel/diner**

**8:55pm**

After a long haul dealing with the press, who had indeed given JJ a grilling and quite the run for her money, as the rest of the team had worked to thread more pieces of the puzzle together for a few more hours, they had finally decided to call it a night and head to the hotel/diner that JJ had preliminarily booked them into. Hotchner and Gideon, having not been particularly hungry and only half eating their meal therefore making them finish first, went off from the diner to the hotel reception to organise their rooms. The four younger Agents' remained seated in their booth in wait. It was your typical little local diner, small and quite close knit. They kept receiving curious and weary glances from both staff and customers alike. No one expected the hotel to be anything close to dazzling, but it would do. It had been the nearest place to the station, and pretty much the only real option. They only needed the basics anyway, and they had survived worse things than a rubbish motel. 

''Hey look, JJ's on TV.''

Reid pointed out, almost enthusiastically, and almost like it didn't happen all the time. But the three older Agents' looked up dutifully, peering at the little dingy screen for a moment to see that JJ indeed was on TV. Again. It was part of the conference she had handled earlier, standing 

''Don't you have any ideas on this case, Spence?''

Snapping out of it, JJ was the first to break the short lull, blinking once as she turned back to Reid, not being able to care less that she was on the TV. She had gotten over that part a long time ago; it was just another part of her job is all. It never occurred to her unless someone pointed out, a friend or a family member. Other than that, it didn't even cross her mind.

''Yeah man, you're our resident genius. Figure something out.''

Morgan chimed in, making Reid widen his eyes briefly as she swallowed and nodded.

''Believe me, I'm trying. I'm actively trying to put theories and links together even as we speak.''

He pointed out, making Emily raise an eyebrow as she cringed slightly and grunted lightly. 

''Really? All I can think of is the theme tune from House!''

She scoffed, trying to suppress a yawn. It was true she had had that damn song, albeit a great one, stuck in her head for ours. They _were _in New Jersey after all. And apparently, as JJ had willingly pointed out quite a few times, she had an 'unhealthy obsession' with the show. Emily wanted to correct her girlfriend and clue her in to the real obsession, with was two certain very hot Doctors on the show! That, and it was just plain funny. Nevertheless, she cast the thoughts aside as they all snickered at her playfully, JJ shaking her head lightly before she went back to reading her file, twiddling with a strand of her hair as she did. She didn't even see Hotchner and Gideon walk back up to the table.

''Okay guys. We snagged the only 4 rooms they have left, one double one twin, and two singles, so two sets of us are going to have to double up.''

Hotchner declared, holding out said key rooms and keeping a raised eyebrow as he looked down on his co-workers. Completely distracted by something she was reading in her file, therefore on autopilot, JJ didn't even think about the response forming on her mouth as Emily took a long sip of the coffee she had left at the bottom of her mug.

''I'll sleep with Emily.''

Immediately, Emily choked on her coffee, spitting some back into the cup and coughing as the bit she swallowed went the wrong way down her throat. Never in a million years had she expected the blonde sitting next to her, in the most innocent and naturalist of ways, to come out with that. As she tried to compose herself, trying to stop coughing and patting herself on the chest, she noticed Morgan try to stifle a laugh and hide behind leaning on his fist as Reid just looked flat out alarmed as he cleared his throat. JJ herself, suddenly realising what she had said, looked up as she had the good grace to go completely red.

''I mean…I erm…I don't mind, doubling up…you know, if she doesn't?''

The usually composed communications expert stuttered, rambling out her words as she tried to back peddle her previous statement. Right now, she just wished the floor would open up and swallow her whole. How had she just come out with something like that? It was so obvious. But evidently, her head and mouth had considered it just natural. Forgetting that certain people didn't know how natural indeed, and where they were. Taking in a deep breath as she gulped, JJ peered up at her superiors, relieved that they seemed to just be looking at them blankly. They just gave her an odd look, which was better than them realising just how loaded that statement had been.

''Meet in here at 7:30.''

With that, Gideon picked up his bag and turned to leave. The unit chief tossed the keys toward the remaining four, and then left silently, obviously tired. As soon as he had stepped out of the door, Morgan burst into laughter as JJ sighed pitifully, resting her head on her hand as she shook it slowly, almost being able to see Emily turn toward her.

'''I'll sleep with Emily'? _Seriously_?''

She demanded with a squeak, flailing a hand in the air to punctuate her stunned squeak. Apparently, it was a good idea that they had decided to tell the only two people left in the unit that they were together, because something was starting to give. JJ had never made a mistake like that before, and neither had she. They had always been so careful with their words, never giving it away through anything they said. 

''I know, I know. I was distracted, it just slipped out.''

''Oh man, _that_ was funny. I'm not gunna forget your faces in a hurry, trust me.''

Still chuckling, mainly to himself now, he pointed between the two of them, looking forward to telling Garcia all about it.

''I'm glad you were amused, Derek. I was the one that nearly choked.''

Emily grumbled lightly, shooting him a murderous glare that didn't, by far, have the impact that it would have if she were serious.

''It was quite funny. But if it's any consolation, Hotch and Gideon didn't seem to catch on.''

Reid offered sweetly, obviously amused too.

''Good, because that would have been even more embarrassing than it was. Are you okay?''

Wincing somewhat guiltily, given that it had been Emily that had almost choked, JJ brought out her best 'I'm sorry, do you still love me' look shot through big blue puppy dog eyes. It usually worked, and not just on Emily. Or rather, it usually worked when it wasn't a fully fledged fight. When it was just a little something that could be cast aside, like this. Because hell hath no fury when she and Emily got into it!

''I'll live.''

Emily nodded, giving her lover a soft look that told her she was off the hook. It had been an accident, after all. JJ had really been distracted, and it's not like she could be angry at the blonde that it was natural to just say something like that. Actually, she was pretty glad about it. 

''I think we have more than one unsub.''

Reid blurted out, a thoughtful look covering his boyish features. He blinked quickly, staring down at the table as the cogs in his mind turning around the theory he had been cooking up in there. He didn't even notice the three odd looks being sent his way.

''Based on what? There's no evidence.''

Clearly not going to get any further advancement from Reid on his theory, Morgan caved first after the brief silence that floated by as they waited for him to explain.

''The two last bodies are evidence. You said it yourself, the only reason we can't come up with a profile yet is because of the last two victims. Well perhaps that's because the last two victims were killed by someone else.''

As Reid began to ramble quickly, obviously enthusiastic by his theory and becoming more certain, and also having gained Morgan and JJ's full attention, Emily just narrowed her eyes sceptically. 

''I'm…I'm not convinced.''

She muttered, becoming distracted as she thought about the days events. She brought up the original case details, and entered Reid's theory too. Quickly, she scanned through them all, trying to make them fit. It wasn't that it was a bad theory. Any other case, and Emily thought she might have suggested it herself. But it just didn't fit for her with this one. Something wasn't sitting right. She came back to thinking about that 

feeling that was still carved into the pit of her stomach, rooted inside like it had always been there. She couldn't shake it, and somehow, she knew it wasn't only because her victim looked like her girlfriend.

''Do you have another theory?''

''Not yet.''

She answered Reid glumly, her eyes still clouded with thought. And she didn't. For once, Emily didn't even have one real coherent thought about the case. Everything was so jumbled up right now, that she could make head nor tail of her thoughts. 

''I would love to stick around and debate with you guys, but I'm beat so I'm going to bed.''

JJ declared as she closed her file, effectively bringing Emily out of her daze as she realised JJ was collecting her things together. Numbly, she nodded in agreement, feeling the exhaustion that had piled up on her throughout the day. That feeling, those whirling thoughts, they were weighing on her pretty heavily. Plus, despite having had a very relaxing weekend, Sunday night was pretty much the only night that she and JJ had actually let each other get a real amount of sleep. So hitting the sack sounded really good right now, and she figured maybe some rest would help her begin to process her thoughts so she had somewhere to start in the morning.

There hadn't been much more conversation, as she had headed to the room that would become their home for however long this case took. Both women went about getting their things they needed out of their respective ready bags, negotiating around each other as they got showered and changed until finally they both climbed into bed. 

''You know that kiss you were ready to give me on the plane?''

Emily asked through the silence, looking across at JJ and suddenly being thankful they had ended up having to share the same room.

''Yeah.''

''I could really use it now.''

Smiling softly in the darkness, JJ leaned forward to close the little gap between them seeing as they were laying face to face, and kissed the brunette tenderly. She felt the tense body next to hers relax a little bit, as Emily let out an almost inaudible sigh of relief. 

''Oh my god.''

JJ blurted out, completely shattering the silence that had floated over them some moments ago as they settled, ready to fall into slumber. The stillness shocked both JJ's body and mind, after spending the day in a whirlwind rush. Her thoughts began to calm a little, and that's when one thought in particular popped up into her mind.

''What's wrong?''

JJ blinked across at her girlfriend, who was looking at her with concern, sleepy eyes now fully aware and open.

''Our room is a double.''

She stated simply, like that explained her irrational outburst. Emily frowned, completely lost.

''Yeah, so? We said we'd double up.''

''But Hotch has given us the actual double room. And he gave Morgan and Spence the twin.''

Beginning to catch on to JJ's line of thinking, Emily grunted ever so softly. She was right, of course. Hotchner had indeed given them the actual double, even though it was never stated which kind of double room they wanted. Or anyone else wanted, for that matter.

''Oh.''

''He knows.''

JJ declared decisively, almost sounding too that she was rather offended that he knew and hadn't said anything, or figured it out before they told him.

''Jen he just threw those keys at us, it was probably an accident.''

Emily tried to rationalise. Everyone was tired, including Hotchner. He and Gideon had both been rather impatient, wanting to head to bed to get some rest. She could see it being an accident, and even if it wasn't, he probably did it so Morgan and Reid didn't have to share a bed. Because the last time they got stuck sharing a bed like that, in some pokey little town in Utah, Morgan had complained the entire day about being kicked by Reid through the night. And that he had to sleep with the light on. So really, it could have been perfectly explainable why they had ended up in this room. It wasn't often that the two older profilers shared, either. 

''Oh come on, this is Aaron Hotchner we're talking about.''

And that was all that needed to be said to change Emily's mind.

''You so have a point.''

Frowning slightly, starting to wonder why Hotchner hadn't said anything, Emily bit her lower lip lightly and let out another soft sigh. Slowly but surely, yet again, her mind began to drift back to her work. Her mind was refusing to let it go easily, even though it was desperately tired. It screamed at her to keep all possible defences up around Dolton, and at first she had thought that was simply because he was a jerk. Now, in the stillness, her brain told her it was more than that. It didn't exactly know how yet, but it was definitely more than that. He was connected to all of this somehow, and that disturbed her. So lost in her thoughts for a moment again, Emily didn't even realise that JJ was watching her carefully, reaching out her hand to start playing with strands of her hair. 

''You going to tell me what's on your mind, anytime soon?''

As Emily looked at JJ, she contemplated on lying to her. She could probably have gotten away with just saying that she was thinking about the case, trying to come up with different angles to explain everything. However, she knew she couldn't. She didn't want to. She had to at least say something about, if she wasn't able to define or explain, this feeling that wouldn't leave her alone. Just so someone knew. 

''I'm never quite sure what makes some cases worse than others. But this one, I don't know how to describe it JJ. I feel like there's something akin to an elephant sat on my chest or something.''

She confessed, not immediately feeling better but glad in some way that she had said it. She was all too aware of just how badly she could keep things bottled up to herself. And she had learnt in some rather hard ways that it wasn't always best. There would be no real relief she would receive right now, no way to explain properly, JJ couldn't take this feeling away from her exactly. But just knowing she knew, that was okay.

''Is this because of the last female victim?''

''It might be, I'm not sure. All I do know is that I want this case over and done with so we can go home and get back to normal.''

And that's all she did know. That's all she wanted, right now. All those instincts in her were pushing her to get the hell out of this place, like some kind of fight or flight response. And in no way did she scare easily, she had seen and done too much to not stand up for herself, or anyone else. It wasn't very often she would choose not to fight. And she wasn't going to know, but it didn't mean she wouldn't admit that she wanted this case solved pronto so she could indeed, get back home.

''Did you just put our lives in the same sentence as normal?''

JJ deadpanned sardonically, wanting to take some of the tension out of the air and perhaps make Emily comfortable enough that she would let herself get some sleep. It's the only thing she could offer, to relieve her girlfriend right now. And it seemed to work a little bit, because Emily chuckled.

''Well, define normal!''

She challenged jokingly, earning herself a gentle nudge.

''Don't go all semantics on me, smarty pants.'' 

''Oh but I'm so good at it!''

''You're good at kissing too, and it's a lot more fun.''

Emily laughed lightly, rolling her eyes at JJ's blatant shamelessness, before giving in and kissing her. They were gentle, but deep, meaningful and reassuring. Something inside of the brunette told her that JJ had planned exactly this, as to provide her with that assurance the best way she could right now. And it was working. The blonde had managed to take the sting out of everything she was feeling, making it a dull annoyance in the back of her mind now. And no longer the prevailing feeling inside of her stomach. That was replaced by a surge of contentment, and then a pang of anticipation as her brain started to register something that she had been thinking about during the last few weeks. It tugging at her, making it known that right now was apparently the time to bring it up. So reluctantly, she pulled back a little bit, taking JJ's hand and lacing their fingers together as she gave her a pointed look.

''There's something else on my mind too. Something I've been meaning to talk to you about for a little while.''

''What is it?''

''I erm…I've been thinking a lot about us. And how we spend so much time together.''

She broached, a little unsurely, making JJ smile and nod with a slightly playfully mocking look running through her eyes that still glowed through the darkness of the room, making it look as though they were made by electric currents. 

''We're a couple that works together Em!''

She teased good naturedly, making Emily realise that JJ hadn't exactly jump on the same thought track she was going along.

''Oh, I know. I just mean…well we're rarely alone outside of work. You stay at my place or I stay at yours…''

Her sentence drifted off slightly, as she saw the confused look JJ had in her eyes. For someone so intelligent, she was surprised the penny was dropping already.

''Do you honestly not see where this is going?''

''Well you're waffling!''

Reflecting the smile JJ was shooting at her, Emily cleared her throat as she shifted forward, feeling the need to snuggle in a little more. Her hand left JJ's to instead reach up, tracing fingertips down the softness of her cheek.

''Okay. I'm asking you if you'd maybe want to think about making things a little more permanent. I'm asking you if you'd maybe like to think about moving in together.''

She clarified, not wanting to let any more room in for confusion. It had occurred to her, for the first time, a little over five weeks ago. When she had been looking for one particular shirt in her closet, only to find out that she had left it at JJ's. Which happened a lot for both of them. All the time they were leaving things at the others place, forgetting that they needed to take things away with them again. And there was the whole staying over thing, in which they tended to go through little phases of where it would be. This weekend it had been her apartment, but a week prior to spending four days in Seattle, it had been JJ's house. It was getting a little ridiculous. Because of course then, they had to sort out their cars, how to go about arriving at work and then going home again. Basically, it was getting a little tedious and complicated. 

''You're asking me to live with you?''

It wasn't a squeak exactly, but there was definitely a healthy amount of surprise and awe laced into the question. Emily didn't take it to heart. After all, it was probably the last thing JJ had been expecting her to bring up right now, and it was a rather big step. And although there had been a couple of very non specific comments about living together at some point, they had been just that, non specific. 

''Yeah. Or at least be thinking about it. We could live at my apartment, or your house. Or find somewhere new. I don't really care, as long as you're there.'' 

JJ listened, heard the conviction and love behind Emily's words, and instantly an image of them actually living together popped up into her head. It wasn't a bad image, she had to say. And it was one that had cropped up in her mind before, when she thought about the future and where this relationship was heading. She just didn't expect it to come up now, in the most unlikely of places. In the most unlikely of times, actually.

''Wow. First you tell your Mom, and want to tell our bosses. Now this.''

Instantly, seeing the panic flash through Emily's eyes, JJ wished she had structured that a little better, or better yet, never have said it at all. Because as the words hit her own ears, she knew exactly how it had sounded. And it had been nothing like what she had meant.

''What, is it all a little too fast? I mean, we've been seeing each other for a long while, I just thought it was going…''

''Hey, I didn't say it was a bad thing, okay? I was just surprised.''

Seeing no other choice but to interrupt, JJ did so, hoping to stop the snowballing horror happening in her girlfriends mind. The last thing she wanted to do was let Emily think she didn't want to live with her. Nothing could have been further from the truth. Those times, when she looked into the future, Emily was all she saw. It didn't matter how far she looked, Emily was always there, in the forefront of her mind. At the same time, she was indeed, extremely surprised. And even though she had no doubts about her relationship with Emily, she was still struck with a detectable note of fear. Because it had been just after moving in with her last significant other, everything had turned bad.

''I'm not asking you to decide anything right now. I'm just putting it out there to be thinking about so we can talk about it in a few months.''

Emily clarified, seemingly understanding somehow the thoughts that were going through JJ's head. She just knew, like she tended to instinctively know a lot of things. And for that, JJ was able to stop that grip of fear crushing her. She realised now, that the older woman wasn't demanding to have a decision, or expected one. She wasn't expecting to act on this right away. She was indeed, just putting it out there, for the one purpose of easing into it. JJ had told her, at length, about the devastatingly crushing failure her last relationship had been. She had described just how gutted she had been, and how it had been so very difficult to be able to see a way out of that. And she was taking that into account. And right in the very second JJ had been thinking about it, she also realised that she had no worries about the same thing happening with Emily. Absolutely none. It was the most confident she had been of anything. Practically pouncing forward, she took Emily's face in her hands and kissed her again.

''I would love to live with you. You're right, we practically do anyway. But I also think you're right about coming back to it in a few months.''

She declared quickly, almost falling over her words like she was afraid if she didn't get them out then Emily would surely take it as a sign she didn't want to live with her. She smiled then, happily, as she thought about just how true it was that they spent an inordinate of time together. It was the natural evolution, really, and she had no idea why she had been so taken off guard about it. 

''Define a few!''

Emily teased mischievously, grinning as she arched an eyebrow devilishly. Again, she only earned herself another nudge. She had definitely picked a shovey woman!

''_Behave_!'' 

''Oh come on Jennifer, you really don't expect me to behave do you?''

''I'd be really shocked if you did. And Emily? I really like the idea of finding somewhere new.''

As their mouths met again, and they felt refreshed and happy, the looming feeling that Emily had been harbouring was the furthest thing from their minds. In fact, it had been completely forgotten. But it still remained there, silent, the reason for its presence still unknown but strong. So taken away by the delights that mutual happiness brought them, neither of them gave any thought to just how quickly that would stop in the face of grave danger. For one of them most particularly than the other. 


	6. Gone

**6) Gone**

''_It is easier to find men who will volunteer to die, than to__find those who are willing to endure pain with patience.'' -- _Julius Caesar 

**Precinct**

**Tuesday**

**11:15am**

With her left hand cupping the mug of coffee, and her right sitting on the butt of her gun, Emily stood by the tall white board that Reid had used to stick bits of paper to and scribble a timeline on. Carefully, silently, her eyes drank in the details he had pulled out, scrutinizing them inside of her own head. To someone that didn't know her, they would say that she was paying absolutely no attention to the rest of her team, who were either stood or sat around the table, balling around with ideas. In actual fact, she was listening to every word.

Through the night, Reid had been turning his theory over in his head at length. It seemed the more he worked it through, the more he became convinced that they indeed, were dealing with two unsubs. 

''I think Reid might be right about this. It's the best theory. Why the victims changed, the differences in technique.''

Morgan agreed, after his young counterpart had put forth his theory and a brief argument to back it up. So far, Gideon and Hotchner had remained quiet, letting Reid have the space he needed to talk and also mulling it over in their heads as he did. They had spent the first part of the morning letting Emily in filling them in on the bits and pieces she had noted about the Kate Anderson murder, but so far she was only reinforcing things they already knew. Aside from her personal observations, that is. As a profiler, she was trained to collect a lot more than the usual evidence. But again, she had been reluctant to give them much of a whole opinion because she was still waiting on some more information, and she felt that she needed to dig a little further. Into the victim, the investigation, and the Detective behind it.

''I thought only one unsub in a killing team did the actual killing? The dominant one?''

JJ asked lightly, slightly puzzled, directing her gaze between both Reid and Morgan. 

''Usually, but not always. We could be looking at a master and apprentice type relationship. Or the dominant one letting the submissive have a go to keep him interested.'' 

''So…Kate Anderson could be the submissive unsubs type?''

She clarified, long used to taking the wind out of Reid's waffles and summing up what he actually meant.

''Yeah, it would explain the sudden switch.''

''What about the cop?''

As she posed the question, Gideon moved slightly, flicking his hand as he took a slow breath in, intense eyes still boring a whole into the table. However, within that stare, were a thousand thoughts and an alertness that told them that he had been taking in everything being said.

''They're rubbing the police's nose in it. 'Look at us, we can do anything. You can't stop us'.''

He answered softly, in that calm but meaningful tone he used so often. Hotchner nodded beside him, taking in a long breath but having an air of confidence around him that he usually got when he had worked things out. It was encouraging, seeing that along with the intelligent sparkle in his eyes. It meant that finally, they were starting to get somewhere. 

''I think we need to go over the suspect and witness lists. If Gideon is right, then it's most likely they've been interviewed. That means we have their names. We can weed them out according to our profile.'' 

The four Agents' at the table nodded in agreement, the younger three relieved at having somewhere to start now. However, Emily still stood at the board, frowning slightly as she let out a soft sigh that caught Gideon's attention. He watched observantly as the brunette turned, completely lost in her own thoughts as she moved toward her chair slowly.

''Emily, you disagree?''

She looked up, blinking in confusion as she heard her name, and realised that Gideon had been watching her. At his question, everyone else looked up too.

''What? Oh, I'm sorry. No Sir, I don't disagree.''

There was such a distinct reluctance, a disbelief of sorts, in her words that were clearly an effort to get out, that it was obvious that she did disagree. Or maybe not disagree, but just wasn't as convinced as everyone else.

''What were you thinking?''

''I just…I have a feeling that I can't shake. Something just isn't sitting right with me.''

She admitted, thinking that perhaps now was the time to let someone other than JJ know. After all, the feelings and impressions that they got were important. Sometimes it was instinct that broke cases, that's why they were begged for help so often. Profilers could spot these things; they were supposed to be different. It's why they could walk in to any town in any State and help out. Because some crimes didn't fit the typical standard other law enforcements were trained for. Not even the FBI itself. 

''Care to elaborate?''

Shaking her head, still unwilling to take it any further when she had no basis for it, Emily looked over at Hotchner. It was important she recognised there was something not right, and that she voiced that to the others, but that's as much as she could get out. Even the reason for it was eluding her, and it had to be said, she could just have been reading too much into it. She still wasn't even sure if it was the actual case or not. Or just the discomfort of having to work with a snake, or investigating a woman that looked like JJ. If she wasn't sure, how could she say anything for sure?

''You know, it's probably nothing.''

Both Hotchner and Gideon looked between one another, clearly unconvinced, as Emily began to sift through some witness and suspect lists in Kate Anderson's file as everyone began to pull their own respective lists out of the files they had before them. Scanning down them, she noticed something odd and her frown developed.

''Huh. This is odd. I didn't notice yesterday because I hadn't gone through all the information Garcia had sent me yet. Kate Anderson was married.''

Looking up, Morgan frowned too, but in confusion about why Emily found that so odd. 

''So?''

''So, her husband's name is nowhere on this suspect or witness list. He wasn't even interviewed. Now if this had been _my_ investigation, his name would have been on the top of the pile.''

''Think he could be involved?''

JJ wondered, following along the track of Emily's thoughts as the others started to also. She had a point. Immediate family members like that were always looked at; unless it was beyond obvious they had nothing to do with it. And even then, they were interviewed. To not even have sat down and talk to Mr Anderson was in itself very unusual; it was just how cops worked. They would have needed to ask him a variety of question, even if he hadn't have been a suspect. But the tone in Emily's voice was cast full of suspicion, leading JJ to think that her girlfriend was doubtful of the husband. Almost irritably, she slipped through some witness reports, searching for something.

''Maybe. This is a very short list. There's a name on the witness list that was never even interviewed. Not that I can see, anyway.''

''Great, even dodgier paperwork.''

Morgan grunted, rifling through his own.

''Okay. Let's just focus on the profile and give it to the police first. Prentiss, I'd like you to get Dolton to take you through that list. Find out why the husband wasn't a suspect.''

Hotchner ordered before this team could start dwelling on the state of the investigation they had taken on. Not that they didn't have anything to complain about, they did. But right now, it wasn't the issue. Now, they had something to roll with. They knew what types they were looking for, thanks to Reid. They could start moving, start getting some eyes and ears out onto the street. It was better than nothing, and this was how leads started to come in. Someone would recognise something at least.

''Well I will if he gives me any real answers Sir, but I think that's unlikely.''

''Push his buttons. See if you can't get something on the husband, tell JJ if you can't and she'll work on it. The rest of us will go through the rest of the lists. I want you to get together a press conference.''

Emily simply nodded as Hotchner gave his assignment, then moved on from looking at her toward JJ who also nodded as she grabbed her phone, ready to jump into action and get things sorted.

''You got it.''

With now having something to run with, the little side room became alive with activity as the profilers began to come up with their profile. JJ set about putting out requests for a conference, it taking a little longer than usual as she got questioned down the phone in hope of her letting some unique titbit. Which of course, they didn't. After a while, when they were satisfied with their profile, the team presented it to the police. That in itself, was a lengthy process indeed. Just about everything they said, Dolton and his two 

friends had to dismiss or challenge it. They spent most of their time arguing with him rather than giving the profile. Eventually though, they managed to finish the profile, and the team had stalked off separately to cool off a little. 

For Emily, the day was again, dragging its feet. After getting off to a late start, Emily went about sorting through the handful of people that she wanted to talk to, despite Dolton questioning her reasons. Once again, he had tried to stop her, talk her out of things, tell her there was no need. It was exhausting, she felt like they were going in circles. They had checked back in at the station a few times, and thankfully, the brunette had managed to steal a couple of moments alone with a certain blonde, but even the encouraging hug she had received started to fade as the evening started rolling in and she realised she still had two people to talk to. He was making everything so damn hard that she began to profile him carefully, looking for signs that would indicate whether they were on 'the same side'. 

Today had been worse than yesterday. At least then she had only been cooped up with him for a little less longer. Today was dragging its feet, and this time last night she had been happily snuggled up to the woman she loved. She felt like she had barely seen her at all today. This morning had seemed such a long time ago, when she had woken up to find that JJ had gotten up first and headed to the little diner to bring breakfast back to the room. Since it had been early, they had had at least a half hour just to sit around and talk. Neither of them had said it, but she knew JJ was trying to keep her mind off, and make her feel better about the bad feeling she had and the fact that she would yet again be paired off with Dolton. 

**10:05pm**

''How come the husband was never a suspect in Kate Anderson's murder?''

Staring out of the window, into the darkness, Emily pierced the lull inside the car, figuring now was as good a time as any to ask. Now she only had one name left over from her list, and had managed to convince a reluctant Detective to head over there even though it was late. She had had to remind him how many bodies were on this case, after he started grumbling about being off the clock though. And all throughout the last interview, she had paid more attention to studying him. The idea was slowly starting to settle in that there was something more than him just being an ass. He was definitely hiding something, and it had something to do with this case. She just needed to find out what, and get it out of him. 

'''Cos they were getting' a divorce.''

Swinging her gaze onto him, she narrowed her eyes at him angrily. What, was he some kind of rookie? How in the hell did this guy get a gold shield? You didn't need a profiler to know that was important.

''Detective, that's a clear cut stressor. That could have been why she was killed.''

''Oh don't get your panties in a twist, he wasn't even around. Dropped off the face of the earth. You know, I don't know why you wanna speak to this guy Omar…whatever his name is. He doesn't even speak English for crying out loud.''

''Because he's a witness.''

She snapped, sighing as an uncomfortable silence slipped between them. Though, she reckoned a silence was better than anything else. Pulling out her phone, she made quick work of texting Garcia to see if there was any progress on tracking Kate Anderson's husband down. After getting nowhere with Dolton, Emily had done as Hotchner had told her to and informed JJ that she didn't have a lead on him. The blonde had worked on it as much as she could, and then passed the enquiry on to Garcia. 

''Texting the boyfriend?''

Dolton chided, trying to get a rise out of her.

''None of your damn business.'' 

''Sensitive. Only askin'. Speakin' of boyfriends, that hot little blonde chick got one? 'Cos I could seriously do…''

Emily liked to think of herself as a level headed person. She liked to think she could approach things in an objective manner, and that she was a grown up about things. When it came to JJ, she liked to think that she was trusting. Which she was. Of JJ. It didn't mean to say that she didn't feel a stab of jealousy or irritation when she saw someone trying to flirt with her or ask her out. She didn't miss one single appreciative look that got sent her way, by men and women alike. Most of the time, she got a distinct satisfaction about knowing that she was the one that would end up in bed with her at the end of the night. She was the one she shared secrets with, wrapped her arms around, laughed with, hell even fought with. She was the one that got to have her heart. This though, she couldn't deal with. She just couldn't. Having him look at her and fantasize about her, there was something in her brain that just refused to process that. Refused to let her keep her cool. It actually made her sick; the notion of it was so disturbing. It made her want to hit him. Hell, it made her want to _shoot_ him. 

''Don't you _dare_ finish that sentence, you twisted son of a bitch. I swear to god I'll have your ass in a sling so fast you won't know what hit you. That's my…partner you're talking about, so you watch your mouth. And even if she wasn't involved, which she is, she sure as hell wouldn't go near a scumbag like you. Got it?''

She seethed, not even attempting to reel in her venom and contempt. She managed to leap out of the car immediately as he pulled over, thankful for the wave of cool air that rushed her, immediately beginning to calm her down. She had felt everything in her begin to throb dully, with a white hot intensity. It was overwhelming. Never had she felt like that when someone had just enquired about JJ. But then, she had never felt that JJ would be at risk. It was the malice, she realised. The offender like mentality Dolton had with it. It made everything in her want to get JJ as far away as possible from him. 

For now though, she was where she was, and she couldn't let herself boil over. There was nothing until she could do really, until she got this interview over with and got back to the station. Where she would insist to JJ, her boss and Captain Rosenberg that Detective Dolton stay away from her and be removed from this case. In which she had no qualms about insisting upon, considering his evading tactics. 

Slipping into the little corner store, Emily took in a deep breath to finish composing herself. Immediately, the different smells started to relax her. Sweet and spicy fragrances blended well together, drifting through the air easily. The soft music from the radio welcomed her too, and she smiled, listening to the beats of the song that reminded her of Cairo. What she didn't like though, was that the man she had come to speak to, a nearing middle aged man hailing from the same place she had lived in as a child, went rigid with fear. But he didn't look at her. He looked past her, obviously alarmed of who was following behind. After a moment, he shifted his gaze onto her as she reached the counter, and she could tell he was suspicious. Putting on her best reassuring and pleasant smile, Emily waved at the little girl sat on the counter as she pulled out her badge and introduced herself. In Arabic. Which both greatly surprised him, and the 

Detective hovering behind her. She didn't fail to notice his displeasure that he had no idea what was going on as she began to talk easily with Omar, conversing naturally like they were old friends. He couldn't bother her when he had no idea what was being said.

For a few moments, it was like talking to an old friend. They talked about Cairo, and what they both missed about it. Emily had had to explain that she spent a significant chunk of her childhood there, which was why she spoke the language. She asked about him and his family, his little girl that she got some shy replies from. She was a beautiful kid, sweet and funny. It was nice to see some innocence in the middle of such a brutal case. Which of course lead her onto the questions she needed to ask, which Omar answered openly and helpfully. He also explained to Emily that Dolton was a bad man, so he tended not to speak English in front of him. Emily promised she wouldn't tell him. It was nice to finally get somewhere without having to fight. 

After saying her goodbyes, Emily walked back toward the car with Dolton, processing everything Omar had told her. That bad feeling she hadn't been able to identify before was now off the charts, and she knew what it was now. 

''That's funny; I didn't see any rag-head in you. But looks can be deceiving.''

Whirling around angrily at his ignorant comment, she stepped closer to him, wanting to get in his face. She had had enough and this was going to end, now. 

''_Excuse me_? You are completely out of line Detective. Make any more racist slurs like that, and I'll have your badge.''

She yelled furiously, frowning as he stepped into her space too. That cocky, self involved smirk of his was enough to make her want to place her knee in a very sensitive area. Maybe then, he wouldn't get the chance to ruin the life of any unfortunate offspring he could make. 

''Yeah you just try it bitch.''

Emily simply snickered, rolling her eyes dismissively. 

''Do you honestly think you scare me? You're just a vile, pathetic little man that couldn't find his ass with two hands, which is probably why you suck at your job.''

''You did not just say that.''

''Oh yeah, I did. I've been through the reports remember? Not one of them was filled in right. I'm surprised you realised you even had a serial killer on your hands. You'd have talked to them, dumbass. You let them walk. Talk about being stupid.''

''You shut the hell up.''

''Or what?''

Even though she was fuelled with her anger and hatred, using everything she had been feeling, using his bigotry, and reminding herself that she had dealt with so much worse than him, the experienced Agent still kept a hand near her sidearm. She didn't make it obvious to him, but as he had stepped closer to her, so they were mere inches apart, Emily had unclipped her holster just in case. She wasn't as swept away as Dolton thought her to be. In actual fact, she was waiting for him to slip. Watching carefully, waiting for the last bit of confirmation that would convince her completely of what was going on here. He had no idea how well she had profiled him.

''You don't even wanna know what I'm capable of. You should never have come here, we had everything under control. We know…''

Emily lifted her head, catching his mistake instantly. It made him stop short in realisation, and for a few seconds, nothing happened. An almost deafening silence reached them, and neither one of them moved. Just stood toe to toe, motionless in the darkness. Until that was, Emily's expression began to change from that anger, to a more seriously inquisitive one. One where the look in her eyes was unsurprised and already knowing. 

''You know what?''

She demanded, the heaviness having now dissolved from her voice. She didn't flinch, didn't react, as Dolton pulled away from her quickly, suddenly scared and put out. She had struck that nerve alright. 

''You damn bitch, you're playing me.''

Before the brunette could do much about it, the anxious Detective jumped into his car and started up. Within an instant, he was tearing off down the lonely street. Feeling all of that weight she had been carrying around start to drop away from her, Emily sighed and ran a hand through her hair. She didn't think it in an egotistical way, but she knew she had all but, and maybe even wholly, broken this case. Either way, it was definitely a significant step that would blow it wide open for them. Maybe even get them back home very, very soon. The next step though, inevitably, would be to have proof on her side. And deciding to start with the best, she pulled her phone out and pressed the familiar speed dial, knowing that Garcia wouldn't have left her office yet until she knew it was okay to go home and get a little shut eye. She rested when they rested, no matter how far apart they were. Emily had always admired her for that. It must have been hard for her sometimes being there and so far away.

''Work me baby.''

Running off adrenaline, Emily bypassed registering Garcia's quirky greeting as she began to pace on the pavement, rolling her hand in the cool air as if she needed to do something about working out this momentum that was going on inside of her head.

''Penelope, I need you to get everything you can on Detective Reese Dolton.''

She asked without preamble, almost falling over her own words in her rush to get things started. If she and the team were going to take this son of a bitch down, they needed to act fast. He was a step ahead of her right now already, simply because he had managed to ditch her out here by herself. But, she had Garcia on her side. And her next call would be to the team so they could act on the information. It didn't matter she was out here.

''Detective? Huh? Why?''

''Because I think the son of a bitch has been lying to us. I think him and his cronies are involved, if not responsible, for these murders.''

Emily declared, almost happily. It was never a happy event, but there came a distinct satisfaction of working things out. Especially when they had been so stumped. It made sense. Everything had made sense. The difference in the victims, which could have been explained by the two other Detective's that followed Dolton like a god. It explained the dead Detective even, because she didn't put it past Dolton to take extreme measures to ensure he was feared, respected and that his little secret was kept just that. A secret. 

It explained her feelings, why her skin wanted to crawl away every time she was near him. Why he tried so hard to block her investigation.

''Okay Superswank, but do you know what you're suggesting here? You know I believe in your powers of rocking the investigative technique, but c'mon, _Detectives_?''

Garcia pointed out reluctantly, find it a rather discomforting concept that not one, but three Detectives would conspire to torture and kill women together. They weren't supposed to do that. They were supposed to protect people. They were supposed to be on there side, and stop these kind of things behind it. Not disgrace their shield by hiding behind it whilst they got their sick little jollies off killing. It went over that fine line that Garcia liked. The line that separated good from bad. It was too blurry as it was, without this adding to it. Soon there would be nothing separating any of them.

''I know. It's a grim thought, but it fits. I just spoke to a store owner. He told me Dolton and his boys _harassed_ Kate Anderson. Constantly. She was in his store the night she was abducted. And guess who was right outside?''

''Detective Dolton?'' 

''Exactly. I think…God I think he killed her.''

Emily faulted in her pacing for a moment, hesitating as her eyes scanned the shadows ahead of her. Out of the corner of her eye, she thought she saw move within them. A swift but noticeable movement, enough to cease her own movement, anyway. Her breath caught in her throat so she could listen to the night air, but heard nothing. Letting that breath out slowly, she rolled her eyes at herself, wondering when she had become so damn paranoid. But then, given what unit she worked in, it was probably a good thing.

''So you think he could have killed the other girls, too? And his friend?''

Garcia brought her back from her suspicious daze, making her blink and nod before she began to pace once again. She frowned ever so lightly, wondering exactly how Detective Delly had met his untimely demise.

''I'm not sure, it's possible. If Delly had some crisis of conscience or stumbled across the truth or something, maybe that's why he was killed. I mean, let's face it. We've hit a mountain of crappy paperwork. It's been leading us in different directions since we got here. As though no one was supposed to find the truth.''

''Creepy. Well, I have my minions digging as we speak Sugar. Hopefully we'll come up with something soon.''

Emily smirked, taking in a deep breathe as though for the first time since Monday morning, she had been able to. Then she cast her eyes along the road again, the small hairs on the back of her neck prickling a little, but she still saw or heard nothing. Maybe it was just the rush of finding such a huge break in the case? The ridding of such a heavy weight that made her suddenly feel light again, therefore making her a little giddy and light headed. Or perhaps, it was the fact she was standing in the darkness of an unknown street, and had no idea where the hell she was.

''Great. I should find my way back to the station.''

''Where are you?''

''The jerk abandoned me outside the store. He knew I was playing him. Hotch told me to push buttons, then hearing what the store owner said, I kinda lost it.''

She grumbled and admitted, wincing slightly as she now evaluated her actions and responses. They weren't her best, she had to admit. She had let her personal feelings get involved, and she didn't like doing that. It meant she could so very easily loose sight of everything.

Turning around to look up the street, narrowing her eyes to see if there were any signs of a street name or whether she would have to go back into the store and wait for someone, Emily didn't notice that the shadow she had dismissed was creeping up behind her.

''I'd say that's understandable since…''

Emily didn't have time to respond. She didn't have time to think, or move, or yell. The only thing she was aware of, was the strong arm looped around her stomach, and the cloth being pressed over her mouth and face. The cloth that had a distinct smell that alarmed her to no end. She knew what chloroform smelt like. If she had indeed had time to think, she would have thought that perhaps she should have paid a little more attention to her instincts saying there was someone in the shadows. As it was, she was only able to give a muffled squeak as she felt herself succumbing to the drug, standing no real chance against it. And amongst a whirlwind of panic, there was only one word she recognised before she slipped into nothing. Jennifer.

''Em? Hey, are you there? _Emily_?''

Garcia sat forward so quickly she nearly ejected herself from her seat. Hearing nothing but faint and muffled noises, the worried blonde stared at the monitor in front of her, before she flinched slightly in horror at hearing a small clatter. A sound that sent shivers down her spine, because she knew that clatter was the sound of Emily's phone hitting the floor. And it was followed by a very final crush, therefore ending the connection she held.

''Oh…oh my god…''

**NJ precinct **

**10:45pm**

It was amazing. He would never be able to cope with that many people asking that many questions for more than a few minutes at a time. In fact, Hotchner tried to stay as far away from the press and the public eye as was humanly possible. He had stood before the cameras before, of course. When he had to. But very rarely had it been without JJ's presence, because she was the real puppet master. She was the centre of the ring, structuring, designing and controlling the show. As a prosecutor, he had often been on public show, and he had never done well with it. The press had hated him, and he had hated them. Vary rarely had he managed then, to get them to work to his advantage. It was one of his major downfalls, he was aware of this. His people skills had much to be desired, he felt. Which was why he was always impressed by JJ's performance. Especially at times like these, when the press would cut her no breaks. She had been in there for a little over forty five minutes, and she was yet to lose her finesse. She was yet to take a step in the wrong direction. And the press were none the wiser. That girl was truly gifted, not just as a press liaison, but as a uniquely skilled individual. As an FBI Agent, her investigation skills were top rate. And he had often speculated that she would make a fine profiler. Or rather, she _was _a fine profiler already, just not in any official capacity. She didn't need the training to back her up, 

because she was happy and confident in herself to remain just so. She knew that she was the best one out of everyone to do this, and she was right.

''How's she doing?''

Gideon wondered, coming to stand in line next to his colleague and friend, peering through the shutters of the blinds to watch JJ at the podium, pointing at yet another reporter who levelled a question toward her. Hotchner looked toward the older man, still firm in his stance and not moving the arms that were folded across his chest.

''As good as ever.''

He enthused, that tone of impressed and proud clearly detectable in his voice. And it was pride. He had seen the young woman develop before his very eyes, and exceed every single expectation he had for her. As he had told her before, he underestimated her.

''I don't know how she gets up there all the time.'' 

Gideon smiled briefly, mirroring Hotchner's own thoughts.

''Me either.''

They remained quiet again, just watching the woman in subject, before his cell phone pierced through the almost silence in the room. After all, Morgan and Reid were still chattering in the background by the table. Without taking his eyes from the room next to theirs, that had pretty much now become an impromptu press room, Hotchner pulled out is phone and answered it without looking. 

''Hotchner. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Garcia slow down. What? _What_?''

Turning sideways to Gideon, and holding a hand up in midair to get his attention, he shot an urgent and severe look his way as he listened to Garcia almost cry down the phone.

''Get someone out to that store Prentiss was going to, _now_. Garcia thinks something happened to her after Dolton left her there.''

He ordered grimly, every trace of what he had just been thinking being obliterated by panic now as he listened to his hysterical technical analyst reeling off a description of what happened, the fact Emily's phone was now dead, and where it had been when it had been killed.

''He what?''

Morgan demanded incensed, as he stood up properly from leaning over the table to look at something Reid had been showing him. He watched helplessly, as his heart and stomach jumped into his throat, as Gideon bolted out of the room, hearing him shout orders to the police officers around him. He flinched to follow, but Hotchner held out his hand to indicate he wanted him here.

''Was she sure? Okay, yeah. I got it. Keep doing that, I'll call you back.''

Hotchner turned properly to the two remaining Agent's, now a detectable shade paler than he usually was. He felt the room tense so much and so quickly, that if they made too sudden moves everything would shatter. 

''What's happening?''

Reid asked, almost as though he was scared to. There was a familiar, terrified look sweeping through his young eyes. A look that was terrified for his friend, because he knew first had what it was like to 'disappear'. He didn't want anything like that to happen to Emily. She had been the one that had seen him drowning. He had liked her, when she initially appeared in the BAU. Not being one to think in political terms, Reid had never really wondered why she had been sent in much to the confusion of his bosses. But she was pleasant, intelligent and she had been nice to him. He felt bad, and had apologised quite possibly a hundred times, that he had treated her so badly after he had returned to work from his ordeal. He had treated her badly because he had been scared, because she wasn't afraid to ask him questions. She wasn't afraid to note it odd how he was behaving. She had seen clear through him, and he had been scared he was caught. That's what addicts were like, and that's what had happened to him. Now, in hindsight, he was glad he had someone to watch out for him like that. And slowly, he had been able to build up a friendship with her again, to the point where he had turned to her for almost big sisterly advice. Now she might have been in a similar situation to him?

''Garcia said that Emily called her, she thinks that Dolton is our unsub after speaking to the witness she went to see. They got into an argument and he left her there. He left her, and they were talking when there was some sort of scuffle and then what sounded like the phone being stamped on.''

''Oh my god. It does fit. Dolton fits our profile. And the two other Detectives? They could be following his lead. They could be learning from him. Which means, one or both of them could have snatched Emily if they were following her and Dolton.''

Reid followed immediately onto Emily's line of thinking, pointing a finger animatedly into the air, aimed down at the floor. He frowned slightly as Morgan almost growled, pushing his way past him.

''Son of a bitch.''

Blood pumping through him angrily, Morgan rushed out of their given room toward the bullpen. His friend was missing and that bastard had the audacity to turn up here? Strutting in like everything was fine? Like he hadn't just stranded a Federal Agent out in the middle of nowhere and more than likely had something to do with her vanishing? Putting the murders aside, it was more than enough to send Morgan off the deep end. All he could think about was that his friend was gone, and every protective fibre in his body went into overdrive. He could hear Hotchner shout something, but by then it was too late. Before anyone could do anything, he threw himself at Dolton, tackling him down to the ground before pinning him down and packing a solid punch square into his face. The grunt of pain satisfied him, and he screwed his face up as he wrapped his hand around Dolton's neck, fully intending to cause a lot of pain and damage.

''You piece of crap, I'm gunna break your neck.''

Before he could actually do it though, Hotchner grabbed him from behind, wrapping his arms around him tightly and hoisted him up with a great deal of difficulty. Morgan ignored him, trying to lunge forward as someone helped Dolton up. Everyone else just stood around in shock, watching Dolton wipe his bleeding nose as Morgan tried to escape the arms of his captor.

''Captain Rosenberg, I'm placing Detective's Dolton, Fisher and Holland under arrest.''

Hotchner called sternly, still keeping a firm grasp of his struggling Agent as the older man arrived at the scene, shooing at everyone with his hands.

''For what?''

''Because we believe that Detective Dolton is the man we've been looking for. And that his friends have been following his orders. And because of that, Agent Prentiss is missing.''

He responded gravely, fearing the worst immediately. He shouldered all responsibility. It was in his nature, and he was the unit chief. He had sent Emily out there alone with a possible killer. Not that he didn't believe in her to handle herself, but what was one against three? Even the most well trained Agent's rarely got out of those situations. Dolton was here, yes. But the other two, there were out there somewhere. Out there and possibly with Emily right now. He couldn't even think along those lines of thoughts, he couldn't bring himself to. 

''Get him in cuffs and in the box. Put an APB out on Fisher and Holland.''

Rosenberg ordered, looking across at the bleeding disgrace of a Detective before him as one of the officers stepped up and cuffed him.

''You'll never prove it. And you won't find her.''

Dolton chided, laughing smugly as he leered at Morgan before the officer began to shove him forward.

''You better hope you're wrong.''

Morgan threatened; shoving Hotchner off of him as Dolton was hoisted away, removing the temptation to charge him again. He grimaced, turning in a small circle as he held his arms up and placed his hands on his head. Stopping for a moment, like he didn't know what to do, he doubled over and took some slow, deep breaths as though he had been winded by a blunt force blow. But then, he had been, really.

''You better explain to me just what the hell is going on here.''

Hotchner held up his finger, indicating Rosenberg to wait, as he answered his phone that flashed 'Gideon' on the screen.

''Gideon, did you find her?''

Sighing as his shoulders sagged; Hotchner turned to Morgan and shook his head. Reid looked at the floor, hands shoved in his pockets and balancing on the balls of his feet. Morgan stood up again, more composed but not any calmer, now with a look of sheer sorrow in his dark eyes. There was a burden so great climbing onto his shoulders that it was almost visible.

''Oh we'll explain. But right now I have to go tell JJ that our friend is missing.''

Looking up quickly, a look of pain shot across Reid's face. He opened his mouth, realising now that JJ was still stuck in her little room with the press, having no idea that the woman she loved couldn't be located. Once again, she would have to deal with someone she loved being taken from her. He didn't want that for her. It had torn into her enough the first time around. She had shouldered some heavy responsibility, that he knew she still carried with her, despite her denials and his attempts at getting her to 

forgive herself. He dreaded to think how she was going to react to this. Feeling the words on his mouth die, he closed it again and went back to looking at the floor grimly. 

Even if Hotchner knew about JJ and Emily's relationship, Morgan would have sombrely taken this on anyway. How could he not, they were his best friends. He couldn't let JJ hear about this from anyone else, he just couldn't. And although there was a burning pain in the pit of his stomach right now, his muscles fraught with worry about his missing friend, he had to swallow it. Not only for JJ, and not only for him. But for Emily too. Because she needed to know that he was there to step up, that JJ would always be taken care of in her absence. And she could see that when they got her back. Because if he had to search every damn house in this city alone, he would do it. But he knew he wouldn't have to do it alone.

Stepping into the conference room, he looked across the rows of reporters and over at his friend. She didn't see him at first, and he took a moment to watch her, seemingly comfortable in her role. There was a glimmer of a smile on her face, and that certain sparkle in her eyes. He had noticed it this morning, because it was slightly different from how her eyes usually sparkled. He had asked over lunch what had put that look there. She had just looked up at him, that mysterious smirk covering her lips and flowing through electric eyes. She simply stated it was Emily. It was always Emily. That's when his heart broke for her, right then. As she saw him, and he had to gesture for her. 

''I have to wrap things up for the moment, but I will keep you updated on the situation as it progresses. I'll ask you to be patient, and let the police and the FBI do our jobs.''

Ignoring a boat load more questions, JJ picked up her file and some other papers and made her way across the room toward Morgan. She smiled as he let her out of the room first, directing her down the hall and away from the commotion. It didn't even occur to her that he was wearing such a grim expression, or they were walking into seclusion, so far away from everyone else.

''You have the best timing in the world, I'm so…''

Feeling a hand on her shoulder, JJ stopped and looked up at him properly, suddenly all too aware that there was something entirely different about his demeanour. Immediately she knew something was wrong. Every muscle tightened in apprehension as her stomach lurched and her breath caught, seeing the look in his eyes.

''Jennifer…''

She frowned in confusion, ducking her head back. She hadn't felt like this for a long time. She hadn't felt like this since her Mother had come into her room one morning, with that same look, that same tone, and told her that her Uncle had died in a head on car accident. But if he was looking at her like that, _him_, then that meant he was about to say something that was absolutely unacceptable. 

''_Jennifer_?''

The echo almost sounded repulsed, as JJ took a step back as if distance would make any difference. Why was her skin burning? Why was her head pounding like that, in the same way her heart was thudding against her chest? She felt like there was oil in her stomach. She just knew. Somehow she just knew, but she didn't want to. This was supposed to be something talked about in theory. Something that could happen, but never would. It wasn't supposed to be real.

''I erm…there's something…''

As that oil churned inside of her, burning into her like acid, JJ put a hand on her stomach as she took a step away once more, shaking her head slowly. She really didn't want to know this, but at the same time, she had to. She couldn't not know.

''What? What happened?''

She demanded weakly, breathlessly. She could already feel the sting in her eyes, as the taller man before her looked at her desperately. There were tears in his eyes too, and a pained look across his hansom face. He tried to respond, but then stopped as his emotion got the better of him, making him screw his face up slightly, before he forced himself to stop. To look her in the eye.

''JJ we can't find Emily. She's gone.''

That's when time stopped. Just came to a grinding halt and hovering around her, creating this awful racket that she couldn't identify. She could hear nothing, but everything. All sense of purpose deserted her. The floor beneath her feet, the walls surrounding her, the air in her lungs, it all deserted her. Turned upside down, sucked her dry. This is what absolute blind panic and fear felt like. It wasn't irrational madness, it wasn't chaotic. It was almost serene in its stillness. Ironic, really. It was the loss of your entire existence. Just for an eternity of seconds, until reality inevitably caught up, slamming into her like the hardest thing she had ever felt. That's when she realised that nothing about her was free from pain.

''I…I think I'm gunna throw up.''

**NJ **

**Wednesday**

**12:05am**

Was she drowning? It didn't feel like she was in any water. But somewhere in the back of her head, she knew she was wet. That's the first thing that registered. And it mystified her to no end. She held no bearings, no memories, no thoughts. Just sensation. She was wet.

She was wet, and in pain. She didn't know where exactly, but it made her throb. That was her second sensation. A dull, intense throbbing pain that felt like it had settled into her bones somehow. But she couldn't tell how, because she held no bearings, no memories, no thoughts. Just sensation. She was wet. She throbbed in pain.

''Wake up.''

Was she drowning? It didn't feel like she was in any water. Only, she was. Not submerged. It was being poured on her. She could feel the pulse of the spray now. And it mystified her to no end. She held no bearings, no memories, no thoughts. Just sensation. She was wet. She throbbed in pain. She was being dowsed with water. She wasn't alone.

The water reached her face this time, and she had no other choice than to blink awake, being ripped out of her dull existence and quickly pulled into the reality of her surroundings. She sat up instantly, and severely regretted that she did. She cringed with the full force of the pain, screwing her eyes shut tightly to spare herself any light that might be waiting to inflict more pain. It was no longer a dull sensation anymore, but a sharp one. Finding a sense of direction, as her bearings slowly started coming back to her, she lifted her hand up, but jerked in shock as her efforts were stopped short by the shackle around her wrist. Both wrists, it turned out, as she looked down, now daring to squint her eyes open. The shackles were a rusty brown, the clinking chains 

leading to a loop ground tightly into the corner of the room, in the stone floor she was sprawled on. She had some bearings, but still no memories. No thoughts.

''Who are you?''

Blinking, a groggy wince settling in to wet, pale features, she tried to force her mind to work. Like she had held on to her sensations, she held on to her instinct now. An instinct that she needed to start thinking, to push through the grogginess and pain. 

''What?''

The cracked whisper sounded so alien, and now that she had been able to form a word, she noted that there was a very distinct and unpleasant taste in her mouth. She swallowed, hard, in an effort to make it go away and also to alleviate the dryness she found there. Only one worked. That taste lingered stubbornly. 

''_Who are you?_''

The loud scream boomed through every being of her, making her flinch. It did some good though, it kick started her brain. There was a flash of something in her mind. A flash of sunshine yellow? Of ocean blue eyes? There was a warmth attached to those images, that felt so wrongly out of place here. She remembered hot, vast sands stretched out before her like an endless sea. A Spanish villa, filled with every luxury that had failed to ease her loneliness. Big, giant hands she found joy in every time they picked her up and carried her into the wooden cabin she loved so much. She remembered the shrill disappointment from her parents, specifically over her choice of school. Then again, at her choice of career. She remembered being yelled at by her training instructor, telling her she could do better. And the swell of pride she felt collecting her credentials, followed by a sweeping blow to find her parents' seats empty in the audience. Her first arrest. Her first shot fired, the injury it had caused. Her first kill. She remembered her first BAU case. She had pulled out her talents as a linguist, reading Arabic to the rest of the team. Arabic. Omar and his little girl. Detective Dolton. The case. Being left on a deserted street. There _had _been something in the shadows, after all.

''I…my name is Emily. Emily Prentiss. I'm FBI.''

She stuttered, bringing her identity back to herself. Emily still cringed, but managed to look up briefly. She expected to see a familiar face. Perhaps even Dolton himself. She didn't. There was just a scruffy looking man, staring down furiously at her.

''You're lying.''

There was nothing she could do, since she was already weak and groggy, chained to the floor. The little she had managed to drag herself off of the floor was pointless. Because the heavy boot she received directly to her stomach, making a sickeningly dull thud, sent her plummeting back there as she grunted painfully, the air being forced out of her. There was another thud as her body landed, and the surge of pain took over her completely, ceasing all movements. It was a good few long seconds before she could even entertain the thought of dragging a breath of air in again. The pain still seared through her, antagonised as she coughed, making it feel like a knife ran through her stomach with each one. 

''I saw you. With _him_. He wants you to screw with my head, doesn't he? Doesn't he?''

That voice jack hammered its way through the bone of her skull, right into her very brain. She swore she felt something give inside of there, surrounded by so much haziness already, and absorbing all the unusual sensations. Absorbing the pain, the biting chill made worse by being completely drenched. And it was still trying to catch up, filling in the blank pieces desperately. Her life. Her love. Her work. Putting all that intricate jigsaw back together slowly, hindered by her physical condition. Hindered by the drug still filtering throughout her body. She never had been able to take painkillers well, she hated to imagine what chloroform was doing to her.

''I don't know what you're talking about.''

Obviously, it was the wrong this to say, because it was swiftly followed by another forceful blow to the stomach. Adding a whole new layer to her already severe pain. Again, her body was shunted, the air rushed out of her as she grunted loudly. She could not stand the white hot heat settling into her stomach, as yet again, she coughed and wheezed. Automatically, even through her disorientation, she slowly tried to ball up in self protection. 

''Don't lie to me!''

The coughs still came rapidly as she curled up, trying to steady herself and grit her teeth to ride out the pain. She had to focus. On something. On anything. On that flash of yellow sunshine and electric blue. As tightly as she could, she held onto that for all she was worth. She didn't understand what was going on. She was at the mercy of a complete stranger. How would they find her, if he had just grabbed her off the street. How would she get out of here, chained to the freezing cold floor. With the stabbing pain in her stomach and her head pounding, all her perceptions hazy and disorientated. She tried to fall back on her training, but it wasn't coming to her yet. She'd have to wait. Hold on, and wait.

''My…my badge…look at my badge. Please.''

Emily wheezed out, having the ridiculous hope that once she proved who she was, everything would miraculously be okay. Never in a million years was that going to happen. She could tell though, as she let one eye crack open to see, that the scruffy angry man that was stood over her, was at least curious. He strode away from her, thankfully, and out of her sight. Probably to where he had put her wallet. The same place where she suspected her gun and jacket were. It could have been hours for all she could tell, before she heard a frustrated sigh. Along with that sigh, came laboured breathing, the kind that told her the scruff man was trying to restrain himself.

''It's a trick. It's just a trick.''

He dismissed resentfully, tossing the credentials back onto the table. Rolling his neck, he swung his manic gaze onto his prey. She was disgusting. She was a liar. She was a bitch whore woman that deserved the pain she was in, and a lot more.

''No…''

She muttered, still groggy, still pained. The pain seemed to be spurred on by this shivering that she couldn't control. The shivering because she was drenched in cold water and sprawled on a freezing cold slab of stone flooring. She could feel the distinct sensation of panic, settling in. She of all people, was quite aware of how this alone could affect her. And she knew her own body. She dealt with the cold badly, unless she was wrapped up sufficiently. Not stripped of her shoes and socks, clad in the pants and short sleeved top she had chosen this morning. She wished she had picked something else, but no one had told her she would end up here by the end of the night. Or what she presumed to be night. Any length of time could have passed between standing on the road to now.

''You shut up. You'll tell me. One way or another, you'll tell me.''

The scruffy man appeared again, and she braced herself quickly as he leaned down, grabbing a fist full of her top to drag her up slightly. Emily winced, preparing for the blow she didn't really want to see coming. It didn't knock her out completely. She felt herself, abstractly, hit the floor yet again. Her whole body limp and useless, barely able to see through the slits in her eyes. Across the stone floor, she made out a doorway. The scruffy man burst through that doorway, into the next room along. Hazily, it registered she was in a house. She felt so much like slipping into oblivion, but her brain demanded she stay away just a little longer, to observe as much as she could. Anything could help; it was the details that mattered.

So she forced her eyes to follow the scruffy mans movement in the next room. She heard him whimper slightly, as he dropped to his knees. Then there it was again. That flash of yellow sunshine. Did she imagine that? No. No it definitely wasn't her. It was the TV. She could only make a blurry outline of it, but it was definitely a broadcast of one of JJ's press conferences. That alien warm feeling came back again. Before she noticed the scruffy man hold his hand up to the TV screen, touching the close up of JJ's face. Nothing else registered as her brain finally gave way from the reeling blow it had taken, and slipped into unconsciousness. 


	7. Somewhere

**7) Somewhere**

''_I'll find you somewhere  
I'll keep on trying  
Until my dying day  
I just need to know  
Whatever has happened  
The truth will free my soul''_

''**Somewhere'' – Within Temptation**

**Precinct**

**1:35am**

Striding back into the side room, Gideon had an unusual bleak, urgent and stressed air about him. Under the mildly contorted face, you could see many of his emotions simmering underneath, threatening to overspill at any time. He carried with him an almost Fatherly desperation and intense sadness, having not found his Agent after running off in hopes, dismal hopes, that he would. And he was haunted by words that she had spoken, in ghastly premonition.

''We only found Emily's phone, smashed, just off to the side of the store she went to. Swept the immediate area, nothing. I still have the uni's canvassing. Talking to everyone and anyone.''

The seasoned profiler updated, his words as distinctly rushed as everyone else's right now. Carrying with them a need and an importance. He got the attention of Hotchner and Reid, who had been hunched together over Reid's map, pointing at unfamiliar places and circling others.

''What about the manager?''

Hotchner asked, that booming voice having dropped graver still.

''I talked to him. Turns out he speaks English, just not in front of Dolton. He didn't see anything. He said he would pray for her safe return, she was nice to him.''

Gideon's tone lifted slightly, indicating the witnesses regret that she had been taken. He had seemed genuinely perturbed by the news, and once again had gladly answered any questions asked of him. He had retold his conversation with her, smiling at the parts when they had talked personally, and at the memory of her being kind to his little girl. It had placed a heavier weight in Gideon's stomach, as though he was being reminded about what was missing. Not just her, but everything that went with her too. Her smile, her sweetness, her unyielding decency.

''How did this happen Jason?''

Hotchner's voice was unusually soft as it pushed through the sigh, his head lowered down as he put his hands on his hips. For a moment, he closed his eyes, letting every single fear and worry flow through him. He allowed to feel it all, the desperation, the anger, the guilt.

''I don't know.''

''We should have seen this. _I _should have seen this.''

Looking up again, the steely edge of resentment and culpability swept through Hotchner's voice as his eyes glowered intently. He expected himself to protect his team. He hadn't. He should have spotted the signs, but he had been too preoccupied. Funny, how he had worried when he had initially worried that a relationship between them would preoccupy JJ and Emily and damage a case. But it had been Emily, and only Emily, that had harboured a deeper warning sign than the rest of them. Than him, as he had become too preoccupied with the case.

''Hey, you can't blame yourself.''

''Can't I? I sent her out with that bastard. Just like I sent Elle home that day.''

The self accusation pierced the air like a shotgun going off, stalling everyone for a moment. Even himself. Everything Elle had been through, Hotchner wondered constantly about. What if he had never sent her home that day? She would never have been shot in her own home, never had to go through a gruelling surgery and months of rehabilitation and therapy. She never would have felt violated. She never would have shot someone in cold blood, letting all of that cloud her mind. Was it her own fault, for doing something she knew was wrong? For not asking for help? Or was it is, for putting her in that position? Like Emily was now, in that position.

''Aaron…don't.''

Gideon warned, seeing the self recrimination, as Reid stepped forward meekly, shaking his head.

''It's not your fault, Hotch.''

Hotchner turned to the younger man, glowering even more intently now.

''Think JJ believes that?''

He demanded sharply. Reid opened his mouth, but stopped immediately as he frowned. Not knowing how to respond, he just simply looked at his superior. For some reason, he was surprised to see the knowledge there. He guessed he shouldn't have been, it was Hotchner after all. And from that look in Gideon's eyes, he knew too.

''Where is JJ?''

Gideon wondered lightly, suddenly very concerned about the young woman. There hadn't been any time for him to see her, and briefly he wondered who had broken the news to her and how she had taken it. He wondered now how she was handling it. He imagined that she had an air of sombre professionalism about her. A quiet despair that was easily detectable, but a gritty resolve to do something. JJ wasn't the kind to be bent so far that she broke.

''She erm…she went to watch Morgan interrogate Dolton.''

Reid responded, again his voice meek and willowy, boyish. He looked down, also thinking about his friend and what if anything he could do for her. Realistically, he knew there was nothing. She would simply ask him to do his job, because time spent coddling her was his time spent away from finding Emily.

''He say anything yet?''

''Other than demanding a lawyer and asking for the DA, no. But we have his ring. Same design that was burnt into Kate Anderson. Prentiss was right, he definitely killed her. But he's not budging on anything else. Neither are his buddies.''

''So let's go over what we have, we need to comb over every detail.''

As Reid opened his mouth, yet again he was stopped. Not of his own accord this time, but from a small but detectable noise that make him turn to the table and look at the open laptop sat there.

''Anyone there?''

The laptop spoke, in the familiar tone of Quantico's finest computer tech. Hotchner turned the laptop toward them, coming face to face with a very pale and distraught looking Garcia. All humour had drained from her, but there was a silent something running through her too.

''Where here Garcia, what do you have for us?''

''As per Emily's request, I've been digging into Dolton. Get this, he and his fellow psycho's had complaints registered against them left right and centre. A good deal of which were made by one Miller Anderson.''

She reported quickly, still tapping away on her keys and looking over at various screens before her.

''Anderson? As in _Kate_ Anderson?''

Reid squeaked in confusion.

''Yeah, her husband. He claimed that Dolton harassed him and his wife, and tried to set him up for crimes he didn't commit.''

''Dolton tried to pin these murders on him? Why?''

It wasn't a question to be answered, simply a question that Gideon asked himself quietly, looking just as confused as Reid as his mind turned the new information through his cogs.

''Garcia can you get us…''

''I've started the search already.''

The quirky blonde cut Hotchner off, almost with a sound of annoyance.

''Good, what do you have so far?''

''Besides the wiggins? He was removed from his family home at the tender age of 6 after social services placed charges for severe child abuse and neglect. Look at this.''

There was a fearful and ominous look creeping over her pretty features as she tapped yet another key, making a picture pop up onto the screen. She had only just managed to discover it; apparently getting information on Miller Anderson was even more frustratingly hard as getting it on his wife. Nevertheless, this was an important little snippet. A news article clipping of a redhead being lead to a courthouse in cuffs by the police.

''She fits the first 5 victims' type almost exactly.''

Reid realised, the blocks now starting to fit into place, making him shiver at the startling picture that was beginning to emerge.

''What does this mean?''

Garcia cringed, not exactly wanting to ask the question, but having to. She also tensed up on the edge of her seat as she looked at three glum faces as they looked at one another, with Gideon sighing slowly as he rubbed his forehead.

''It means that Emily came across something bigger than what she thought. A cover up.''

''So…Dolton _didn't _kill those girls?''

Hotchner shook his head, now in full control of himself again, but still feeling everything turn in his stomach.

''No, but he did kill Kate Anderson. Perhaps because he couldn't quite get Miller Anderson for the murders.''

He suggested, making Reid nod quickly.

''So he killed her to provoke her husband. Nice.''

The anger that filtered through such a normally passive voice was clearly noticeable, as was the small sob like noise from Garcia has her face contorted into terror.

''Does this mean…does this mean that Emily is out there with the real unsub?''

She asked fearfully, placing a hand on her stomach to try and steady the feeling inside that told her she was in serious danger of throwing up. She saw so many horrible things flashing across her screens everyday, and putting Emily in those scenarios was horrifying.

''It looks that way. We need everything you can get us on Miller Anderson.''

Gideon responded gently, knowing that Garcia was about to spin out of control in her worry and grief so therefore needed a task. She needed it, and they needed her. And like the trooper she was, she nodded, again with that determination not to let anyone, herself or Emily down.

''Yes Sir.''

**New Jersey**

**Thursday **

**12:05am**

''What did you just say?''

Anderson blinked, actually looking too stunned and overwhelmed, as though he had just been betrayed by someone very close to him. And to his audacity, his voice wavered, like Reid's did when he was disappointed or upset. This bastard was acting like someone she considered her baby brother.

''You heard me. It _is _your fault your wife is dead. As soon as she found out what you were, she couldn't stand you. You got her killed. If you'd have let her go, she might still be alive now.''

She spat tauntingly, each word dripping with that powerful fury and mocking disdain. Each word, she could tell, bit into him, making him flinch and shake. Her eyes bore into him, narrowed and intense, usually deep blue now dark with her seething hatred. She was too far gone, her sole concentration on the man before her, the blood rushing through her and the steady but forceful boom of her heart, to take any satisfaction from her infliction of pain upon him. The only thing she took from him shaking, flinching and his pathetic little bit of crying was that he was distracted. He wasn't paying any attention to anything around him, and that gave her the advantage. She wasn't exactly sure it was the greatest advantage, but at this stage, all doubts about her line of thinking had stopped, giving way to the sheer adrenaline she was running off.

''You stop. Shut up!''

He screamed almost widely, a crack still running through his voice making it squeak. He looked at her warningly, but fearfully. As if he was scared of her words alone.

''No, you're a murderer Mr Anderson. Everything you did to those innocent women…''

''_They weren't innocent_!''

''…everything you did, they did to Kate. And there were 4 of them. That's _your _fault. You talk about pureness and love? You don't know what the hell that means. You're just an obsessed psychotic that can't control himself. You inflict pain.''

Shaking his head violently, his whole body shaking now as he was confronted with the truth, Anderson was too irrational to notice JJ advancing on him as she let the contemptuous words pour out of her mouth.

''Shut up! I'll kill her, I will.''

He warned again, but JJ never relented in burning wholes in him with her eyes. Never ceased that disturbingly hateful look that made him nervous and thoughtless. She knew she had him completely off his guard right now. She knew that he didn't even have the gun pointed at Emily's head even more, it was facing the floor. She had used his own hatred of women against him, and combined wit her own fury, her plan was starting to work. But it wasn't this part that was the most dangerous.

''You couldn't even stop killing for your wife, could you? That isn't love, you did nothing for her.''

JJ taunted, taking away the only thing he had been gripping onto inside of himself. How could someone like him know love? Know what it feels like to have something so very beyond special that you would sacrifice your own soul for it? He was a deranged serial killer, he couldn't possibly know.

''I loved her.''

''No you didn't, you're not capable. She was butchered, _because of you_.''

He screamed then, and JJ almost heard the snap echo from his mind and through the room. She had done it. She had pushed him as far as he would go and right over the edge. She didn't particularly feel good that she had to use a victim to do that, but whatever got the job done. That was the second time in the last day that time seemed 

to slow down. Her mind began to shut down, as she relinquished control to all of her basic functions. It was all just awareness now. There were no actual feelings left, just pure determination. An overwhelming drive to get Emily out of this house alive. If she had to give herself over to something she had never quite felt in such a way before, so be it. If she had to risk her life, die even, so be it.

Within the echoing walls of this slowed time, JJ watched as Anderson lifted his gun now, after he suddenly realised it had ended up being aimed at the floor. As he cocked it, his eyes focused on her instead of JJ. Which was a big mistake. Because if he had still been focusing on her, he wouldn't have been taken by surprise. He would have known she was rushing at him, closing the distance quickly until their bodies collided heavily.

JJ did register the heavy grunt that was expelled as she slammed into Anderson with every fibre of strength she had, pushing him back and ramming him into the wall, hard. Without missing a beat, as her arms pushed against his chest, she forced her leg upward, slamming her knee into his groin. The yelp of pain was only a dull noise floating in her head, and it didn't make her stop in her assault. As he bent over quickly, her knee came up swiftly again to connect with his stomach seconds before she brought an elbow right down into his back. A blow that made him stagger forward, and although he dropped his gun, sending it skidding along the cold hard surface, he didn't go down like he was supposed to go down. Instead he wheezed heavily, but somehow mustered the energy to lunge forward, and the faint sensation of shock managed to penetrate her autopilot type trance, as she was tackled to the ground.

''You were supposed to be different.''

Immediately, JJ began to struggle beneath him. Her training poking through into her mind, telling her to keep moving, gain the advantage. But the punch she took to the face disorientated her a little bit as her head snapped to the side, giving him chance to wrap his hands around her neck. It was hard enough to breathe as it was, with him on top of her, but now it was beyond hard. It was excruciating, combined with the indescribable pain that came along with being strangled with an intent to be killed.

Through the pain though, driven by her one single aim and relying on her training to help her, JJ continued to struggle and resist. From underneath his weight, the determined Agent managed to break her arm free, and immediately took the opportunity to hit him, hard. As Anderson was pushed back a little bit by the blow, it gave her a wider range of movement, and also let her achieve the momentum to palm him in the nose. There was a rather satisfying crunch under her hand, and a pained yelp ringing through the air almost a second later before Anderson fell back slightly.

Now bleeding from his broken nose, with his eyes tearing from the pain that was making him groggy, the scruffy man grabbed his gun again as he yanked himself to his feet. He wavered slightly as he stood over, not being able to stop staggering about due to the pain she had inflicted upon him. It didn't stop him from aiming the gun at the blonde bitch though, through the water in his eyes. But apparently, he wasn't the only one pushing through pain. Because she pulled herself up too, and rushed at him yet again.

This time, as JJ levelled Anderson at the wall, she barred one arm across his chest as the other grabbed the hand he held his gun in. They struggled closely, their bodies hardly moving because the real struggle was to gain control of that gun. JJ's stance didn't allow him any freedom to move. They both knew that whichever one of them ended up with the control, would win this entire fight by ending the others life. For him, it was a battle spurred by the instinct to live. For her, it was so much more than that. She had the instinct to make sure Emily lived, which was overriding her own too. She was fighting for Emily, for both of them. For the life they had together. For the love they shared. And for every single person out there that Emily would go on to help, for the good she would do by putting serial offenders away.

Jennifer had let those thoughts overtake her. Let her mind wonder, her head being clouded by her personal feelings. It was in the midst of these thoughts that the gun went off loudly, still positioned between them. And as the loud pop resonated through the whole room, JJ blinked. She realised too that because of this haze, her body had dropped numb. Leaving her wondering if she would have registered being shot.

**Precinct**

**4:50am**

With a look of pure exhaustion, Morgan shuffled back into the side room, finding only Hotchner standing alone in there and giving him a glum, dissatisfied look. He hadn't given Dolton one single break when he had him in the box. Relentlessly, he had gotten into his face, intimidated and asked him rapid fire questions, often repeating them or changing them to see if he got the same answers. It had been all he could do to stop himself from hitting him again. But he had gotten nowhere on Emily. And after he had finally stepped out, he became astutely aware of how tired he was, as the situation really took hold of him.

''After the DA gave him a deal, Dolton finally caved. They killed Kate Anderson to get to her husband, like you said. But they have no idea where he is.''

He summed up, although Hotchner had known what that look he had been wearing was all about.

''Great. I guess we'll just have to hope Garcia can give us something to work with. She's having some difficulty with tracking this guy though.''

''She'll pull through for us, she always does. What can we do until then?''

Morgan frowned slightly as he thought about Garcia, back at the office all alone. He wondered if she had remembered to eat. If she had even stepped out of her office. He knew how she got when the people she loved were threatened. He knew how much it hurt, how much she really felt things. He wanted to be there, to put his arms around her and tell her everything would be okay. He wanted to give her comfort, and make her feel better by feeling the love he held for her. But then he felt a pang of guilt stab him, as he wondered if JJ would ever get that chance with Emily again if they didn't find her soon enough.

''Honestly Morgan? I don't have a clue. Gideon and Reid have been out helping the search for a while. Uni's are going through neighbourhoods in Reid's map one by one, but I don't think we have that kinda time.''

Morgan nodded as he rubbed the back of his neck, choosing to remain silent although he was clearly upset. A moment's pause drifted by, until the younger man couldn't stand it anymore. Swiftly, he swung his foot at one of the metal paper trash cans, kicking it clear across the room to let out his frustration. He had just needed to do something to vent. And as Hotchner just looked at him, he held up his hand in gesture that he was okay, and he wasn't about to go mental and trash everything else.

''Where's JJ?''

He asked, realising that she hadn't followed Morgan back into the room and knowing that she had been watching him interrogate Dolton. Hotchner sure as hell hoped that Morgan hadn't left her alone with the bastard, or at least, part of him didn't. The other couldn't bring up the morals to actually care what she would do to him.

''She erm…she went outside to get some air.''

Nodding once, the unit chief walked out of the room, wanting to make sure his young Agent was coping. She was so strong in so many ways, but he knew if it had been Hailey then he would have liked some support too. He felt a small pang of nerves, because he hadn't actually seen JJ since Emily had been taken. Part of him, a very small part of him, didn't want to face her. He didn't want those usually warm blue eyes staring at him accusingly, blaming him for all of this. But he knew he had to. He knew this wasn't about how bad he felt. As an Agent in his team, JJ needed him. As a friend, JJ needed him. So he made his way outside, prepared to take whatever it was that was coming to him.

Walking outside, he took in a deep breath from the cold but fresh morning air. It was still dark, but light enough to see JJ standing further down the pathway, leaning on the railings and staring out into nothing. Even from here, she looked different. Deflated, like some of the life had been stolen out of her. Which he supposed it had been. She didn't even notice him sidle over toward her. And as Hotchner saw her shivering, he slipped off his jacket automatically and draped it over her shoulders, which of course then got her attention. JJ looked up at him after turning her head slowly, seemingly confused as to how he had gotten there.

''Thanks.''

The blonde finally spoke when her brain caught up with her. She had been standing out here for what felt like a few minutes, but seeing as she had slipped away into her own thoughts, she couldn't really tell. She hadn't even been aware how cold she was, until Hotchner had snapped her out of her daze, and she really was thankful for his warm, large suit jacket.

''She's tough, JJ. She'll hold out until we find her. Just believe in her.''

After a moment sailed by, Hotchner spoke deftly, nodding in affirmation as he did. JJ looked up at him again, turning his words over in her head. She wasn't a press liaison for nothing; she knew a structured phrase when she heard one. And even if she didn't, dating Emily would have taught her. Emily was hyper aware of the words people chose to use, and what words she chose to use in return, being a linguist and all. So as JJ thought about it, her eyes narrowed slightly, as she still looked up at her supervisor.

''How long have you known?''

She asked, finally, knowing now that he clearly knew about her relationship with the missing woman. A part of her smirked inwardly, having found out that she had been right in her suspicions that Hotchner did indeed know about them. And instantly, naturally, she thought about how she couldn't wait to tell Emily in a very smug manner. But her amusement was stopped short abruptly.

''A while. Didn't think you could keep it from us forever, did you?''

''No. Actually, we had decided to tell you and Gideon. After…after the case had ended. Never expected for her to _be _the case.''

JJ explained, feeling herself spiral a bit as she spoke. She had stood and watched Morgan question Dolton. He had told her to stay outside of the room, and she had stood and watched with Captain Rosenberg, arms crossed and an angry scowl etched into her 

forehead. The things he had said had disgusted her. About his job, about Kate Anderson and about Emily. Her eyes had barely moved away from the disgraced Detective, she had barely blinked. On the outside, she was sure she looked as calm as she was going to get in the face of her fellow FBI Agent going missing. Captain Rosenberg hadn't seemed to notice that there was actually the Mother of all storms raging through every inch of her, flowing through her blood. It was still raging now.

JJ sighed softly as she felt Hotchner put a hand on her shoulder, and for some reason her mouth engaged before her brain thought about it.

''You know, she told her Mom about us this weekend. Said that she loved me too much to hide it from her, wanted her to know because we weren't messing around. We're supposed to go for dinner on Sunday. And up until a few hours ago, that was the only thing that was terrifying me. And now? I don't even know if I'll get to see her again.''

Undetected by Hotchner, her words came out more as speculation. Like she was speaking to herself, realising out loud that every single plan that she and Emily had made together could possibly never come about. The lunch on Sunday, the trip they were planning on taking, the weekend in New York that they were going to pick a show to see. Right down to the movie night that they were having with Morgan, Garcia and Reid. It just wasn't acceptable. Standing here wallowing wasn't acceptable. She could do better than this for her girlfriend. She could do what she was good at, and actually help discover something that would lead them to her. She had been through the files over and over since the moment they had come across her desk. She had seen what this guy did to women; she had been the one to give the blow by blow details to the rest of the team. She knew what this guy did, and picturing Emily alone with him just wasn't acceptable. It didn't fit.

''You can't…''

''She's out there, Hotch. With him. And I've seen what he does. What kind of pain those girls went through. And Emily is out there, all alone. And god knows what he'll do to her if he thinks she had a hand in what Dolton did to his wife. So don't try and tell me to be strong, or tell me to get some rest or treat me like a family member of the latest victim. Give me something to do that will help us find her.''

Hearing that distinct thread of determined strength he had come to know of JJ, Hotchner sighed slowly as he looked at her intently. He wasn't insulted, she was right in saying she didn't need to be treated like some family member. She didn't need platitudes, she needed to work. Mulling over her words, Hotchner thought for a moment as he looked down, a frown of concentration hanging over his forehead.

''You can do something. You can hold another press conference.''

He responded, making JJ frown too, but with confusion instead.

''Why?''

''Because we're going to try and lure Anderson out by splashing Dolton's name everywhere. If he thinks we've pinned everything on Dolton, he may try to contact us. It's a long shot, but it's still a shot. And at least he may get the idea that Emily isn't working with Dolton.''

He looked back at her again, seeing that steely gaze of professionalism and strength wash through very tired and very stricken eyes. Eyes that had ceased to glow in any form now, which was a heartbreaking thing to see. Not once since he had known JJ had he seen them quite like that. Dull, lifeless almost. So very beyond broken. There had been difficult times. A lot of them. The cases she saw, the things she had been through. Her personal dilemmas and crises'. She had confided in him before, and he had always been grateful for that. It was his gain that she knew she could turn to him if she needed to, because knowing JJ was a very good thing. He was glad that she had found someone he considered worthy of her, because he had always secret protectiveness of her like a big brother would have. He didn't show it a lot, always wanting to be the professional. But he knew she had noticed when they had talked. He knew it was okay by her. And right now, he wished he could use it to make her feel better. But the only thing that would make her feel better was finding Emily.

''Okay. I'll start calling, but I don't think it'll be before 6.''

He blinked, seeing that JJ pushed herself away from the railing now, and had turned to face him properly. He could already see the cogs turning in her head, and was glad to see a glimmer of that sparkle back in her eyes now she could move in a forward direction.

''Do what you can.''

''You got it.''

JJ replied, firm and without preamble as she thought about how she could pull this together without wasting too much time. The reporters had gone home hours ago, when they had been told that she would not as of yet be giving out anything since she was working in the field. She was hoping that they were ready to pounce back into action, but reality told her that it may take a little effort to get them here with any kind of quickness. Despite that, she was now set about waking up quite a lot of people. Slipping Hotchner's jacket off, she handed it back to him before walking back inside.

**NJ **

**4:50am**

Bones breaking was a very specific sound. A sound that most people could never quite prepare for. The sound clips on the television never got them quite right. Never completely reached that sickening level that hit your stomach as you heard it, even though they came close enough to make shivers run down your spine and your nose to screw up in disgust.

Emily had first heard a bone snap when she had fallen right off of her horse at the tender age of 9, and had broken her wrist. As she had fallen, the youngster had felt this strange level of peace. Not what you would expect as you were sailing through the air after being bucked by a stubborn and rebellious horse, careering toward the floor, but it had happened none the less. Emily hadn't fought the fall. As most people's instincts would have caused them to tense and cling on, every one of hers had told her to let go. Relinquish control to the force of propulsion and gravity around her. Somewhere deep inside she knew that if she just gave up that control, and remained calm and kept her body relaxed, she was less likely to suffer too much damage.

Besides the broken wrist, which had broken due to a rather awkwardly positioned landing, she had been right. But because of this newfound serenity, she had heard the snap. And it had been just that, a snap. Hearing it then had made her want to puke. Hearing it now made her want to do the same.

After hearing that snap, the pain caught up with her quickly, rushing through her so fast and hard that she yelled and moaned as it happened. Those days of distant and innocent intellect seeped away from her, making her face her harsh reality once more as she tried to breathe through the burning pain that came from her left arm. Her breathing attempts came out more as uneven pants as she wobbled on her knees slightly, her body sagging as the pain mixed with the disorientation she was still blanketed by.

Emily wasn't exactly sure how long she had been here for. Could have been a day, week or a year for all she knew. All she did know, was that she seriously did not want to be here. She didn't want to have to fight to remember things from her life. She didn't want to have to hold onto things that she only got fleeting glances off when the drugs that were tainting her blood started to wear off slightly. There was a difference, she knew, to relinquishing control the time she fell from her horse to relinquishing control to her captor. A man she didn't know, didn't understand and who had given her no real reason as to why he was doing this to her. And that, that terrified her. All of this, it terrified her. She just refused to give away that control, that spirit and fight, because she did know that she had great things to hold onto. She did, even without realising it, know who she was. Emily Prentiss was a fighter. Emily Prentiss had never backed down from a challenge so easily. She faced most of her fears, and she fought. That's who she was. And he couldn't take that away from her, no matter what he did.

''You know what happens to whores like you? Everything you did to her, _everything_, you'll feel so much worse.''

Emily didn't even flinch at the irate screaming. She bowed her head a little, still gritting and panting through her pain and battling the affects that the drugs he had shot her with. She shivered relentlessly, because at some point during this latest torture session, her scruffy captor had drenched her with freezing cold water again. The chill had bitten into her skin and slid underneath, refusing to move after it did. A feeling she didn't particularly welcome, and had become all too aware of.

''I didn't…_do _anything.''

Her voice was barely above a flat whisper, slurred and cracked with pain. That underlying conviction, or stubbornness, refusing just as adamantly to subside. Probably something she had perfected growing up in the household that she had. Prentiss' simply did not give in. Ever. They were convicted and relentless, so solid that they did not break. It was one of the explanations she had mulled over to why she had such a cold childhood. But maybe those lessons had served her well now.

The full fisted blow to the face did not attest to that though. Emily was instead sent hurtling to the cold hard floor, yet again, making her cough heavily, once again trying to breathe through the pain. Her chest burned as she wheezed, a protest of the kicks she had received to the stomach earlier to wake her up. Those glimpses she had been holding on to, she held on even tighter now as her mind spiralled. Sprawled on the floor, panting and groaning, it was all she could do to retreat from such a burden of hurt. She followed one specific glimpse now, pushing through fog, only to end up in the small hotel room that she had left…whenever it had been.

Emily could see the bed, still unmade, with two ready cases opened up at the bottom end of it. One hers of course, and one JJ's. Just being able to see something that belonged to the woman she loved gave her a little peace, and slowly she began to forget about the condition she was in. Instead, she walked forward, moving toward those cases. Gingerly, she picked up one of the tops inside JJ's bag, lifting it up to her face. It was soft, and it smelt like the blonde. Emily knew exactly what JJ smelt like; she had learnt it off by heart even before they had started dating. But when they had, and they spent nights apart still, Emily had loved to hug the pillow that still had a lingering smell of her lover covering it. And it came back to her now, reminding her of exactly what she did have to hold on to. If her strength faltered, which she knew it partly would at some point, she'd hold on to JJ's instead. The strength that would be free of pain from brutal torture techniques invented by the disturbed mind of the scruffy guy. The only thing that troubled her, right in this very instance of her withdrawal from reality, was if she had told JJ that she loved her today. It worried her greatly that she hadn't, and she looked around her minds version of the room, desperately trying to recall if she had. She _needed _to know, as intensely as she needed air. But her head was still so foggy. And the vision was rudely interrupted by a sharp stabbing in her arm.

''What…what is that? What're you giving me?''

She demanded groggily, panic creeping into her as she was barely able to watch him inject her yet again. She hated how that crap made her feel. It didn't take away anything, it added to it. Sure, it knocked her out. But when she woke up again, she felt like she had been shoved through a grinder. And he was doing enough physical damage to make her feel like that already. She had already figured out, somewhere along the line during this last beating, that he either had some military experience or some prison experience. He had picked up some 'interesting' tricks. Failing that, he was just demented and had practiced his techniques. Getting her to kneel without a break, keeping her wet and cold, not letting her know if it was even light or dark and every answer to a question followed by a kick, or a hit or a break. Keeping her drowsy and unable to think properly, she definitely recognised some of that.

''Somethin' to keep you docile. But don't worry; you'll still feel every single thing after you wake up.''

Dark eyes shifted from the needle sticking into her arm, which she noticed faintly may not exactly be the cleanest thing in the world, and up to the face close to her. There was a complete lack of compassion in his eyes, and the threatening promise he had given her, she knew, would turn out to be true. The profiler in her tried to emerge, speak to her and give her clues from the things she had subconsciously noticed, but before she could make anything out of them, she just slipped into darkness again. The last real thing she remembered was a question to herself. _Did I tell Jennifer I love her?_

**5:00am**

''This is useless. It's all just…useless.''

Pushing the reports she had been forcing herself to go through away from her, JJ broke the uneasy silence that had settled into the room, making everyone look up at her as she sighed. No one spoke for a moment, as she rubbed at her forehead, then blinked hard and ran a hand through her hair, obviously trying to get a grip of her composure. They had been sitting here, in silence, for what she considered a ridiculous amount of time. And the words on the paperwork in front of her were just blurry nonsense that her mind had drifted far away from as soon as she started. Instead it ping pong-ed between a stream of images. They were either good images, like the Sunday that she had actually managed to get Emily out of the house. JJ had had to coax her out with promise of sexual favours, but if that's what it took, she had decided to sacrifice that particular burden! It had been in the height of summer, and Washington had been living in a heat wave for weeks. They had made a picnic hamper and driven a little way out of town, finding a rolling stretch of beautiful countryside to settle on. They had sprawled out on a blanket, taking turns in reading one of the books they had brought and talking as they went. It had been glorious, one of her particular favourite memories. But then her thoughts bounced onto what Emily must have been going through right now. Trapped all alone with a serial torturer, rapist and murderer.

''She's not wrong. We're chasing our tails here.''

Morgan supported the conclusion, raising a questioning eyebrow between Hotchner and Gideon as if he expected them to think of something else right then and there.

''This is all we have.''

Gideon noted quietly, feeling the younger Agents' frustrations. He didn't like this anymore than they did. Anymore than one more than everyone else liked this. But he couldn't magically change the situation. It was what it was.

''We're buried here man. Dolton made sure of it. That sick son of a bitch covered the fact he couldn't catch a serial killer and made a mountain of paper, and now Emily is paying for it.''

Morgan complained accusingly, letting his anger getting the best of him and speaking before he thought about his words. Hotchner lifted his head slightly, sending a warning glare at him as he did.

''Morgan…''

Scowling like an irritated parent, Hotchner let his warning remain in that one word. He knew Morgan would understand it, that he didn't want him going off on one with reckless abandon and reminding JJ of how bad things were.

''He can say it, Hotch. I'm not a baby.''

JJ pointed out, quietly but firmly. Loud enough for everyone to hear as she levelled an unreadable look toward her boss. As Gideon sighed ever so slowly, her glance turned onto him as he looked back at her.

''Maybe you should get some rest before the press conference?''

''I don't see anyone else resting.''

''JJ, you need…''

Gideon stopped at JJ held up a hand, laughing almost bitterly, to stop him from finishing his sentence.

''_Don't _tell me what I need. Don't tell me how to act, or feel, or what I _should_ do. Stop treating me like I'm going to break. Because I'm not. What good would it do to Emily? I just…I just don't see the point of going through the same things over and over again. Reid already got all the information he could from these, what else is there?''

She snapped, caught between being mad that he was trying to dote over her and understanding that he just wanted to look out for her. So instead she tried to point out what her original comment had been about, tried to bring the conversation back to what they needed to talk about instead of moving in a completely different direction that wouldn't help her girlfriend.

''Nothing. There's nothing. Not until something happens.''

Hotchner sighed, rubbing his own forehead this time as he finally let his staunch look falter to agree with the others. He had been reluctant to, because he didn't want them to lose hope in the only thing they could work through right now.

''Do you think he's likely to call? Anderson I mean?''

Reid wondered both solemnly and quietly, causing Gideon to shrug.

''He might be too paranoid, but I think he'll try and find out if what JJ says to the media is true. Either way, he knows who she is. He knows her name, he knows she's FBI. It could help.''

**6:35am**

It was the persistent cold that got through the darkness first. Making her aware, yet again, that this all wasn't a bad dream. She wasn't just about to wake up in her bed, or JJ's bed, warm and content and be able to snuggle into the blonde and drift off to sleep again peacefully. And every inch of her longed for that, right now.

It took the dark haired Agent a good couple of minutes to try and focus, but as her eyes drifted open, everything was slurred and slanted. Through the thickness, she supposed it was the drugs. And perhaps the repeated knocks to the head she'd already taken. She tried to sit up, but immediately winced and stopped her efforts as she was reminded that her head wasn't the only thing that had taken a heavy assault, her stomach and ribs had too. So instead, helplessly laid out on the stone floor, Emily concentrated on trying to focus some more. There was an odd sound reaching her ears, echoing and dull. She couldn't make it out at first, noise was now pretty alien. She had only heard his voice for what felt like a long while now. Cringing as she tried to move slowly into a better position, so everything hurt a little less, Emily began to see things a little more clearly. Specifically, she saw the scruffy guy slumped on the couch in the next room, where she had seen him go in before. His head was drooped forward, and he wasn't moving. He was asleep. That was good. It would give her time to start coming around, give her time to think and try and get a better look at her surroundings.

Determined not to just lie here and take her abuse, Emily tried to muster the effort to concoct some sort of plan. Those thoughts though, were stopped abruptly as her breath caught in her chest. Not out of pain, or cold or fear. But because she heard one single voice that drifted out from the rest of the alien noise. One voice that no matter what happened to her, she knew she would always separate from anything else and respond to immediately. Quickly, she aimed her focus on the TV that was on again, seeing once again that smudge of familiar blonde across the screen.

''Thank you for coming. I'd like to give you an update, then I'll take your questions. Late last night, the FBI and the New Jersey PD arrested Detective's Fisher, Holland and Dolton…''

The motionless lump on the couch stirred to life quickly, seemingly edged on by JJ's voice from the press conference she was obviously giving. It was a relief to Emily that Dolton had been arrested, it gave her a tiny bit of hope that he had given her team some idea of how and where to look for her. And also, JJ had given her something back. She said 'last night'. Something she thought was possibly said intentionally, just in case she was listening. It wasn't specific, but it gave her a timeline to work with.

''In connection with the seven murders we have been investigating. The Detectives are still currently being questioned, but Detective Dolton has confessed to the brutal murder of 33 year old Kate Anderson. Special Agent Emily Prentiss has been steering this particular part of the investigation, her efforts discovered yesterday that Detective Dolton was involved.''

Her girlfriend was smart, Emily had to muse. And even right here, a smirk reached her lips. For a moment, she forgot about the pain she was suffering. She just watched the bright sunshine yellow smudge, thankful that she was alert enough to sift through JJ's words and take her meaning to heart. JJ wasn't just speaking to her, but to the scruffy man. She was trying to get him to see who she was.

''_What?_''

And it sounded like it might be working.

''Right now every effort is being made to find _Miller Anderson_. We believe Detective Dolton tried to cover up his heinous crimes by placing suspicion onto him. If Mr Anderson is watching, please contact us immediately. We deeply regret the situation, and would like to apologise to Mr Anderson for the suffering he has been caused. Thank you.''

Underneath her 'press conference' voice, and even through everything she was feeling, Emily could still pick up the exhaustion in JJ's voice. The intense fear and worry. The team probably didn't realise it, because she would be determined to help in the search. Emily knew JJ well. The blonde would be insisting to be in the thick of things, not wanting to let her down. Thinking that anything less, she would be betraying her somehow. And it filled her up with warmth, knowing she had someone so devoted to her. It made her feel so special, so loved and adored. It gave her something extra to grab hold of. It gave her an image in her mind of being in the middle of a twister, but feeling so safe because she got to wrap her arms around JJ. But, it made her feel sad too. And worried. She didn't want JJ to burn out. She didn't want her to be there to find her, should anything worse happen. She didn't want her to blame herself. And she was sure that JJ would find a way to blame herself.

The scruffy man, who she now knew to be Miller Anderson, stood from his sitting position, making her flinch slightly. He just paced for a moment, balling and un-balling his hands into and from fists as he muttered to himself. Emily knew it was stupid to hope everything would be fine now. After hearing that, the obviously deranged killer would just let her go with his apologise. Yet, she hoped for it anyway.

''This is another trick, isn't it? This is him. It's always him.''

He demanded, clearly worked up at what he had just heard, struggling with it as he hovered in the doorway, looking down at her with pure disdain running through cruel eyes. He was the one. The one that killed the four victims. It was as clear as it could be now. It hurt, but Emily forced some thoughts to the surface through her throbbing pain. Miller Anderson had been the unsub the team were looking for, responsible for those five women and probably Detective Delly. She had been looking for Dolton. He had pushed Anderson off the deep end, sending him into a state of devolution after killing his wife.

''It's true. I…I know what he did.''

''Don't you lie to me woman. You all lie; it's what you're good at. You took away the only thing that made sense, that was wonderful and special. You took away the only thing I ever loved. You have any idea what that feels like? To have your soul ripped away from you?''

She did feel it; she was feeling it right now. All this pain, all the thickness of her head and the biting cold surrounded her whole body. That was easy to take; compared to knowing just how much JJ was suffering. She was hurting through her blonde lover, and it was so much more intense than anything he could do to her.

''I didn't do that to you. I didn't.''

There went that stubborn streak again, raising its head and getting her into trouble. But she persisted for a couple of reasons. The first being, it was automatic. She simply refused to admit to something she hadn't done, especially something like that. The second was, she just knew, if she relented and confessed just to stop the pain, he'd kill her. She had to draw this out. She had to go through torture to save her own life, to give the team time to find her, to get back to JJ. So she was willing to endure it. That was her last remaining vow to herself, as she once again slipped into darkness after Anderson had grabbed her upward slightly with one hand, and hit her forcefully enough to knock her out with the other.

She was out cold by the time he injected her yet again with the drug he had been using to keep her submissive.

''Just to keep you quiet when I'm gone.''

**7:30am**

''Guys?''

From their various positions around the room, the team all looked up as they heard Garcia's voice interject the moderate quietness that was only disturbed by the low ponderings of Hotchner and Reid who were scanning the map, and Morgan and JJ's low whisperings as Morgan gave his friend some moral support. Gideon was lost in his own thoughts, writing on a little pad.

Morgan leaned over to the middle of the table where the laptop was placed, puling it around to face JJ and himself. A pale, tired yet still beautiful face began to melt as Garcia came the closest to face to face as she was going to get with her best friend right now. She had been sending messages back and forth to JJ, but had yet to talk to her properly.

''Hey, my girl. How you holding up?''

JJ smiled wearily, keeping one elbow propped on the table so she could lean her head on it, and another hand underneath the table so no one could tell she was actually holding onto Morgan's hand right now.

''I'm doing okay. Just concentrating on one thing at a time.''

''I wish I could be there with you sweetie. I love you so much.''

The blatant sincerity in Garcia's voice made JJ's eyes flash for a moment, lessening the emptiness everyone had spotted within them.

''I know, thank you. I love you too.''

Garcia nodded, relieved that she could bring some sort of comfort to her friend at such a horrendous time. She had to hand some serious kudos to JJ, because she wouldn't have been coping half as well if it were Morgan. That's one of the reasons she had been holding down her battle station, staving off sleep as best she could. If she could help resolve that situation in anyway, she was sure as hell going to find how.

''Okay, well, I finished collecting all I could about Miller Anderson. And it wasn't easy, even for me. This guy seriously knew how to cover his tracks well. But I managed to come up with a list of homes from his foster care days and thereafter. Also, I've rooted into his past as best I could to find some names you could talk to, you know, kids he lived with? Relatives and friends, guys he did time with. That sort of thing.''

She informed, tapping her keys as she did so that what she had put together went straight to them so that they could have a look through it. It bugged her that it had been so difficult to chase down this guy through all the zig zags that came up, but she was glad that she finally had. She had flat out refused to be defeated when her friend's life hung in the balance.

''That's great Baby Girl, that'll really help.''

Morgan encouraged softly, giving her a smile to try and make her feel a little better.

''Good, I'm sending what I've come up with as we speak.''

''Did you manage to find a recent address for him?''

JJ wondered almost hopefully, but only gaining a look of guilt in return. She hadn't expected it to be that easy. Not after the serious amount of tracking down his guy had had her friend doing.

''If you call three years ago recent. I'm sorry Jayj. The only address I have after that is Kate Anderson's address.''

''And we know he isn't there.''

Hotchner spoke up, mostly thinking to himself as JJ sighed and rubbed her forehead again, trying to remove some of the thickness from her mind.

''So we're going to have to search every one of these addresses, and talk to everyone one by one?''

She concluded grimly, the concept of so much time stretching out before her putting a sickly taste in her mouth.

''We have no other choice.''

Gideon spoke, nodding softly as he agreed with JJ's conclusion. Again, not something that was particularly appealing. Still, it was better than nothing. It was better than looking through faulty paperwork and coming up with a half cocked profile because they didn't know the exact ins and outs of Miller Anderson's life yet. He hadn't made a move, not even after the press conference. There were a couple of phones in the room for the tip line, as well as some more set up inside the bullpen. Garcia was watching each line, of course. Like their guardian angel.

''I wish I could have gotten more.''

Tilting her head, JJ shook her head softly, offering the other blonde a sweet look. The last thing she wanted was for Garcia to take any blame for this. It simply wasn't the case. But like the people they were, they all jumped in to take the responsibility. At the end of the day, realistically, JJ knew no one was to blame. And she knew Emily would hold no one accountable. Especially Garcia.

''It's not your fault, Penelope.''

**10:30am**

After finally mounting up, Morgan had gotten his chance to start doing something active. Something he felt could lead them to Emily, rather than staying in one place. Or so he thought. After Hotchner and he had taken some of the houses to start searching with some Officers, he had honestly thought something would pan out. But as he heard 

nothing but shouts of 'clears' vibrate through the house, he felt that useless stagnant feeling come back to him again, making him kick one of the doors angrily.

''What're we doing here, Hotch? This is redundant.''

He shouted, spinning around to face his leader as he holstered his weapon and shrugged underneath the FBI vest. He held up his hand, gesturing for Morgan to pull himself together as best he could.

''I know it's frustrating, but Anderson has been in the wind for a long time. Which is why Dolton could never find him. We know he's here somewhere. He's covered his tracks well until now, but he's been devolving since his wife was killed. I'm positive he'll be somewhere familiar to him. We just have to keep going through these addresses.''

He both placated and mused calmly, summarising the thoughts he had been having since they had looked through some of the information that Garcia had pulled together. That's why he had picked specific houses to target first, hoping that they would be the ones most likely to be used by Anderson. His words though, seemed ineffective as Morgan started at him, letting him see just how scared he was. Hotchner had only seen the other man come near to, or to tears a handful of times before. Usually, he liked to remain in more control in front of people, but this had stripped away his need for that.

''What if…what if he…''

The younger man whispered, far too afraid to reach the end of that sentence.

''Morgan. You don't need that image in your head.''

Hotchner snapped, more to shock Morgan into getting that line of thought out of his head. They had no way to know what was happening to Emily, and it was easy to imagine the worse. It was easy to look at what Anderson had done to those women before, and start building that with Emily in the picture instead. Hotchner wasn't stupid enough to think that it had crossed no ones mind until now, they had all thought about it. But somehow, this was different. The look in Morgan's eyes, was different. She had been gone for so long, and they knew Anderson liked to work up to killing his victims. He would be doing anything to make her talk. Morgan actually voicing that brought that into a harsh reality like a slap to the face.

''At least…at least when Reid was taken we could see what was happening. We have no idea what he's done to her. What he'll do if we can't get to her.''

''I know. The thought has crossed my mind more than once.''

''If he touches her I'll kill him, Hotch.''

Morgan promised seriously, his voice reaching a new level of intensity. Hotchner knew that Morgan didn't mean if Anderson had killed her, that much was clear.

''You know he would have tried to get her to talk by now.''

''No, I mean…''

''I know what you meant. When we find the place, we should keep JJ out until we know exactly what Emily has been through.''

He advised, forcing himself to face up to the idea that it was a distinct possibility. He didn't want to; he didn't like this one bit. Sometimes being the unit chief was something he wished he had never moved up to. But he wouldn't shirk his duties because of his personal feelings. Or let down either woman because he found it a repugnant idea, just like Morgan. He just hoped that it wouldn't come to that.

''Well then, you better hope we find her without JJ there, because I doubt we could keep her out.''


	8. Strength

**8 – Strength**

"_Sometimes even to live is an act of courage." -- _Roman philosopher, mid-1st century AD

**NJ**

**11am**

The water hit her hard and fast, unrelenting in its vindictiveness. Unmerciful and cruel. It bit into her, not only causing pain, but plummeting her into an overwhelming sense of shock that made her feel sick to her stomach. As though she had just been pushed beneath the surface of a sea of ice. It dimmed her sense of everything, even before she had a chance to wake up. Emily never even stood a chance.

The extremely weakened brunette struggled to breathe, the chill of the water impacting upon her chest, making it so much harder to even drag in the equally chilly air that raked through her lungs just as painfully. She couldn't tell what was worse. The disorientation from the drugs, the pain of the physical beatings, or being kept wet and frozen. Somewhere, she knew that the drugs were indeed to keep her relatively quiet. Indicating that she was being kept somewhere that wasn't secluded. It gave her less opportunity to get the bearings and coordination to try and possibly make an escape. The beatings were to try and force her to talk. That, and he obviously liked to inflict pain. The water and the cold? He was trying to punish her. Demoralise her. Break her spirit. It made her weaker, but also more vulnerable than just how it affected her. It wasn't just about the fact she was even more exposed and at his mercy, but it got into her head too. What she wasn't sure of however, was whether it was working or not.

Before she really got to think any of this through though, before she even got to open her eyes properly even, she was dragged up roughly and shoved heavily onto a chair. She tried to curl into the pain in an effort to lessen it somehow as it throbbed through her intently, adding to the welling nausea in her stomach. It was just too much. The drugs, the pain, the cold and wet. Her body was just far too overloaded, and it forced her to lean to the side and throw up. It was somehow disturbingly ironic that the only warmth she felt right now, was when the vomit rushing through her burned on its way up. And it did little to ease any discomfort she was in.

''Tell me everything.''

Emily groaned slightly, breathing in hard as she coughed, trying to lift her head up properly. Right now it felt like a lead weight on her shoulders, and the stability inside of it had slipped, sending her spinning out of control. Like when she had had far too much to drink at her first college party at Yale and ended up stumbling toward her dorm room whilst the world was spinning in different directions around her. She had thrown up then too. And plenty of times after that. But it had never felt quite like this.

''I don't _know_ anything.''

She seethed through gritted death, feeling no small amount of resentment building up within her. In one way, Emily did think that the water was doing its job. He had managed to humiliate her, to demoralise her. He had managed to show her exactly who was in control here, that there was nothing she could do about it, even if she wanted to. She was too weak. In more ways than one. Emily cursed herself for not being more vigilant. She had sensed this. Everything had been telling her that something was going to happen. She should have listened to herself. Trusted her instincts. She should have worked it out faster. She should have paid more attention to those shadows instead of talking on the phone. She was a highly trained FBI Agent, for crying out loud. 

It wasn't supposed to be so easy to take someone like her off of an open street, even if it was lonely and dark. It made her so angry. At herself, at him and at Dolton.

''Tell me what you did to my wife.''

Emily spit out the blood that pooled into her mouth after he hit her again, obviously not liking her response or the tone behind it. This was the most collected she had seen Anderson, he kept striding back and forth like he was interrogating some prisoner of war. Briefly, she wondered if he had acted like this when he had killed those girls. If it was a sign that he was going to step up his treatment of her. But either way, she couldn't and wouldn't falter to his mind games. As part of her knew his tactics were working, they were also making her angrier and that gave her a substantial amount of strength. It was almost like she was indignant, and therefore refused to play his games out of sheer rebellion. Then again, Emily knew she had always been a defiant kind of girl. Her parents had told her that. Her nannies, her teachers, every single one of her supervisors until she had reached the BAU. Hell, even JJ had told her that during a couple of fights. She figured now that it seriously wasn't a bad thing, as she turned her eyes up to look at him, that defiance now showing through her eyes clearly.

''I wasn't involved.''

She replied, steadfast in her innocence. Evidently, that was the wrong answer again. She flinched slightly as he yelled loudly, piercing the previous quiet. Evidently, she had broken that control he had just been exhibiting a moment before. It shattered into a million pieces as he shuddered, almost looking pained as he ran a hand over his scruff features. He didn't know what to do with her, that much was clear. That was good, she thought.

''I…I'm sorry, about your wife. But…I didn't do anything to her. I swear to you. I was here to…to investigate her murder.''

Deciding to try and use his loss of control, Emily changed the tone of her voice in hopes that her honesty would instead reach something within him. The part that was feeling the loss of someone he 'loved'. She didn't mention that she didn't believe he was capable of loving someone. Maybe he had a sick and twisted version of what he considered love, but that wasn't it. He had no idea. But she did. She loved and she was loved, and it made her whole world up. She was complete. Not because she was weak without someone, but because it was just something so beautiful in her life that she had never expected to be there but had indeed longed for.

Emily wasn't a praying kind of woman. She didn't even know what she believed, other than that the world was made up of inconsistent greys, and nothing was ever truly black and white. She believed in the existence of good, of pureness. She believed in the existence of evil and depravity. She believed in those things because she had seen them for herself. But there was still always some driving force behind those things. Like she knew there had to be a driving force behind Anderson. But right now, she did pray. She prayed that she had indeed told Jennifer that she loved her somewhere during the day before she was abducted. She prayed that the woman she loved was being supported and wasn't taking on the burden of guilt. And she prayed that if she died, right here in this rank, horrible little room, that JJ wouldn't turn into a monster. That she wouldn't let it take away her life, and her ability to love again. She prayed that in time, she would move on.

''Shut up. You think I can't tell when you're lying to me? You tell me what you did, and maybe I'll kill you quickly. Otherwise, you know what's going to happen to you. And I'll make it last, believe you me.''

All of a sudden, before Emily even realised that he had moved, her senses too dulled to pick it up, there was an severe pain in her shoulder that made her cry out loudly. It was so sharp that it burned inside of her, each edge of the knife slicing through her distinctively. For one instant, the feeling was so overwhelming that it ceased to be there. Instead, it just overtook everything in her and settled deep into her body, becoming one. For that one moment, absolutely nothing hurt. Emily could breathe, and her body felt warm and relaxed. As though she hadn't been put through the ringer during her hours here. But it was only for an instant.

Her body knew there was something wrong. Something foreign and not right sitting inside of her shoulder, being held there menacingly. And even though her eyes were screwed shut, Emily could almost feel the satisfaction and hatred inside of Anderson's eyes, watching her write in pain. And just when she thought it was subsiding, thankfully, he yanked it out again, causing another sweep of it that made her once again, yell out. Absolutely nothing registered, as she struggled to fight it off. She tried desperately to focus on something to help her, but it was like the knew level of physical violation had produced an impenetrable wall inside of her mind, cutting her off from anything that could bring her comfort. And metaphorically, that was the moment when she both fell to her knees and stood to her feet at exactly the same time.

''You want me to confess to something I didn't do? Well you go to hell. You can do whatever you want to me, but don't for one second believe you're being righteous, I won't let you. I didn't do it. And whatever you do, I'll never say that I did. And just know, if you kill me, you'll be doing the same thing to the person that loves me that Dolton did to you. Taking away what makes life worth living.''

Her voice was still low and quivering, taken over by the bombardment of hurt. But the steely conviction and the intensity of odium she felt for him poured through unmistakably. Whatever had broken so far inside of her, was still not enough to penetrate through her dam of resistance and strength she had. It did little good to her though. It only enraged Anderson further, and began another assault.

**12:05pm**

There was a strangely peaceful silence, sweeping throughout the house. A house that had a very homely, comfortable and warm feeling running throughout it. It actually reminded JJ a lot of her childhood home. Inviting and safe. There were pictures set about, showing happy moments between husband and wife and their children. Painted pictures were kept, little art projects sat on show along shelves. It even smelt like cookies. And briefly, if JJ closed her eyes and listened to the soft breeze outside along with the distant sound of children playing, she felt like she was back there again. A home that she rarely went back to, in a town she had clawed her way out of. Not because of some evil at home, not because there was a lack of love, but simply because she knew if she had stayed, she would have lost her sanity. Now, she wished she was back there, taking comfort in the softness and shelter it had to offer.

''You know, when you called and said you'd like to talk to me about Miller, I wasn't surprised.''

She wasn't at home though, and she couldn't afford to wish she was right now. JJ looked across the square kitchen table she was sat at, along with Reid next to her, toward the woman they had come to interview. She was a warm looking woman, but underneath that was a frailness connected to the deep rooted damage that swilled within pale blue eyes. Eyes that whispered of the horrors she had seen and suffered through. There was a very fragile strength flowing through her, that told everyone in that room that she had been broken before, but had worked hard to try and mend that fracture inside of her. Now they were bringing it all back to her, and she was shaking softly because of it, fearful and pained. Still, Laurie Jessup had still agreed to talk to them about her brother, Miller.

''Why's that?''

Gideon asked softly, looking at her from his standing position not far behind JJ and Reid. He had of course picked up Laurie's fragile state immediately, and had adjusted his manner accordingly, closely followed by the younger Agent's with him. Setting eyes on the sister of the man that was holding Emily had been something none of them were looking forward to. Not one of them had known what to expect, and Gideon had had his doubts about bringing the persistent JJ along with them, just in case. Yet she was sat quietly across from this woman, watching her pour hot water into four coffee mugs like he was.

''Seems natural, the FBI looking for him.''

''Why do you think we're looking for him, Mrs Jessup?''

Reid wondered, nodding his thanks as she passed him the first mug, before she pushed one over to JJ then picked one up and held it out for Gideon. Reid watched her shy like movements, almost skittish like a frightened but exploring puppy that had been told off too many times. For some reason, his heart sank for her.

''I figured maybe he's snapped, and _really_ hurt someone. To be honest, I thought maybe he was responsible for Kate's death, but then I saw the news this morning.''

She explained, or confessed, almost breathlessly. Like admitting she thought her own brother could be responsible for such actions was wrong. Most people wouldn't even dream of thinking their relatives, friends even, could be capable of causing such harm, and here she was, fully believing it. But as she looked up, she felt better knowing that these people, even if they were officials, didn't judge her for that. Her eyes immediately sought out JJ's, for some reason finding it a little easier to look her in the eyes. Whether it was the fact she was a woman, or because of her calming nature that rolled from her, Laurie wasn't exactly sure. But there was also something in those expansive blue eyes that she recognised, unfortunately.

''You said you arrested those Detective's for that.''

JJ nodded slowly, knowing without thinking that she was referring to the press conference that she had given.

''We're still investigating the other six murders.''

''You think Miller is responsible?''

''With the exception of Detective Delly, each victim takes a strong resemblance to your Mother, Mrs Jessup.''

Reid answered, with a soft voice but his usual oblivion to how his words would impact. Immediately, the older woman paled as she exhaled slowly, sitting back into her chair as she did.

''Are you okay?''

Gideon asked, watching as a trembling hand lifted up to cover her mouth for just a moment as her eyes closed. She was obviously trying to gain some control.

'I just…I try not to think about her. She was a monster. Miller was the oldest; he took more of the abuse than I did. But I didn't entirely escape. The things she did to him? I'm not surprised he grew up without a soul. I'm just shocked that I _did_.''

Laurie whispered hoarsely, shuddering at the memories that drifted into her mind. Things she had tried to escape. Seeing this, and the discomfort that they had put the woman in, JJ stretched forward slightly, reaching her arm across the table and putting her hand over Laurie's, getting her to open her eyes again.

''I know that we're dredging up hard memories, Mrs Jessup, and I'm sorry. But it is absolutely imperative that we find your brother. Anything you can tell us will help us do that.''

She related softly but firmly, looking at her compassionately. JJ didn't take lightly what Laurie Jessup had been put through by her abusive Mother. Things that no child should have been put through. On the way here, she had read over the file Garcia had managed to dig up, and she had found herself almost gagging at the detailed records of maltreatment this woman had been put through. JJ reflected that she had had her own fair share of problems with her own Mother, but it was absolutely nothing compared to this. And she was incredibly thankful about that. And despite everything that was going on, she refused to stop being the person she had been brought up to be. Which was kind and respectful, she refused to lose her compassion because she knew as much as it could be a burden sometimes; letting it go would destroy her.

''Okay…''

Laurie nodded, taking in a shaky breath and still sounding scared and little. JJ smiled softly at her, briefly letting her eyes roam over the kitchen that they sat in. All the colourful pictures and art pieces, the photos, the little plaques with endearing sayings on them. This woman was someone that had worked so hard to move on with her life. To make something of it. And it was so obvious that she had devoted herself to her family, even after such a horrendous example of one. She had turned out something altogether different from both her Mother and her brother.

''Looking around, I can tell that you're doing well. You survived, and you lived your life. I'm glad.''

JJ's smile grew wider with her sincerity, making Laurie relax and smile too, now put at ease by JJ's understanding. Then, she took in another breath as she shook her head slowly, concentrating on what the FBI were here for.

''Thank you. If it weren't for my husband, my kids…well I don't like to think about it. But Miller? He's always been twisted. I've only seen bits and pieces of him over the years. I thought…hoped even…that Kate would change him. I tried to warn her about him, but he had her fooled with his damn charming act. There was no reasoning with her. I should have said something to somebody.''

She reflected regretfully, eyes lowering to stare at the red and white tartan pattern of the table clothe. She only looked up again because JJ squeezed her hand and lowered her head a little to try and catch her line of sight.

''Hey, this isn't your fault.''

''You're not your brother's keeper. You couldn't be expected to know he was hurting women.''

Reid interjected also, assigning no blame on Laurie just like JJ. They knew how cunning and deceptive Miller Anderson could be, had been. And they had been separated as children, how was she really supposed to know what a distant brother was up to?

''I want to help you, I do. God help me, I believe that Miller is responsible and should be behind bars. But I don't know _how_ I can help you, exactly.''

Laurie sniffled, taking on a stronger tone as she looked between them each in turn, confused on what exactly she could do to help. Her eyes landed on Gideon last, who gave her a kind look through his eyes as he drew in a breath in order to respond.

''Do you have any idea where he might go? Someplace he could keep someone without rousing suspicion? He would blend in maybe. Somewhere familiar.''

As he asked, JJ's flinch didn't go unnoticed by Gideon, and he moved slightly to put a hand on her shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze. He was glad when he felt her relax a little bit, comforted by the touch. Right now, that's all he could really do for her.

''I don't…I'm not sure…''

Laurie thought, frowning as she did, completely oblivious to just how 'imperative' indeed it was to find her brother.

''Try to think about it, please. Maybe somewhere you lived as children? Somewhere he lived perhaps? Or wanted to? It could be a place he worked at, which is now derelict?''

Reid suggested in assistance, gently provoking her to think some more. Sometimes people just needed a little guidance in remembering things. He glanced at JJ momentarily as her phone began to ring, and she cleared her throat, excusing herself as she stood.

''Jareau.''

On her way toward the kitchen doorway as she had been heading for the living room so her call wouldn't interrupt, JJ stopped abruptly, her entire body tensing up immediately.

''_What_?''

Everyone looked up at her after the outburst, and watched her turn and walk back over, frowning as a litany of indefinable emotions swept through her eyes.

''What is it?''

Gideon demanded, responding to the overwhelmed look in JJ's eyes as her jaw dropped open slightly as she looked back at him desperately but still listened to whoever it was speaking to her on the other end of the line.

''Miller Anderson called the tip line. He's requesting to talk to me.''

Laurie gasped lightly, as Gideon pointed at Reid urgently.

''Get Garcia on the phone, I want that call traced.''

Reid immediately did as he was told, pulling out his phone and dialing Garcia. Gideon turned back to JJ, who stood almost frozen in shock in the middle of a stranger's kitchen. If it was at all possible, the young Agent looked like she had just dropped a couple of shades paler, being faced with this new turn of events. Gideon himself was surprised, but somehow found it fitting that JJ was the one being asked for. It had happened before, when someone responded to something she had said in a press conference. This was something entirely different though. He stepped forward, putting a hand on her arm to drag her out of her frozen state, getting her to look at him to concentrate.

''Try and keep him talking. Don't provoke him, keep your voice even and don't assign blame. Convince him you understand, assure him we only need to talk to him. If he admits to having Emily, try and get him to let you talk to her. Okay?''

Bringing her mind back from disarray, JJ struggled to contain herself. Why the hell did he want to talk to her, out of all people? She wondered for a second if he had managed to drag some information out of Emily. And that thought sent a sickening chill shooting down her spine. There was no way Emily would have given up something like that without an incredible force, and even then, it was doubtful. It brought every single horrific thing JJ had ever seen inflicted on women, but now all with Emily's beautiful and radiant face on them.

Yet, somehow, possibly only through Gideon's action, she managed to focus. Constantly being on the slippery edge of falling apart was something she had never truly dealt with before. There had been times she had become disconnected, beaten down simply by what she had to see day in and day out. Of course it affected her, she was human. It affected all of them. And she had done some stupid things with that despondent feeling. Drank herself stupid, for instance. Driven far too fast along a dangerous road or gone running at an hour that wasn't advisable. She had fallen apart so many times that she couldn't remember, often sobbing in the arms of someone she loved. Garcia, her sister, one of her friends, and since their relationship started, Emily. This felt completely different. This had her wading through a sea of uncertainty, focusing on what seemed like a mirage. She kept moving toward an image of Emily, but she never seemed to get to her.

''Yeah okay, put him through.''

Knowing that she couldn't give in to that sea of uncertainty, that looming nothingness of oblivion that waited off the edge, she forced herself to focus. If she let herself go, she was effectively abandoning her very anchor. She owed it to Emily to fight tooth and nail, and to herself. To every friend and relative, to every victim past and present that she had influenced. Emily had such an overwhelming influence on the people around her, even if she didn't realise it. JJ wasn't prepared to let that go because she was too weak to pull herself together and make sure she was found. She simply loved her too much to fall apart because it would do no good, even if she was terrified enough to.

''Hello?''

After putting her phone onto speaker and holding it out slightly, JJ heard a click that alerted her of the connection to wherever Miller Anderson was calling from. Her breaths came in raspy, shallow puffs as her heart thudded inside of her chest.

''Is this the Agent from the news?''

''Yes, I'm Agent Jareau.''

''Who is she?''

Caught off guard, from both the clarity and calmness in his voice, and the question, JJ frowned ever so slightly.

''Excuse me?''

''She said she's one of you, but I don't believe her.''

Anderson continued, not bothering to really respond to JJ's question. She understood anyway though, and her stomach did back flips as she recognised that he was talking about Emily. Her Emily, who was remarkable in every way she could think of. Who because she was there, with him, made her own body feel like it had something vital missing. Like something had been ripped away from her, making her soul hurt.

''Mr Anderson, the woman you're holding is Special Agent Emily Prentiss. Okay? She's FBI, and she had nothing to do with your wife's murder.''

JJ insisted, all along wondering just how in the hell she was managing to sound so calm and professional. It certainly wasn't her doing, so she figured that all these years switching from JJ to Agent Jareau had just become like second nature.

''Then why was she with _him_? No one is ever with him unless they're working with him. She helped him, I know it.''

''If you just come and talk to us we can sort this out, Mr Anderson. That's all we want to do.''

JJ's breath now hilted in her throat as there was a deafening silence, and her eyes shot straight into Gideon's, using them as an anchor as to not fly off the handle. She was aware that Reid was still sat with his phone to his ear, obviously having gotten Garcia on the other line, as Laurie Jessup looked on with horror filled eyes and a hand over her mouth.

''Mr Anderson?''

JJ ventured, considering the silence having gone on long enough.

''You just want to talk to me?''

''Yes Sir. All we want is to make sure everyone is safe. Is Emily safe?''

At his lack of response, that silence throbbed through her ears loudly, causing her heart to jump up into her throat. There was that feeling again; the same one she had experienced when Morgan had told her Emily had gone missing. Where everything abandoned her, leaving her with nothing. Leaving her to float through an endless eternity of seconds.

''Is Agent Prentiss safe?''

She demanded a little firmer this time, wanting to ruse each of them out of this silent and floating lull. It was a question that she braced herself for to receive its answer. For what felt like the millionth time, visions of her girlfriend floated past her eyes. Like a corny TV show when they saluted a character goodbye with a minuets montage of their best moments. And here was Emily's, right there before her eyes that only she could see. The sweet moments, the intense moments, the tender moments, the funny moments, the angry moments, the passionate moments…they all splayed out right in front of her, making her start to shake slightly as her breath went from shallow rasps to nothing. It just caught in her throat, refusing to come out.

''She's…well she's here.''

Immediately JJ let her eyes close, relieved enough to let herself breathe again. It was by far from perfect, but at least it hadn't been the worst answer.

''Can I talk to her, please?''

''Why?''

''To make sure she's okay.''

''I'll try and wake her up.''

There came a clinking type of noise, as though the phone had been put down onto something. In the distance Anderson muttered something, obviously trying to wake Emily up but his words were too muffled to hear what he actually said. As much as JJ tried to strain her ears to pick it up. Lifting up her free hand, she wiped some tears from her eyes that had welled there, trying desperately to keep herself together, but realising now that she was shaking. She listened carefully, hearing some shuffling followed by the sound of laboured breathing.

''Hello? Mr Anderson?''

The silence that followed was different to the last silence. It felt different. And deep down, JJ knew why. Something inside of her just knew that it was no longer Anderson on the end of the line. That barely there arduous breathing hitching and halting randomly wasn't his, it was Emily's. A stark contrast to the usually rhythmic intakes and outtakes. JJ knew because there had been so many times that she had been quite content to listen to that breathing. Sometimes when Emily was sound asleep, but she just lay awake with her head on her chest, their bodies snuggled up so close that there were barely any gaps. Sometimes when they were just laid together on the couch, doing whatever they were doing at the time. It didn't matter to JJ. She just liked to listen. That's how she knew, and again she was faced with the fact that what she heard now just didn't fit inside of her head when she thought about the brunette.

''JJ?''

Came the groggy, wheezy reply, coloured with confusion and layered with pain and exhaustion. Again, a stark contrast to that smooth, delectable voice of Emily Prentiss. Gone was the confidence, the warmness and smoothness of it. It held an eerie quietness to it, like the cracked voice of a scared and upset child. It reflected just how exhausted she was. The pain behind it made JJ both grimace and sigh in relief at the same time, being caught between two very powerful emotions. She hated hearing Emily like that; she wished desperately that they weren't on the phone. That she was there and able to touch her, able to sooth her and tell her everything was going to be just fine. She had nothing to be afraid of anymore. But also, she was so very beyond relieved to have this opportunity to know that in the very least; Emily was alive and responding to her. Feeling herself go a little light headed from this rush; JJ reached out and held onto Gideon's arm, gripping his shirt sleeve tightly.

''Yeah, Em, it's JJ. Are you okay? Are you hurt?''

The blonde answered eagerly, her brain scrambling to take this opportunity and run with it. What she really wanted to do was be Emily's girlfriend. But her head told her that she needed to be her colleague right now, and it pained her to be that. Emily deserved to have some solace given to her.

''I erm…I…yeah. Pretty bad.''

Emily's voice was still faint, and more rough than any of them had heard it before. Overwrought with everything she was being subjected to. They all knew what 'pretty bad' was in Prentiss code.

''Do you know where you are?''

''I don't…I can't see very well. There's erm…a lot of drugs, in my system.''

''We're looking for you Emily. Is there anything you can tell us? Anything you can remember?''

''I…its cold…''

''Okay honey but anything that can help us find you? Try and focus on what you can remember.''

JJ waited, wincing as she heard a few sighs and low grunts coming from her girlfriend as she struggled to think.

''You…did I…did I say it this morning?''

She finally asked, the desperation and upset in her voice coming through clearly. JJ frowned slightly, shaking her head softly as though she could be seen. She knew Emily had dropped out of being able to respond properly, instead the confusion in her mind taking over and instead asking what JJ presumed had been going through her mind. If it was clear enough to come through now, it had to have been important.

''Say what, Emily?''

''I can't…I can't remember. I should know. Please…''

Emily begged, becoming frustrated and pleading. JJ didn't stop her tears this time, agonized by being so damn helpless. She felt that resolve she had been holding on to, that kept up her FBI professionalism intact, start to fade away. And she helped it to. No longer could she resist it, it was pointless trying to pretend she could remain objective. It was pointless not to acknowledge that her relationship came before anything else. Emily was the most important thing to her, and even though she would employ everything she had been taught as an Agent to get her back, she would gladly risk her job in order to save her love.

''Know what? What can't you remember?''

''The rule…did I say…I don't…''

JJ sobbed once, hot tears stinging her eyes as she caught on to what Emily was trying to say. If it was possible, she felt her heart break even further than it had. Emily was going through hell, and she was torturing herself over their promise to one another. She was thinking about her. Tormenting herself, over her.

''You said it Emily.''

JJ ended that torment, giving Emily exactly the peace of mind that she needed. She wasn't lying, it was true. Obviously through the drugs and the pain, the brunette couldn't pull it up. It had been such a long time since then, and so much had happened in between. JJ was glad that Emily seemed relieved, sighing on the end of the phone softly.

''There's a letter… If I…if I don't…it's for you.''

Gripping on even tighter to Gideon's shirt, relieved that he was there to hold on to, JJ shook her head vigorously as wide spread panic swept through her body.

''What? No. Don't you dare give up, okay? We'll find you. Just hang on.''

Stripped of all her professional composure now, JJ got caught between searing panic and fear and a firm anger that she usually adopted when Emily had done something to piss her off and she refused to let her get away with it. It was the only way she could deal with it, to force herself to order her girlfriend firmly, so there was no doubt but for her to listen.

''I don't know if I can.''

''Sure you can baby; you're the strongest person I know. You're too stubborn for this Emily. We have to have dinner with your Mother on Sunday, remember? And we have that new place to look for. I'm not doing that alone, okay? Just stay strong, for me. I _need_ you.''

At the same time that she was giving Emily something to hold on to, reminding her of the life they shared together, JJ could feel everything slipping away from her. It felt like Emily had just moved further away from her, now impossible to reach. She thought about how easily grains of sand slipped through your fingers, not matter how badly you wanted to keep hold of them. It never mattered what you did. Something solid and heavy filled the inside of her up, like thick gluey tar. Whereas before any of this happened she could see her future stretched out before her, now it was dark and hazy. She didn't like that feeling. She didn't like the thought of Emily breaking enough to let go.

''I love you Jennifer.''

It had been the strongest thing Emily had said, firm in its conviction before there were mutterings from Anderson somewhere close before the phone went dead.

''Em? Emily? Oh god…''

JJ felt her whole world, her entire sense of self, shatter into so many tiny little pieces on the floor she wasn't sure she would be able to put any of them back together again. That hot, sticky tar inside her chest felt like it was squeezing the life out of her, making it hard to breathe, hard to feel. She just stood there, letting herself slip off that ledge into that dark oblivion. Again she was frozen to the core, eyes wide and watery as she stared at the phone that was still being gripped so tight her fingertips were white.

''Damnit.''

Gideon turned to Reid who shook his head regretfully, standing up slowly as he ventured toward JJ. His heart fell for her as he looked at her, thinking this was possibly the most broken he had ever seen her. And that was something no one ever wanted to see in Jennifer Jareau, because she was the heart and soul of all of them. She bound this family together tightly, and kept its collective heart beating. They needed her, depended on her constantly, and she always came through for them. She was always there for them, no matter what. As a colleague, as an investigator, as a friend or a sister. Even, in some respects, a daughter. Because Reid had often mused that Gideon could see her as one from time to time, in the very least mused if he had ever had one he would have wanted her to be like JJ.

As he pried the phone out of her hand, Reid was gentle as not to start her out of her shock. He passed the phone to Gideon before pulling JJ foreword a little, finally getting her to move. He didn't say anything as she wrapped her arms around him tightly, burying her head in his shoulder as she cried softly. He just hugged her back. It was time for him to be there for her now.

''I can't believe that's my brother. I'm sorry.''

Laurie whispered, seemingly in her own state of shock. Like she had just had the final proof that her brother was capable of doing something like this. The last nail in the coffin, so to speak.

''Can you think of anywhere he could hold her?''

Gideon asked, looking toward her as he let Reid comfort JJ now. Now more than ever he felt the frantic urgency to find the brunette Agent, for fear that if they took any longer, they wouldn't be finding her alive. If Emily was ready to give up, she must have been through some serious pain already.

''There was an old farm type building he was talking about buying, when he married Kate. About a half hour out of the city. I don't know if he ever did, though.''

''It's a start, thank you.''

Laurie nodded numbly as Gideon indicated to Reid that it was time to get on their way. The young man pulled back from his friend slowly, but didn't object when she caught one of his hands and gripped onto it, unwilling to relinquish all contact. JJ wiped her eyes again, with her free hand, struggling but taking deep breaths to try and calm down as she did. It was hard though, when your entire world was crumbling down on you. But as she nodded faintly, her eyes beginning to drain into emptiness, she let Reid lead her toward the door.

''Agent Jareau?''

JJ turned around automatically at hearing her name, to find that Laurie was standing and shuffling from side to side, aiming a kind but guilty look toward her.

''Yeah?''

''I really hope you find her.''

JJ just looked at the older woman, numb for a moment until the sincerity pierced through her wall and registered in her mind. It was so very odd, how two siblings could go through the same things and end up so far apart. One devoid of feeling, and one brimming with it. Not really being able to find much within herself right now to respond verbally, JJ simply nodded her appreciation before continuing to follow Reid and Gideon out of the house and toward the SUV. Not once did Reid let go of her hand in the car ride back to the precinct, nor did he object when she rested her head on his shoulder, her eyes just staring out of the window blankly.

**1:45pm**

**Precinct**

''There's a couple of derelict farm houses just out of the city limits. The police talked to the real estate agent, and based from the description one of them believes they showed Anderson around. Morgan and Hotchner are going to that one, and I'm going to the other just in case.''

As Gideon stepped back into their room at the precinct, he was immediately rushed by JJ, closely followed by Reid. After their arrival back at the precinct, JJ had excused herself to go to the bathroom, finally letting go of Reid's hand. When she hadn't come out for a while, Gideon had been prepared to walk into the bathroom to see if she was alright. But then she had appeared. Hair tied up and looking like she had splashed cold water on her face. She looked pale and tired, emptier than he had seen her before, but had her shield back in place once again.

''I'm coming with you.''

Evidently, she wasn't going down without a fight. Somewhere between entering the bathroom and exiting it, JJ had manage to find that resolve within her to keep going. He respected that, admired it. But it didn't make any difference, he was still going to rebuff her. Not because he thought she was weak, or couldn't handle doing her job. But simply because she was exhausted.

''No you're not, JJ. You and Reid are staying here, and you're getting some rest.''

''But…''

''There's no argument here. No one has slept yet. So we're taking it in turns. You're exhausted. You're not going to be a help to Emily if you burn yourself out.''

JJ scoffed, scowling deeply at Gideon's firm but calm manner, suddenly finding it incredibly annoying. Probably because deep down she knew he was right.

''Gideon, c'mon. Even if I don't go with you, I could talk to the rest of these people. Look in the other houses.''

She insisted, pointing to the list of the people that hadn't been checked off yet. This process was going unbelievably slow in her eyes, and if she had a choice between keeping up the search or going to sleep she was going to pick the former.

''Captain Rosenberg has his people on it. I promise I'll call the moment I know something.''

But Gideon wasn't giving her a choice. She stared at him for a moment, trying to come up with a reasonable argument to counter his order. She couldn't. Reluctantly, she just nodded, knowing that out of the two of them, he would win on this anyway. So she saved herself the energy of argument. Intellectually she knew she needed to sleep. But emotionally, she wanted to do nothing but keep moving forward, hoping to bring back that image of a long future with Emily. But she indeed couldn't do that if she burnt out. And she knew damn well what Emily would say to her if she was here now. She'd tell her to get her ass onto the couch and let herself sleep for a while, there had been more than one occasion that it had happened before. It still didn't take away that sting of helplessness though, as she wrapped her arms around herself, staring into nothing as Gideon left.

''What's the rule?''

Reid asked, breaking the short silence and making her blink, coming back into reality as she frowned.

''What?''

''When you talked to Emily on the phone, she seemed desperate to know if she said something. The rule?''

''Oh. We made a promise, after we told each other we loved one another. We said that no matter what, we would never let ourselves doubt that. So we say it everyday, even if we're fighting. Just in case.''

JJ couldn't help but drift off momentarily, that moment clear as day in her mind, as she knew it always would be. It she had to pick a handful of her most precious moments, this one would be the highest on the list. Having Emily tell her that she loved her for the first time had been breathtakingly outstanding. No one before her had said it with so much soft intensity, so much awe and devastating power, making her fully believe that she had actually never felt love before. Yet, in Emily's way, she hadn't broken the gentleness that floated through the room, comfortable and warm.

_The night before, Emily had surprised JJ in telling her that she had cancelled her plans with her parents for Christmas, choosing instead to spent it with her. Needless to say, JJ had been extremely receptive to the idea, along with being bowled over. They hadn't spent much time sleeping, leading them both to be awake as first light broke for Christmas Eve. The birds had started chirping happily, despite the chill in the air caused by the falling snow. It had been snowing for the last three days, steady and smooth. Bathing the city in an almost ethereal glow. JJ had always loved the snow, herself. She loved watching it fall, it was so calming._

_The only light in her bedroom had been the fresh morning light, reflected from the pure white snow outside, yet to be disturbed by the residents on her quiet little street. Soon enough, there would be excited children rushing to play out, as they had for the previous two days. JJ would have envied them of their innocent fun, since on previous years she had joined them from time to time, but this year she was far too happy wrapped up in Emily's arms. Somehow, being wrapped up by her girlfriend, covered by the soft bed sheets in the lazy lull of the morning light after a long night seemed the best way to watch snow fall._

''_JJ? Are you awake?''_

''_Yeah.''_

_Emily's arms tightened a little around her, and JJ was happy to feel the other one inch closer into the back of her, even though she doubted there was much space left between them. The steady, rhythmic and warm breaths fell onto her shoulder causing her to shiver, before a kiss was placed there softly._

''_I love you, Jennifer.''_

_JJ had felt her breath catch, stalled by the powerful meaning behind the words, laced with a devastatingly potent awe and sincerity. That was when JJ had felt something burst inside of her, something that no one had ever reached before. And with one simple whispered declaration, Emily had forever left her impression there. But then, it wasn't a 'simple' declaration. After her brain kicked into gear, JJ turned around carefully, not hiding the amazement or the bliss from her eyes and face. Seeing the look reflected in bottomless dark eyes that pierced through her into her very soul, JJ's smile stretched out over her lips, as her fingers lifted to trace along perfectly formed lips._

''_I love you too, Emily. Always.''_

It had been the days between Christmas and New Year that they had promised one another never to let anything come between the belief of their love and them. Had vowed that no matter what, they were never to doubt it, never to question it and always say it. People said that if you said it too much, it became meaningless through overuse. Not for them. Because it wasn't just the verbal statement that they depended on. And in their line of work, it was better to overuse it than let it slide.

''That's good. And it's good she's thinking about you.''

JJ blinked again, snapping back into this harsh moment instead, instantly missing the memory she had been living. Time had deserted her once again, because she thought she had lived a lifetime in that moment, when it had only been a heartbeat. A heartbeat that was spent without Emily, a heartbeat that got her no closer to her. And with each heartbeat that past, JJ grew ever the more fearful that it would be Emily's last.

''She's giving up, Spence.''

She whispered into the air, wrapping her arms tighter around herself, the thought of it making her shiver as her stomach churned deep inside.

''She won't give up. She's holding onto you. That's important, having something to hold onto. You reminded her.''

JJ looked up at her young friend, seeking something from him like a child sought from their parents.

''How do you know that?''

''Because I've been in her place.''

It was a simple answer. Quite true. One that stilled her into silence, briefly remembering what it had been like seeing Reid held captive. Felt the pang of guilt she still carried with her and would forever more, even if what happened had not been her fault. She thought she had heard him in the barn, when he had gone around it. It could have happened to anyone. She had wished then that she had been taken in his place, he had been so fragile. Just like she thought now she wished she could be in Emily's place, to spare her of everything she was being put through.

''Gideon is right, you need some rest. Come on.''

Taking her arm, Reid effectively shook her of those feelings and thoughts as he guided her toward the couch in the corner of the room. They sat down side by side, and he slumped down comfortably as JJ curled her legs up beside her, then rested her head upon his shoulder again. Silently, he looped an arm around her, pulling her just a little bit closer to try and make her comfortable.

''She's cold.''

Reid frowned slightly, staving off sleep for a few more seconds at the words spoken so softly but seemed to echo loudly.

''What?''

''She said it's cold. She hates being cold.''

Not knowing what to say, Reid gave his friend a soft squeeze before he brushed through the ponytail of her hair a few times gently. He remembered hearing Emily say once, to Garcia, that it was sometimes the most effective thing to get JJ to relax. And she was right. He waited a minute or so as to hear the soft sounds of slumber before he closed his own eyes again, now being able to rest since JJ was.

**6:00pm**

There was only a scattering of Officers in the bullpen as Morgan, Hotchner and Gideon walked back inside, all glum and disillusioned after coming up with absolutely nothing at the farm houses on the edges of the city. Each one of them had let their hopes get high, but yet again, those hopes had been shattered.

''Morgan, get some rest.''

Morgan flicked a hand dismissively, trying to stifle a yawn and how blurry his vision kept getting due to how exhausted he was. And despite that it hadn't been a suggestion that Gideon had given him rather than an order, he blatantly disregarded it.

''I'm fine.''

''No, you're not. We need to take care of ourselves, too.''

Hotchner insisted, backing Gideon up and adopting his ever serious leader tone.

''But there are some other places to check out.''

''We'll take care of that. Look, I'll tell you the same thing I told JJ. You're not going to help Emily by burning yourself out. If something happens, you'll know about it, okay?''

Gideon yet again found himself insisting, wondering if he and Hotchner were just a little bit responsible for the relentless attitudes of the younger Agent's.

''What about you guys?''

''We'll check out the last few places and people on the lists first, then we'll get some sleep.''

Hotchner responded, making Morgan sigh as he rubbed the back of his neck.

''Fine. But if you find anything…''

''We'll call, don't worry.''

Hotchner watched, expression unreadable, as Morgan finally nodded and turned away to go and get some sleep. He sighed lightly, running a hand across his head as he turned toward his friend, grimacing as he squeezed his eyes shut for a moment. Not out of tiredness, but to prepare himself to verbally say what he had been thinking to himself for the past couple of hours. As he opened them again, he was sure the trepidation could be seen by Gideon.

''It'll be 24 hours soon, Jason. If he isn't getting the answers he wants out of her, he's more likely to kill her.''

Gideon simply nodded.

''I know.''

''And he won't do it quickly.''

Again, Gideon simply nodded.

''I know.''

Hotchner almost growled, running a hand over his face before dropping it suddenly in his frustration.

''How is he managing to stay under our radar?''

''He's had a lot of practice, Aaron. He's skilled. Even in his devolving state, he knows where to go, what to do and how to cover his tracks. I'm sure there are a lot more women we haven't found yet.''

Despite that Gideon shared Hotchner's trepidation and frustration, along with a lot of other emotions, he managed to sound cool and collected somehow. His usual soft nature, he supposed.

''Well, I'm not willing to let Emily become one of them. Let's go.''

**NJ**

**8:00pm**

It wasn't the cascading of water that woke her up, for a change. Which was something that was happening more regularly. But it was the sound of humming.

As usual, Emily woke up welcomed by nothing but intense searing pain and sickening wooziness. The cold had managed to work its way into her bones a little while ago, adding to her fatigue. She cringed tightly, groaning a little bit as she rolled onto her back, giving been leaned on her side, pressing onto her arm that Anderson had snapped. It was now swollen and slightly misshaped, which gave her a new wave of nausea in the pit of her stomach.

It was hard to breathe on her back. The stone floor dug into her and offered her no comfort. As she lay there, her eyes closed as she let the pain swallow her whole, she clung desperately to JJ's voice. It hurt, possibly more than any of this did, that she had given way to her doubts about herself and let her lover believe she was ready to give in. Anderson had laid into her something shocking, not long before the phone call, after she had failed another round of twenty questions. And she had yet again, fallen victim to the freezing cold water from the pipe. She had been at her weakest, and she had given in to it. She regretted that now.

Anderson had made a huge mistake though. He had let JJ talk to her. Of course, he didn't know he was making this mistake. Didn't know he was putting her on the line with the one person she would listen to when she was told to hold on. The person that she loved and had given her soul to. By giving her that phone, he had instantly given her the strength she needed to hack this out further, just because JJ had told her to. She had said she needed her. Emily refused to let her down. No matter what, she was to fight.

''Why is it, that I do what I do?''

Frowning as she coughed painfully for a moment, Emily managed to throw a look Anderson's way. He was stood by the table, eerily gentle in his movements as he placed an item that looked suspiciously whip shaped onto the top. She coughed again, guessing with a scary amount of objectivity that they had reached the next level of her torture.

''What?''

''Well, you should know, right? If you are who you say you are.''

He pointed out, still as unusually calm. Emily blinked hard, fighting off the dizziness coursing through her, once again feeling like she was on the deck of a boat stuck in the middle of a storm. Despite her weakness, she dipped into what she could, tapping the information she had pulled together here and there, putting it together to come up with what she considered the loosest profile she had ever come up with. She knew she was so very weak now, she was fighting so many things.

''No one…no one really knows exactly. But…the predisposition has to be there first. And I'm…I'm guessing you were abused. Belittled. Neglected, maybe. You…you choose women to denigrate, you demean them. You were abused by your Mother. The women, they look like her, I expect. You were demoralised, by her…by…by the foster parents you probably got passed around to. All that rage…it triggered what was there already. So you torture, and you kill.''

She wheezed excruciatingly now, wincing as she figured it really wasn't a wonderful idea to talk so much. Her speech slurred and slowed through the rasps. Even with her newfound conviction to fight, she wondered how long it would be until something physical gave way.

''Certainly think you know a lot about me, don't you?''

''I'm an FBI profiler.''

She threw back at him, before his face appeared over her. He leaned in close, his face twisted and contorted into menace and revulsion.

''You're a lying whore that thinks she can trick me into believing a lie. So why don't you try telling me the truth.''

Emily cried out as he reached forward and yanked her up, shoving her into the chair again. Her body drooped forward as she coughed and spluttered from the sudden movement, her internal stabilisation faltering making her feel even more sea sick.

''I've told…you the truth.''

She whispered through gritted teeth, only just loud enough to be heard.

''If you don't stop lying, you know what I'll do to you. You think you're in pain now?''

He didn't see her cringe ever so briefly at that prospect, suddenly remembering his other victims. She did know indeed what he would do to her, and that she wouldn't consider the state she was in now to be pain. But she still refused adamantly not to cave to something she wasn't responsible for, something she found abhorrent. She kept hold of JJ's voice, believing in her when she said she would find her. They were looking, they were all looking. That's what she needed to remember. Soon she would be able to hold her girlfriend. Soon she would be able to look at her, touch her soft skin, her silky hair. They could visit her Mother and go on their trip. And it touched on her mind ever so briefly that JJ had said they had a new place to look for. It made her smile internally, because she left out the waiting part.

''You're going to do it anyway.''

''Well that much is actually true. But I could make it easier for you.''

Looking up, Emily shot him with a look that went so very much beyond revulsion that it was startling. A look reserved for people like him only, adopted by her now as her ultimate defiance. She would rather die standing than on her knees.

''Go to hell you bastard.''

Emily was expecting another onslaught of beatings, she was expecting him to lose it like every other time she had stood up to him. Aggravating him by holding on to her last piece of control, not letting go of her spirit. He didn't. Instead he just gave her this cold, hard stare that struck her as very final. He lifted up his foot, placing it on the edge of the chair between her legs and forced it up and backward. Before she had time to register what he was doing, everything went black again. Just the second before, she thought she heard a crack. It never even occurred to Emily that it was the back of her own head, cracking upon the stone floor along with the thud of the back of the chair after Anderson had pushed her backward.

It was only him that saw the blood ooze slowly from the back of her head.

''Fine. I guess it's time to see just how much pain it takes for you to admit it.''


	9. Eternity Of Hours

**9 – Eternity of hours**

_"True love is like ghosts, which everybody talks about and few have seen." -- _La Rochefoucauld

**Precinct**

**9:15pm**

What had now become unsurprising, Gideon and Hotchner had found nothing at the last house they had gone to check. The two seasoned profilers had stood, defeated and dejected, in the middle of an empty living room, after searching throughout the entire abandoned building. Hotchner had stood, motionless, until something in him had snapped. In a swift motion, he had grabbed a rickety old chair and launched it at the tattered bay window. The loud noise of the chair crashing through the glass had almost drowned out Hotch's frustrated yell. After the noise subsided, only his heavy breathing remained, his dark eyes swinging onto Gideon who had yet to move a muscle. As Hotchner began to regain his composure, not worried or embarrassed about losing it in front of the older man, he nodded toward him and received one in return.

When the pair arrived back at the station house, they had opted to try and get some sleep too. That had been an hour ago. After half an hour of rest, then half an hour of tossing and turning, Gideon had decided it wasn't going to happen. Deciding to bypass their appointed side room as the lights were still out in there, the oldest member of the team made is way toward the break room of the precinct hoping to get a little kick start from the coffee in there. What he found though, was a little more than the coffee pot.

The dimly lit break room was vacant, for the exception of one person. JJ sat at the far end in silence, her back facing him and the doorway as she stared out of the huge window. She was slumped into the chair she had obviously dragged over there from one of the tables, her feet propped up onto the walls so her knees were closer to her chest. She was as still as the air around her, her breathing barely detectable over the hum of the room, as she nursed a coffee mug between her hands.

Gideon wondered what torture it was, to sit above city level, staring out into a sea of darkness and twinkling lights. Knowing that somewhere in that sea, the person you loved was being brutalised when you couldn't do a damn thing to stop it.

''Hey.''

He kept his voice low, as not to startle her, and started to pour himself a coffee as the blonde looked around but remained silent.

''Did you get any sleep?''

As Gideon put the coffee pot back into its cradle, he moved through the space as JJ turned back to gaze out of the window, her despondent look never faltering once. He picked up a chair, carrying it over and placing it near hers, but not close enough to invade her personal space.

''A little.''

She responded quietly, before letting the silence drift between them. Her eyebrows furrowed in thought for a moment as she let her eyes do another sweep of the sparkling lights that could be seen from this angle. Like she expected them to give her a clue somehow. But after nothing jumped out at her, yet again, she took in a small breath. She knew Gideon was waiting for her to say something, anything. That was his way.

''We've hit a dead end, right? No leads. No more places to look. No one to talk to. The press conference didn't help. Garcia couldn't trace the call, and the open trap on the lines won't work because he's obviously not going to call back. So we're here. She's there. Wherever 'there' is. And that's it.''

JJ spoke with such a defeated quietness that it actually echoed loudly around the room, catching Gideon by surprise. Her expression was still stony and glum, her eyes still focused out into the blackness of the night, awash with so many emotions that it was hard to pick one out at this point.

''You told her not to give up, so why are you?''

He asked pointedly, getting the result he wanted by having her look at him sharply, irritation and insolence now flaring up into those scarily pale blue orbs. He had wanted a reaction like that out of her, because he wanted to remind her that she still had some strength left. He wouldn't let her give up. It was his job to teach the Agent's under him. It was his job to lead by example, so that one day, they would surpass him. And it was his job to pull them back to their feet when they fell.

''You think I'm giving up?''

''It sounds like it.''

Glowering petulantly now, JJ cast a disdainful look at her superior, suddenly feeling the heat of anger turn in her stomach. For a moment, she wanted to lash out at him for being so ignorant. For being so arrogant even, thinking that he knew her so well. How could he possibly think for even a second that she would give up on the greatest thing she had ever had? On someone like Emily? He did know her, or what they had together. He didn't know a damn thing.

''You know, for a profiler, you don't know a damn thing about me. Or her.''

JJ chose to go with a verbal lashing instead, still scowling furiously. She expected a reaction out of him that wasn't almost welcoming. As he shrugged ever so softly, eyes twinkling invitingly with no trace of his own annoyance.

''So enlighten me.''

''What?''

''Tell me about you. Or her. Tell me about your relationship.''

JJ regarded him wearily for a moment, mulling over his genuine offer. Hearing the interest and actual eagerness to sit and listen to anything she might have to say. Then it struck her that he had provoked her for a reason. He wanted her to feel something, and she had to had it to him, when he wanted to be sneaky he really pulled it off. She had fallen for his play without a seconds thought, but she wasn't bothered, because she was grateful. He had given her back that spark. Although she hadn't given in, she had been dangerously close to feeling nothing.

''When I was a kid, I used to climb out of my brother's bedroom window and onto the garage roof. I would lie there, for hours sometimes, just looking up into the sky. I used to wonder what was outside our town. And what I could do to get out of it. It wasn't my family; they always supported me and loved me. They accepted me for who I was. It wasn't the actual town or the people. There was just this feeling inside of me that made me believe that somehow, I could make a difference. So I never gave up on that.''

Finally, after hesitating so she could let something rise to the surface to be spoken, JJ gave her boss a glimpse into her childhood life, and how that drive and instinctual willpower had always been there. Indicating to him that it had long been nurtured inside of her, and would take a lot to break completely. She remembered, almost wistfully for a moment, how she had lay there on the roof. Her brother and sisters had never been brave enough to up there with her, frightened that they would slip and fall as they climbed out of the window. It had never occurred to JJ. The only thing she remembered was knowing she just needed to get out onto that roof, and she had gone about it. Her parents hadn't known for a long time, and had warned her not to do it again when they had found out. She hadn't listened, and eventually they had given in and accepted that she was safe up there.

''You do make a difference. You help a lot of people.''

Gideon agreed earnestly, an edge of a smile on his lips as he nodded in a visual agreement. Countless of times he had seen JJ holding a terrified family member, a sobbing child, a shocked victim. She spoke soft words to all of them that always seemed to penetrate the hard barriers they had put up, and they always relaxed in her arms to those words. She so often took the sting out of thick tense air, made dubious witnesses and police officers trust them and blended their team into any surrounding. People listened to her, she disarmed them. She was good with people, and the words he had heard her speak to them, he knew they would carry inside of them forever. Just like she had done with Laurie Jessup, even at such a difficult time for herself. JJ was compelled to help people, it was her nature.

''Yeah, I guess I do.''

Despite her agreement, there was a trace of disbelief in there too. As though she didn't quite grasp just what an impact on people she had.

''Look at how you handled Laurie Jessup.''

''What do you mean?''

''Well given the circumstances, you could have lost your cool. Her brother is holding your girlfriend captive. Yet you empathised with her. You could have blamed her somehow, but you didn't.''

He pointed out softly, his respect for her filtering through his voice obviously. Still, she looked at him as though she was at a loss, like the thought of assigning blame had never crossed her mind. Which it hadn't.

''It's not her fault. There's no reason to blame someone that's innocent.''

Her eyes fell from his as her fingers scraped at an imaginary flaw on her coffee cup, and instantly Gideon detected why. He had wondered when he would get to broach this subject with the distraught Agent, biding his time until JJ was ready to hear it. And whether she knew it or not, she had just given him the opening that he needed.

''Have you told yourself that?''

Once again, JJ looked up sharply like she was caught off guard. Her mouth opened to object, but closed herself when she couldn't find an argument to deny her feelings. The truth was, she did blame herself. A great deal.

''You have to stop blaming yourself for what happened to Emily.''

''How do you know that I am?''

She demanded cautiously, frowning again as she tried to work out if she had been that obvious or if Gideon had been profiling her.

''Because despite what you think, I do know you a little better than you think I do. JJ, there was nothing you could have done. Okay? You weren't there.''

He insisted, making another wave of anger flare up in her. She let one hand slip from cradling her mug to flail in the air, exasperated.

''_Exactly_! I wasn't there. She was out there alone. She told me, she said on the plane that she had a bad feeling. She told me in the hotel that there was something wrong. She sensed there was something off about Dolton. She told me again when she got paired with him, and then she told all of us that something was wrong. I should have listened. I should have insisted that I go with her. Or go instead of her.''

Her voice had risen substantially now, that self recrimination hard and deep. She did blame herself. Not only was she Emily's girlfriend, someone that spent the greatest amount of time with her, but she was supposed to be a capable FBI Agent. Yet, she hadn't listened. She had assumed Emily's fears were simply because Kate Anderson looked like her, and that Detective Dolton was just a jerk. She should have known it was more than that. Should have known that for Emily to say it, there had to be something deeper going on, spurring her to insist that the brunette wasn't separated from everyone like she had been. She felt like she had abandoned her. And on a professional level, she should have pointed out it would have been much safer that way. But she hadn't, and Emily had been taken from her.

''And then you would have been where she is, and she would be having the exact same thoughts as you. Do you think she would have wanted that?''

''I don't care. If I could take away what she's going through by switching places, I would.''

She near yelled, feeling a wave of anguish shoot through her, twisting her very insides. Possibly for the first time in her entire career, she wished that she hadn't selected this case. Just handed it to one of the Agent's for them to profile, so they had never come anywhere near New Jersey. It was a moment of selfishness that she dwelled in only for a moment, because she knew it was wrong. That more and more women would have been killed for no reason, because Dolton was an incompetent ass. Emily would never have wanted her to think like that, but she had long ago snapped into distraught girlfriend mode.

''I know you would. But you didn't know, couldn't be expected to know, that this would happen. You didn't insist on taking her place, or going with her, because you were following orders just like she was. And you knew that if you had, it would have offended her that you didn't trust her. She would have felt like you didn't think she could handle her job.''

JJ sighed as she listened to his words, feeling the bite of exhaustion again, and rubbed her forehead as she hung her head low. He was perfectly right, of course. Hindsight, despite being completely useless, did tell her that she really couldn't have expected any of this. That Emily would have taken offence if she had kicked up a fuss. Still, she would have been fine with that.

''I would take a fight over _this_ any day.''

''JJ, you have to do your job. That's what you did. So did she. You're FBI Agent's.''

He reminded her, wanting to relieve her of this guilt and blame. But she looked up at him again, not with anger or frustration, not even with an argument ready on her lips. But with something deeper, and a desperate questioning swirling through her eyes.

''So where am I supposed to draw the line? I'm an FBI Agent. But I'm also her partner. As much as we try, there's no separating them out. I trust her, I do. She knows that. I don't think like this all of the time. I don't worry about her every single second when she's out chasing suspects and I'm not. Emily knows how to handle herself; she knows how to protect herself. But it doesn't mean that the thoughts don't slip in there sometimes. And it doesn't take away my right as the person that loves her to worry about her, or blame myself if something goes wrong.''

JJ persisted, longing to be given an answer to where she did indeed draw that line. They had talked about this, made their agreements in the early stages of their relationship as they had been taking baby steps. That one shouldn't interfere with the other. Work wasn't supposed to come between them outside of it, and their personal life wasn't supposed to cloud their judgement inside of it. But no one could ever truly do it, could they? You didn't cease being someone's lover the moment you walked into work. Quantico wasn't this magical building that turned you into simple colleagues. Life was always much messier than that, and it was a very rare day that you could draw lines and weed out the grey from the black and white.

JJ knew, intellectually she knew, that she needed to keep a lid on her feelings at work. That if she worried every time they went out into the field that Emily would be hurt in some way, it would drive her mad. That if she objected each time Emily was given an order that seemed a little on the risky side, it would make them no longer functional. She didn't want to do that. She loved her job, like Emily loved hers. And the rule to tell each other they loved one another everyday was their compromise; it was their way of dealing with the ever-present threat they faced. But really, did it take away her rights to think about it sometimes? To do exactly that, worry. To interfere because she didn't want to lose the love of her life?

''You're right, you can't separate that. But you have to separate what is out of your control. And this was out of your control. Just like what happened to Reid was out of your control. You can't blame yourself for either of them.''

JJ still looked at him; silently taking back her previous statement that he didn't know anything about her. She should have been pissed off that he had profiled her, but she knew he hadn't done it in an intrusive way. It hadn't been to root through her secrets or to find something he could hold over her. He took what he saw and mused on it, only so that when the time came, he could help. Gideon was a stoic man that must have had such a noise in his head from all his thoughts firing at once. Reid may have been a genius, but he still fell short on what Gideon had. That intuition was yet to find the young man, where as his elder had mastered it impeccably. JJ found it infuriating sometimes, because sometimes the last thing you wanted was for the truth to be shoved in your face. Now though, as she thought about what he had said, why he was doing it and the change in herself since he had started talking to her, she welcomed it.

''I guess I did sound like I was giving in. But I wasn't. I couldn't do that. I thought that this job was the most important thing in my life. Every time my parents asked me if I was seeing someone and I said no, they worried about me. But I didn't mind. It didn't particularly bother me. I didn't want my relationships to fail, don't get me wrong. But I always had my job, and I put it above my own happiness.''

Eventually, after a couple of moments floated by, JJ began to talk again, wondering where this was coming from. Wondering why she felt like she was sitting opposite the FBI's psychiatrist. But Gideon had the tendency to bring the things you needed to say to the surface, and he created such an atmosphere of respect and non-judgement that people let themselves do it. So JJ didn't fight it, she was too tired to fight it. But it was important to her that he understood she would never give up on Emily. That she was indeed, the most important thing in her life, and had been for some time now. She hadn't realised her priorities shift, not until she was put to the test. Which was now. Subconsciously she may have known, and she hoped that Emily knew it too, promised herself that as soon as she got her back, she would tell her.

''What changed?''

The question made her smile wryly immediately, as she put her hand on her cheek, one finger on her mouth like she tended to do but never seemed to notice. Her eyes changed now, glowing a little more as she thought about it.

''We got a new profiler! As soon as I saw her, I knew there was something different. I tried to ignore it for a little while, but it didn't work. So one thing led to another, and we started dating. Then more things lead to another, and now I couldn't imagine what life would be like without her. And I know, if I had to, I would sacrifice everything to be with her. If anyone outside of our little 'family' found out and used it against us, I'd rather step down from my job, which I love and I've worked so hard for. But she's more important to me.''

Her words flowed easily, as though she were comfortable with them, each one warm and honest. She had never thought like that before. Even in her relationship before Emily. JJ thought back to how in love she thought she had been, how devoted she was to making it stick. Yet, she had never prioritised it once over her career. Everything would be dropped instantly because she was at the beck and call of the FBI. It had never bothered her. She had been angry and incredulous when it had been pointed out to her, her work being the usual beginnings of huge fights. It had been the chisel that had inched the fracture into that relationship, until it had fallen apart all together. It had left her devastated, of course. Blamed herself for not being able to keep it together, but she had never blamed her work. She had actually been unaware of its devastating affect for the longest time. It had been the focal point in her life. Now though, she couldn't imagine choosing it over her relationship. Regardless of the fact she had worked so very hard to get here and to help people. She knew she would give it up in a heartbeat if she had to, and that was perfectly okay with her.

''I understand. And I'm glad.''

Once again, JJ smiled as she raised her eyebrows, almost teasingly.

''You're glad I would give up my job?''

She repeated, pretending to be slightly offended. Gideon just smirked, waving a hand as he did.

''JJ, contrary to popular belief, some things _are _more important. Obviously, I wouldn't want that to happen. But things change. The BAU always goes on. And whether you're in it or not, you're always going to make a difference. Hotch and myself? We gave up everything to be here. And it didn't get us anywhere. I barely know my son. The same thing is likely to happen to Hotch. Our wives left us; we barely speak to any of our friends. We don't go home to anyone. We don't have an anchor. You do. So I'm glad.''

It was a rare day that Gideon would bring up the misfortunes of his personal life. Preferring instead to remain silent about it, though he felt the sting of pain. There had been times, JJ remembered. She didn't pity Gideon, but she did feel something akin to sorrow as she thought about what he had given up. His son was around the same age as Reid, barely younger than herself really. Which is why she thought he had a Fatherly like attitude toward her friend. Reid lacked a Father and Gideon lacked a son. It seemed so awfully well fitted. But no one could replace Steven, of course. Like no one would replace Jack for Hotch. In that moment, JJ knew Gideon was right. She could go home to someone that loved her. Her house was full of life and energy. She respected Gideon and Hotchner for their sacrifices, but she knew she had an equally significant willingness to sacrifice too. She was grateful of Gideon's support of it, because sometimes it could feel selfish.

''Thanks Gideon.''

Gideon just nodded, looking down to gather up his vulnerability and close that area of himself again. He had opened up enough to let JJ glimpse it, enough to let it help her.

''That thing I told you, about when I was a kid? I told you that because I don't give up. And neither does Emily. She's been through..well…a _lot_, and she never gave up, for ten years, getting into this unit. She won't give up either. Trust me; you have no idea how stubborn that woman can be sometimes!''

Knowing that such a sensitive subject was now being closed again, JJ moved on to explain herself, and yet again make sure he understood her reasons for saying what she had told him. Her eyes flickered when it came to the subject of what Emily had been through, signalling that it was significant. Which was true. JJ had found her heartbreaking plenty of times over what her girlfriend had struggled through, but always had the greatest admiration for her because of it. Emily never painted it absolutely bleak, she found the positives and she didn't let it overtake her. Never wanted to be pitied or coddled over it. She was too stubborn, like she had said. Something that made her smirk again as she rolled her eyes lightly.

''Got an example of it a time or two, huh?''

Gideon smiled, making JJ raise a doubtful eyebrow.

''A time or two? I wish! But, it's one of the things I love most about her. Which you're not allowed to repeat, because she'll gloat!''

He chuckled lightly, holding his hands up and shaking his head. It was nice, just getting JJ to talk and open up. Seeing her smile again brightened his own spirits, her smile had that effect. And as she talked more about Emily, and obviously thinking back to precious moments, that smile reached her eyes to make them glow like usual. To see her be devoid of that had been startling, for everyone. They depended on her for that.

''Wouldn't dream of it.''

''Getting her to do something on a Sunday is next to impossible. She adamantly refuses to return her Father's calls on the odd occasions he leaves her a message. She knows exactly how to push me away when she wants to. And she is shockingly good at it sometimes.''

There was no trace of bitterness, regardless of the fact that on more than a few occasions, JJ had been hurt, even gutted, by the words Emily could throw at her. They would exchange heated remarks, spiteful and cruel. Once to the point that JJ hadn't known whether it would be repairable. But it had been. It always was. In their respective cooling off periods they always understood, and if they didn't, they still managed to talk to one another and make it clear. They were two private women that had tendencies to keep things to themselves; it had been hard to let that go for one another. Still, they had learned. And JJ couldn't place the fault entirely at Emily's feet. She always gave as good as she got. She had instigated her fair share of fights too.

''But?''

''But her resistance is automatic sometimes. Part of the defence mechanisms she built as a kid. But she lets me get past them. She trusts me. Not just in the normal, trust kind of way. I mean, she _really _trusts me. And she's so oblivious to how amazing she is. How easy it is to fall for her. She makes me feel special without even realising that she does it. All these little, insignificant things she does, they're actually really significant. And she's gentle, caring and she calls me on all of my crap. She knows when to push me and when to stop. I know she's a profiler and everything, but I spend all day with profilers. It's different.''

JJ looked down at her mug almost sheepishly, picking once again at an imaginary flaw. She stood no chance in describing the relationship she shared, but this she knew Gideon would understand.

''Because she loves you.''

He stated simply, making her nod and look up at him again, gravity centred in her eyes. That unmovable object, resistant to any force that met it. Even to this force, despite how painful it was. Nothing had been able to defeat it, and nothing would. JJ had promised Emily forever, and she was going to keep her word.

''She calls me Jennifer.''

JJ whispered, a simple sentence that would probably mean nothing to most people. To her, it explained everything she wanted to say. Everything that Emily made her feel, all of their relationship. All her life she had hated her name. Considered it generic, plain and boring. Until she had heard Emily say it. Then suddenly it had transformed into something remarkable. It had become meaningful, not just a word anymore and much more than a name. It carried within it everything Emily held for her. It didn't matter when she said it. Whispered on the brink of sleep, teasingly when they were sparring with their words, on the waves of passion, in a simple statement of love like she had the very first time, curled harshly in a fight. It always had an impact, always. It was everything.

As JJ let their look go, turning now to gaze outside again, the current situation suddenly reminding her of itself after the short break Gideon had given her, he turned toward the door where Hotchner was stood trying to get his attention. He had caught him in the corner of his eye a moment ago, but had been unwilling to abruptly cut JJ off until she was ready to stop. It looked like that time was now, as the intensity of hurt washed over her again, almost like remembering and explaining had been cruel and unusual. It would probably feel like that for her now, but it wouldn't forever. She had needed it, and he wasn't about to let her drown and go under.

''I'm going to get something to eat. Do you want anything?''

''I'm not hungry, but thanks.''

Gideon just nodded, not expecting her to accept his offer. Without any further ado, he walked out of the room, careful to close the door properly behind him so she wouldn't be disturbed by Hotchner and himself. That, and he had the distinct feeling that the unit chief didn't want JJ to overhear, considering he had chosen to remain standing outside of the room, wanting Gideon to come to him. There was an urgent, almost giddy look welling in the younger mans eyes, but a staunch seriousness still covering his face. Gideon instantly knew that something was happened, he had known Aaron Hotchner for too long to not recognise it. So he let himself be lead out of JJ's line of sight, in case she turned to look at the door.

''Laurie Jessup just called. She forgot about a house near the city limits that Kate Anderson talked about liking. A house her Mother spent some time in as a child, and would buy if ever given the chance. Guess which house has been on sale for the last two weeks?''

Hotchner dove in quickly, trepidation and anticipation not just in tone but facial expressions and body language.

''Why wasn't it on our list?''

''How were we to know it was there?''

Hotchner countered to the exasperated question, flailing slightly as his forehead creased even further as Gideon sighed.

''What do you think?''

He asked cautiously, not wanting to get hopes risen once again to then once again find nothing. But the look in his friend's eyes, wasn't one full of high hopes but that of actual belief. He nodded just once, confident that they weren't going to be disappointed this time. They had been doing this a long time; they had learnt to trust certain feelings. Energies, instincts, whatever they wanted to be called. Sometimes things just felt different, and they had to acknowledge that. Not one of them could ever explain it to anyone, but there was a distinct feeling that ran through them when they knew something was about to shift in a case, when a break was about to be made. Hotchner was feeling that now, and because of that, Gideon started to also.

''I think we'll find her this time Jason. I've already woken Morgan. Captain Rosenberg is organising SWAT backup. I'm not taking the risk that this son of a bitch will give up easily.''

Evidently, Hotchner really did believe they would find Emily. It did fit. It was somewhere familiar to Anderson, that was perfect for him to lay low because they had no way of even thinking about looking there. He was thankful that Laurie Jessup had managed to rack her brain hard enough to remember. He had seen her sorrow for JJ, the girl who had given her comfort, and mused that she had probably been thinking it over since they left wanting to help the young Agent if she possibly could.

''What about JJ?''

''I think we should leave her here.''

Hotchner admitted with a sigh, looking a cross between guilty and weary. He almost flinched at the look of admonishment in Gideon's eyes.

''I'm not sure if that's such a good idea.''

''Well neither am I. But what if we don't find what we want to find out there? Leaving her here is the better of two evils until we know for sure if Emily is alive. And what state she's in if she is.''

Gideon thought back to what JJ had told him, weighing up which was the better of two evils. Obviously, the two women shared something so intimate and intense, and he didn't feel like anyone had the right to keep this from JJ. However, she thought to the light in her eyes as she had focused on her memories, and he didn't want to take them away from her by replacing them with an image of lifelessness. Because he knew that it was a high risk that JJ would remember that and only that, should Emily not survive. But he couldn't ask JJ, because she would of course demand to go with them. Was lying to her, just leaving without a word, better than taking her? She would hate them for it, be incensed over their decision, angered that they trampled over her right. But that was also why Hotchner and himself were in charge. These decisions had to be made, as difficult as they were.

Feeling the urgency press into him, Gideon wiped a hand over his face, barely dropping it before he nodded in agreement.

''Okay. Let's go, let's go.''

Without another word, they rushed off down the hallway, a handful of Officers that had been standing by following them out. Neither one of them, in their eagerness to get out there and find Emily, had noticed another man standing further down the hallway. As soon as they left, one of the reporters that had been walking the halls trying to pick new information up snapped his phone open and dialled quickly.

''Boss? I think the FBI has been holding out on us. That Agent we couldn't get hold of, Emily Prentiss? I think I just found out why she's '_unavailable'_.''

**10:45pm**

JJ hadn't realised how much time had passed, whether it had been much or little, since Gideon left her. What she did know, and found rather odd, was that the bullpen she walked into almost in a state of sleepwalking, was alive with flutter and chaos. Instantly, it provoked her stomach to flip, and a feeling to remain there like she had swallowed an electric ball. It buzzed inside of her, making her entire body alert and jumpy.

''What's going on?''

The nearest Detective, sitting at his desk and talking in a hush on the phone looked up at her, figuring that she had asked him since he was the nearest. She hadn't, since she was too busy looking around to notice who was close to her. He pointed toward a TV screen on the far wall, which looked suspiciously like a newscast. Even before she walked foreword to get a better look, JJ could tell what was going on. She could see the familiar sight of a house being surrounded, and glimpses of three of her team members that right now, she could have quite happily have shot. In the pit of her stomach, she knew what was going on inside of that house. And if she hadn't, it wasn't like Reid didn't give it away with the guilty look he shot her as she moved in beside him, stunned and ever so slightly betrayed.

''Spence?''

JJ had spoken so quietly, so incredibly innocently as she sent him a confused look, that Reid almost couldn't look her in the eye. But as the confusion started to turn into hurt as the reality began to kick in, as she realised what had happened, he couldn't look away. He was trapped, devastated by how childlike she seemed. He felt the tight, vice like guilt grip him instantly, making him clear his throat as she stared at him accusingly now.

''They told me not to tell you, JJ. I'm sorry.''

JJ continued to simply stare at him, a whiplash of anger and treachery washing through her, creating the sharp tears that welled up quickly. Emily was in that house, and they had left her sitting by herself, thinking that they were no closer to her. Thinking about what was being done to her, about how cold and scared she was. How could they? They were supposed to be her friends. She had opened up to Gideon, let him in, let him see and he had stabbed her in the back. He had turned two of her best friends against her. Both Reid and Morgan had been complicit in this disloyalty. It made her sick. She wouldn't have done it to them.

''Do you know where that is?''

As JJ turned away from Reid, contemptuous and bitter, she caught a Detective's eyes before looking at the scene being transpired on the TV. It seemed that they were trying to negotiate, but there was no way to know where that street was, where Emily was, from the feed they were being sent.

''No Ma'am.''

Turning to Reid again, fixing him with an evil glare that she knew terrified him, that she knew would make him feel a hell of a lot worse than he seemed to feel now, she became determined to make him talk. They thought they could stop her, they couldn't. Nothing could stop her. They didn't have the right, they didn't have the power. If JJ had to interrogate everyone here, she would. And if that didn't work, her contacts in the media would tell her what she needed to know. It was insubordination, but she didn't care.

''Tell me.''

''I can't.''

Reid jumped, clearly startled by the forcefulness of JJ's look, the harshness of her tone and the fact that she slammed her fist down on the desk beside her angrily, making the entire bullpen stop in its tracks. She was aware that it might be considered hysterical on her behalf, she was deprived of sleep and hadn't eaten for a very long time, her emotions were clouding every single judgement she had therefore shoving out the possibility of objectivity and her nerves were at their wits end. She did not care. Nothing mattered to her now. Nothing apart from Emily. They could do what they had to after this, fire her for all she cared. She would turn in her hardware for them if it made it easier. She would go through her friends if she had to, anyway she needed to. She was going to get to Emily whatever the cost. Whatever friendship and bridge she had to burn down to do it.

''Damnit Reid, just tell me.''

''You can't do anything out there. Gideon is trying to negotiate as we speak. There's nothing else either of us could do.''

Reid almost cried pathetically, pleading with her with his puppy dog eyes and little boy way that on any other day might have registered inside of her. Now thought it just made her angrier. Made the feeling of betrayal so much more potent. It made her sneer at him, blinded by her rage that he would do this to her when he knew for himself, had seen for himself, what Emily meant to her.

''Don't you give me that. Don't talk to me like an Agent. Okay? You're supposed to be my friend. You're supposed to be _her _friend.''

''That's why I won't tell you.''

JJ snickered, breathing in deeply after yelling at him, getting more wound up by the second. She shook her head, fixing him with yet another disdainful glare, a murderous one, as she put a hand on her head and began to turn away from him. She was done.

The blaring of his phone, however, made her turn back. She watched pensively as he lifted it up quickly, answering it without looking who it was.

''Reid. Yeah, she's right here. Okay. Are you sure? We'll be there as soon as we can.''

The young man frowned, nodding as he listened intently, biting his lower lip as he chanced a couple of brief looks toward this irate friend. He never dared to look at her more than fleetingly though, positively petrified of her right now.

''What is it?''

Before Reid had even had chance to snap his phone shut, JJ had stepped forward again, demanding to know what was going on. Adamantly refusing to be kept in the dark for any longer.

''Apparently Miller Anderson will only talk to you. He wants you to go in there to talk to him.''

She nodded once, firm in her conviction and willingness as she began to turn away. She was ready.

''Well then let's go.''

''JJ wait. Are you sure you can handle this?''

''Excuse me?''

JJ shrugged out of Reid's grasp as he had leaned forward to take her arm, effectively stopping her movement. He flinched for a moment, almost horrified by the stark contrast between now and earlier. Then she had refused to let go of his hand, she had fallen asleep on him, taking comfort in being close to someone. Now she couldn't stand to have him touch her. He had never seen her this outraged.

''I just mean…that erm…maybe you're a little emotional, right now?''

He stuttered, not really wanting to incur her wrath any further but somehow knowing that it needed to be said. She just couldn't turn up like this, it wouldn't help anything. But there was nothing he could do, as she just looked at him as if she was just daring him to say it again. To challenge what she was prepared to do for her girlfriend.

''Do you really think that's going to stop me?''

**NJ**

**12:10am**

She had reached the pinnacle of her terror. As soon as the gunshot sounded, sharp and distinct, resonating through every fibre of what made up this existence, Emily was propelled into a state of dread and panic that she knew she had never felt before.

Even as she had been kept here, near close to tortured, thinking every single second that her life was about to be extinguished, tormented over what she had and hadn't done. Emily wasn't one for panic, it was true. She couldn't do what she did and allow panic to override her. But there had been times that it had almost swallowed her up hole. Mainly personal times, or moments that lives didn't depend on her keeping calm. Like when Hotchner had told her that her assignment to the BAU had been a mistake. She had panicked for four days straight. Or when JJ had walked out on her once, leaving her to panic that she would never come back.

There had been many times of course. You didn't get through life without panicking over something. But this? This was different. Now, she was truly scared. The weight of everything that had happened really settled into her, striking a blow harder than any she had received from Anderson. The shot, sounding like a blast to her ears, had shocked her into movement. She flinched, and all of a sudden been thrown into chaos. Not because she thought the gun was aimed at her. But because she couldn't sense or see JJ anymore. She had vanished from in front of her, and despite her current state, Emily knew there had been some kind of scuffle. And it scared her that there was a deathly silence now; giving her no indication on whether that bullet had lodged itself into her captor or her lover.

By the time JJ had arrived, Emily knew she was at her weakest. Barely able to move, to open her eyes, fighting just to stay awake, fearing that if she let herself slip into unconsciousness she would never come out of it. The pain was so encompassing now that she barely felt it anymore, her body had accepted it almost. The voices had been slurred, distorted and hard to keep up with. But she knew, instinctually, she knew that JJ was here. And that had her afraid right off the bat. But relieved also. She had found her. She said she would, and she was here for her. She had tried her best to focus on what was being said, and somewhere inside of her, when JJ raised her voice; Emily knew what was going to happen. She knew JJ was baiting him, and that had made her panic too. But now there were no sounds. No one moved in the limited and smeared few that she had, as she continually tried to lift her head properly, tried to look and see for herself.

Everything was still. Everything was silent. Emily was screaming inside, but her body refused to do anything she wanted it to. That panic stabbed at her, told her to do something. Directed her to move, to call out to do anything. JJ had come in here to get her out, and now she didn't even know if she had been shot or not. It was unacceptable. She couldn't survive through all of this only to loose her. She had to do something.

Before she even got a chance to figure out what, or how, as chaos took over her to the point she thought she would possibly explode, she flinched again as she felt a hand on her thigh, instantly trying to move away in case it was Anderson.

''Its okay, it's over. It's over.''

Somewhat out of breath, her voice croaky from Anderson's attempt at strangling her, and a little worse for wear, JJ yanked herself onto her knees. She coughed and spluttered a little bit, her body flushed with a dizzying weakness that she completely ignored in favour of getting to Emily as quickly as possible. It was heartbreaking to see her like this, to watch her try and flee as she was touched. JJ immediately adjusted her movements, slowing them down as not to startle the brunette, her voice soft but thick, laced with the gravity of relief, of anguish, of love. She was honestly so swept away in it right now, that it almost numbed her. Emily needed her now, she couldn't fall apart yet. So instead she leaned in, gently and carefully removing the gag from her mouth.

''I'm here. Everything's going to be fine.''

Whispering softly, wanting to try and relax Emily so she wasn't so afraid and agitated, she was still leant in close to the brunette's weak and lank frame, reaching around both sides of her to try and get her out of the ties around her wrists. She spotted the shackles in the corner, a chill running up her spine at the thought of Emily being down their, chained to the floor before being moved to the chair. But she blinked out of it as Emily leant her forehead onto her shoulder, resting her head there.

Before JJ could say anything, before she could feel much more or do anything, think even, she heard shouting vibrate through the house. It wasn't a second or two later that the door burst open; the bright torches connected the tactical guys' guns shining brightly in the dimmed room.

''Hands in the air!''

Remembering what Hotchner had told her, JJ put her hands in the air as best she could with Emily's head still resting on her shoulder. Suddenly, everything felt so surreal. Like she would wake up at any moment, warm in bed, cuddled up to a warm body. In the morning she could laugh about how absurd her dream was, and Emily would laugh too. Only, the sting of reality stopped her from believing she was dreaming.

''FBI. The unsub is dead.''

It was the first time that JJ had ever felt glad she had inflicted such violence upon someone. She had just killed a man, and she was glad. As the gun had gone off between them, and she wondered if it was her briefly, she felt a satisfaction run through her as Anderson's body began to slip. He slid down along her, slumping onto the floor with a small thud, and she knew she should have felt wrong about being pleased. Not because she was alive, but because she had managed to kill the man that had hurt the woman she loved. That was his punishment. He touched Emily, and he paid with his life. She doubted she would ever regret it. If that made her a bad person, so be it. But she challenged anyone who loved someone as much as she loved Emily to feel any differently. If it marred her soul, she would gladly carry that so long as Emily was still by her side. It wasn't much of a price.

As the tactical guys lowered their weapons, Hotchner, Morgan, Gideon and Reid came rushing in quickly, eager to see for themselves what had happened. To make sure that both JJ and Emily were okay. They hadn't really braced themselves for the sight they were confronted with. The limpness of Emily's body, how unnaturally ashen she had dropped, covered with cuts, swollen bruises and blood. If they hadn't known already that it was her, each one of them would have had to double take, just to make sure. Gone was anything outstandingly distinct about her. Clearly, she was hanging on by a thread, they didn't even know if she was conscious anymore, her head resting on JJ's shoulder but never once moved to any of the noises through the room.

''Get the paramedics in here.''

Hotchner yelled out of the door he had just burst through, heart thudding against his chest at both relief and a newfound worry. They had found her, but she was so unbelievably weak. He didn't even need to move from the few feet he stood from her to know that. Scanning the room, he began to put the pieces together quickly. He saw the water hose; saw the blood on the floor. His jaw clenched, barely noticing Reid run out of the room to fetch the paramedics as his eyes were glued to his younger Agent. Emily Prentiss had never seemed so fragile, and never seemed so strong, before. A strikingly different combination, but she held it anyway. All he could do, like Gideon, was stand rigidly and watch the heartbreaking scene before them, as JJ whispered things they couldn't hear. Assurances, pleas maybe. Emily didn't move, but JJ kept talking anyway, unwilling to stop giving soft comfort to her, finally being able to touch her. She resisted the temptation to wrap her arms around her though; aware of all the damage Emily had suffered. It must have been unbearable.

''I'm gunna call Garcia.''

Face screwed up a little, dark eyes full with tears, Morgan ripped himself away, remembering his promise to let Penelope know as soon as he did what happened. He also admitted to himself, that he just couldn't watch this. It was too much. There was nothing left he, or any of them, could do for their friends now. He would be there for them both, but right now, right now was something private between them. Their contact, JJ's whispers, it was intimate to them and he felt like he was watching something so very beyond private. So he stepped aside, grabbing his phone as he inched out of the room, passing the paramedics that rushed through on his way out.

JJ almost had to be pried away from Emily as the paramedics brought their stuff in, starting to talk between one another in their medical jargon that JJ couldn't actually piece together right now. Her eyes didn't shift away from Emily, never blinked, her breathing heavy still, along with a slight wheeze. Her head was whirring, spinning out of control so that she found it difficult to catch a thought before it disappeared into the chaos again. She staggered a little, as she was made to stand back, that dizzying weakness catching up with her again. Not just from the scuffle, the adrenaline and the relief, but from the entire ordeal this had been.

''You okay?''

She just nodded at Hotchner's question, unwilling to stop watching the paramedics work on Emily and too unsteady herself to find her voice right at that moment.

''You're hurt. You need to be checked out.''

Gideon pointed out, looking JJ over with concern as the bruising on her neck steadily developed, blood of her own smeared across her skin. She seemed unable to catch her breath properly, but whether that was from emotion or injury he couldn't tell. She was favouring her right arm, and she seemed on the whole, somewhat weak. But yet again, she just shook her head.

''I'll be fine. I'm going with her.''

That anger and resentment that had welled up earlier, the ones that she had tucked away on the car ride over here, prepared to up her own feelings aside until she had Emily safe and sound, just dissipated. She barely remembered it had been there in the first place. She barely remembered anything much right now, because all she could think, hear or see was Emily. Her life was there in front of her eyes, limply being secured onto a stretcher, ready to be taken out to the ambulance.

The paramedics tried to have a look at JJ, but she rebuffed them immediately, wanting every second focused on Emily instead. No one even tried to stop her as she followed them out to the ambulance, not even noticing the commotion, the cameras and shouted questions. She climbed into the back of the ambulance, her movements on autopilot because her mind was solely with her girlfriend. She watched as the paramedic in the back with them went about his work, quickly hooking Emily up to some oxygen and doing various things that JJ couldn't concentrate on. She just watched Emily's eyes flutter every now and then, letting her know that she was still there, still fighting.

As they got to the hospital, the paramedics got Emily out, and JJ took Morgan's offered hand as she appeared at the back, helping her down. She didn't say a word, seeing the other three there too, obviously having followed the ambulance closely. All of them followed behind the paramedics, jogging to keep up as the hospital staff met them just outside of the bay doors. Immediately, they became immersed in passing information between them, and then suddenly Emily was being turned in a different direction, and a nurse was blocking them from following.

''Ma'am, you need to be checked out.''

The large nurse stated, holding her hands up to catch JJ by the shoulders as she tried to barge past her. She still tried, longing to follow Emily through the double doors she had been rushed through.

''No, I'm fine.''

''She's in good hands. Please, just let me take a look at your injuries.''

JJ sighed, knowing she was getting nowhere fast by trying to push the nurse out of her way. Clearly, she was stronger. JJ wasn't exactly at her peak strength right now, and she didn't think anyone would appreciate her threatening a woman who was just trying to help with her gun.

''JJ, c'mon. Go with the nurse. I'll watch Em.''

Morgan promised, stepping forward and putting his hand on her shoulder. She looked up at him pitifully, torn over what she should do and what she wanted to do. But between the look the nurse was giving her, and the look Morgan was, she was either about to go willingly or she would be made to go. So finally, she relented, nodding softly and sadly. Being parted with Emily for so long already was bad enough; it seemed like an extra kick that it was happening again so soon after finally getting her back.

Hotchner decided to go along with JJ, not wanting her to be alone, and considering it a good chance to get her statement out of the way so she had something to concentrate on too. Absentmindedly she had answered his questions, her heart not really behind her answers, tone distracted. She put up with the prodding and poking of the nurse, the x-rays and examination of her arm, ribs and neck. The wait for her x-ray results to come back had been excruciating, only to find out her arm was fine but needed a support cast on it. Quietly she had let them put one on her, not actually listening to the instructions to let her bruised ribs and soar neck heal properly. She just didn't care, didn't have the energy even to pretend. She didn't matter. She hadn't been tortured for 24 hours. No one else had been in that room for as long as she had, no one else had spoken to that son of a bitch. They didn't know, they couldn't link it properly. It was only Emily that mattered.

''Was that Emily's Doctor?''

After JJ had finally been cleared and given some painkillers, she had taken off like lightening. Practically running down the main hallway, Hotchner in tow, she hurried to get to the small huddle that Morgan, Gideon and Reid created as they each listened to a man in a white coat in the small waiting area next to the main doors. But just before she could get there, the Doctor slipped back in through those doors, leaving her to watch after him as she came to stand before the others.

''Yeah. Are you okay?''

Reid asked in worry, gesturing to the support bandage along her arm and some butterfly stitches on her head. The rest of her injuries weren't really treatable. Her neck was soar, bruised and red, but there was nothing they could do about that. She looked worse than it was, she noted. Sighing slowly, JJ nodded at the younger man and then searched each pair of eyes in front of her. Could they not just grasp the concept that she wasn't bothered about herself? All she wanted to know was what the hell was happening to her girlfriend. Her heart quickened in anticipation, slamming against her ribcage and shooting adrenaline through her again.

''I'm fine. What did he say?''

It was Gideon she turned to for a definitive answer, almost like she would turn to her Father for answers about the meaning of life.

''She's stable and responding well. The drugs have her pretty out of it. They've had her scanned and x-rayed. The knife wound missed the top of her lung; it didn't hit anything too important. The break in her arm was clean and manageable. There's a small, hairline fracture at the back of her head. It's caused some swelling, a concussion that they're keeping a very close eye on, just in case. There were signs of internal bleeding that they're dealing with. She has some cracked ribs, and a lot of cuts and bruises from the beatings. Her body is very weak from being kept cold and wet. However, they don't expect any lasting damage. She's going to be fine, JJ.''

Sighing heavily, JJ lifted a shaky hand as she placed it on top of her head, the words sinking into her slowly. It was a lot to take in. What she really latched onto was the part about Emily being fine. No long-term damage expected. That was possibly the best news she had received in her entire adult life.

''Was she erm…he didn't…''

She couldn't help bit gag as she tried to ask the burning question, not managing to even say the words. Luckily for her though, Gideon caught on and shook his head firmly.

''No. He didn't.''

She sighed again, relief pushing through her as a weight was lifted away from her. It made her wobble unsteadily, leading Morgan to step forward and steady her out. She still shook, blinking underneath the harsh light of the overheads. All this time had passed, yet none had passed at all. It was that eternity of seconds again. She thought back over the last day, and it was seemingly an unbelievably long stretch of hours. Yet now she was right here, and those hours were gone. They were done with, in the past.

''The Doctor said she's resilient. I say hard headed!''

Morgan teased lightly, giving her shoulders a light squeeze to try and take some of the tension away. He smiled as she did, but felt for her as he saw how exhausted and delicate she looked. Leaning in fully, he wrapped her up in his arms carefully, wanting to give her some comfort, warmth and help her adjust now. It was hard sometimes, having spent so long being tense and on the edge, worrying constantly and feeling helpless. All of that was slowly draining out of her, and it was a horrible feeling.

''It's over.''

''Yeah. I never thought 24 hours could feel so damn long.''

She muttered into his shoulder, holding onto him, welcoming the support he brought her. Evidently, she had needed someone to tell her it was over just like she had told Emily it was over.

''You coped extremely well JJ. I was worried that a relationship inside the team would adversely affect it. You held it together though. Besides, when I think about it, we make things personal just by being friends.''

Hotchner pointed out, tired but still letting his respect and indeed, that he was impressed with her resolution. The moments that she had stumbled, it had either she herself that had pulled herself back up, or she had had one of them there to help her. They were a team, its what they did. She hadn't fallen apart, hadn't sat in a corner and dissolved. She had helped, being spurred forward along with that resolve. They had all been upset. All lost it somehow at some point. Their friend had been missing; their objectivity was compromised too. It was natural. As long as they didn't make any stupid decisions that were adverse, did it really matter? They were a team, they were close and they basically lived in one another's pockets. No one could be expected to perfectly keep it together. It went against all their natures.

''Thanks Hotch. I'm not sure I was _professional_ exactly, but it could've been worse without you guys. And for those of you I snapped at, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it.''

JJ smiled softly, apologetically, mostly toward Reid. Out of them all, she knew it was him that had taken the brunt of her anger. To his credit, he hadn't given in to her, and she respected him for that. In the aftermath, JJ could see why they had chosen to leave her at the precinct, and she couldn't find it in herself to hold any blame right now. They would most certainly get a lecture about it at some point, but not right now.

''Hey, while we wait for them to put Emily into a room, you mind calling Garcia? The woman will _not _go home and get some sleep!''

Morgan requested, thinking back to the phone call he had made in which he had told her she could leave, but she had adamantly refused. How could she sleep when she didn't know Emily's condition, she had kept demanding. Morgan hadn't been able to answer her, and he thought maybe getting a phone call from her best friend might work. If someone could convince her to get some rest, it would be JJ.

''Yeah well, she'd developed this big thing about Emily. I'll make sure she knows she's okay.''

It hadn't been Emily that had said anything, she hadn't needed to. JJ saw quite clearly how taken away Garcia was with her girlfriend. Quite simply, she adored her. So it didn't strike her as odd that the quirky analyst was refusing to shift her ass to go home and sleep. But with a little coercion, JJ suspected that she could get her to go, so she began to inch down the hallway, smiling to herself lightly. She never noticed that in her wake, Morgan let out a long sigh, sitting down on the nearest chair before rubbing his face.

''You okay Morgan?''

Hotchner asked, frowning in concern, watching the series of emotions run through the younger mans face.

''Yeah man, I just…''

His mouth opened and closed a few times as he racked his brain to find an adequate word, but never came up with one. Instead he shrugged, flailing softly, knowing that it would be understood what he meant exactly.

''You, Reid and Garcia have known about JJ and Emily for a while, haven't you?''

Hotchner responded, not accusatory but knowing. Morgan looked up at Reid, who looked back at him wearily, not sure what to say. The younger man shoved his hands in his pockets, not looking at all conspicuous as he back rocking back and forth on his feet until he cleared his throat and nodded. He figured there was no point in denying it now. It didn't seem significant.

''We have.''

Hotchner nodded before looking between them, slight amusement touching his features.

''Guys, c'mon. You really think we didn't know?''

The younger two looked stalled, now looking between Hotchner and Gideon as they smirked a little bit. It should have figured, them being them and all. But they had never once let on. Not with an expression or wording, nothing.

''But _how _did you know?''

Gideon shrugged good naturedly at Morgan's question, shoving his own hands in his own pockets now, imitating Reid.

''A million different ways. Mostly subtle things. Certain looks, certain touches. We saw it from the start. Even before they did.''

''Why didn't you say anything?''

Reid wondered lightly, looking at Gideon speculatively. Again, he just shrugged.

''They had to realise on their own. They didn't need anything from us.''

JJ had felt glad to get some fresh air as she had slipped outside to call Garcia, feeling it bring some clarity to her. She brought her friend up to speed, who had sighed heavily down the phone, reassured and thankful that Emily was going to be fine. After a moment of absorbing it, Garcia had quickly turned her attention onto JJ. She kept her talking for a while, making sure she was okay until finally JJ had ordered her to go home. Exchanging their love, they had disconnected their call and JJ was left by herself outside of the hospital. Which was good, because she hadn't wanted the rest of the team to see her lean heavily against the wall, before slipping down it slowly as a flood of tears had surged up through her. It was just that need to vent. To take a moment and let everything out, get rid of it. She let it overtake her, her whole body shaking along with the sobs that vibrated through into her very soul. All she had felt, all she knew Emily had been through, she let come out in hot, salty tears. She did this now, alone, because she could never burden Emily by witnessing it.

Eventually, after JJ had found her way back inside and filled out a few forms for the hospital, the overwrought blonde then found her way to the side room they had placed Emily in. While the rest of the team headed back to the hotel, she had opted to remain here, and had actually dared Hotchner to tell her to go with them. He hadn't even tried, only offering instead to fetch her some fresh clothes in the morning.

Emily looked so frail and little lying in her bed, monitors beeping steadily as they watched over her, various wires sticking out of her, including the IV bags full of antibiotics to help her back onto her feet. They had changed her, cleaned her up. Underneath some of the swelling and bruising, the cuts marring her perfect skin, JJ could see the softness of it still. It would remain there, hers, as everything else faded. She'd received stitches, treatment for her ribs and the damage done by the kicking's she had taken. In all honesty, JJ hadn't registered everything into her brain yet. The information was there, but it paled in comparison to having Emily in front of her. Weak maybe, still and looking like she was a broken rag doll. But she was still there, still held that physical presence. She could be held onto, even if she was covered in different bandages, casts and a sling, tucked under warm blankets to keep her snug and help her body recover from the hours of cold.

After watching over her lover silently for a while, content in just brushing some of her hair back, gently stroking her thumb over her forehead, JJ had finally given in properly to her tiredness. Pulling up a chair next to the bed, she sat back into it, her feet stretched out to prop up on a stool she had found. The nurse had left her a blanket too, and as soon as she was settled and listening to Emily's soft breathing, she finally slipped into sleep.


	10. All I Need

**10 – All I Need**

''_All my agony fades away  
when you hold me in your embrace''_

''All I Need'' – Within Temptation

It was sometime later, time slipping into the early hours but unnoticed by either woman, that Elizabeth Prentiss stood in her daughter's hospital room doorway. After receiving Agent Hotchner's phone call, she had been in a state of surrealistic propulsion. She had never taken a call like this before, thankfully, and it was a little of an understatement to say that she had been flawed. Suddenly the immense gap that sank between herself and Emily seemed impossibly large, and threatened to be what lingered between them forever more.

Her baby, her flesh and blood, looked so far from anything that Elizabeth had ever seen her before. Bruised and battered, seemingly substantially smaller from just a few days ago when she had seen her last. She hadn't even known Emily had gone out of the state. As far as she had been concerned, her daughter was fine and she would be seeing her on Sunday.

There had been very few times in her life that she had actually been stalled, as though she had run straight into an invisible brick wall that sent her toppling back onto her ass. Every single judgement, disappointment, all anger and criticism that she had held in regard to Emily just drained from her, now faced with this. It was painful, seeing your only child lying limply in a hospital bed after facing such brutality. For a moment, Elizabeth cursed her daughter for doing what she did. For choosing such a career that constantly put her in this jeopardy. For not choosing instead politics or possibly law. Yet she felt so immensely proud. Emily had such a good heart, a brave heart. She was passionate and strong-minded, and she did what she did to help people. She was quite possibly the only person Elizabeth knew that had the gritty strength to come up against something like this, survive it, and then go back to fight another day.

''Normally we wouldn't have let none family members stay. But they wanted an Agent to stay here through the night.''

The Doctor, stood just behind the Ambassador, broke through her musings, indicating the blonde woman sleeping soundly, tucked under a blanket and hunched into the chair. Without a doubt, Elizabeth knew just who that Agent was, and both nodded slowly and smirked lightly. It amused her just a touch that the Doctor had been gullible enough to accept that as an excuse for her to stay by Emily's bedside.

''How is my daughter doing?''

She spoke finally, not having said anything else since she had announced who she was and who she had come for. Her eyes once again fixed onto her daughter, a mass of emotion swelling beneath her chest. Not that it dented her visible armour. Her beautiful features seemingly blank and her whiskey voice as smooth and direct as always. Her arms were folded across her chest, and her posture stood to attention as it usually did. She was well practiced at keeping her emotion out of sight. As was Emily, something that she had taught her. For a long time, Elizabeth wondered if that was a good or bad thing.

''Very well. She took quite the beating. He did a lot over 24 hours. But she's a very strong woman.''

The smaller man responded, clearly impressed to the point where he sounded almost proud. Still, Elizabeth couldn't blame him; Emily was her own force of nature.

''Yes, she is. How long will you be keeping her here?''

''In the minimum she'll be here two days. However, I'd like it to be longer.''

The Ambassador scoffed lightly, already imagining Emily's opinion on how long she would have to stay in the hospital for. To say her daughter hated them was the understatement of the year. Emily had always had an adversity to them ever since her Grandfather had taken ill. She had loved him so dearly that it had broken the little girls heart to see him wither away surrounded by wires and monitors. She had avoided hospitals as much as she could ever since.

''You'll have to fight her over it.''

''Well, then I expect to loose. Ma'am, are you okay? I know, it's hard for parents to see their children hurt.''

The Doctor smiled, then voiced his concern for the seemingly subdued attitude coming from her. He had unfortunately seen far too many parents faced with their worst nightmare. It didn't matter if their child was an infant or an adult, they were still their children. It never got easier.

''Sometimes I forget just how fragile she really is. Sometimes I even forget that she was ever dependant on anyone. Emily has the will and determination of no one I have ever known. And that led her right to the most elite unit in the FBI. So I suppose I should have been prepared for this. I mean, what kind of Mother doesn't worry about getting a phone call in the middle of the night about her serial killer chasing child?''

It dumbfounded her that she didn't think about it more often. And she found herself wondering just how many times Emily had been hurt in the line of duty before now, but had always remained quiet about it. She thought back to the conversation they had had at her home over lunch, when Emily had been spurred into an indignant rant about things that were unnatural. She had stated that if people only knew what was happening out there, they would reconsider who deserved the title. Elizabeth hadn't thought about it then, never really truly thought too deeply about it, even though she had seen some more than shocking sights herself. But was Emily saw everyday was entirely different. Almost alien, in its concept. She was bombarded with it all, it seeped into her skin. It begged the question of what exactly her daughter had been through because of it. Because she saw, she experienced and dealt with it. For the first time it scared her. This scared her.

''One that trusts and supports them in their endeavours.''

Elizabeth turned to him now, smiling lightly as she looked at him mysteriously. He didn't know that she hadn't been much of a Mother. Provided everything Emily needed but hardly anything she had wanted. He just saw her as a dutiful, loving Mother because she stood here in the middle of the night, having dropped everything to do so. He didn't know that she had told Emily on numerous times that she didn't think the FBI was good enough. She had never told her explicitly that she supported her, secretly proud that her girl stood on her own two feet, flat out refusing to be intimidated away from what she wanted. Emily just thought she had been a constant disappointment, but nothing could be father from the truth. Elizabeth had just grown so used to hiding behind the persona she had created to show her that.

''Thank you for taking such good care of her. She's the only thing I've got that's worth anything.''

That whiskey smooth voice faltered, split and hushed with the truth of her emotion. For a moment, in her honesty and sincerity, she let the mask drop. It made the man smile grateful and nod in understanding.

''Just doing my job, but you're welcome. Oh, and the man that abducted her? One of his victims was a nurse here. Those two women in there are pretty much hero's around here.''

He informed seriously, looking back into the dark room at his patient and the sleeping Agent that he figured was possibly more than a colleague or friend. He had been told about her behaviour when she had arrived, practically having to be pried away and seen to herself. The fact that she was hardly a foot away from the bed, and that kind of asleep that if anything happened she would spring back into alertness. But then, it wasn't his place to speculate. Though he was glad that his patient had someone here to support her.

''What happened to him?''

The Doctor lifted his hand, gesturing over toward the still unaware JJ.

''He was killed. By Agent Jareau there. No real loss.''

Elizabeth regarded JJ thoughtfully, trying to piece together what had exactly happened tonight. It had been a brief call, between Agent Hotchner and herself. Solemnly he had informed her of Emily's situation, stating that she had been taken by an unsub that they had been looking for in New Jersey. The rest of the information she had learnt from the news, or from the night staff here that had brought her up to speed. But there were still some gaping holes in the explanation that she would, in due time, demand to know. Now was not that time however, it was no use in waking anyone up to give her it. It didn't make a difference really, she just wanted to know.

''I'll let you have some time with your daughter, Mrs Prentiss.''

Smiling at him quickly again, yet absentmindedly, Elizabeth didn't respond verbally as he walked away, knowing that it had come time to give her some space. Perceptive man. She turned to once again look at her daughter, who had not moved since she had looked at her last. Taking in a steadying breath, the Ambassador moved forward to Emily's bedside. She felt herself flinch, her face grimacing at the unsavoury sight in front of her. The strange sight, in front of her. Again, almost alien in its concept. But she reached out slowly, running the tips of her fingers gently down Emily's face before stroking through some of her hair. For a moment, she lost the sense of everything. Engulfed only by a Mother's desperate longing to protect their child. The shadows around her seemed to be alive with everything left unspoken, hidden feelings, needless secrets. Before her lay an amazing woman, a truly remarkable daughter, and all she had done was squander the precious time with her, making Emily believe for so long that she was, never had been and never would be, good enough.

''You have stood exactly where you have all of your life, Emily. Right in the centre of my heart. I noticed you everyday. I wish I had let you know that. Because I do love you. Very, very much.''

Overwhelmed with her whispered confession, Elizabeth leant down and placed a soft, delicate kiss on her daughter's forehead. For a moment longer, she stroked along Emily's face, before turning to move into the corner of the room to sit in the surprisingly comfortable armchair. She intended to keep watch over both of the room's occupants now.

**Morning**

Unsurprisingly and characteristically, it was the delicious aroma of coffee that drifted to her, that penetrated through her foggy slumber. JJ was highly aware of how much coffee she consumed, and often thought that it was probably unhealthy. Her body was so accustomed to caffeine that she craved it constantly, like a smoker craved cigarettes and a drug addict craved the next high. She wasn't one to have an addictive personality, but she considered this to be her true downfall. In substances that was. But then, didn't everyone indulge in a little something, like Emily did with chocolate?

Emily. Instinctively, her eyes began to open slowly, stinging slightly from the bright light that she was greeted with. Possibly every joint within her body ached dully, reminding her that the only rest she had taken had been slumped awkwardly in a chair. She ignored it and began to sit up, breathing in deeply in order to try and wake up a little. The steady rhythm of the monitor floated to her ears, before the background noise of the comings and goings of the hospital followed it.

Now sat up, even though a little dazed from sleep, JJ first looked toward Emily. Seeing that she was still asleep, the blonde afforded herself a confused glance at the large, take out coffee cup sitting on the side locker beside her, along with a little brown paper bag.

''Would you like to know a secret, _Jennifer_?''

Before JJ had chance to wonder if one of the team was here, bringing with them some coffee that would have been very welcomed, a faintly familiar voice cut through the air clearly. She didn't fail to notice either, the emphasis placed on her name. Ambassador Prentiss.

JJ turned her head to look at the woman in question, sat upright in a corner chair, legs crossed and looking as perfect as she always seemed to. Holding one of the same coffee mugs in her hands. But, the one time JJ had met Emily's Mother, and from the pictures she had seen, she could tell that there was something different about her. Something in her eyes that she couldn't quite identify, but was meaningful and introspective in nature. She only knew that because Emily often held the same look.

''Okay.''

Sensing that right now the Ambassador had something on her mind, JJ simply nodded, giving her the encouragement needed in one word to continue. The fact that the older woman was looking at her speculatively, but with an air of mysterious that worried her slightly, kept making itself known to JJ. Now that Emily was safe, and she knew she was going to make a good recovery, JJ allowed her previous worries about meeting her Mother properly, as her girlfriend, inch back into her.

''Almost everything that Emily has done, I have kept. All her paintings, her medals, badges, reports…anything like that. I've kept it all. I have these special books, you see. I put anything in relating to her. Pictures, too. They're like diaries of her life.''

Elizabeth confessed warmly; wistfully even, yet with a saddening amount of sorrow and regret wavering through it. She wasn't sure why she had admitted that to JJ, a woman that she didn't know. But Emily did. Emily loved her. And this woman had saved her daughters life. She could actually see the connection between them, it was so strong. Emily didn't need to be awake for it to be there, hovering in the air peacefully but with an intensity that almost blew her away. It intrigued her. Jennifer intrigued her. She watched closely as the striking, despite being pale and tired, looking toward her daughter. She did too, but within a couple of seconds, they found each others eyes again.

''She isn't, however, aware of this.''

''I understand.''

Elizabeth smiled lightly, knowing that JJ understood that what she had just said had indeed been a secret that Emily wasn't to be aware of. Not only that though, it had just been something she needed to get out. Just so that someone else knew. In times like these, people tended to need to let go of certain things, even if it was to the wrong person. Times like these changed people. Made them reconsider things, think about their past, their future. Things they regretted, and the things they could still set right. Elizabeth was aware that she was no exception to these thoughts.

''You know, lying there, she looks ten years old again. She got very sick then.''

The experienced diplomat stated lightly, lost in a wave of memory. Emily had indeed gotten extremely sick, when they were still living in Cairo. It had been the only time really that she had ever been ill like that. Emily had never been one to catch bugs, and if she did, she didn't say anything much about it. But this had slammed into her little girl forcefully, landing her in hospital which of course, had completely horrified her. Elizabeth had sat watch over Emily then, just like she had last night. Not that her daughter had ever remembered, she had been too feverish to remember, and she had never told her.

''What was she like, as a child?''

JJ asked, not being able to resist the chance to ask as she leant forward a little bit, crossing her legs and propping up her elbow so her hand could hold her head up. She had heard Emily's version, her memories, her thoughts and feelings. Now though, having Ambassador Prentiss in such an open state just begged for her to pry a little bit. Especially given the little 'secret' she had just been allowed in on. Seeing as that she now knew that Elizabeth hadn't taken such a blind eye, she wanted to bring out some of her memories, her thoughts and feelings. For more reasons than wanting to hear about an adorable little Emily Prentiss.

''Vibrant. Intelligent. Sweet. She was pure. Of course, that was before the world caught up to her. She would have stood a chance, if it weren't for her parents. We certainly didn't make it easy. I'm sure you already know that. But somehow, and don't ask me how, she's manage to hold onto those. Oh I know she guards them with her life, but I know they're still there.''

Elizabeth replied affectionately, making JJ smile warmly as she imagined a cute little dark haired girl. A girl that would eventually turn into the woman that she loved. Things had gotten fractured along the lines, JJ was aware of that. But clearly, all was not lost. Clearly, Mother and daughter were just afraid and too stubborn to admit it. She felt like smacking their heads together. As she looked down, she didn't notice Elizabeth regarding her.

''I imagine she shows them to you, though. Does she tell you she loves you?''

JJ looked up again, a wide, classic Jareau smile covering her lips as her deep blue eyes glowed radiantly.

''Everyday.''

''I'm glad. She's infinitely braver than me. I should have told her before.''

Still taking full advantage of the moment, JJ took her chance to ask the question that Emily had been too afraid of.

''Why haven't you?''

''Fear, I suppose. It was easier to be distant, letting my job take precedent. I convinced myself I was doing it for her. I suppose it's a little true, I was able to give her everything she ever needed. Besides a real childhood and love, of course. But it was still easier. I just didn't know how. My Mother never showed me either.''

JJ remained quiet, letting Elizabeth reflect and knowing already that there wasn't all that much she could say anyway.

''The coffee's for you dear. It's still hot. One of the nurses fetched them in, along with a couple of pastries if you're hungry. Now that's what I call value for medical insurance!''

Elizabeth breathed in softly, pulling herself out of her daze and gesturing toward the coffee that was still steaming on the top. As JJ turned to look at it, before taking it gratefully, she took the opportunity to look at her. Underneath all the emotion and the exhaustion, Elizabeth could see easily see what Emily had talked about. The conversations floated by her, words and feelings jumping out at her. The way her daughter had spoken with such a powerful intensity that it had actually quietened her voice. She hadn't understood then. She couldn't say she honestly fully understood now. She considered herself to be a woman of the world, and was aware that for the most part, sexuality wasn't a choice. Love wasn't a choice. Emily had made it perfectly clear too. But Emily was also her daughter, and it hadn't been the choice she would have made for her. But then again, she had stopped being able to make choices for Emily long ago. And now, she wondered if it really mattered. She saw the woman in front of her, how she seemed completely devoted to her daughter, and considered that it was only that which mattered. Emily was happy, who was she to disturb that?

''Emily was certainly right about you. You're very beautiful.''

JJ looked at her again quickly, feeling herself flush red and smile shyly.

''She said that I was beautiful?''

She echoed in question, not because she didn't think Emily didn't think it, but because she had actually said something like that to her Mother.

''She said quite a lot of things. The only thing I'm going to ask, is do you feel the same way about her the way she does for you?''

Elizabeth alluded, leaving it up to JJ to imagine what she would about her and Emily's conversation, if she didn't know already. Then the protectiveness got the better of her. The Mother in her had to ask, wanting to make sure of this one thing in order to get over her issues for her daughter.

''Yes, I do.''

JJ responded immediately, her shyness gone and replaced by possibly the most openly genuine look that Elizabeth had ever seen. It instantly quashed any doubt or worry in her. Instantly made her understand everything a little better, even herself. And that flush of pride that she felt for Emily shot through her again, knowing that she had managed to find something that she herself hadn't.

''You know, it isn't too late to tell her about those books? To talk to her, tell her you love her. I think she'd like that. And I think you would too.''

JJ pointed out, conjuring up the courage to do so as the Ambassador thought to herself for a moment. Now was her opportunity to do something somewhat better than smack their heads together.

''I can't repair the damage I've caused over the years. I can't give her anything back.''

The older woman replied, a look of defeat and helplessness casting its way over to her. JJ wondered how often that look was allowed to be seen. Thought perhaps she was getting a rare opportunity to see the actual person and not the politician. It wasn't her that needed to see the person though, it was Emily. She was the one who had been searching for so long. If JJ could help aid that search, she wasn't going to waste her chance.

''She's not looking for any of that back. She's looking for you. She loves you. A lot. It's why she goes to you, even at the risk of being disappointed. Because she wants you to know her, wants you to see her. So let her know that you do.''

JJ's breath caught in her throat as Elizabeth peered at her, an unreadable look covering her eyes and face. For a moment, she thought she had overstepped her boundaries, misjudged the her opportunity. So she was relieved then, when she saw a smirk eventually make its way onto the Ambassadors face.

''I have a feeling I'm going to like you. Although, you have a distinct advantage considering you saved my daughters life. That always impresses the parents!''

JJ chuckled a little, nodding faintly at the absurdity of the notion, and briefly wondering if Elizabeth would have accepted her as readily on Sunday if none of this had ever happened. She knew it was a joke, however, but JJ was only too aware of the gratefulness crossing into the other woman's voice too. It was a thank you that she wouldn't have accepted if it was given to her directly. No one had to thank her for going into that house.

JJ might have replied then, but she felt her heart shoot into her throat quickly as her ears detected a small, barely audible sigh drifting over from the hospital bed. She knew that sigh, very well. So long in a relationship with Emily made her recognise the sounds she made when she was waking up. Still, JJ was unsure of whether she had heard it right or not, and acknowledged the possibility that it was her hopeful imagination. Sitting up a little more, with bated breath, her eyes glued onto her lovers form intently, waiting for an indication that her ears had been right. It took a second or two, but that confirmation came in the form of Emily's head moving slightly, obviously trying to follow the sound of voices, and a small frown creasing her forehead.

''Mother?''

Emily didn't know why everything felt do dull. She couldn't place the sensation that was stirring just under a blanket of numbness, making her feel like she was floating and drained. She felt dry and heavy, like something was pressing on top of her, weighing her down. Everything was dim and dark, noises echoed in her mind that was scrambling to figure out what the hell was going on. The only thing she could really recognised, was the distinct tone of her Mother's voice.

''Yes honey, I'm here.''

The second after Emily's whisper, cracked and shakey from her weakness, both Elizabeth and JJ were at her bedside, hovering at either side. They watched, eagerly as the brunette concentrated, struggling to form her words, having yet to open her eyes.

''I don't…I don't really feel like going to school today Mom.''

JJ laughed, her head spinning a little bit as her body filled with relief and the last suffocating weight lifted from her shoulders. With the exception of the injuries she was going to take a while to get over, Emily was okay. She was really okay. A little confused, understandably. It really was over, and she was here before her and she would be able to take her home again. That future of theirs that had been put in grave jeopardy stretched out before her again. It was dizzying, only this time in a good way. The soft tears that filled her eyes this time, was happiness, as well as a little amusement that her girlfriend had seemed to revert back to being a kid. But the only thing that mattered was that she was awake and she was responding. JJ was the most thankful she had ever been to anything or anyone. She wiped her eyes a little, taking a second to look up at Elizabeth who was chuckling too, with her own glistening eyes.

''I think that's okay, Emily. Can you open your eyes?''

Emily drew in a slow, deep breath as that sensation under the strange blanket of numbness began to pierce it. Here and there, she began to feel dull aches or stabbing pains, making her feel like she had just been rammed with the preverbal truck. It took her an inordinate amount of concentration to focus on opening her eyes, and she winced slightly as she did when the bright light struck her. Along with the stabbing and dull aches, a throbbing inside of her head started up, making her realise it was all too familiar. Flashes of blurry images and muffled shouts streaked through her unsettled mind, including a bang that sounded eerily like a gunshot. Everything inside of her tensed as the hazy memories began to pile up at her, as she blinked rapidly to fight off the sting of the light. After a moment, it got a little easier and the two person sized shapes began to take form. Emily looked up at her Mother, somewhat bewildered at her presence, before glancing at JJ, whose presence immediately comforted her.

All too quickly, Emily realised where she was, and why she was there. The details were a little hazy still, but the general grim jist was there. The case details came back to her, along with her worries about it and her theory on the murders. She remembered odd things. The conversation on the plane with JJ, asking Garcia to do her magic with her computers, spit balling ideas with the team. She remembered talking to Omar and his little girl. Then after that, what she mostly remembered was pain. She remembered being asked over and over again what she had done, and she remembered maintaining her innocence. But it was hard to remember much else, the fogginess was hard to try and penetrate through. Everything turned into nonsensical feelings and noises, smudged visions. The one thing on the tail end of that, was hearing JJ's voice. Emily didn't have a clue what she had been saying, but it had been calming and loving. It seemed that even through the pain, weakness and the drugs, JJ still managed to reach her. As though she had reached beneath the surface of that ice sea and pulled her up again so that she could finally breathe.

''Oh. Right. Let's blame that on the drugs, okay?''

Emily looked at JJ as she laughed lightly, grateful as the blonde slipped a hand over her own, gripping their fingers together ever so lightly considering the cast that was covering her broken arm. That soft touch though, felt like a hug. It made her grounded, swept away the floating anxieties that always accompanied visits to the hospital. It reminded her that she was safe and that JJ had her, like she always did. Somehow, and Emily was only just placing bits and pieces back together, she knew it was JJ that had been the one to see her through every single eternal second she had spent in the confines of a horrid room and overpowering drugs. Like she knew it had been JJ to set her free from them.

''Yeah I think you deserve a free pass on that one. How do you feel?''

Screwing her nose up a little, Emily revelled when her lovers other hand moved up to stroke gently over her face, trying to put her at ease and wanting that physical connection after it had been stolen from them for so long.

''Not wonderful, that's for sure.''

''You in any pain?''

''A little.''

It was a blatant lie, Emily knew. However, she had never really been one to admit just how much pain she was in, physical or emotional. Maybe it was one of the things she had learnt from her Mother, who had always been so stoic and withholding with her problems, her feelings, her own pain. Even when her Father had left, Emily remembered her Mother going about her life and duties in the exact same way as she always had. There was no use wallowing, she had said. Emily had been twelve, and she had most certainly wallowed, but only to herself. She had seethed too, furious at her Father for abandoning them, even though she hated him.

Shaking off the memory that had encroached upon her Emily looked up at JJ again, who was shooting her with a completely unconvinced and unimpressed look, obviously seeing straight through her automatic answer about being in pain. Switching her gaze over to her Mother, Emily was mildly dismayed at seeing the same look. Apparently, and rather shockingly, her Mother and her girlfriend had banded together.

''This isn't fair.''

She grumbled softly as she tried to discretely wince through a surge of pain that swept up through her. The two women at her bedside just rolled their eyes, as her Mother leant forward and pressed the call button on the wall. Secretly, Emily thought it was a good thing that there didn't seem to be any tension between the two women in her life. She wondered briefly about what they had talked about, she guessed aside from her, and just how her Mother had been treating her girlfriend. Still it couldn't have been bad if they were getting along, unless they were doing so for her benefit.

''Can I have some water?''

It struck her as wickedly ironic, asking for water. Anyone including her would have thought she had had all the water she could have stood already. However, her throat and mouth were uncomfortably dry, and she had that shrivelled feeling you got in your head when you woke up after a night of heavy drinking and thought you were dehydrating. As the weight of what she had been through caught up to her and her Mother turned to pour out some water, Emily looked up at JJ, only to be met by deep, understanding yet weighted blue eyes. Silently they exchanged the gravity of simply everything they felt, for each other and for the momentous ordeal that was finally over so they could move on together. It was surprising, the conversations you could have without muttering a word. Emily found the intensity in JJ's eyes so solid that she felt like she could physically hold onto it, felt like it would take her by the hand and wrap her up protectively until she was ready to step back into the world again.

''Excellent, you're awake.''

Their moment was broken by a rather cheerful, unsuspecting nurse that strode forward to turn off the call for aid. She smiled warmly at Emily as she looked up at her as she checked the monitor before pulling out a pen torch that sat in her tunic pocket.

''Do you feel nauseous? Have any pain or anything?''

The older woman asked, leaning in to flash the little torch in still hazy brown eyes, making their owner cringe slightly in discomfort, not yet being able to handle such bright and sudden movements. She remained still as the nurse did a routine once over on her, but tensed up, gripping onto JJ's hand tightly.

''Not nausea. I'm in some pain though.''

''Okay, I'll get you some medication sorted out. Do you know where you are? Can you tell me your name?''

Emily nodded as best she could, then instantly regretted the movement that caused her head to pound even more than it had been. Pushing aside the thickness clogging up her mind, she fetched up all the information that the nurse could possibly ask to make sure she was with it.

''Yeah. I'm in the hospital in New Jersey and my name Emily Prentiss. I think I'm okay, honestly. I know who the President is…unfortunately. And I can tell you what my address is, my social security number and stuff like that.''

Emily neglected to mention that thinking hurt right now, and she couldn't place anything much after she had been abducted. Then again, she figured that was as much to do with the fact she was kept drugged as it was the blow to the head she had sustained. Evidently though, the nurse bought it because she smiled at her warmly, and slightly teasingly. She seemed like a nice woman.

''You're just showing off, now! Okay, well that's good. You're tough, we like that around here. I'll let your Doctor know and he'll be by to talk to you, okay?''

She replied sweetly, managing to make Emily feel comfortable enough to relax a little bit. She knew it was ridiculous, both her uneasiness with hospitals and therefore the people in it, and also being uneasy with the unfamiliar human contact after what she had been through. Logically, she knew the nurse wasn't going to hurt her, she didn't believe for a second she would. But she couldn't help her bodies' tension, flinching lightly seemingly at anyone that she didn't know and trust.

''Yeah, okay. Thanks.''

The nurse nodded and left the room again, giving Elizabeth the opportunity to come up and stand next to the bed again, holding out a cup of water. She had put a straw in there, and helped her daughter get it in her mouth so that she could take some sips of the water.

''Do you remember what happened?''

JJ asked softly, both catching on that Emily hadn't exactly offered up certain information to the nurse and wanting to know how much she did remember. It wasn't exactly something she wanted Emily to remember, being that she had been put through so much. Maybe it was just one of those times where less was a good thing.

''Not really. I remember talking to Garcia one moment, and then the next thing I knew I woke up in that house. I don't even know what happened.''

Emily admitted finally, giving her Mother a thankful look before she looked at her girlfriend again. The whisper of memories came back to what she remembered in the moments before things went blank and waking up in that room.

''He blitzed you with chloroform. We figure he came up from behind.''

It made sense. Emily knew she hadn't been paying as much attention to the things around her than she supposed she should have been. Then again, it had all happened to fast that it could have happened in the same way. There had been no evidence other than an eerie feeling that something was about to happen, not really enough to go pulling your gun out in the middle of a supposedly empty street.

''How long was I there?''

It still felt like an eternity. It felt like it was still in her. It felt like there was a small chance she could just be unconscious, right there on the floor or slumped in that chair. Maybe she was dead? Though she doubted this would be her version of the afterlife. It was a funny thing, that. She had thought about it before. Emily wasn't especially religious. To be honest, she wasn't at all. Faith and spirituality however, that was different. However, during a philosophical talk with her college roommate one night, she had come to this conclusion. If heaven and hell really existed, and you somehow wound up in hell to be punished for some unspeakable evil, you could get out of it. See, in hell you were punished by your worst fears and nightmares. So if you convinced yourself that your worst nightmare was something you actually liked there was no need to suffer. And if you went to heaven, you were rewarded with what you wanted. So either way, you did pretty well. So Emily thought now that her afterlife would clearly never contain a hospital. So she ruled out that possibility quickly, she was definitely still alive.

''Around 24 hours.''

''Why?''

She remembered him asking her, over and over, questions about his wife. Dolton and what she had done. It was blurry and inconsistent, but she remembered. Still, it didn't answer her question fully. And it felt like maybe, if she understood, she would be okay. She had come to do her job and it had gone drastically wrong. But she knew before hand that it could happen. She had the best resources to help her with the aftermath, friends and JJ. And apparently she had her Mother too, which was a welcomed surprise. Emily felt like she could overcome the physical injuries with time. But the emotional ones were different. She needed to know properly, understand the reasons that she had basically been tortured for a day. And with that knowledge, that understanding, she could move on. She was strong and motivated, and she had an anchor that was there to help her.

''He was following Dolton. Anderson was responsible for killing those five girls. Gideon thinks there's more. But Kate Anderson was killed by Detective Dolton and his friends. Payback. So he killed Delly in return. He started loosing it when his wife was murdered. He saw you with Dolton, figured you were working with him. The moment Dolton left you out on your own; it was the perfect chance for him.''

Recognising the need in Emily's eyes, JJ tried to sum up as best she could enough that would give her some peace of mind right now. When she was strong enough JJ knew there would be some kind of statement Emily would need to make. She also knew her girlfriend would demand to look into the reports, wanting to see or be part of the debriefing. She needed it to let go, and JJ could understand that. Now was not that time though. Emily was too tired, still reeling from what had happened.

''I remember he kept asking me to confess to being involved. I wouldn't.''

Letting her eyes drop from JJ's, as though she didn't want to give her a window into her memories, Emily thought back once again trying to focus the blur. She didn't want it infecting JJ too, knowing how scarily astute she was at picking up things even from the look in her eyes. It was hard to think back though; she didn't have the energy it took to sort out the confusion. There was too much.

''Well your stubbornness may have saved your life. If you had played along, he probably wouldn't have kept you alive that long.''

''See, I told you it was a quality.''

Deciding to try and leave it behind for just a little while, for just until she had built her energy up again, Emily looked back up at JJ to reply playfully. It was nice to see her smile and roll her eyes, shaking her head faintly at her antics. Right now wasn't the moment to dwell ridiculously over what happened. Right now was the time to appreciate the chance to be together. She looked across at her Mother, who had so far remained silent so that she had been able to talk with JJ. From the thoughtful lookin her eyes, Emily knew that her Mother had been watching their interaction, and found it relieving that she seemed okay about it.

''You didn't have to come all the way up here.''

Elizabeth simply shrugged faintly, dipping her head as though it was some casual thing that had brought her up here.

''Well where else would I go when I get a phone call saying my only daughter is being held against her will by a mad man?''

The Ambassador responded dryly, but with a wealth of unspoken emotion behind the words. Emotion that she knew Emily picked up immediately. And even though it still scared her feeling so exposed, making her heart thumb against her chest, Elizabeth felt good about it. Her heart dipped at the childlike, vulnerable and expressive dark eyes that peered up at her affectionately.

''Thank you.''

Again Elizabeth smiled, this time lovingly as she moved a strand of dark hair out the way of Emily's face. Suddenly feeling somewhat braver about letting her daughter see her own vulnerability, and after the little pep talk she had received from Jennifer, Elizabeth looked at her daughter genuinely.

''There's nowhere I would rather be, Emily.''

She whispered softly, letting Emily see some of what she had been looking for all these years. Apparently, her daughter was so stunned that the only thing that she could do was look at her intently, not being able to respond verbally. Elizabeth cleared her throat then, after a few seconds rolled by and the weight of the air caught up with her.

''I'm going to go find somewhere to call your Father. Let him now you're okay.''

The moment was well and truly shattered for Emily, who upon the mention of her Father, did her best to scowl and pout.

''You told him? Why would you do that?''

''Because, like it or not, he's your Father Emily. He needed to know. Don't worry, I'll tell him you're perfectly okay and you don't need his help.''

Elizabeth promised, slightly exasperated by the reaction. There was hating someone enough to not talk to them, but she did expect Emily to understand why she had had to tell her Father. Yet she was only met with Emily's usual resentment on the subject and she knew she would get nothing else.

''I can't believe she told him.''

Emily muttered petulantly, making JJ smirk ever so softly in amusement. Not out of Emily's feelings toward her Father, but to the simply adorable way that she was pouting like a kid in a temper tantrum.

''Honey, he probably would have seen it on the news anyway. That's not what you should be thinking of right now anyway.''

She soothed kindly, gaining Emily's attention again. As soon as their eyes met once more, she saw the look inside tired brown orbs change from one of annoyance and bitterness to that of softness and love.

''I guess you're right. Are you okay?''

Thank softness and love held a noticeable concern, which both touched JJ and made her internally roll her eyes, exasperated that she was worrying over her. Then again, JJ knew how Emily's mind worked. She was a thoughtful person, and a thoughtful girlfriend.

''You don't need to be worrying about me, either.''

Even though JJ knew she would have been asking the same thing in Emily's position, she didn't want her worrying about her right now. She had already been through enough, she was exhausted and she wasn't going to benefit from worrying when she didn't have to. But from the look in her eyes, JJ doubted that she was going to get out of this one without talking about it and giving her a proper answer.

''JJ, I know what I would have felt like if it were you.''

Looking down at the polished hospital floor, JJ sighed slowly as she tried to collect her thoughts and feelings together. At Emily's mild confrontation, she knew that she was going to have to answer. Like she knew Emily, Emily knew her. And once again part of her felt pissed off that Emily knew she needed to get something out, whereas the other part was thankful and touched. She had hoped that it wouldn't be this soon. She had hoped that Emily wouldn't notice, wouldn't be so selfless because all she really wanted her girlfriend to do was concentrate on herself. JJ wanted to be there for her, without Emily having to take her own stuff on board too. Clearly though, that wasn't going to happen. And their relationship had never fallen like that once, she doubted it ever would. They could fight and hurt each other, spend hours lost in their own world of passion of love, of comfort, but they never let each other fall. No matter how they were feeling, what strain they were under, they would still stop and take on more for the other.

''It…it wasn't easy, let's put it that way. Knowing you were out there, all alone with _him_, I nearly lost it a couple of times. And the thought of loosing you? I mean, our jobs are dangerous and all, but it _really _sank in, you know? 24 hours is a _long _reality check, believe me. And I kept thinking, 'does she _really_ know that I love her? Really feel it?'. Because I say it everyday but I kept thinking it might not be good enough. It might not get across that I really do, like in ways I can't possibly describe because there's no words adequate enough. But underneath all of that, I refused to give up. And I knew somewhere, somehow, that you wouldn't either. And good lord how much am I rambling right now? I must've got it from you!''

Caving in, JJ looked back up and said the little bubble of things that had demanded to be shared. It made Emily smile, probably because she went a little red when she realised how quickly she was talking and how it had turned more into a ramble. That wasn't usually her style, it was Emily's. And with the flux of emotion, JJ once again rubbed her eyes with the back of her hand to try and remove the tears that had formed there, before letting out a soft and shakey breath. The wiping away the tears didn't work too well, more filled and rolled out slowly, but this time she didn't do anything about it. Like she had needed to cry outside of the hospital as a vent for all that had happened and knowing Emily was going to be okay, she needed to now too. The soft tears were representative of her relief that Emily was awake and talking to her, making it sink in that she really was okay. Like she had just needed this last one thing to believe it.

''It was sweet rambling. I'm not the only one that apparently knows how to make a girl feel special.''

JJ smirked widely, her mind casting back to the moment she had said that to Emily. It seemed like a forever ago. In the past 24 hours she had completely forgot about much of anything else, including the great weekend they had shared before arriving at New Jersey. It was odd really, because that's what she had been fighting for. What they had both fought for. That was them, together. And now they had it back, together.

''I feel it, Jennifer. You use more than words to show me you love me. I feel it every single second. And that's why I refused to give up. I have something pretty special to fight for.''

That was pretty much the bottom line. That in built stubbornness that she had, and having what she did with JJ had been Emily's saving grace. It wasn't perfect all of the time, but that's what was the perfect thing about it. And what JJ made her feel, what she gave her and showed her every single day had remained consistent and unbreakable. It had been ever present in that room with her, holding her in the palm of its hand. Unable to stop the physical, but sure as hell maintaining the emotional, right down to the wire. It was invaluable and Emily knew she may never have survived without that there. Without the knowing of how much JJ loved her, or how much she loved her back. It definitely was something special to fight for, and Emily knew that if she had to go through anything like that again for it she would do so willingly.

''I love you.''

JJ broke through Emily's thoughts, voice thick and cracked, summing up simply what the brunette had been thinking and feeling. That right there was what she would always fight for, always come back to. On the brink of destruction that was always what caught her. When her heart broke that was always what caught her. When she didn't think she could take anymore of what they saw on the job, that was what always caught her.

''I love you too.''

**4 months later**

Gripping their guns tightly, Emily and JJ made their way along the hallway balcony of the large, old and gutted house as quietly as they could. Both hunched forward slightly, training telling them to duck low and keep into the wall as not to be seen from below. There were soft echoes from the floorboards beneath them which were as bare as the surrounding walls. Breeze filtered in from various windows, a couple of which were just holes in the wall, waiting for new glass to be fitted. There were various things here and there from the absent workmen and decorators that were renovating the old house. It was Sunday, after all.

Emily stopped on one side of a door, leaning against the wall to face JJ as she came to a halt on the other side. With a knowing look, they nodded at one another, communicating silently what they needed to do. And silently, Emily gripped hold of the door handle, inwardly counted to three and then flung the door open, giving JJ the chance to rush into the room first, with herself following closely. Their guns aimed their direction, and within seconds they had the room clear. It was covered with cotton painter's sheets, and looked halfway to being finished. Emily turned back to the door as JJ lowered her gun, and closed it as quietly as she good before sliding the bolt that remained their from whoever the previous tenants had been.

''Hiding out in here should keep us safe for a while.''

JJ murmured, too preoccupied with looking around at the work being done in the large room to notice the look in Emily's eyes as she turned around from the door again. If she had spotted it, she would have recognised it instantly.

''Safe from them maybe, but not really from me.''

Before she even saw it coming, JJ felt the shot hit her at the side of her abdomen. A little shocked, she looked down and saw the purple splodge of paint dripping down the black protective vest she was wearing, before looking back up and raising an unimpressed yet amused eyebrow. She tried her best to look mad, but she knew she was smirking at the same time.

''Think that was funny, huh?''

''Ah ha!''

The playful smirk Emily held was nothing but cheeky and seductive, which was a little bit of a potent mix. JJ tried to hold her composure in tact as she watched her girlfriend start to advance toward her in what could only be described as a predatory way. So predatory that it sent shivers down her spine.

Still, not one to be outdone, JJ lifted her own paint gun up and squeezed off her own round, hitting the brunette square in the chest with a splodge of yellow. Then, in a pathetically girly manner, she squealed as she was rushed upon. Emily grabbed her around her waist so fast that they spun around in a little circle, before collapsing onto a heap of drop clothes, both laughing hysterically.

''You know, having a paintball contest with your friends doesn't usually constitute a house warming. But it's definitely fun!''

JJ remarked, now having disregarded her gun, her mind fully concentrating on the woman on top of her. She stretched out both comfortably and slightly teasingly beneath Emily, who made herself at home on top of her as soon as she had gotten comfy. She didn't protest either, as she pulled at the little Velcro straps of the vest, that ran down her side, keeping the thing on her. They weren't exactly FBI issue or anything, but were just enough to stop anyone from getting pinged in the torso by the paint bullets.

''I think, since we're both out of the game now, we'll have to create out own 'fun'.''

Emily purred, sending another shiver down JJ's spine. A wide, knowing smile crept onto her face as she tilted her head just enough to let her girlfriend kiss down her neck slowly.

''Ah ha, you're just on a mission to 'christen' every room in the house. Don't think I haven't noticed, Prentiss!''

The blonde half sighed, half laughed, once again failing to protest as Emily somehow managed to push aside the vest and duck her hand under the old Pittsburgh shirt she had worn for the unusual house warming. As soon as fingers found the way along her skin, JJ felt her stomach twitch. As soon as fingers found their way along her skin she found it infinitely more difficult to think properly, even though she managed to prod Emily lightly to emphasis her point that she and her plans had been discovered.

''Are you complaining?''

Emily asked all too sweetly, confident and a little self satisfied because she already knew she wasn't going to get a no in return. Because, really, JJ thought that would have been insane. It was a little funny though, that they seemed to be working their way through the house!

What had happened four months ago had now become almost like a distant memory. Emily had made a fine recovery after a lot of rest and some effort on her part in getting back into shape. The only real problem she had encountered were some damage to some of her nerves where she had been stabbed, and the aching of her ribs every time she had tried to do strenuous exercise. Things that were now long past. They had both worked through the emotional fatigue it had caused, and after a couple of months Emily had passed her psychological review and had found herself starting back at work. It was just after then that JJ had declared that waiting a few months to talk about moving in together was a complete waste of time. Within the first month of looking around, they had found the house they were currently in and fallen in love with it, despite it needing to be completely gutted and refurbished. They had taken it as a good thing though, because it gave them the opportunity to do what they wanted with it.

''Hell no!''

Both of them laughed lightly, amusement quietened and taking second place to the exploration of mouths and tongues. As Emily's hand moved higher under JJ's t-shirt, JJ's hand found a warm slither of skin that was left exposed between her vest and jeans. With the outside world happily forgotten, lost in their own little paradise, they gave way to sensation, desire and feeling. Past pain was now just a memory, and they had gotten through what had been the worst time of their relationship together. It had left them with a stronger bond, if it had been ever possible. Sealed and tightened their connection. They continued on. They laughed, fought, worked, slept, lived and loved. Together.

**The End!**


End file.
